What follows is my response to a comment left by Dr. David Tee, whose real name is Derrick Thomas Thiessen, on the post titled Life with My Fundamentalist Baptist Grandparents, John and Ann Tieken. If you have not read this post, I encourage you to do so. That will give you the context necessary to understand Thiessen’s comment. My response is indented and italicized.
What a waste.
Right off the bat, Thiessen gets personal. He’s not talking about the post. He’s talking about me personally. I am a waste (useless). Thiessen has spent the past two years repeatedly making this claim with a variety of word choices. Regardless of the words he uses, Thiessen wants me to know that he views me as a useless, worthless human being. His goal in doing so is to cause psychological harm. Not to reach me, evangelize me, help me, but to ruin and destroy me. That he has been unable to so only fuels his continued assaults.
You do nothing but spread hatred towards people no one but you and your family have met. This is a travesty for several reasons.
The title of this blog is The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser: One Man’s Journey From Eternity to Here. This blog has always been autobiographical in nature; a place where I give a first-person account of my life. I am a writer and a storyteller, it’s what I do. People are free to love or hate my work. Thiessen, by his own volition, continues to read this site, even after promising never to do so again.
I have every right to tell my story, as I see it. Where my story intersects with other people, I am going to mention them by name, especially when they played an instrumental part in my life. I own every word I write. My grandparents, John and Ann Tieken materially affected my life, my mother’s life, my siblings’ lives, and Polly’s life. Fortunately, my children do not know or remember their great-grandparents. John and Ann caused horrific harm, and the only way I know to hold them accountable is to write about them. Scores of Evangelicals who attended church with John and Ann think they were wonderful people. And they were — to them. However, both of them had a dark, evil side, one that I know firsthand. All I know to do is tell my story. I will leave it to others to decide whether my words ring true. I know my words are truthful, but I can’t force people to see their truthiness. I suspect there are people who went to church with John and Ann who simply will not believe that I am telling the truth. There’s nothing I can do about that.
#1. it is only one side of the story
Yes, mine. This is an autobiographical blog. I write in the first person.
#2. the people you talk about can’t defend themselves
Correct, most of them are dead. Is Thiessen saying we can’t write about anyone who is dead? Would that include Jesus?
#3. the people you talk about do not know you are talking about them
Of course not, they are dead. My aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins know I am “talking” about them, and as of today, not one of them has objected to this post. I have heard that my Evangelical uncle wants to talk to me about the importance of “forgiveness,” but I suspect that discussion will never happen. I haven’t spoken to him in almost 20 years. Among Christian family members, my atheism is a family scandal no one wants to talk about. We can add atheism to rape, child molestation, violence, and psychological manipulation to the list of things we don’t talk about. How ”bout them Cowboys?
#4. it is full of look at me, I am a victim attitude.
Unlike Thiessen who uses plurals when speaking of himself, I write in the first person singular — you know, the way we were taught to write in school.
As far as me having a “victim attitude,” I am a victim. It took over a decade of counseling for me to finally admit that I was a victim; that I have had a lot of trauma in my life. I always thought that victim and trauma were words to describe others, not me. Finally admitting that these words apply to me has made a big difference in my life; allowing me to deal with some awful things that have happened in my life (some of which I have not shared with readers, or my wife for that matter).
It is just narcissism at its best. ‘Oh I am a victim, woe is me’ and all you are trying to do is glean sympathy from people. No one cares about ‘your story’ as it is textbook neurosis and only you are perfect in it.
Thiessen’s hostility is at a fever pitch now. His goal is to belittle and wound. He has failed on both counts.
Is writing about my life cathartic? Absolutely. Do I write to gain sympathy from others? No. Do I appreciate it when people express love and kindness toward me? Yes. I also find it gratifying that some people find my writing helpful, including people who have suffered trauma in their lives. When I write about chronic illness and chronic pain, people who are suffering find my words constructive. The same can be said for ex-Evangelicals and ex-Independent Fundamentalist Baptists. They value my insight, my insider knowledge, and my willingness to honestly talk about my life as a pastor. How are any of these wrong?
