Menu Close

Tag: Songs of Sacrilege

Songs of Sacrilege: I Believe in Father Christmas by Greg Lake

Bruce Gerencser 14 Comments

greg-lake

This is the one hundred and thirty-eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is I Believe in Father Christmas by Greg Lake of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Lake died yesterday at the age of 69.

Video Link

Lyrics

They said there’ll be snow at Christmas
They said there’ll be peace on Earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the Virgin birth
I remember one Christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas Tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
And they told me a fairy story
‘Till I believed in the Israelite
And I believed in Father Christmas
And I looked TO the sky with excited eyes
‘Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise

I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave New Year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear
They said there’ll be snow at Christmas
They said there’ll be peace on Earth
Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
The Christmas we get we deserve

Songs of Sacrilege: Jesus’ Brother Bob by The Arrogant Worms

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

arrogant-worms

This is the one hundred and thirty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Jesus’ Brother Bob by The Arrogant Worms.

Video Link

Lyrics

If you haven’t heard of me I wouldn’t be surprised
I bet you know my relatives their names will never die
My mother is a saint and my brother is a God
But all I am is Jesus’ brother Bob

CHORUS

Jesus’ brother Bob, Jesus’ brother Bob
A nobody relative of the son of God
If only I’d been born just a little sooner
I’d be more than the brother of God junior

I have to pay the ferry to cross the Galilee
But not my brother, no not him, he walks across for free
I finally get to work ’bout a quarter after nine
Already he’s turning water into wine

CHORUS

One day when I was home I heard a mighty roar
There were a thousand people right outside the door
“Help us Jesus, help us” came the cheering from the mob
Then they got a look at me, “Oh nuts, it’s only Bob.”

CHORUS

He died upon the cross, I thought that I was free
Finally people would get to know me for me
This was my big chance to finally get ahead
The next thing you know he’s rising from the dead

CHORUS

Songs of Sacrilege: The Frog and the Vicar by The Corries

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

the corries

This is the one hundred and thirty-sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Frog and the Vicar by The Corries.

Video Link

Lyrics

There once was a very very holy vicar
‘ Was walking alone the street one day,
When he heard a little voice sayin’: “Excuse me vicar,
O help me vicar”, the voice did say.
The vicar look’d about, but all he could see
Was a tiny little frog sitting on the ground.
“O my little froggie did you speak to me?
Was it you who spoke when I heard that sound?”
“Oh yes!” said the frog “Oh help me vicar,
‘Cause I am not a frog, you see!
I’m a choir boy, really, but a very wicked fairy
Put a nasty spell on me!
The only way, that I can be saved,
From this wicked spell” the little frog said,
“Is for someone to take me,
And put me in the place, where a very holy man
Has laid his head!”
So the vicar took him home,
Put him on ‘is pillow,
And there he lay till the break of day.
The very next morning: a blessed miracle!
The spell was lifted, I’m glad to say!
For there was a choir boy in bed with the vicar,
And I hope you think this all make sense,
‘Cause there, my lord, and members of the jury,
Rests the case of the Vicar.

Songs of Sacrilege: From God’s Perspective by Bo Burnham

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

bo burnham

This is the one hundred and thirty-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is From God’s Perspective by Bo Burnham.

Video Link

Lyrics

[Bo Burnham]
Um…there’s things I don’t want to be miss construed my act I feel off and on. I don’t wish you leave in my shell, thinking that I think I know better than people, or that I think I am better then people in general. Okay, I will put it up there. This is a song from the perspective of God

[Verse 1]
The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick
And I don’t watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don’t use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
[Hook 1]
You’re not going to heaven
Why the fuck did you think I’d ever kick it with you
None of you are going to heaven
There’s a trillion aliens cooler than you

[Bridge 1]
You shouldn’t abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to
You shouldn’t rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do
(It’s pretty obvious just don’t fucking rape people
I didn’t think I had to write that one down for you.)

[Verse 2]
I don’t think masturbation is obscene
It’s absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
Boy, did that go well

[Hook 2]
You’re not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
None of you are going to heaven
You’re not my children, you’re a bad game of Sims

[Bridge 2]
You shouldn’t abstain from pork just cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork, because why the fuck would I give a shit?
(I created the universe you think I’m drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?)

[Verse 3]
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Catholics
Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the thought
That maybe God does not believe in you

[Hook 3]
You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth the try?

[Bridge 4]
My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it you won’t need it
My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it you won’t need it

I’m not going to give you love just cause I know that you want me to
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you
Thank you very much

Songs of Sacrilege: Heaven by Talking Heads

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

talking heads

This is the one hundred and thirty-fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Heaven by Talking Heads.

