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Black Collar Crime: Southern Baptist Youth Leader Courtney Bingham Sentenced to Twelve Years in Prison for Rape

courtney bingham

The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.

In 2020, Courtney Bingham, a youth leader at Bethany Baptist Church in Loudon, Tennessee, pleaded guilty to four counts of aggravated statutory rape and one count of solicitation of a minor to commit statutory rape by an authority figure. She was sentenced to twelve years in prison.

The News-Herald reported at the time:

Courtney Michelle Bingham, 36, pleaded guilty in Loudon County Criminal Court to four counts of aggravated statutory rape and one count of solicitation of a minor to commit statutory rape by an authority figure stemming from her arrest in December 2018.

According to a news release from Russell Johnson, 9th Judicial District attorney general, Bingham will serve a 12-year sentence in Tennessee Department of Corrections custody at a minimum of 35 percent before she is eligible for parole. She will also be on the sex offender registry for life and subject to monitoring, including internet activities.

As part of the agreement, Bingham admitted having sex with the minor on at least four occasions. She said she knew he was a minor, and that she was at least 10 years older. In addition, she admitted she was in a “position of trust” as a youth leader when she “solicited him for sex via digital communication,” according to the release.

“This case has generated tremendous community interest because of the nature of the charges and the fact that it has caused considerable ‘disruption’ at the suspect’s and victim’s church,” Johnson said in a release. “We are glad to get this resolved with the defendant admitting her wrongdoing. Hopefully, this outcome will serve as a cautionary tale for others who are tempted to find themselves in similar situations. Part of the reason for pressing this case to trial, which resulted in what I consider to be a significant result for the state, was the difference in ages between the defendant and victim, the defendant’s position of trust in the church and her prior multiple felony criminal history.”

A report from then Loudon County Sheriff’s Office Sgt. Jason Smith, who is now with Lenoir City Police Department, noted Bingham met the teen at church. The boy claimed they had sex at her residence.

The teen noted he had multiple pornographic images from Bingham on his phone that were sent from her. Most appeared to have been taken by Bingham, according to Smith’s report.

“It took some time to complete the investigation, the analysis of the victim’s phone, interviews, looking at church records relative to Bingham’s ‘supervisory’ position with any of the youth, etc.,” Russell said Monday morning. “Then she was indicted on 32 counts, some of which were alternative counts. We had tried, unsuccessfully, to resolve it at General Sessions Court on the single charge on which she was arrested. Therefore she was indicted on the 32 separate counts at grand jury. The case was finally resolved on five felony counts of the 32.”

Bingham was scheduled for trial Tuesday but accepted the plea before Criminal Court Judge Jeffrey Wicks.

After her conviction, Bingham was investigated for forgery. No outcome is available at this time.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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UPDATED: Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Pastor Antonio Jones Sentenced to Four Years in Prison for Sexual Battery

pastor antonio jones

The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.

In 2017, Antonio Jones, pastor of Kingdom Harvest Church International in Roanoke, Virginia, was arrested and charged with aggravated sexual battery against two juveniles. The Roanoke Times reported at the time:

Antonio Jones, 47, was arrested March 17. Jones, who has no middle name listed, was released on bond Tuesday.

Jones is listed as founder of Kingdom Harvest Church International in northwest Roanoke on the church’s Facebook page, which describes Kingdom Harvest as “a multi-cultural, non-denominational church” with more than 150 members.

A call to the church Thursday afternoon was not returned, and no one answered the door there.

According to Roanoke Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court records, the offenses are alleged to have occurred against the first subject sometime between 2008 and 2010, when the juvenile would have been younger than 13.

Jones also is accused of committing indecent liberties against that subject.

The second case is alleged to have occurred between 2009 and 2011, involving someone in their early teens.

According to WDBJ-7, the church stood by their man:

A Roanoke pastor is out of jail and has the full support of his church.

Antonio Jones was arrested and charged with sexual misconduct against underage family members. Those claims date back to 2008.

Jones was released after posting a $5,000 bond on Tuesday.

On Wednesday night, several members of Jones’ church told us they were shocked at the charges.

Antonio Jones founded Kingdom Harvest Church International in 2007, according to the church Facebook page.

This story has gotten traction online with a number of members coming to Jones’ defense, calling him a “Man of God” and saying the Kingdom Harvest church family will get through this. The church posted a status earlier today which read, “UNITED WE STAND”

One member, who didn’t wish to be identified or shown on camera told WDBJ7, “This is church business that we doing here and the case is going to be city and court business. All we have to do is wait for the trial to end and other than that he hasn’t been convicted, it’s a trial.”

The Roanoke Times later reported:

A Roanoke pastor accused of sexually assaulting two juveniles saw the charges against him certified on Friday, and the case will now go before a grand jury.
Antonio Jones, 48, was arrested March 17 and is charged with two counts of aggravated sexual battery and one count of committing indecent liberties.
At a preliminary hearing on Friday, both of his accusers gave testimony outlining their claims against him. The Roanoke Times does not identify people who report sexual assaults.