You are not helping anyone because you keep them in the same attitude you have hatred towards others and you never solve any problems. You just help people sin more.
Let me see if I can sum up what Thiessen is saying:
I am not helping anyone.
I never solve any problems.
I encourage people to hate people who harmed them.
I just help people sin.
Thiessen, of course, provides no evidence for his claims. I suspect he will search in vain for someone who would say I encouraged them to hate people who harmed them or I helped them “sin.”
As far as “solving problems,” It is not my job to solve anyone’s problems but my own. I am more than happy to help in any way I can, but each of us must solve our own problems or seek out professionals who can help us.
Thiessen loves to assert that I don’t “help” anyone. I will leave it to others to say whether I helped them. I do know that thousands of people read this blog, and I do know that people say I helped them, as evidenced by the countless emails and social media messages I have received over the years.
Thiessen operates a blog that virtually no one reads. Thiessen populates his site with my content and Ben Berwick’s content. He writes very little original content. Perhaps Thiessen would like to share how many people he has actually helped in the past year? How many emails has he received from readers asking for his help? Thiessen says God reads his blog, but the Big Kahuna has never left a comment or sent him an email. No, what’s going on here is envy and jealousy. Thiessen can’t for the life of him figure out why people love my writing, but don’t love his. He can’t figure out why people comment on my posts, but not his. Why does Bruce, the Atheist get all the attention and Derrick, the Fundamentalist gets none? Let me tell Thiessen why that is. Derrick, read your comments. Read your previous posts about me. Read the vicious, nasty emails you sent me. In your own words, you will see the reasons why people don’t like you. God doesn’t even like you, and he likes all sorts of assholes. Want to change that? Stop being a judgmental prick; an asshole; a hateful, mean-spirited person. In other words, Derrick, repent!
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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I read the original post and didn’t really check the comments until after everything had died down. All I can say is that everything that happened was tragic and Derrick is an asshole about it. As far as humans being concerned, it seems like many people, especially in churches, fake it until they make it, hide the dysfunction behind the curtain with the wizard. Derrick’s comment was disgusting and props to you for being much more gracious about it. As for your blog, I have found your writing extremely helpful so keep up the good work.
Yeah, imagine if I wasn’t seeing a therapist every week. I’m in an okay place psychologically, but what if I wasn’t? Tee’s words could have caused untold harm, even death. Fortunately, Polly was nearby when his comment came in. I read it to her, which elicited a long string of swear words from my sweet, quiet, mild-mannered wife. It was helpful to me hear her response. Tee was quickly dispatched to the septic tank from whence he came. And then I took a shit and flushed the toilet. 🤪
Derrick, I know you’re reading this. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your hateful, bigoted, vile words cannot hurt me. I’m a better man than you ever will be. My good works speak for themselves.
Trenton, I’m glad I could help you. I appreciate your love and support. ❤️😢
He failed to answer a question I have… why does he think he’s the arbiter of what’s supposed to appear on YOUR blog? What a shitbag this guy is. Seriously.
Exactly. He’s free to write ✍️ anything he wants on his blog, as am I on this blog. I know Tee lives in a basement somewhere in the Philippines, but here in the United States we have freedom of expression. I write what I do because I can. If Tee doesn’t like it, he’s free to attack me on his own blog — which he already does on a regular basis. I endure his bullshit because I have no other recourse except responding to him on this site. And so the world turns.
I plan to publish a post soon titled, “Who is Dr. David Tee?” Tee continues to call me a liar. I will provide evidence for the allegations I’ve raised against, defending myself and others who have exposed him. When done, his tiny duck 🦆🤣 will be hanging out his fly for everyone to see.
This Dr T is so tiresome. Hope he gets scared away from clogging your blog, Bruce. (You did mention flushing.)
Ben Berwick’s post on this subject:
https://meerkatmusings.co.uk/criticism-of-the-dead/
Derrick is wrong. You, Bruce, have helped many people.
