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What Does It Mean To Walk In The Light?

jesus night light

That’s what Fundamentalist Mike Ratliff, a writer for the Christian Research Network, asked in a  blog post.  Ratliff was trying to make a serious, spiritual point in his post, but my perverse, Satanically-influenced, reprobate mind quickly  answered the question in quite a different way. What follows is atheist pastor Bruce Gerencser’s answer to the question, what does it mean to walk in the light?

Walking in the light means:

  • Not tripping over the clothes I left on the floor
  • Not tripping over the cat snoozing on the floor
  • Not tripping over Polly’s shoes
  • Not banging my shin on the metal bed frame
  • Not running into the TV tray that Bethany said she would put away
  • Not stepping on the LEGO my granddaughter left on the floor
  • Not bumping into the dining room table and falling
  • Not stepping on the Matchbox car my grandson left on the living room floor
  • Not missing the step down into the kitchen
  • My neighbors can see my nakedness as I run to the bathroom
  • I won’t step in the barf present the cat left on the dining room floor

Do you think these are the answers Mike Ratliff was looking for?

We have six night lights on the first floor of our home. These lights are like Jesus, the Lighthouse, except they shine the way, not to heavenly bliss, but to the bathroom, kitchen, office, and living room.

121615

7 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Karen the rock whisperer

    Husband and I have running battles over night lights. He likes it really, REALLY, dark at night. I prefer not to have to feel my way to the bathroom, especially since my kitties also leave presents, and low light doesn’t bother me. We haven’t really resolved the issue.

    • Avatar
      Elaine Normandy

      Amazon has a four pack of battery operated, motion detecting LED lights ($28) which are great for people who like a dark room but need to get up in the middle of the night. I had an embarrassing fall last spring and the first thing my husband asked me after he picked me up off the floor is if he should install a night light. I snarled at him at first, but then said maybe a motion detecting one. He ordered them off of Amazon immediately.

  2. Avatar
    Geoff

    I’ve got a watch that lights up briefly when a button is pressed. Popping to the loo in the middle of the night is therefore no problem and, more importantly, doesn’t disturb SWMBO.

  3. Avatar
    scott

    You have both of what call my favorite questions for parents who have pets. Which would you rather step on at night a Lego or something that squishes between the toes?

    I’ve found the “Salt and Light” phrase drives me crazy. It’s one of those meaningless things due to over use, like the word “spiritual”.

    Scott

  4. Avatar
    Angiep

    When I lived in Hawaii years ago, our house had lots of cracks and crevices that allowed critters in. One night on my way to the kitchen for a drink, I flipped on the light and a gecko was startled from its perch (on the ceiling?) to fall directly onto my spaghetti-strapped shoulder. I think I barely was able to hold in a shriek. I never figured out whether it was better to take my chances with the lights off.

  5. Avatar
    Ami

    A flashlight. I cover mine with a red lens, it seems to wake me up less that way. I can’t go back to sleep if my brain wakes all the way up, I start worrying about everything instead.

    And Bruce, you’ve listed several more reasons that I will never have a cat. 🙂

Want to Respond to Bruce? Fire Away!

Bruce Gerencser