Years ago, I pastored an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church in southeast Ohio. Nestled in the hills of the Appalachia mountain range, the church ministered primarily to the working poor. The eleven years I spent at Somerset Baptist were revelatory as I learned through on-the-job training to do the work of the ministry.
I pastored all sorts of people. One such man was a transplant from a nearby IFB church. Greg was looking for a church that preached the perfect Word of God; a church that aggressively won souls for Christ. Recently married, Greg thought Somerset Baptist was a perfect fit for him and his new family.
Greg died a couple of years ago. Prior to that, he and I had a back-and-forth interaction which culminated in me writing a post titled, Dear Greg.
Greg and I spent a lot of time together, both socially and professionally. I genuinely enjoyed his company. We would play basketball outdoors and I would help him fix his car. A mechanic, Greg was not. One time, he accidentally drained the oil from his manual transmission, putting five extra quarts of oil in the motor. He then jumped in the car and drove to the church ten miles away to go soulwinning with me. Needless to say, his transmission and motor were smoking by the time he pulled into the church parking lot. Fortunately, Greg didn’t ruin the power train of his car. I helped him get the fluids where they belonged. We had a shared memory I never forgot. Funny, in retrospect, but a mistake that could have cost Greg thousands of dollars.
Greg was one church member I could count on to show up for visitation or soulwinning. Greg also preached, taught Sunday School, and worked in the bus ministry. He and his family attended church every time the doors were open. (He eventually left because he found out I was a Calvinist — an unpardonable sin, in his mind.)
While most people, including myself, thought Greg was eccentric, the real issue was undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). This resulted in Greg having deep, dark psychological struggles. We would talk about these struggles, but I was not much help. I tried to support Greg and be his friend, but I knew nothing about OCD. Years later, I would understand much better after I was diagnosed with OCPD.
Greg struggled with his OCD, wondering if God was punishing him or Satan was tempting him. Such thinking was common in IFB churches. Blame must be assigned, and I suspect deep down Greg blamed himself. Isn’t that what we were taught?
Greg had a lot of upheaval in his life, from moving to job changes. I always tried to be there for him (and his dear wife), but I’m sure I could have done more if I had known and recognized the signs of OCD and tried to get Greg into therapy. Instead, I was adamantly against going outside of the church for help. God, the Bible, and the church were all any of us needed, the thinking went. Boy, was I wrong, causing harm to congregants with mental health challenges. And causing harm to myself by spiritualizing my own psychological struggles.
One time, Greg was looking for a new job. Previously, Greg had driven a bus for a local school district. He thought he would try his hand at driving again for a new school.
On the appointed day, Greg went to the school bus lot for an interview. While getting on a bus, Greg glanced down and was shocked by what he saw. What did he see? The word “Carpenter.” Huh? Let me explain.
Carpenter Body Works was a bus-building company in Mitchell, Indiana. They went out of business in 2001. You see, Greg’s last name was Carpenter, and his OCD brain was absolutely certain that this was a sign from God. How else could Greg explain the word “Carpenter” on the bus floor?
This settled the matter for Greg, and he accepted a driving job. Greg loved driving bus, but with a wife and children to provide for, the bus-driving job didn’t pay the bills. Greg later took a factory job. No further mention was made of the “sign from God.”
All these years later, I lament how my ignorance and lack of training hurt Greg. Unintentional, to be sure, but I wonder how much more peaceful his life might have been had I been more competent to help. That is, if Greg were willing to accept my help. Psychological problems were typically ignored or shoved under the proverbial church rug. I pastored scores of people with undiagnosed mental health problems. Sunday after Sunday they suffered as I told them Jesus and the Bible were all they needed to find love, peace, and happiness. This, of course, was a lie. It took me years to learn that the church was not the cure-all for what ailed us. By then countless hurting people came and went, going to the “world” to find people to help them. How could it be otherwise? Most Evangelical pastors are unqualified to counsel people about psychological problems. Greg certainly needed my friendship, but he needed a friend that understood his OCD, even if he refused to see and understand it for himself. Sadly IFB beliefs about sin and holiness only fueled Greg’s OCD. For him, minor, insignificant “sins” became full blown crises of faith, leading to extreme restlessness and suicidal thoughts. Greg deserved better than what Pastor Bruce and the church had to offer.
How did your church and pastor handle the mental health struggles of church members (or their own)? Please share your experiences in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Bruce, I think you possess two great virtues of character- insight and empathy. I struggle myself with who I was when vs who I am now. There is so much that I wish I could change, words I wish I didn’t say, or times I wished I had said something.
