Warning! Snarkiness and sexual humor ahead.
Yesterday, I received the following passive-aggressive email from an Evangelical man:
Why would anyone devote so much time and space in their coversations, writings and blogs to a Jesus which didn’t exist as evangelicals claim and to a heaven and hell which were man made? Thinking Jesus is real and he lives rent free in your head. After reading your stuff it seems you’re not free at all – you traded one bondage for another.. Your writing makes you seem bitter and angry… not how I’d like to spend my last days. Ex-Christians are the worst of all people. But hey… go enjoy another double cheese burger… Cheers!
This man read one post about Donald Trump Bible (that’s revealing), along with several other pages. He did not read any of my autobiographical writing. Yet, in just a few minutes, he learned all he needs to know about my life. Evidently, this man’s Bible is missing Proverbs 18:13:
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
Should I explain to this man that I am neither angry or bitter? Nah, I have done this repeatedly. Right now, I am sick. I mean really, really sick. I am trying to hang on until Friday when I will have procedures done that will hopefully find why I am having abdominal pain, bleeding internally, and have no appetite. I have pretty much stopped eating, and I weigh less today than I did in 1991. So, with all this going on in my life, I really don’t have time to be angry/bitter with God — which deity? — or self-righteous, arrogant Evangelicals. If I survive this ordeal, maybe I will feel well enough to tell Jesus to piss off.
Should I explain to this man that my objection is to modern religious beliefs and practices, and not the man Jesus? Nah, I have done this repeatedly. Why would I bother with a man who has been dead for 2,000 years, or bother with a deity that is a myth? No, my issue is with humans who, in the name of Jesus/God/Christianity/the Bible, psychologically and physically harm other people; who attempt to use their religious beliefs to control others.
The only bondage I am into these days is BDSM. Silly, I know. But hey, if I am in “bondage” . . . let me try something new. Bring on the whips and nipple clips.
And then there is the double cheeseburger comment. Evangelicals just can’t leave my weight alone, can they? This man must be jealous that I have such a svelte, sexy body and he doesn’t. And he must know about the notion that if you lose a lot of weight (100#) your penis gets bigger. Move on over John Holmes, Santa takes over first place in the Big Dick Standings! For the record, I don’t eat double meat on anything (I’m not gay), and I never put cheese on my hamburgers. I mean, NEVER!
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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((((HUGS))))
Hold on there, Bruce, we need you. You’re a bright light in the lives of many, many people. Mr. Evangelical Jerk is probably a bright light in the life of no one.
I hope your gut heals enough that you can enjoy an occasional meal of the wonderful things your wife can create and share with you. Food can be a blessing from people who love us and make it for us, or who loved us in the past and taught us how to make it. Sharing it, teaching children and grandchildren the joy of it, is another blessing. May you have those blessings in abundance and share them in abundance. no deities required.
I’m sorry you’re suffering Bruce. I hope you find out what is causing this and that you are cured. We do need you! And once again, and Evangelical proves that he doesn’t have any love in his heart for someone who isn’t like him, a Christian.
Hope you get good news of Friday Bruce. You need to live long enough for one of us to convince you to try some cheese on your burgers. You’re missing out on one of the best combos this world has to offer there!
Davie is right, we are all rooting for you to find out what is wrong and get it fixed, so that you can enjoy Polly’s cooking again and be converted to the pleasures of BDSM…Burger Devoted to Sloppy Mayonnaise and cheese.
Dear Mr Evangelical Jerk, has anyone ever converted to your delusional faith and gone on to give testimony like ‘I got gloriously saved when I corresponded with a Mr Evangelical Jerk My eyes were opened and I saw that his gratuitous rudeness to me and his personal insults were wonderful and led me to jesus?’……I think not.
If I reconvert, Mr EJ, will I have to start pleasing your jesus by leaving snide comments on others’ personal blogs about their appearance?
An evangelical jerk keeping it classy as always……I am sure Jesus would have found it necessary to reach out to be heinous to others too…. honestly, I think most evangelicals are happy to dump Jesus and emulate Trump instead.
Bruce, I hope your medical team can figure out what’s wrong and get you back on track. We all need our favorite ex-pastor turned snarky atheist!
Lately I feel like rebuking these horrid humans that attack you with some old fashioned “get thee behind me satan” verbiage.
You are so appreciated by so many people on this journey. We hope you get some answers soon.
BTW, you look good in blue. Love the tie.
I have endured a lot of wild talk from you Gerencser but the idea that cheese be divorced from a burger, well, damn you, sir, damn you! (Hey, the new bio pic is great!)
Wishing you much relief in the coming days.
“Ex-Christians are the worst of all people.”
aka, “You know everything about us and thus can expose us for what we really are.”
I’m a “worst people” too, Presbyterian type 🙂
I wish you the best, Bruce. When it rains it pours.
I’m sorry to hear that you have to stop and deal with this health issue now, Bruce. And at the Holiday season at that ! Medical things demanding attention are always hard, don’t I know. I wish you a speedy recovery, my heart goes out to you and Polly in this time. Living ‘ rough’ as I do, I must delay surgeries. Not that I want to deal with those. It seems like there’s never a great time for it. We’ll all be thinking of you tomorrow. One thing, when the doctors say they want to put you on Ensure for post-op or for future tests, please ask if Glucerna or the sugar-free version of Ensure can be used. I had to find out the hard way about the corn syrup and transfats in the standard version. Makes blood sugar go nuts, among other problems. Just a thought.
All my best to you, Bruce, I hope your procedure is successful and you get some answers as to what’s going on.
I hope you feel better——and are better——soon.
Hope your procedures go well, Bruce.
Brice I echo everyone else. Take care. I can’t resist saying this though, lemon juice really helps my stomach and is fairly harmless. Perhaps some lemonade? Sarah