Comment deleted. No further comments will be approved.
You were approving comments before this? You didn’t even approve a sanative post that you asked me to make publicly, one that gave you a greater benefit of the doubt than I felt you deserved, but was still the truth, not a collection of lies that you could present as a complete exculpation of the past 30 years of your life.
That’s my note. I deleted his comment, another nasty screed.
Sorry about the confusion.
Derrick, I was unclear on this particular point, and therefore misspoke. I apologize for my excoriation of you on this specific matter.
There. I’m perfectly capable of admitting to a mistake. That just leaves about half a dozen (or so) other items on which I’m waiting for you to set me straight so I can apologize for misrepresenting them – just as soon as you clarify what, specifically, was misrepresented.
(Seriously, thank you for the additional information, Bruce.)
I’ve deleted a lot of his comments over the years. Unproductive, nasty stuff. Derrick has never said a kind word about me.
Ben told me last year that he believed that Derrick was a good man with bad beliefs. I never believed that, and I suspect Ben doesn’t either. Attempts to meaningfully engage him have failed each and every time. His rigid Fundamentalism precludes him from seeing any other way but his own. I understand his thinking. I used to think the same way.
It’s precisely because of folks like Thiessen that people like me and Bruce (and, I’m sure, others who’ve commented) don’t talk about being sexually traumatized until decades after the experience–or ever.
Derrick thinks you cause people to sin. Interesting. It looks to me like he is guilty of spouting vitriol at you and Ben. Isn’t that a sin, a sin he is willfully choosing to commit?
Kinda wondering how much of his (Tee’s) reaction is fear: what truths are people going to reveal about him after he has passed?
“This is not what I said and you know that. Twisting my words by reading into them what you want them to say is wrong. You are misinforming your readers and saying things I did not say. I do not have to read the rest of what you wrote to know you did the same thing throughout.”
The rest of the self-justification was deleted. No further comments will be approved.
That didn’t take long. Derrick, if I remember correctly, I posted a comment on this blog somewhere saying to stick to your own lane and leave the rest of us alone. Clearly your reading comprehension needs some work as you have continually ignored it. You also posted it on your own blog as an example of what terrible reprobates several of Bruce’s readers were. Again, stick to your own stuff and leave us to go to hell in peace.
My, my, Derrick, let me chuck a Warhammer quote here: “Repent, for tomorrow you die.” Who knows what would happen on the next day, even this one? Try to be a more upright and compassionate person with every breath of your life, because death is only one accident away. I say this as a survivor.
Bruce, I can only speak for myself, but I’m sure others on this site would agree-Despite what this bible thug says, you have helped me in so many ways, with your story and your blog. It helps those of us dealing with trauma surrounding religion and other types of traumas, not feel so alone. It has also given me courage to face and confront things that happened in the past instead of shoving them down and pretending they don’t exist. Don’t worry about this guilt-ridden stalker. He doesn’t know shit from shinola and has a Bruce fetish bordering on criminal behavior.
DT-there is no such thing as sin, but if it were a real thing, you’d win the “Sinner of the Year” award from Time Magazine.
Bruce, you make a difference in the lives of many through your words here. I’ve read your blog, off and on, since at least several website changes (I don’t remember exactly how long)… I remember you were among the first persons to clue me in on abuse, all those years ago.
I really would like to deck a certain person but its wrong and no doubt he’d spin it further into his conservative Christian persecution complex. You’re a better human than he will ever be.
Rev Ray Micheal an Ohio minister who followed a similar path of disillusionment as yours. A dear friend whom I miss everyday often criticized my embrace of “original sin” but we agreed that worshiping a book whilst standing in a library was seemingly foolish. My beef with “atheists” is that they always want to explain to me why “my God” can’t be real but to their credit it is hard to explain nothing. Good luck on the rest of your journey and though irritating how truly mean some humans are the irritation can motivate. I find much nourishment in your thoughts.
Atheists cannot go to Hell, so they can just live here with the rest of us.