The more I reflect on these situations, however, the more I remember the actual time and circumstances. It wasn’t only the religion that was maybe more rigid back during the times you describe. Society was different too. There was no social media or internet. Information came through radio TV magazines or books. And that information was limited and often biased. Whoever we were at that time in many ways was due to the conditions of those times. I remember that mental health was little understood and even less valued by most folks in the working class. That wasn’t their fault. How were mental health issues portrayed by talk radio, television etc? Usually in a negative light, or in the case of you friend as an “eccentricity”, but nothing more. Very little sympathy was given to these issues from society at large, at least from what I recall of the 1980’s.
I think what you are doing now matters the most. Not only acknowledging who you were when but also helping others who are dealing with their own journeys from the past and present.
You make great observations here. We still have a mental health system which doesn’t adequately deal with mental illness. Bruce also makes important points about insignt and empathy, and what might have happened with more knowledge.
Thanks, John, I hear ya. ❤️❤️ I intellectually know and understand what you are saying, but I have a hard time shaking guilt — even when it is unwarranted. This is less of a problem for me these days, but guilt still lingers deep in my being. ❤️❤️
From what I understand, IFB doesn’t accept modern psychology, they think you can pray away your problem. I have OCD and depression and antidepressants mitigate my issues, along with therapy. I was raised to seek help and to trust in modern medicine and therapy. They do work. I wish Greg had been get the help he needed.
Definitely anti-psychology. I had several books in my library that “exposed” the evil 😈 of modern psychology. I don’t know of one Evangelical/IFB pastor who is qualified to provide professional therapy. I’m sure they exist, but I just don’t know any. Yet, most pastors provide such services, often offering horrible advice to mentally troubled people. This practice should be banned. Same goes for large churches that have counseling ministries staffed by counselors with degrees from Evangelical institutions.
I always used to wonder about the experiencing ‘a sign from god.’ I knew x-tians who ‘put out a fleece’ and/or ‘drew lots.’ Seemed to me very little different from those heathens they were shocked by, cos they might use tarot cards or consult a crystal ball etc. God was supposed to be omnipotent, yet, according to these believers, he used the silliest small happenings or coincidences to make them – like your Greg and his carpenter thing – believe in his majesty and awesome magnificance, using something as laughable, trivial and just plain farcical as they ‘sought his guidance.’!
Not sure why this went to moderation. Must have been a sign.🤣🤣❤️
Praying that maybe God will come to you on a dream and like the Scrooge story will take you back and show you all the people and churches you was involved with. And maybe even to the day Jesus died an horrible death!
And then show you what happened to those who choose to pay for their own sins…..
What if Greg was the last person you heard the gospel from????
What if this is the last opportunity in this comment?
You gave yourself away, 🍆. You said Greg may have been the last person to share the gospel with me. What have you been doing all this time? Not sharing the gospel, that’s for sure; though I doubt you actually know anything about the Christian gospel. Your vile behavior suggests that, at best, the gospel hasn’t made a lick 👅 of difference in your life. None.
Every one of the godless heathens who frequent this site is a better Christian than you. Yet, you feel no guilt over your behavior turning people away from Jesus. Besides, you are a liar and a fraud, using a VPN, fake names, and fake email addresses to avoid accountability.
Further, you violate the comment policy with impunity (look it up in the dictionary since you are developmentally disabled — apologies to my daughter with Down syndrome, putting her in a category with a Neanderthal like you) daily shitting on my doorstep and laughing about it; again showing you have no fear of God — a sure sign you aren’t a Christian.
You praying? Ha, surely you jest. You don’t pray. The skin on your knees is that of the sweet baby Jesus’s ass — soft, having never come in contact with the floor in prayer. No tears — unless in rage — shed for me and other sinners, revealing you have a hardened heart. Your behavior stands as an indictment against you. What will you say on judgement day when those turned away from Jesus by your disgusting, vile, rape/anal sex-filled comments point fingers at you, saying you were the reason for their unbelief? Saying you prayed the right prayer and believed the right things will not prevail. Read Matthew 25, 🍆, to learn what awaits you on judgement day.
I stand before you,🍆, and proclaim. as a true prophet of the most HIGH God, you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.
May you heed my words before it is eternally too late.
In the holy name of Cann-IBUS,
Bruce “Willy Nelson” Gerencser, the 4-20 Prophet of the most HIGH God