Tag Archive: Sounds of Fundamentalism

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Queen and Freddy Mercury are Servants of Satan

joe schimmel

Warning! A boat load of Bruce Almighty snark ahead. Evangelicals easily offended would be wise to move on from this post immediately. You’ve been warned. No whining later if you decide to read on.

This is the one hundred and ninetieth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of Joe Schimmel, pastor of Blessed Hope Chapel in Simi Valley, California, detailing how QueenFreddie Mercury, and Adam Lambert are all servants of Satan.

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Now let’s listen to one of my favorite praise and worship songs, Bohemian Rhapsody

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Trailers for the new movie Bohemian Rhapsody

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And, finally, since I really, really, really want to give the mythical Devil/Satan/Beelzebub his due — all hail the Evil One, right? — let me conclude this post with a video of Queen’s 1985 Wembley Stadium Live AID concert. Awesome, oh so awesome, even to this day!

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Have you seen the movie Bohemian Rhapsody? Please share what you thought in the comment section. Are you a Servant of Satan, uh, I mean a Queen fan, what’s your favorite Queen song? Have you ever seen them in concert? Freddie Mercury era? Adam Lambert era? Come on, you heathens, let’s give it up for Queen and Freddie Mercury!

Think of all the rock bands that will be in Hell. Man, the Devil really does have all the good music — Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Christopher Hitchens too. Imagine an eternity of weekend singalongs with all your favorite bands, and compare that to what will be going on in Heaven — endless prostration before a deity who demands you praise him in masturbatory fashion over, and over, and over again. No thanks!

Schimmel is just the latest Fundamentalist preacher using the “evils” of rock music in an attempt to scare people into Heaven — a mythical place that only exists in the minds of Evangelicals. Preachers have been using this shtick since I came of age in the 1960s and 1970s. It didn’t work then, and it sure as hell doesn’t work now. What’s next? Backmasking? Record/CD/mp3 burning parties?  How did the whole Christian band replacement thing work out? You know, if you like *blank* secular band, you will like *blank* Christian band. Breaking Bob Larson out of the nursing home so he can reprise his “Evils of Satanic Rock Music” tour? Young people just listen to CCM AND secular music now, and based on my unofficial local observations, Christian young adults handily prefer secular rock/hip hop/pop over Christian music. The truth is, a lot of Christian music s-u-c-k-s — little more than rip-offs of secular artists. Decades ago, Christian rocker, Larry Norman asked, why should the Devil have all the good music? Have you noticed, no one is asking this question anymore? Why? Because, they have learned that the Devil really does have all the good, great, awesome, phenomenal music.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Republicans Are More Godly Than Democrats Says Phil Robertson

phil robertson

This is the one hundred and eighty-ninth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of an interview of Duck Dynasty’s quacker-in-chief Phil Robertson.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Michele Bachmann Preaches the Right-Wing Political Gospel

michele bachmann

This is the one hundred and eighty-eighth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of a campaign sermon by Michele Bachmann.

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Text Excerpt:

This isn’t about political parties. This is about whether or not we are going to yield ourselves to a mighty God—for his sovereignty, for his glory, for his power, and whether or not this nation will continue to reflect his biblical values from this shining city on the hill, all across the world. That’s the only reason that this nation has been singularly blessed throughout the entirety of its life.

We are privileged to be here in this city as proxies for his huge election that is about to happen. Because just like two years ago, when we asked God for a reprieve in this country, he gave us a reprieve. We’ve had unparalleled growth—never seen growth like we’ve seen over the last two years in this country. You’d never know it listening to the radio or looking at news sources, but it’s been unparalleled what’s happened.

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On Monday, Bachmann delivered a prayer at an event held at right-wing loon Harry Jackson, Jr’s Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, Maryland.

Here’s an excerpt:

Because, Lord, we ask that none but godly men and women would rule. We ask you for those godly men and women, oh Lord God almighty, we ask that you would do what no man thought could be done. Lord, they have started some of the voting in some of the states, but tomorrow is going to be the whole enchilada. And so, Father, we ask in the midst of that voting, that your will would prevail. …

You have a purpose and a plan for the United States of America. And we say nothing will thwart your plan for this country. And that’s why we come before you and say, ‘Satan, you will be bound in Jesus’ name. You will be bound, you and your minions, and you will not prevail in this election.’

We pray, oh God, against deception. We pray against delusion. We pray against every vile dart of the enemy that is thrown against the church of the Lord our God, and we say you will not prevail.