The offenses are alleged to have occurred separately between 2008 and 2011, when the first subject was about 12 years old and the second was a young teen. The two complainants know each other but said they did not tell anyone about their allegations for several years until they decided to speak to police in the summer and fall of 2016.
Jones and his defense attorney, Jonathan Kurtin, did not present any evidence at the hearing. In cross-examining the two witnesses, Kurtin pressed them for additional details and time frames, but they often said they were unable to be more specific.
Roanoke Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Judge Frank Rogers heard testimony from the two complainants for about an hour before deciding he found probable cause to certify all three charges. The cases will now be evaluated by a grand jury, likely in October.

In 2018, Jones was found guilty of his crimes and sentenced to four years in prison.

WDJB-7 reported at the time:

Jurors have recommended four years in prison as punishment for a Roanoke pastor, who was found guilty of aggravated sexual battery following a multi-day trial this week.

Antonio Jones, the founder and pastor of Kingdom Harvest Church International in Roanoke, was arrested March 17 and charged with two counts of aggravated sexual battery and one count of taking indecent liberties with a minor.

In court Wednesday morning, prosecutors recommended five to 10 years in prison, while Jones’ defense attorneys recommended one to five years. The maximum sentence Jones could have received for his conviction would have been 20 years in prison with a $100,000 fine.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Another Day, Another School Massacre

mass shootings us

The latest school massacre took place yesterday in Lansing, Michigan — ninety miles from our home. This was the sixty-seventh mass shooting in the United States since January 1, 2023. A man opened fire at Michigan State University, killing three students and critically wounding five others. I wept as I watched news coverage of the massacre, but my sorrow quickly turned to anger. I knew that before the sun rose on a new day, several things would happen:

  • Democrats will call for stricter gun control laws.
  • Republicans will say now is not the time to talk about stricter gun control laws.
  • Tough-on-crime politicians will call for increased police funding and stricter school security measures
  • The NRA will decry the shooting, but reject any and all calls for gun control reform.
  • Gun-toting Evangelical Christians will flood social media with “thoughts and prayers” comments.

What do we know about school shootings? Is there a pattern or some sort of common denominator? You bet there is. Let me list a few of them:

  • The shooters are overwhelmingly young, white male students. Many of them come from dysfunctional homes.
  • Many of the shooters have mental health problems, often untreated.
  • The shooters were either bullied or viewed as social outcasts, not fitting into the cliques that dominate school life.
  • The shooters used the Internet to access materials that helped them plan the shootings.
  • The shooters used the Internet to research past shootings, often finding inspiration from the carnage perpetrated by other shooters.
  • The weapon of choice is the AR-15 or similar types of fast-firing, high-capacity firearms.
  • Most shooters used large-capacity clips for their weapons of choice.
  • Most shooters had large amounts of ammunition on hand.

Now, after reading this list, is there anything that our government leaders can do to put an end to the violence? Yes, there is, but unfortunately, thanks to the NRA and a number of congressional Republicans, what should be done will be ignored. These cowards will, instead, call for armed school guards and extensive school security. Some of these NRA-fearing men and women will even call for the arming of school teachers and custodial staff. After all, what better way to put an end to school shootings than add more guns to the equation, right? What could possibly go wrong?

The NRA — a Chihuahua-sized group with a Rottweiler bark — and its lackeys will remind Americans that the Second Amendment is sacrosanct, suggesting that gun ownership without restriction is a sacred right that must never, ever be infringed upon. Democrats will point at Republicans, blaming them for doing nothing about school gun violence. They will rightly point out that a Republican-controlled Congress passed legislation that made it easier for people with mental illness to purchase firearms. What these self-righteous liberals forget is that Democrat Barack Obama inhabited 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for eight years, and in his time there nothing was done to meaningfully combat school shootings. So, please stop with the political finger-pointing. Both parties are neck-deep in the blood of school children, and they should be ashamed of themselves for their paralytic inaction.

I grew up in a home where shooting firearms were very much a part of life. My dad was a police reservist, and my brother was the Marshal of Tombstone, Arizona, for many years, and also a detective. I started shooting guns and hunting while I was still in elementary school. I bought my first gun — a bolt-action Mossburg .410 with a modified choke — at the age of twelve. I, at one time, owned numerous shotguns, high-powered rifles, and a smattering of handguns. When I was a young man, my dad owned a gun store in Sierra Vista, Arizona. I worked in the store from time to time, and on weekends I would accompany my dad as he set up tables at area gun shows. Dad’s store gave me access to a plethora of firearms to shoot, everything from a .458 Winchester Magnum to a .22K Hornet. I enjoyed hunting and target shooting with my dad, one of the few things we did together.

