I’m Sorry Someone in the Church “Hurt” You

Apologist: Hi, sure is good to meet you.

Bruce: It’s good to meet you too.

Apologist: May I ask you a question?

Bruce: Fire away!

Apologist: Are you a Christian? Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

Bruce: I’m an atheist.

Apologist: Really? You don’t believe in God at ALL?

Bruce: Nope. I’m a card-carrying godless heathen.

Apologist: Did you ever go to church?

Bruce: Yes, I was an Evangelical Christian for fifty years. I was saved, baptized, and called to preach at age fifteen. I pastored Evangelical churches in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan for twenty-five years.

Apologist ponders what to say next.

Apologist: What happened?

Bruce: Nothing.

Apologist: Surely, something had to happen! I can’t imagine any reason someone would walk away from Jesus after fifty years.

Apologist: Did something happen in the church? Did someone “hurt” you?

Bruce: No, I . . .

Apologist: I apologize on behalf of whoever hurt you. I want you to know you are loved.

Bruce: Sorry to burn your atheist straw man to the ground, but no one hurt me.

Bruce: Any hurt from Christians came after I left Christianity. I quickly learned that Christian love and kindness only apply to people who believe the right things or go to the right church. Dare to speak out against Evangelical beliefs, and Evangelicals will rain judgment and violence upon your head — including death threats and never-ending threats of eternal punishment in Hell.

Bruce: Why would I ever want to be a Christian after being treated like this?

Apologist: Well, I doubt these people were “real” Christians.

Bruce: Really? This has happened thousands of times over the past twenty years. I’ve been misused, abused, and attacked by pastors, I’ve had evangelists, missionaries, and youth pastors. I had sermons preached about me, along with blog posts written to show me the error of my ways. One preacher, Dr. David Tee, has made it his life’s mission to discredit me with lies, half-truths, and personal attacks. He’s failed, but his ill-bred behavior continues to reveal the ugly, vicious underbelly of Evangelical Christianity.

Apologist: Well . . .

Bruce: I deconverted because I no longer believe the central claims of Christianity are true.

Apologist: Surely, there’s more to your story than this. What REALLY happened?

Bruce: Sigh . . .

Bruce: You got me. I’m a closet lesbian. I had an affair with the deacon’s wife, and one night, just for fun, I fucked the deacon too.

Apologist: I KNEW it! You need to repent!

Bruce: None of those things happened. I’m just jerking your chain. I suspect I was a better Christian than you before I deconverted. Shall we compare our lives?

Apologist: True Christians don’t leave the church. The Bible says . . .

Bruce: No need to quote the Bible. I know it better than you do.

Apologist: I’m praying for you.

Bruce: And I’m thinking for you.

Apologist shakes dust off his feet, and walks away mumbling a prayer, “I tried to tell him, Jesus. I commit his soul to your hands.”

I’ve had this conversation with countless apologists over the years. None of them has succeeded in leading me to saving faith in Christ.

Apologists cannot accept or understand my story. In their minds, true Christians stay true to Christ until the end. Since I “quit,” this proves I never was a real Christian. Never mind the fifty years I spent in Evangelicalism. Never mind my love for Jesus and my devotion to the work of ministry. All that matters is that I didn’t renew my club membership; that I walked away from Jesus.

I find this kind of discussion wearying. Apologists have an agenda, whereas I just want to tell my story and have a thoughtful conversation.

When apologists reject my story, what they are saying is this: “Bruce, you are a liar.” Apologists will not call me a liar to my face, but their approach to me clearly shows they think I’m lying. And I don’t know about you, but I have no use for people who say I’m lying. Especially when they provide no evidence for their claim.

Has a Christian apologist ever called you a liar or implied as much? How did you respond to them? Please leave your pithy thoughts in the comment section.