And instead we loose the holy angels of your kingdom to go about on assignment, to and fro across this nation, from Maine to International Falls, Minnesota, to Seattle, down to San Diego, and down to Miami, to Brownsville, Texas, all down the Mississippi, across this nation, that you would send your angels, Father, to bring about righteousness and holiness and justice.

And that you would confound the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy. There will be no killing tomorrow. There will be no stealing tomorrow. There will be no destroying tomorrow.

We are reclaiming this nation for the kingdom of Almighty God. We reclaim this kingdom. You cannot have this kingdom, Satan, this is God’s kingdom. And we preach that into every voting booth in this nation. That is not your territory, Satan. Get your hands off of every ballot and every voting booth!

And instead, Lord, you go in there. You take your people in there. Take your holy people in there to cast a holy ballot, a ballot that would honor your name.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: The Absurdity of Life Without God by William Lane Craig

william lane craig

This is the one hundred and eighty-seventh installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of William Lane Craig explaining the absurdity of life without God — God meaning the Christian deity.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Rodney Howard-Browne Incites Lunacy

rodney howard browne

Note: Corrected video to start at proper time stamp

This is the one hundred and eighty-fifth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip from a service held by charismatic evangelist Rodney Howard-Browne in July 2018.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Tony Hutson on Everything That Offends Him

tony hutson

Tony Hutson

This is the one hundred and eighty-fourth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip from a service held by Tony Hutson, pastor of Middle Tennessee Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Hutson is the son of the late Curtis Hutson, editor of the Sword of the Lord. — an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist periodical started by John R. Rice. In the video clip, Hutson shares a litany of things that offend him.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Tony Hutson Prays in a Restaurant — Supposedly

tony hutson

Tony Hutson

This is the one hundred and eighty-third installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip from a service held by Tony Hutson, pastor of Middle Tennessee Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Hutson is the son of the late Curtis Hutson, editor of the Sword of the Lord. — an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist periodical started by John R. Rice. In the video clip Hutson mocks people of Asian descent, shows his disdain for alcohol use, and shares a prayer he prayed at a Japanese restaurant — supposedly. I say “supposedly” because Hutson’s sermon illustrations — much like his morbidly obese body — are often bigger than life. In other words, Hutson embellishes — Greek for lies — the truth so he can make a point.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Former Atheist Howard Storm Says Atheists Are Ignorant

howard storm

This is the one hundred and eighty-second installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism features a video clip of atheist-turned-Evangelical Howard Storm talking about an out-of-body experience that took him to hell. Storm spins a fantastical story, yet he thinks atheists are the ignorant ones?  Storm says if atheists will just ask Jesus if he is real and sincerely ask him to come into their lives, he will indeed show us that he is real and come into our lives. Go for it! atheist friends.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Man Dies, Soul Goes to Hell, Satan Laughs at Him

This is the one hundred and eighty-first installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism features a video clip from a Christian man who says he died, his soul went to hell, Satan laughed at him, and then, drum roll please, Jesus swooped down and saved him. The man in the video says several times that he knows people won’t believe him, but what happened is true!  His proof? Cuz he says so.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Catholic Woman Eats Puke Instead of Leaving Jesus in a Plastic Bag

communion wafer

This is the one hundred and eightieth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism features a video clip from the Catholic program Take 2 with Jerry & Debbie. A woman by the name of Mary called in to tell a story about giving a hospitalized woman a communion wafer. The woman ate the wafer and immediately puked it up. The sick woman evidently received spoiled meat — remember the wafer is literally the flesh of Jesus. What did Mary do? She gathered up the puke-covered Jesus and put him in a bag. Faced with an existential crisis of leaving Jesus in a plastic bag, Mary decided to the eat the puke-covered Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

Lesson of the day? Sincere religious beliefs will make some people do bat-shit crazy stuff.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Evangelical Bill Wiese Preys on Dying Atheist

bill wiese

This is the one hundred and seventy-ninth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism features a video clip of Evangelical Bill Wiese talking out how he evangelized a dying atheist. Wiese, a con-artist for Jesus, is best known for his claim of having an out of body experience that landed him in hell for twenty-three minutes. Wiese has made a lot of cash off of this con, so there is no reason to believe that his atheist story is true either, or at the very least it happened as exactly as Wiese says it did.

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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Donald Trump is God’s Chosen One Says Mary Colbert

mary colbert

This is the one hundred and seventy-eighth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism features a clip from a TV appearance by Evangelical Mary Colbert. In this clip, Colbert says Donald Trump is the Christian God’s chosen one, and anyone who doesn’t recognize this risks God’s curse upon their life and that of their children and grandchildren.

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Colbert is co-author of a book titled, The Trump Prophecies.

the trump prophecies