I wrote the above so that unaware readers would know that I am not some Commie liberal out to take away everyone’s gun. I do not currently own any firearms. That said, I don’t look down my nose at people who own guns, nor do I think they are to blame for school shootings. Solving gun violence in schools requires political courage and moral certitude. It requires our rulers to act in the best interest of the people, and not the interests of the NRA, Winchester, Remington, Smith and Wesson, or Glock.

So what can be done?

First, universal background checks must be strictly enforced, and connected to a nationwide database. Gun purchasers should be screened for prior convictions of violent crimes, especially domestic violence. Gun purchasers should be screened for mental health issues. Mental health providers should be required to flag patients with mental health issues that make them a danger to themselves or others. The U.S. military and the VA should be required to flag all soldiers who are being treated for PTSD or other mental disorders that make them a danger to themselves or others.

Second, all guns should be licensed. All new purchases should have a seven- to fourteen-day waiting period, allowing sufficient time for background checks to be performed. A database of those who purchased and those who own guns should be available to law enforcement.

Third, all open-carry and concealed-weapon laws should be repealed, putting an end to the Wild West mentality in many states and communities. Only law enforcement should be permitted to carry firearms in public.

Fourth, the manner in which the government and insurance companies handle mental health treatment must be changed in ways that make it possible for people to get prompt, ongoing, and comprehensive care.

Fifth, school leaders must address the ongoing bullying crisis in public schools. Teachers must be taught to be aware of bullying and to take steps to stop it when they see it happening.  While I suspect it is impossible to put an end to cliques, schools must do a better job of fostering inclusiveness. Perhaps it is time to put an end to the jocks-rule mentality that dominates most schools.

Sixth, semi-automatic firearms such as the AR-15 should be immediately banned. Any firearm capable of firing large-volume bursts should be banned. There is no legitimate reason for anyone to own military-style firearms.

Seventh, large (high) capacity magazines and clips should be immediately banned. There is no legitimate need for owning guns with large-capacity magazines, nor is there any reason for owning clips holding dozens of rounds of ammunition. It also goes without saying that bump stocks such as the ones used in the Las Vegas massacre should be outlawed.

Eighth, politicians should be banned from taking financial or in-kind donations from the NRA and the gun lobby. The NRA, along with the Ted Nugents of the world, are part of the problem. These promoters of the means of violence should not be given larger-than-life influence over the political process. (As my editor mentioned to me, this would surely not pass constitutional challenge. Fine. Let’s reverse the effects of Citizens United. Let’s make public the names of ALL campaign donors. Let’s ban corporate donations, soft money, and the other endless ways politicians hide who and where donations are coming from. In fact, let’s federally fund elections and limit campaigning as Great Britain does to a short time before time election day. In other words, GET THE FUCKING MONEY OUT OF POLITICS!)

If the United States wants to reduce gun violence in general and school shootings in particular, it must look at how countries such as Great Britain and Australia have crafted their gun control laws and act accordingly. Tinkering at the edges, making meaningless, superficial changes to gun laws is not the answer. The rest of the Western world looks at the United States and thinks that the Yanks have gone bonkers. Can they not see what must be done to put an end to gun violence in their schools? Those of us who don’t suck at the teat of the NRA know what must be done. It is up to us to force our political leaders to stop the blood flowing in the hallways of our schools. If our elected officials won’t act, then it is time for us to get men and women who will. Doing nothing or next to nothing is not the answer.

Today is the fifth anniversary of the Parkland School massacre.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Dear Baby Boomers, Stop Attacking Millennials and Pining for the Good Ole Days

things better in good old days
Recent Comment on Facebook by a Baby Boomer

Following in the footsteps of their parents and their grandparents before them, Baby Boomers have taken to criticizing the latest generation of American children. These snowflakes, as Millennials/Gen Z/Gen Alpha are disparagingly called, have it easy, according to their critics. Often, criticisms are followed with “back in the day” anecdotal stories meant to prove that teenagers and young adults are living on easy street compared to their parents and grandparents. If only our society would return to the good ‘ole days, Baby Boomers say, all would be well.

Armed with selective memories or showing signs of dementia/Alzheimer’s, Baby Boomers have posted to social media countless memes and comments about how better their youthful days were than are those today. What Baby Boomers don’t mention is the instrumental part they have played in making things the way they are today. Who are the people running the government? Who are the corporate CEOs and the heads of media outlets? For the most part, Baby Boomers. Millennials don’t control much in this country. It’s their parents’ and grandparents’ generations that control everything. It’s not Millennials who elected Donald Trump. It’s not Millennials who are in charge of the American war machine. It’s not Millennials who have destroyed the working class and outsourced millions of American jobs. It’s not Millennials who have driven up healthcare costs. If Baby Boomers want to find who’s to blame for all these things (and more), they need only look in the mirror. And while they are gazing at their aged “sixty is the new thirty” faces in the mirror, they might want to ask the Greatest Generation to join them. Millennials are certainly not without fault, but to lay the blame for societal ills at their collective feet is not only laughable, it is also a denial of past history and present reality.

