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One Million Moms Outraged Over Women Going Commando

cottonelle going commando

Repost from 2015-2016. Edited, updated, and corrected.

One Million Moms, the female outrage department of the American Family Association, are upset over a new Cottonelle ad that asks women to dare to go commando. Here’s what director Monica Cole’s press release had to say:

In Cottonelle’s newest advertising campaign “Dare to Go Commando,” a company spokeswoman asks individuals if they feel cleaner after using Cottonelle because of the ripple texture. The Cottonelle spokeswoman goes so far as to ask another woman if she feels clean enough to go commando now. The woman agrees and walks back into the restroom to return with her undies in a small shopping bag. The commercial ends with both women pulling down the waistbands of their pants just enough to reveal they don’t have panties on.

Cottonelle is encouraging consumers to go without underwear. Oh, please! This is ridiculous. This type of advertising is extremely inappropriate.

The tissue paper company also has a similar ad, “Go Cottonelle. Go Commando.” In this ad, the spokeswoman asks a man to go commando, and it ends the same way.

cottonelle promo photo
Cottonelle Promotion Photograph

Evidently, the women of One Million Moms want to hold on to their cotton Fruit of the Looms, and don’t want American women walking around sans underwear. They really should pay more attention. As a man who has seen plenty of female backside over the years, I can say that women have been going almost commando for years. These days, they can make dozens of pairs of underwear from a yard of material. I will leave it to female readers to decide whether going commando is more comfortable or appropriate. All I can say is that One Million Moms better not ask their husbands to support their effort. I’ve seen on the street Christian men, hand over one eye, carefully observing the female anatomy. I highly doubt they want to see the return of panty lines.

This is so silly, is it not? Of all the things one could be offended and outraged by, women not wearing underwear tops the list?


Bruce Gerencser, 65, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 44 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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    I snorted my diet Pepsi and thought this had to be from The Onion. I seriously thought you were joking. Alas, ’tis true.

    That will definitely destroy biblical family values and the entire fabric of society. For reals.

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    Wouldn’t it be great if 47,000 Moms would take all that outrage and put it towards something actually constructive like say, campaigning for better healthcare access for the poor, a living wage, etc?

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      Now you know there is no need of that! If all the liberal heathens became Christians and started running the country that way then everything would fall into place.

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    Heh, I’ll never tell. But it’s hilarious that these women have enough free time to worry about whether you’re wearing underwear or not. Sound like a very privileged life most of them lead, able to sit around playing internet games all day and likely ignoring their own kids while scolding others for the ‘wrong’ choices they make and lives they lead. Grow up, ‘moms.’

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    Whenever I see “family” in an organization’s name I mentally change it to “hate” and it is usually correct.
    This is about as absurd as me complaining that all the cats running around the house are naked.

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    A close relative worked in store display for years. Customers sometimes complained about the sight of naked plaster mannequins when the display staffers were changing the mannequins’ outfits. They wanted the mannequins to wear underwear.

    Mind you, they never complained about the amputation of mannequin limbs or the removal of their heads. It was all about the nakedness.

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    “Oh, please! This is ridiculous.” No, what is ridiculous is that she took this seriously!! Apparently they are worried that these “inappropriate ads” will give their innocent daughters bad ideas…and we all know that once the underwear falls off, sex is sure to follow….

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    Becky Wiren

    Way for Million Moms to obsess over something totally NON-important, while there are hungry and homeless children in this country. They don’t seem to care about THAT, do they?

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    Jamie Tipton

    C’mon!!! It’s a parody!!! Laugh a little… There’s more things to worry about than someone going ‘commando’ and showing an inch of hip skin!!! I would hate to see what they say about all the Victoria’s Secret commercials and the sexy, steamy cologne commercials!!! Jeeze! lol

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    Actually it is better for vaginal health to go underwearless. By wearing tight clothes, such as tights or panties, moisture is more likely to collect on the area close to the crotch. Allowing this to happen everyday can lead to imbalances causing yeast infections and bacterial vaginitus. I have a slew of hereditary gynecological problems that also make me more prone to these things. I wear loose pants with no panties year around. Doing this honestly really helps prevent problems. It is not shocking that million moms is so out of touch with such a basic thing about womens health.

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    Good grief. Go commando, don’t go commando. Just don’t mention it. (And no one knows what I am or am not wearing, because I usually wear jeans.) It’s certainly not a moral imperative either.

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    Most of women’s activewear is designed so that we can go commando if we choose. And seriously, what’s the big freaking deal? That women might actually have some agency in their lives? Say it ain’t so!

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    MJ Lisbeth

    Obstacle–One thing I’ve learned (having lived on “both sides”) is that the greatest threat to religious authority is women’s agency in their lives. Hence the obsession with whether or not we’re going commando.

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    Brian Vanderlip

    As far as I know, commando-types wear underwear. Is anybody in Full Metal Jacket not in underwear during their abuse/training? Not that I can see.
    I recommend going naked on a beach if you want to feel close to the earth and really feel the breeze from almighty nature. Or in a quiet field or forest. Just do it when mosquito season has passed!

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    One Million Moms had a cow earlier this summer when Cascade dishwasher detergent aired an ad that encourage people to do it every day. OMM interpreted the ad to mean that couples should have sex every day when Cascade meant that people should not be afraid to run their dishwasher every day. More recently, Dole Fruit Bowls has been airing ads where people are using fruit bowls as a euphemism. There’s the one older black couple whose grandkids have moved in saying that they’ve not had many fruit bowls lately. Then there’s the one with the two moms sitting together on the couch. Earlier in the ad they show a drawing that the kids have made with a rainbow. I can’t recall what they’re using fruit bowls as a euphemism for. And then there an ad for Bounce Wrinkle-Guard, iirc. An older couple come out of the closet or room all wrinkly and their grandson thinks they were having sex even though they weren’t; in a later scene, they come out with their clothes all smooth and with a knowing look on their faces. ASAIK, OMM has not uttered a peep about these ads when the double entendre is just as obvious.

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    Hasn’t One Million Mums turned out to be just one, rather sad, woman with a tiny following on
    Twitter? OMM should be renamed ‘One Meddling Mum’!

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    GeoffT, you’re not far off with OMM being one woman; the membership is really small, The ads about Fruit Bowls have been running since at least the beginning of summer and the OMM have just now noticed? If those damn commercials (oops, fruit bowl commercials) are so bad for kids, why has it taken the OMM three months to take action?

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      On Friendly Atheist, any mention of OMM is followed by their current Twitter count in parentheses. Last I checked, it was in the 4000 range. A running gag that always makes me .

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Bruce Gerencser