Quiverfull: Why My Wife and I Had Six Children

My partner and I will celebrate forty-seven years of wedded bliss in July. We dated for two years before we married. This gave us a lot of time to talk about our “future.” Polly was nineteen and I was twenty-one when we married. Immature, naive, and inexperienced, we had grand plans for our lives. We planned to have two children, a boy named Jason and a girl named Bethany. We had no plans to have more than two children.

After having three boys in quick succession, we decided three children was enough. For almost five years, we were content to be a family of five. In the late 1980s, I discarded the theology of my Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) upbringing and embraced Evangelical Calvinism. As a Calvinist, I believed God was sovereign over all things and controlled who was born and who died. The Bible says:

Do I open the womb and not deliver the baby? Do I, the One who delivers babies, shut the womb? (Isaiah 66:9)

As a Calvinist, I believed God opened and closed the womb. No woman became pregnant unless God permitted it. We might call some pregnancies “unplanned,” but every pregnancy — even those that ended in a miscarriage or an abortion — was according to God’s purpose and plan. No woman became pregnant and had a baby apart from the sovereign will of God. In 1 Samuel 1, we find the story of Hannah. The Bible says Hannah was barren. God had closed her womb. Hannah spent years begging God to open her womb. Finally, God opened her womb, and Samuel was born. Hannah would later have more children. (1 Samuel 1,2) So it was for every woman.

As Polly and I immersed ourselves in Calvinistic theology, we stumbled upon the Quiverfull movement. Psalm 127:3-5:

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them [children]: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Wikipedia has this to say about the Quiverfull movement:

Quiverfull is a Christian theological position that sees large families as a blessing from God. It encourages procreation, abstaining from all forms of birth control, natural family planning, and sterilization reversal. The movement derives its name from Psalm 127:3–5, where many children are metaphorically referred to as the arrows in a full quiver. Some sources have referred to the Quiverfull position as providentialism,while other sources have simply referred to it as a manifestation of natalism.

As Calvinists, we believed God opened and closed Polly’s womb; that we would have exactly as many children as planned by God. Using birth control was a sin; an attempt to circumvent the will of God. Five years after Polly gave birth to our third son, Jaime, she became pregnant again, two months after we stopped using birth control. We put Polly’s fertility in the hands of God. We quickly learned that Polly was a “fertile myrtle.” Over the next four years, Polly had three more children, two redheaded girls (one with Down syndrome) and one boy.

Polly’s sixth pregnancy was difficult, so much so that the obstetrician told her that she shouldn’t have any more children. This, of course, was problematic for us. The risk to Polly’s health and life was real, but God opened and closed her womb. Shouldn’t we follow God’s will, we told ourselves, trusting God to protect Polly if she got pregnant again? Wouldn’t using birth control be a betrayal of God’s sovereignty? If everything was in God’s hands, how dare we circumvent his will for our lives, we fearfully said to ourselves.

Eventually, we decided to follow the doctor’s advice. No more unprotected intercourse. No more trusting God to open and close Polly’s womb. Reason and common sense told us that six children was enough, and with that, Polly had a tubal ligation, permanently killing the proverbial rabbit.

Afterward, we struggled with this decision, thinking that we had failed God by not implicitly trusting him to order the size of our family. If only we had more faith, we thought. Would God punish us for not obeying him? For the longest time, we wondered if we were doing the right thing. Finally, we decided — God’s will or not — that we didn’t want any more children. And with that, we collected all our quiverfull books and donated them to Goodwill.

I’m sure some of our Calvinistic friends saw us as failures. How dare we put our will above God’s? Some of our friends had eight to twelve children. I have no doubt that had we continued having unprotected sex, we would have had ten or more children; that is if Polly didn’t die in childbirth. The responsible thing for us to do was not have any more children, regardless of what we thought that voice in our heads was telling us.

Do we regret having six children? Absolutely not. That said, if we had it to do all over again, would we have six children? No. Life was hard, and trying to raise a large family on poverty wages was difficult, to say the least. We survived, but having a smaller family would have made things easier for us. Such is life. You can’t redo and relive the past. All any of us can do is learn from the past and try to do better.

Were you part of the Quiverfull Movement? Please share your experiences in the comment section.

Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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