Millennials are the first generation to be born into the technology revolution. Their parents came of age in a world without most of the technology that drives our present age. My wife and I will celebrate forty-five years of marriage in July. Until the late 1980s, our life pretty much mirrored that of our parents. Outside of having 8-track/cassette players instead of record players and push-button telephones instead of rotary dial phones, our day-to-day living wasn’t much different from that of the homes we grew up in. Certainly, societal mores were rapidly changing, but Polly and I were insulated from these changes thanks to our immersion in Evangelical Christianity.

In the 1990s, computers became affordable for many people. From that point until today, we have experienced non-stop technological advancement. We now live in world dominated by computers, smartphones, — which are handheld computers with built-in monitors — the worldwide web (www), and social media. In a matter of seconds, we can send text messages, photographs, and emails across the globe. We can talk via Skype to people continents away. Social media allows us to be friends with people that we would never have met had it not been for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the like.

This is the world of Millennials. Should they be faulted for embracing the modern technological age? Who made all these wonders available to them? Who built the companies and products that play such an integral part in their lives? Better look in the mirror again, Baby Boomers. Sure, it’s primarily Millennials who invented social media, but without the work of aged men such as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and countless other Baby Boomers, there wouldn’t be an Internet, nor would there be smartphones and social media. Like it or not, Baby Boomers, the world as it is now was created and shaped by us.

I am almost sixty-six years old. Like many of my generation, I don’t like some of the behaviors I see coming from Millennials. But, I also know that my parents and grandparents thought the same about my generation. Being criticized by previous generations is a rite of passage. I am a father to three Gen-Xers and three Millennials.  I have thirteen grandchildren, one of whom is twenty-two, and three others who are in high school. In less than fifteen months two of them be in college. My older grandchildren are very much a part of the tech generation (as much as their parents will allow them to be, anyway). Are my children and grandchildren inferior/less hardy than my generation or that of their grandparents? Of course not. What they are is different. They were born into a world very different from the world I entered in 1957. Their experiences, in many ways, are different from those I had as a teen and young adult in the 1970s and 1980s. Yet, their wants, needs, and desires are not much different from what mine were years ago.

As a sports photographer, I spent a good bit of time around local high school students. I carefully watched their behavior and interaction with not only their fellow students, but with society at large. I found, at a base level, kids are kids. Environments change, but kids remain the same. We oldsters do a great disservice to our society when we refuse to see the good in younger Americans; when we refuse to grant that maybe, just maybe, our children and grandchildren have much to offer the human race (despite being hamstrung by runaway government debt, lack of jobs, and astronomical education costs). Millennials are not without fault, but they certainly are not the people described by many of the memes and social media comments I have seen in recent years. One Baby Boomer Facebook friend of mine posted a meme that blamed video games and rap music for school shootings. I shook my head and laughed as I read comment after comment from people agreeing with her. Never mind the fact that video games actually reduce male aggression and that children today are safer than they ever have been (except at school). And music lyrics? Really? Baby Boomers are the classic rock generation. Have they forgotten what the lyrics of their favorite rock songs actually say? Yes, the music loved by Millennials is more explicit, often using graphic words to describe sexual activity, but the music of yesteryear had its own language for sexual activities. In 1976, the Starland Vocal Band released a song titled Afternoon Delight. The lyrics went like this:

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto’s always been “When it’s right, it’s right”
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night
When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be here any way

Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite
And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting

Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always thought a fish could not be caught who didn’t bite
But you’ve got some bait a waitin’ and I think I might
Like nibblin’ in a little afternoon delight

Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me baby when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin’ ‘fore the sun goes down

Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up an appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite
And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting

Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Video Link

If this song were written today, I suspect its author would make ample use of the “F” word and other sexually explicit words. The reason these words weren’t used in the 1970s was because of the Greatest Generation’s puritanical view of certain words. Sexual meanings were hidden behind euphemisms and double entendres. In 1968, the song, “Why Don’t We Do it in The Road” was recorded for the White Album by the Beatles. The entire song was of Paul McCartney repeating:

Why don’t we do it in the road
Why don’t we do it in the road
Why don’t we do it in the road
Why don’t we do it in the road
No one will be watching us
Why don’t we do it in the road

Video Link

What exactly was IT that they were doing in the middle of the road?  If this song was written today, I suspect the word IT would be replaced by the word FUCK. Is one version any better or worse than the other? Of course not. Different, yes; bad/worse, no. One rendering requires reading between the lines, the other doesn’t.

