This is the one hundred and ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Praise the Lord and Send Me the Money by Bobby Bare.
Praise the Lord and send me the money
I’m happy you can be happy too
If you praise the Lord and send me the money
That’s what Jesus wants you to do
Late one night while watchin’ Columbo
I fell asleep till quarter past three
When just like a vision I thought I was dreamin’
I heard the voice of a man on TV
He said praise the Lord and send me the money
I’m happy you can be happy too
If you praise the Lord and send me the money
That’s what Jesus wants you to do
I sat straight up and reached for my checkbook
Trembling with guilt took my bic pen in hand
I wrote out the figures a one and four zeros
Went out and mailed it with a note to that man
I said praise the Lord I’m sendin’ the money
I surely wanna be happy like you
Praise the Lord I’m sendin’ the money
If that’s what Jesus wants me to do
I woke up late for work the next morning
I could not believe what I’d done
Wrote a hot check to Jesus for ten thousand dollars
And my bank account only held thirty-one
I got a second job at a gasoline station
I’m savin’ me money to pay what I owe
I don’t get much sleep cause I stay up late watchin’
All of the folks on the Lord’s TV show
Sayin’ praise the Lord and send me the money…
Praise the Lord I’m sendin’ the money
This is the one hundred and eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Mississippi Squirrel Revival by Ray Stevens.
Well when I was kid I’d take a trip
Every summer down to Mississippi
To visit my granny in her antebellum world
I’d run barefooted all day long
Climbing trees free as a song
One day I happened catch myself a squirrel
Well I stuffed him down in an old shoebox
Punched a couple holes in the top
When Sunday came, I snuck him in the church
I was sittin’ way back in the very last pew
Showin’ him to my good buddy Hugh
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk
Well what happened next is hard to tell
Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see
As the choir sang, “I surrender all”
The squirrel ran up Harv Newlan’s coveralls
Harv leaped to his feet and said, “Somethin’s got a hold on me!”
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They were jumpin’ pews and shouting, “Hallelujah”
Well Harv hit the aisles, dancin’ and screamin’
Some thought he had religion, others thought he had a demon
And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his fruit of the looms
He fell to his knees to plead and beg
And that squirrel ran out of his britches leg
Unobserved to the other side of the room
All the way down to the Amen pew
Where sat Sister Bertha better than you
Who had been watching all the commotion with sadistic glee
Shoot, you should’ve seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said, “Lord, have mercy on me”
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame
She told of gossip and church dissension
But the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life
And then she started naming names
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They were jumpin’ pews and shouting, “Hallelujah”
Well 7 deacons and then the pastor got saved
And 25,000 dollars got raised and 50 volunteered
For missions in the Congo on the spot
And even without an invitaion
There were at least 500 rededications
And we all got rebaptized whether we needed it or not
Now you’ve heard the Bible story, I guess
How He parted the waters for Moses to pass
All the miracles God has brought to this ol’ world
But the one I’ll remember to my dyin’ day
Is how He put that church back on the narrow way
With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They were jumpin’ pews and shouting, “Hallelujah”
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They were jumpin’ pews and shouting, “Hallelujah”
This is the one hundred and seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Would Jesus Wear a Rolex? by Ray Stevens.
Woke up this mornin’, turned on the T.V. set
There in livin’ color, was somethin’ I can’t forget
This man was preachin’ at me, yeah, layin’ on the charm
Askin’ me for twenty with ten-thousand on his arm
He wore designer clothes and a big smile on his face
Sellin’ me salvation while they sang amazin’ grace
Askin’ me for money when he had all the signs of wealth
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself
Would He wear a Pinky ring?
Would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds?
Would His dressin’ room have a star?
If He come back tomorrow
Well there’s somethin’ I’d like to know
(Can you tell me?)
Would Jesus wear a Rolex
On His television show?
Would Jesus be political
If He come back to earth?
Have His second home in Palm Springs?
Yeah, try to hide His worth?
