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Tag: The Axis of Awesome

Songs of Sacrilege: WWJD by The Axis of Awesome

the axis of awesome

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is WWJD by The Axis of Awesome.

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Life isn’t always easy
It isn’t always fun
When you lose direction
Your world can come undone
When you’re in need of guidance
and help is overdue
you may ask yourself this question
What Would Jesus Do?

If he were at a party
and the host ran out of wine
He’d make some more with magic
And bring on back good times

But in this situation
you couldn’t see it through
He’s the son of god
And he shits all over you

You can’t do, what Jesus can do
You’re the king of nothing
And he’s the king of Jews
He knows every magic trick
You only only know a few
Don’t even bother asking
What Would Jesus Do?

Can you heal a leper or feed a crowd with fish and bread
Can you walk on water, Did you rise from the dead
Did you give your life up to save humans from bad luck
Were you born of Virgin birth or did your parents fuck

You can’t do what Jesus can do
He had 12 apostles
and no one follows you
When faced with a dilemma
Let logic guide you through
What kind of dickhead wonders
What Would Jesus Do?

When Jesus was betrayed and rob of all his trust
He used his laser vision to turn Judas into dust.
When Lois Lane was dying Jesus held her in his arms
He flew backwards round the world to keep her safe from harm.
When Jesus tours the country in his rock and roll band KISS
Thousands cheer his music, even though it’s hit and miss.

You can’t do what Jesus can do
Jesus shits all over you
There are three of him
There’s only one of you
And Jesus can fly
He can cure a blind man
You can’t cure the flu
You’re good at nothing
He’s a zombie wizard who also knows kung-fu

So next time you’re in trouble
Thinking, What Would Jesus Do?
Try not to forget
He’s a million, billion, trillion times better than you

God gave Rock ‘n Roll to you
Gave Rock ‘n Roll to you
Gave Rock ‘n Roll to everyone
God gave Rock ‘n Roll to you
Gave Rock ‘n Roll to you
Put it in the soul of everyone

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Bruce Gerencser