Baby Boomers love to get all wound up about sexting and other ill-advised behavior by Millennials. These gray-haired “saints” forget that they are the ones who ushered in the sexual revolution, and that they used notes instead of texts to set up intimate liaisons. What I am saying is this: kids are kids, and their parents and grandparents need to lay off constantly judging them and criticizing their way of life. Have these oldsters forgotten how such attacks make someone feel? Baby Boomers raised in the Evangelical church, have oh-so “fond” memories of sermons about the evils of premarital sex, rock music, smoking pot, miniskirts, and long hair on men. Surely, we can help, instruct, and guide our children and grandchildren without denigrating the things they value and consider important. If we can honestly remember our own youthful lives and indiscretions, perhaps we might not be so judgmental towards Millennials.

As a father and grandparent, I love and respect my children and grandchildren. They are far from perfect, and they can do things that drive me nuts, but I know from my own experiences that every generation has to find its own way. Millennials face challenges that their parents never had to face. We live in a fast-paced world where things change overnight. Older Americans have the luxury of ignoring changes they don’t like. Millennials, on the other hand, must continue to change and adapt. Their world is fraught with dangers and challenges Baby Boomers never had to face. They need our help, not our judgment and derision.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Evangelicals Talk a Good Line When it Comes to Death, but Often Change Their Tune When They Are Dying

mark twain death

Evangelicals love to talk about Heaven and the afterlife. They love to talk about the imminent return of Jesus and the rapture of all Christians from the earth. They love to brag about being packed up and ready to go; about being ready to check out; about wanting to see Jesus face to face. Listen to enough Evangelical sermons, hymns, and southern gospel songs, and you’ll conclude that believers, much like the Apostle Paul, want to be absent from the body and present with the Lord. But let sickness, disease, or accident usher them to the front door of the great unknown, getting ready to leave, pulling out tomorrow, saying goodbye to all earthly sorrows, and Christians aren’t so much in a hurry to check out after all. It seems when theory becomes reality, Evangelicals are just like the rest of us — they don’t want to die. For all their talk about Heaven and living eternally with Jesus, Evangelicals really aren’t certain about what lies beyond their last breath. Since no one — including Jesus — has ever come back from the dead to tell us what, if anything, lies beyond death, all Evangelicals have to go on is the Bible. And based on my almost seven-decade involvement with Evangelicalism, I can safely say that Christians fear death just like atheists, agnostics, and everyone else they have consigned to the eternal flames of Hell.

If Jesus, God, and Heaven are all that Evangelicals say they are, shouldn’t God’s chosen ones want to leave this rotten, vile, sinful world as soon as possible? If this life is to be endured as some sort of test from God, shouldn’t Evangelicals want to graduate as soon as possible so they can move into their mansions in the sky? Why do Evangelicals do all they can to hang on to life as long as possible? Is it perhaps possible that they know that, despite all their talk of the sweet by and by, deep down they crave life and want to hang onto it at all costs? I suspect this is the case.

I am convinced that there is nothing beyond death; that we only have one life and it will, all too soon, be in the past. It seems like yesterday that I was a youthful ministerial student at Midwestern Baptist College. In but a blink of an eye, forty-seven years have passed. I am now sixty-six years old and have been married for almost forty-five years. My oldest son is almost forty-four and my oldest granddaughter is twenty-two. My once-red beard is white and my joints are filled with arthritis and decay. I’m plagued with memory problems, and ever so quickly I have become my grandparents. I have owned dozens of cars and lived in dozens of houses. I’ve seen twelve presidents elected and lived long enough to see modern technology transform the world. While I hope to live many more years, I know that most of my life is now in the rear-view mirror; less than five years left if I live to age seventy, fourteen if I live to eighty. Where have all the years gone? people of my age ask.

I hope when it comes time to die, that I will face my convictions head on, that I will reject efforts to keep me alive. Several years ago, we had an extended family member who was on life support. He was an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) preacher for over fifty years. His body had shut down, yet his wife refused to pull the plug. The snarky side of me said, why wait? Pull the plug. That way he will see Jesus face to face and be ushered into his home in the sky. But the compassionate side of me gets it — his wife is not ready to let go; his children are not ready to let go. No one wants to face the prospect of sleeping alone or looking in the closet and seeing clothes that will never be worn again. None of us wants to face the emptiness and silence that comes when our significant others die. Who among us wants to lose their lover, friend, and confidant? I know I don’t.

Despite our protestations and acts of denial, when death comes knocking on the door, we can do nothing to keep ourselves alive. The curse of modern technology is that we can often put off the inevitable. But both the Christian and unbeliever must be brutally honest about life and death. Deny death’s reality all we want, it matters not. When it comes our time to die, we die.

Dylan Thomas was right when he said:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

While we can, let us rage against the dying light. But let us, at the same time, also be honest enough to embrace death. Death plays its part in what The Lion King called the circle of life. Being aware of our mortality is very much a part of what makes us human. Deny it all we want, death will still come knocking. Several years ago, a fifty-nine-year-old local man died from a snowmobile accident. While he was snowmobiling on ice, a tree limb hit him in the head and killed him. I went to this man’s Facebook page to see what his last updates were about. He spoke of family, of grandchildren. I wonder if when he wrote about his grandchildren, he knew that would be the last status update that he would ever post; that but a few hours later he would be dead. I doubt it. Life is like that.