Take money, from those poor folks
When He comes back again
And admit He’s talked to all them preachers
Who say they’ve been talkin’ to Him?
Just ask ya’ self, would He wear a Pinky ring?
Would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds?
Would His dressing room have a star?
If He come back tomorrow
Well there’s somethin’ I’d like to know
Could ya tell me?
Would Jesus wear a Rolex?
Would Jesus wear a Rolex?
Would Jesus wear a Rolex
On His television show? Oh oh
(Would Jesus wear a Rolex)
(On His television show?)
This is the one hundred and sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Go Away Godboy by S.J. Tucker.
My made-up mind was not put here for you to change
You think that I am your lost cause, so beautiful and strange
Minding my own business ’til you criticized my friends
It’s on now, time to go now. Let the heresy begin.
and so I’m screaming
CHORUS
Go away god boy, your gospel doesn’t work on me
You’re pestering a goddess, here, I was blind, but now I see
You’re stuck inside your holy head, you think that you’re in love
Just Go Away, you lamb of god, before I have to crush you like a (bug)
Thanks for the invitation, but I’ve already thought this through
If I’m not one of the chosen, I won’t have to put up with you.
Who wants to go to heaven when your stalker meets you there?
Better a whore of Babylon, baby.
Don’t let the front door hit you when you…
CHORUS
Don’t try to wrap your head around my heartful of free will
I’ll shake you up, I’ll tear you down, do my worst and give you chills
I’ll hit you right between the eyes; these Boots will come to call.
Don’t make me make you sorry you came after me at all.
BRIDGE
You’re pestering this goddess to the ground,
but she will not come down
to what’s inside your head.
Go find a willing flock of sheep and preach to it instead
At least that way you’re occupied and might not end up dead
and resurrected
Go away, god boy, please don’t make me ask again.
I have heard you out, now it’s my turn to add a spin
Your holy head is up your ass, your message ringing clear.
Go away, god boy, or it’s me and not your savior that you’ll fear.
Punk Solo Break
(Hail Mary, full of grace! Save me from the human race!
Hail Mary, wise and meek! Save me from this freak!)
Go away, god boy your gospel doesn’t work on me
You’re stuck inside your dogma and your Karma’s getting messy
your holy head is up your ass, your message ringing clear
Go away, god boy, or it’s me and not your savior that you’ll
Go away now little boy, or it’s girls and not your savior that you’ll
Go away god boy, or it’s me and not your savior that you’ll fear.
This is the one hundred and fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is If There’s a God in Heaven (What’s He Waiting For?) by Elton John.
Torn from their families
Mothers go hungry
To feed their children
But children go hungry
There’s so many big men
They’re out making millions
When poverty’s profits
Just blame the children
If there’s a God in heaven
What’s he waiting for
If He can’t hear the children
Then he must see the war
But it seems to me
That he leads his lambs
To the slaughter house
And not the promised land
Dying for causes
They don’t understand
We’ve been taking their futures
Right out of their hands
They need the handouts
To hold back the tears
There’s so many crying
But so few that hear
If there’s a God in heaven
Well, what’s he waiting for
This is the one hundred and fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Devil is My Friend by Jazz Butcher.
The Devil is my friend
The Devil is my friend
Wherever I go, the Devil goes
The Devil is my friend
I went out one spring morning
To find myself a friend
Someone I could believe in
Until the very end
I found myself the Devil
He was sitting in a bar
He bought me fifteen Rum and Cokes
And then he went too far
Now
Chorus
And now it’s Easter
I’m feeling mighty low
That dirty rotten Devil
He said he had to go
Dirty stinking Devil
I’ll shoot him with my gun
The Devil’s bad, he made me mad
The Devil is a bum
But
Chorus
And Godzilla is my friend
Godzilla is my friend
Wherever I go, Godzilla goes
Godzilla is my friend
And Frank Sinatra is my friend
Frank Sinatra is my friend
Wherever I go Sinatra goes
Frankie is my friend
Chenenko was my friend
And Brezhnev was my friend
And Andropov he just dropped off
Now Gorbachev is my friend
And Love And Rockets are my friends
Love and Rockets are my friend
David, Kevin, Daniel
Everyone of them round the bend
And the Queen is my friend
Harvey Dean is my friend
And Idi Amin know what I mean? –
Was someone they met at a party
This is the one hundred and third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Jesus and Jones by Trace Adkins.