Video Link

Lyrics

Everyone is trying
To get to the bar
The name of the bar
The bar is called heaven

The band in heaven
They play my favourite song
Play it one more time
Play it all night long

[Chorus]
Heaven, heaven is a place
A place where nothing
Nothing ever happens
Heaven, heaven is a place
A place where nothing
Nothing ever happens

There is a party
Everyone is there
Everyone will leave
At exactly the same time

When this party’s over
It will start again
It will not be any different
It will be exactly the same

[Chorus]

When this kiss is over
It will start again
It will not be any different
It will be exactly the same

It’s hard to imagine
That nothing at all
Could be so exciting
Could be this much fun

Boo Hoo: A Christian Complains About the Songs of Sacrilege Series

Bruce Gerencser 1 Comment
christian outrage

The Songs of Sacrilege series features songs that are irreverent towards religion, make fun of religion, poke fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenge the firmly held religious beliefs of others. Evidently, at least one Christian finds this series offensive.

inappropriate sacrilege

Inappropriate? Yeah, that’s kind of the point. Christians whining about it lets me know that the series is doing what I intended it to — giving the godless and liberal Christians a laugh and irritating the heaven out of God’s chosen ones.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Connect with me on social media:

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Songs of Sacrilege: Trailer Song by Kacey Musgraves

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

kacey musgraves

This is the one hundred and thirty-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Trailer Song by Kacey Musgraves.

Video Link

Lyrics

You say that you’re watching the birds out the window
Well I’ve got a bird you can watch
You ain’t gotta act like you’re borrowing eggs
Just to see if my dishes are washed
What’s it to you if it’s Wednesday at noon
And I’ve traded my iced tea for scotch

Keep your two cents on your side of the fence
Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
Nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer

You ain’t gotta ask what I did to my hair
Or whose underwear’s on the line
It ain’t mine
I ain’t gonna ask who’s been mowing your grass
So you ain’t gotta ask who mows mine
Quit judging my job and my car and my clothes
Get your nose out of your mini-blinds

Keep your two cents on your side of the fence
Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
There ain’t nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer

Don’t ask me if I go to church
I won’t ask if your husband is still out of work
Try and claim high society
We get our mail on the same side of the street

So keep your two cents on your side of the fence
Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
There ain’t nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer
You nosy bitch
There ain’t nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer

Songs of Sacrilege: Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

kacey musgraves

This is the one hundred and thirty-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves.

Video Link

Lyrics

If you save yourself for marriage
You’re a bore
If you don’t save yourself for marriage
You’re a whore-able person
If you won’t have a drink
Then you’re a prude
But they’ll call you a drunk
As soon as you down the first one

If you can’t lose the weight
Then you’re just fat
But if you lose too much
Then you’re on crack
You’re damned if you do
And you’re damned if you don’t
So you might as well just do
Whatever you want
So

Make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s something you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

If you don’t go to church
You’ll go to hell
If you’re the first one
On the front row
You’re self-righteous
Son of a-
Can’t win for losing
You’ll just disappoint ’em
Just ’cause you can’t beat ’em
Don’t mean you should join ’em

So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s something you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

Say what you think
Love who you love
‘Cause you just get
So many trips ’round the sun
Yeah, you only
Only live once

So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s what you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, I would
And follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

Songs of Sacrilege: Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin

Bruce Gerencser 1 Comment

janis joplin

This is the one hundred and thirty-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin.

Video Link

Lyrics

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

That’s it!

Songs of Sacrilege: Hey God by Bon Jovi

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

bon jovi

This is the one hundred and thirtieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Hey God by Bon Jovi.

Video Link

Lyrics

Hey God, I’m just a little man got a wife and family
But I almost lost the house
Yeah, I bought into the dream
We’re barely holdin’ on, when I’m in way to deep
We’re two paychecks away from living out on the streets

She’s a workin’ single mom, like a Saint she doesn’t complain
She never says a word, but she thinks that she’s to blame
Her son just got convicted, he blew some punk away
She did her best to raise him, but the world got in the way

Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shits gone
It keeps on getting harder hanging on
Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
These days you’ve even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
Do you ever think about me

Born into the ghetto in 1991, just a happy child
Playing beneath the summer sun
A vacant lots’ his playground, by 12 he’s got a gun
The odds are bet against him, junior don’t make 21

Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shits gone
It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
These days you’ve even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…

I’d get down on my knees
I’m going to try this thing you way
Seen a dying man too proud to beg spit on his own grave
Was he too gone to save?
Did you even know his name?
Are you the one to blame, I got something to say

Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shits gone
It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
These days you’ve even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
Do you ever think about me

Bruce Gerencser