Are you ready to face death? What are your opinions about being kept on life support?  Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Black Collar Crime: IFB Youth Pastor David Duffett Accused of Sexually Abusing a Minor

david duffett

The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.

David Duffett, a youth pastor and bus director at Bible Baptist Church in Fairbanks, Alaska, stands accused of sexually abusing a minor. Bible Baptist is an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist congregation affiliated with the Baptist Bible Fellowship. Duffett’s father, Doug, is the pastor of the church.

The Fairbanks Daily News reports:

A local youth pastor indicted Wednesday on one count of felony second-degree sexual abuse of a minor was arrested Friday after turning himself in to Alaska State Troopers. David Duffett, 45, is listed on the Bible Baptist Church of Fairbanks’ website as the youth director, bus ministries director and teacher of the Teen Church and Teens N Training programs.

Duffett appeared for his arraignment Saturday via closed circuit television from Fairbanks Correctional Center, where he is being held on a $50,000 cash performance bond. Duffett was indicted by a Fairbanks grand jury Wednesday. A warrant for his arrest was issued at that time, and Duffett turned himself in to Alaska State Troopers two days later.

A self-identified church member named Christi Marie wrote on Facebook:

David, our Youth Pastor, Bible Teacher, Sunday School Teacher, Science Teacher, was trusted by so many girls and women and he took advantage. He thrived on seeing women chase him and he sexualized us all at young ages.

He was trusted by parents, pastors, and missionaries across the world. He violated that trust for years and despite the head pastors knowing, he was allowed to continue in his position.

His dad (the head pastor -Doug) always said, “Be sure your sins will find you out”; he should’ve known that eventually despite his protecting his son, the truth would be revealed.

Doug has known for over a decade what his son has done and he HID IT! He tried to shut up victims and shove it under a rug..Much like he’s done to everything else brought to him in that church.

This post is no longer available on Facebook. It was originally posted on the Joe My God blog. I cannot verify the veracity of its claims.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Jaycee Riley, Convicted of Pandering Obscenity Involving a Minor and Forgiven by Jesus. Should He be Trusted?

Jaycee Riley

In 2021, Archbold, Ohio resident Jaycee Riley was indicted on forty counts — twenty counts each — of pandering obscenity and illegal use of a minor in a nudity-oriented material or performance. In April 2022, Riley pleaded guilty to ten counts of pandering obscenity involving a minor. He was sentenced to thirty-three days in jail by Fulton County Common Pleas Court judge, Jeffrey Robinson. Robinson ordered Riley to register as a sex offender. Yep, thirty-three days in jail. Nothing says how seriously we take child pornogpraphy than a sentence like this one.

The Archbold Buckeye reported at the time:

Jaycee Riley, 48, Archbold, was sentenced in Fulton County Common Pleas Court on Thursday, April 21, to 33 days in jail, with work release, on 10 counts of pandering obscenity involving a minor.

He was initially indicted on Dec. 20, 2021, on 40 counts– 20 counts each– of pandering obscenity and illegal use of a minor in a nudity-oriented material or performance.

He was indicted under the secret indictment process, so his name and the charges weren’t released to the public until after his arrest.

He was arrested the following day, Dec. 22, at 9:27 am, at the home of a friend on Gaslight Drive.

Riley was arrested by a Fulton County sheriff deputy with the assistance of an Archbold police officer.

He was taken to the Corrections Center of Northwest Ohio.

He was released two days later on $25,000 bond. 

Riley appeared in Common Pleas Court Friday, Feb. 25, for what was billed as a pretrial conference.

Instead, during that hearing, he entered guilty pleas to 10 of the pandering charges. The remaining 30 charges were dropped.

His bond was continued, and a pre-sentence investigation was ordered. 

As part of the jail sentence to be served at CCNO, Jeffrey Robinson, Fulton County Common Pleas Court judge, granted Riley three days credit for jail time served.

Riley must pay a $1,000 fine plus court costs, and was placed on five years of community control.

In addition, a press release from Scott Haselman, Fulton County prosecuting attorney, said Riley was ordered to continue treatment with the Center for Child and Family Advocacy in Napoleon and successfully complete any recommended treatment and aftercare.

He is not to possess any pornographic materials, comply with a 10 pm-6 am curfew, have no unsupervised contact with minors, and to have no relationship with anyone with minor children.

Riley is not to use any camera, computer, or cell phone with internet capabilities and is not to use social media.

Riley was found to be a Tier II sex offender.

Tier II sex offenders must register their addresses with the sheriff of the county in which they reside and verify their address with the sheriff every 180 days for 25 years.

Failure to abide by the conditions of his sentence could lead to a prison sentence of six to 18 months for each count. 