I’m the last one standing’ every Saturday night
All the rights feel long, wrongs feel right
But every Sunday morning I see the light again
When I’m up on the wagon I’m a helluva saint
But I’ll be damned if there ain’t another town to paint
Just down the road man it’s a game that I can’t win.
I need to find a little middle ground
Between let her rip and settling down
But I go from dry to drowned, lost to found
Stone cold sober to just plain stoned
Trying to live like my heroes did
Is the hardest kind of livin’ there is
Been a tug o’ war since I was a kid between Jesus and Jones.
I Wish I could find a gear between
“White Lightning” and John 3:16
But girl I can’t promise anything right now
All I can say is I wanna change
And I’ll keep the faith that you’ll take the reins
And hold on tight and calm this crazy down.
I need to find a little middle ground
Between let her rip and settling down
But I go from dry to drowned, lost to found
Stone cold sober to just plain stoned
Trying to live like my heroes did
Is the hardest kind of livin’ there is
Been a tug o’ war since I was a kid between Jesus and Jones.
I need to find a little middle ground
Between let her rip and settling down
But I go from dry to drowned, lost to found
Stone cold sober to just plain stoned
Trying to live like my heroes did
Is the hardest kind of livin’ there is
Been a tug o’ war since I was a kid between Jesus and Jones.
This is the one hundred and second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Ya’ll Motherfuckers Need Jesus by The Goddamn Gallows.
Ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
better end your wicked ways
well you know that he’s comin’
and you’re gonna be runnin’
when we’re at the end of days
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but the devil’s in your soul
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
i see satan in your eyes
well i see you standin’ there
in your fancy clothes
don’t you know that you’re gonna die
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but you keep your bible closed
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
whether if you’re rich or poor
well you know he’s gonna spite you
cuz you’re such a motherfucker
and he don’t like you no more
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
put you deep down in the hole
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
would he ever lie to me
well he don’t like evil
and he don’t like sinnin’
and he don’t like sodomy
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but the devil’s in your soul
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
This is the one hundred and first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Trash by Tyler Glenn, lead singer for Neon Tree.
I think I lost myself in your new religion
You say a prayer for me like a superstition
We were always made for love
We could always speak in tongues
On my knees and I’m seeing visions
Yeah, you remind me that seven sins are deadly
You used to baptize me when I wasn’t ready
Water never turns to wine
I’ve been drinking all the time
I think of you whenever I see fire in the sky
[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
[Verse 2]
I said my flesh is weak but the spirit’s willing
And you would sell my soul just to make the killing
If you wanted me to stay
I’d repent my days away
I think of you when I see fire in the sky
[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
[Bridge]
You keep throwing me out like
You keep throwing me out like
You keep throwing me out like
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
This is the one hundredth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
When the sun had left and the winter came
And the sky fall could only bring the rain
(I sat in darkness, all broken hearted)
I couldn’t find a day I didn’t feel alone
I never meant to cry, started losing hope…
(But somehow baby) You broke through and saved me
You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You made the brightest days from the darkest nights
You’re the river bank where I was baptized
Cleanse all the demons
That were killing my freedom
Let me lay you down, give me to ya
Get you singing babe, hallelujah
We’ll be touching, we’ll be touching heaven
You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
I don’t need the stars cause you shine for me
Like fire in my veins, you’re my ecstasy
(You’re my ecstasy)
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re the healing hands where it used to hurt
You’re my saving grace, you’re my kind of church
