One evening years ago, Polly and I were having dinner at the home of my best friend, a fellow Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) preacher. Somehow, our conversation turned to the music we listened to when making love. I told him that Polly and I had one secular CD, The Carpenters, and we listened to it when rolling in the hay. My friend became quite alarmed over our choice of music. I asked him, “what do you listen to?” he piously responded, “we ONLY listen to hymns!”
Over the years, Polly and I have returned to this conversation, making fun of getting some afternoon delight or shagging to songs such as Victory in Jesus, Amazing Grace, What a Friend We Have in Jesus, and a host of other IFB-approved hymns.
I am sure to people outside of the IFB church movement that this kind of thinking seems insane. However, there is a principle behind it: you can’t have fun without Jesus and the Bible. IFB Christians live and breathe Jesus and the Bible. For them, Christianity is what you live twenty-four hours a day, eight days a week, including when you are having sex. Thus, Jesus is with you everywhere you go. Sex becomes a threesome, and Jesus is in the next lane to you at the bowling alley and using the locker next to you at the YMCA.
From 1983 to 1994, I pastored Somerset Baptist Church in Mt. Perry, Ohio. During my tenure there, I helped start a multi-church youth fellowship. At its height, the youth group had fifteen churches participating in its activities. Every few months, we would get together and have “fun” activities for church teenagers. Our church rented out a bowling alley, a roller skating rink, or held a lock-in at the Y. We wanted teens to know that, to quote Southern Baptist Evangelist Bob Harrington, “It’s FUN Being Saved!” (Please see Evangelist Bob Harrington: It’s Fun Being Saved.) This meant, of course, at every activity, we had to take break so one of the preachers attending could preach AT the attendees and then give an invitation. That was always the goal: saving sinners. The activity was always just a means to an end.
I remember the looks church teens would give me when we stopped their fun so they could hear yet another sermon. They already heard a sermon Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Thursday night. They heard even more sermons during the week while attending our Christian school. And then they heard me preach on Tuesdays and Thursdays while “helping” with street ministry. On youth fellowship nights they gave me that disappointed look that said, “preacher, can’t we have just one night without Jesus and the Bible?” Of course, they knew without asking that the answer was no. So they dutifully gathered in the corner of the bowling alley and skating rink and pretended to care about what the blathering preacher in front of them was saying.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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I remember thinking reading fiction was wrong. Fortunately, that didn’t last. And reading fiction probably helped lead me away from Christianity, as I was exposed to different ideas and religious thought.
Nobody told me that I was not supposed to read fiction. If they had told me that I would probably have continued reading anyway.
I did read some Christian fiction, but it wasn’t very good.
I went to a liberal non-crazy church, and I recall one time the youth group had a roller skating outing. A special sign was posted for us that said “So-and-so Lutheran church youth group”. As some of our party was entering, the youth group director heard someone say something to the effect of how boring and straight laced that group would be. And she and the rest of us had to chuckle, we were just kids having fun and yes sometimes we did actually misbehave a bit. It was church sponsored so a brief prayer or benediction might be in order, but other than that nothing to spoil the fun.
See, now I can’t stop thinking about hymns whose titles would go along with those sorts of activities.
Be Thou My Vision
(Oh, Honey) How Great Thou Art
Blessed Assurance
Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing
Jesus, Thank You
Come, Ye Thankful People, Come
Have Thine Own Way, Lord
I Need Thee Every Hour
I’ve Found A Friend, O Such A Friend!
Now Thank We All Our God
O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go
Softly and Tenderly
…and my favorite: There Is A Fountain
Michael Mock, I used to crack up whenever our Southern Baptist Church congregation sang “He Touched Me” by the Gaithers…….