Recently, documents were released on social media (which have since been removed from Facebook) that revealed troubling details about Riley’s case and his involvement with Pettisville Man Cave Ministries. There seems to be some sort of a connection between Pettisville Man Cave and Pettisville Missionary Church in Pettisville, Ohio, though I could not ascertain if there was an official connection. (Polly and I attended Pettisville Missionary on and off in 2005-2006.) I do know that some of the men involved with Pettisville Man Cave attend Pettisville Missionary — an Evangelical congregation. I was also unable to determine whether Riley attends Pettisville Missionary, or any church, for that matter. That said, what troubles me are some of the comments people associated with Pettisville Man Cave made about Riley, his crimes, and how Jesus and the Man Cave are the “cure” for what ails him.

According to Scott Rupp, the leader of Pettisville Man Cave Ministries:

I believe Jaycee knows what he did was wrong. He is showing great remorse to us and I don’t believe it is an act… I know this is going to be a long path for him, whatever the outcome, but I do believe the men at PMCM can help continue to point him to Jesus and help keep him accountable.

Corey Ruffer, a longtime friend of Riley’s, (and someone I have known for years) added:

[Jaycee] takes complete ownership of his mistakes and has demonstrated great remorse for his past decisions.

Wynn D. Roth had this to say:

I believe that he [Jaycee] is aware that what he has done is not acceptable, and is remorseful for this behavior. I know that he is a very introspective person, and is being very hard on himself. I do not feel that he is a danger to society in any way.

“He knows what he did is wrong.” “He’s remorseful.” “He’s taken complete ownership of his mistakes.” “He’s not a danger to society.” These statements, of course, have Evangelical theological undertones:

  • All humans are sinners
  • Jesus shed his blood on the cross to provide atonement for sin
  • Forgiveness of sin is available to anyone who puts his faith and trust in Jesus Christ
  • Jesus will forgive us of our sins, no matter what we do
  • No matter how many times we sin, Jesus will forgive us and wipe our slates clean
  • No sin is beyond Jesus’ grace and forgiveness

Riley has made things right with God, and now, through the help of Pettisville Man Cave Ministries, he plans to stay on the straight and narrow. With Jesus and the Man Cave by his side, Riley is a “new” man. If only it were that simple. The recidivism rate for sexual predators, especially those who have harmed children or were involved with child pornography is high. It is naive to think that trusting Jesus and attending a men’s group will magically cure Riley. He needs help, and I hope he will get it. Secular help. Professional help. Science-based help. Therapeutic help.

Wynn Roth says that Riley is not a danger to society in any way. How can he possibly know this? A gut feeling? Is Roth monitoring Riley’s behavior 24/7? Of course not. No one can know for sure whether Riley will re-offend. I hope not, but he should not be trusted around children — ever. I don’t think for a moment that this was a one-off “mistake.” Most sexual predators and viewers of child pornography have been doing so for years. Rarely do they get caught the first time. That’s why we must use the force of law to protect children from offenders.

Since 2017, I have published almost 1,000 stories in the Black Collar Crime Series. These stories report crimes committed by clerics and other church leaders. One of the common themes in these stories is the naïveté that permeates many churches. People find it hard to believe that their pastors could rape someone, sexually molest children, or be involved with child pornography. And even after their pastors are convicted and sentenced to prison, congregants still have a hard time believing these so-called men of God are criminals or are “evil.” Corey Ruffer, a man I admire and respect, said that Jayee Riley made “mistakes.” Not sins. Not heinous crimes. Not evil behavior. Just mistakes. I have yet to read a statement from anyone associated with Pettisville Man Cave Ministries calling Riley’s crimes what they really are: evil. Anything or anyone that sexualizes children for the purpose of sexual gratification is evil.

I am sure I will hear from locals after this story is published. I will amend it when I do.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Youth Leader Jeffrey Pringle Sentenced to Life in Prison for Rape

jeff pringle

The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.

Jeffrey “Jeff” Pringle, a youth leader at Lifeway Church in New Philadephia, Ohio, was sentenced to life in prison for raping and committing other sex offenses against two girls. Lifeway is affiliated with the Assemblies of God.

In 2022, the Times Reporter reported:

A man who formerly volunteered with a church youth ministry has been charged with two counts of child rape. The alleged victim was between the ages of 5 and 12 when the alleged offenses occurred between Oct. 15, 2014 and June 11 of this year.

Jeffrey A. Pringle, 59, is being held in the Tuscarawas County jail. Magistrate Christine Weimer set his bail at $750,000 in New Philadelphia Municipal Court on Tuesday.

Pringle is also charged with two counts of gross sexual imposition for allegedly having sexual contact with a child who was less than 13 years old, and allegedly compelling the victim to submit by force or threat of force. The offenses are alleged to have occurred between May 6, 2018 and June 11.

New Philadelphia police charged the city resident on Tuesday. He is scheduled to have a preliminary hearing July 20 in municipal court.

