30 Ways TV Distorts Our View of the World

CSI Miami Eva LaRue

Eva LaRue, CSI Miami

I watch a lot of TV and it never ceases to amaze how often, even on basic stuff, TV programs either get it wrong or distort things. What follows is my Top 30 ways TV distorts our view of the world. Feel free to add to the list in the comment section.

  1. Everyone has sex standing up.
  2. Married people don’t have sex.
  3. If married people have sex, it isn’t fun or enjoyable and it last for 5 minutes.
  4. A man can drink all the alcohol he wants and still get an erection, have sex with three women and be ready to go again in 10 minutes.
  5. Prostitutes are always drop dead gorgeous with a degree in economics from Harvard.
  6. Policeman are crack shots who drop their suspect with one shot.
  7. Revolvers never run out of bullets, neither does any other firearm.
  8. Spraying a car with machine gun fire never hits the star (s) of the show.
  9. Drug dealers are black.
  10. Terrorists are brown.
  11. Rich people are white.
  12. The FBI, CIA, NSA, NCIS, and the Secret Service have instantaneous access to every bit of information about your life.
  13. The FBI, CIA, NSA, NCIS, and the Secret Service do not need a warrant to access every bit of information about your life.
  14. A 120 pound female police officer can always fight, take down, and restrain any and all men 2-3 times her size.
  15. News reports on minutia that makes viewers think the minutia is important.
  16. Reports on what is trending on Twitter, as if Twitter matters.
  17. Reports on what is trending on Facebook, as if Facebook matters.
  18. Sideline reporters asking football coaches touchy-feely questions, giving the impression coaches love to answer such questions.
  19. Sports reports that make the mundane, every day lives of athletes into larger than life stories that is breaking, must-see TV.
  20. Women should be blonde, thin, have big breasts,have perfectly straight white teeth, no acne, and perfectly manicured nails.
  21. Women in  crime laboratories are either geeks like Abby on NCIS or drop dead gorgeous wearing white, tight clothing like Natalia Boa Vista on CSI Miami. (see picture at top of post)
  22. Policeman, FBI agents, and NCIS operatives are expert drivers who can weave in and out of traffic in both directions at  100 mph.
  23. Men don’t have penises but women have breasts and vaginas and viewers only want to see breasts and vaginas.
  24. Everyone with Down Syndrome can read and graduate from high school.
  25. Every man in America has erectile dysfunction and needs Viagra.
  26. Whatever the United States makes or does is awesome and way more awesomer (yes I know it is not a word) than China, Russia, Mexico, and, well any other country that is not the United States.
  27. Iraq is better off today than it was under Saddam Hussein.
  28. American soldiers conduct themselves with the highest regard for human life and it is always our enemy that slaughters and commits war crimes.
  29. The news channels, with a straight face, say they report nothing but the news with no political spin. Fox News is fair and balanced, yes?
  30. On Fox News, Dick Cheney is an honorable man who has never made a mistake or lied. On MSNBC, George Bush is a dishonorable man who did nothing but make mistakes and lie. On CNN, wait is CNN still on? Al Jazeera? Why everyone knows they are owned by Muslims, right?

I better stop at 30. Do you have a few distortions you would like to add?

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7 Comments

  1. Steve

    31. Israel is a valuable US ally & we must agree with everything they do & give them billions in aid every year.

    Reply
  2. Sue Dibs

    32. Endless list of medical bull crap including defibrillaters being used when the heart stops, nurse’s boobs looking super awesome in scrubs, and everyone walking away from the patient as soon as his heart stops. Let’s see…adding an eensy amount of air to the patient’s IV tubing to murder them. Newly born babies having excellent head control. And the most common: no one ever washing their hands!

    Bruce, it is great to have you back. I’ve missed you! Many thanks to you for powering through. A gentle holiday chest bump to ya, SueDibs

    Reply
  3. exrelayman

    Not always TV, but sure fire for action movies: DON’T BE THE HERO’S BEST FRIEND – your harm or death motivates the peace loving hero into retaliation.

    Reply
  4. theObserver

    -> Everyone has straight shiny white teeth. Deliberately unattractive people are shown with extra weight, bad clothes and bad skin, but still with the white shiny teeth.

    ->An exercise program can transform your life and fulfil your potential.

    ->People in their 20’s can always afford large, well furnished, apartments.

    ->Vampires acquire martial art skills when they turn.

    ->Jennifer Anderson can actually act.

    -> All men are useless at household chores and need a women to help them.

    Ok, the last one might be true 🙂

    Reply
  5. Jada

    Women police detectives in 4-inch heels chasing down
    suspects – and catching them. Oy.

    Reply
  6. Paula

    This was the favorite TV myth of my late mother……everyone in America doesn’t decorate the Christmas tree until they get home from Christmas Eve church service. The house looks perfect and lovely while this last minute tree trimming is going on. There are no gigantic storage boxes waiting to be returned to the shed, no glitter or greenery bits scattered on the floor and tables. There is no need to vacuum after trimming. Everyone instead partakes of the refreshments that are waiting.

    Reply
  7. deano

    # Only a University trained expert, has the necessary qualifications to give opinions (theologians = good morals)

    # All astronomers agree life in the universe is possible, but deny any in Solar System because of speed of light travel

    # Archaeologists agree all these megalithic structures are built by locals,most AD (many without wheel or iron tools)

    # Psychologists push medications that dont work (the DSM actually “EXCLUDES” religious delusions,voice of god etc)

    # Politicians claim seperation of church & state (In God We Trust, God Bless America, court oaths on bibles?)

    # Only a Black Collar priest can Exorcise a demon (Holy water, Gregorian chants,crucifix the weapons)

    # Mentall ill = Lunatics= Werewolves = Satanists (Crescent moon is bad, Sun is light & good, it too can kill demons)

    # All UFO storys are ridiculed (que Twilight Zone or X-files music, or a tinfoil hat wearer)

    # Any suggestion of govt corruption……is thrown in the “Lunatic Conspiracy Theorist” box

    # Aetheism is automatically aligned to the work of the Devil (no belief in god= must be a satanist)

    # Priests are always the most upstanding member of the community (Black Collar Crimes indicates otherwise)

    # Good people swear OATHS (allegiance,truth, patriots, court bibles , etc) so do Secret-Societys hiding truths.

    These are just a few, but notice the pattern? Western society is based on Biblical values,morals, beliefs and many have shaped our very laws…..the military a perfect example. Why is there even military chaplains? Thou Shall Not Kill……( I bet that is never ‘preached” to soldiers), and if one is a Pacifist in war time, by LAW, you are thrown in jail as a conscientious dissenter, your Christian beliefs irrelevant!!!!
    We all know politicians LIE. They tell even bigger lies if Christian values, can block or oppose their new laws or ammendment changes. So do Christians, the gay welcoming movement is now fully endorsed….you are instantly labelled HOMOPHOBIC if you disagree……..the opposite is ISLAMAPHOBIA….Muslims=Terror,Terror,Terror. Both pushed by that “BOX” in your home, preaching Tell Lies & Visions……..God Bless Virgin-ian Mary-landers!

    The biggest LIE we have been told, is Nazi Hitler was an atheist Tyrant! He was a devout “——-“, he modelled the SS on the “———— order”, and in both WW1 & 2 , German soldiers had on their belt buckles “Gott mit uns” GOD WITH US……..we have all been decieved, and it continues daily.

    Reply

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