Pringle volunteered with the youth ministry of LifeWay Church for about 10 years, according to Travis Wright, co-pastor. 

He said the church has contacted families who have children in the ministry.

“So far, there has been no one who has come forth and accused Jeff of anything or felt uncomfortable or that their children had been targeted,” Wright said. “We have all been blindsided by this. It was not, in any way, something that we expected or anticipated. We love Jeff and Jeff has been a part of our family for years. And so we are heartbroken by this, for sure.”

Police Detective Capt. Ty Norris said Pringle also had a DJ business under the name Jukebox Jeff.

If Pringle were able to post bond, conditions set by the magistrate would apply to his release. He would be prohibited from having contact with any individual under the age of 18. He would be required to abide by a protection order and not commit acts or threats of abuse against the alleged victim or other protected person. He would be required to stay out of bars and taverns and refrain from using alcohol or drugs of abuse.

In February 2023, Pringle was sentenced to life in prison for raping and committing other sex offenses against two girls.

The Times-Reporter reported:

A 60-year-old man who formerly volunteered with a church youth ministry has received a life sentence with the possibility of parole after 20 years for raping and committing other sex offenses against two girls.

Tuscarawas County Common Pleas Judge Michael J. Ernest sentenced Jeffrey A. Pringle Thursday on three counts of child rape and four counts of gross sexual imposition.

The judge said the life sentence was mandatory under state law, and that he had discretion only in deciding when parole eligibility would occur.

One victim was 12 and 13 years old when the sexual abuse occurred, and the other 16, according to Tuscarawas County Prosecutor Ryan Styer.

He said the crimes were a disturbing and monstrous betrayal of the trust that every adult owes to children.

“With this type of crime, there’s a lifetime of consequences, a lifetime of bad memories, and oftentimes a lifetime of processing through what happened,” Styer said.

A woman who spoke on behalf of the victims said Pringle’s offenses crushed her heart. She also turned to his victims and apologized for his actions.

“They will remember this forever,” she said. “I just want to know why, Jeff? Everybody respected you. You were in the church. You were in the community, very high up. “

Pringle stated at his sentencing hearing: “I don’t want anybody to feel bad about me going to prison. I feel like a failure.” A failure? Are you fucking kidding me? Pringle is a sexual predator, not a “failure.” Pringle went on to commend the girls for reporting him to their mothers, “If other children would do the same, we wouldn’t have as many cases as we have in the state of Ohio.” It’s the victims’ fault, right? If only victims would report what happened to them to their mothers, there would be fewer sexual predators in Ohio. Sure sounds like victim-blaming to me. Pringle added that he “did ask God for mercy … and He has forgiven me.” Who gives a fuck? Where was God when Pringle was raping these girls?

And we can’t have one of these stories without the predator’s pastor checking in. Pringle’s pastor, Jeff Calkins, wrote a letter to the court, saying that Pringle was repentant. Calkins requested leniency for Pringle. Why? He raped two girls. He’s a sexual predator. To the good pastor I ask, if Pringle raped someone in your family, would you ask for leniency? Of course not. I wish pastors would shut the hell up in cases such as this one. Minister privately to the offender, but stop minimizing his crimes and suggesting as Calkins did that “I believe with the right help and follow-up, he [Pringle] can be a productive citizen.” Calkins’ words run contrary to how Pringle sees himself:

He has admitted to committing these offenses. He has confirmed what the children have disclosed. He has admitted that he has a sickness and that he can’t control it, and I don’t think any type of release can protect the community from someone with that type of illness.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Are Churches Safe Havens for Children?

photograph of happy children
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New Life Church in Cumberland, Indiana — a United Pentecostal congregation — recently found itself under scrutiny after it came to light that a worker at the church’s daycare was giving Melatonin gummies to children taking naps.

CBS-4 reports:

Paul Caudill started noticing behavioral changes in his 3-year-old daughter about Christmastime.

“She would have random outbursts of emotion and it would always be toward bedtime,” Caudill said. “She wouldn’t eat. She would complain about headaches.”

Caudill said his wife was ready to take the toddler in for medical testing when Pastor David Faulk at New Life Church in Cumberland pulled him aside on February 1st as he dropped his daughter off at daycare on her birthday.

”He pulled me into his office and he had explained to me that one of the employees had been giving my daughter melatonin,” said Caudill. ”I was like, ‘So, you mean that somebody had been drugging my daughter?’ He said, ‘Yeah, well, it’s been brought to our attention that one of our associates has been administering melatonin to a number of children for sixty days.’

”There was a lot of anger that came in towards the end of it but I was in a church with a pastor.”

Tonya Rachelle Voris, 52, was fired in late January as the executive director of Kidz Life Childcare Ministry and now faces a felony charge of neglect of a dependent and a misdemeanor charge of reckless supervision.

In a Probable Cause Affidavit, Cumberland Police indicated they had interviewed most of the parents of the 17 children identified by the pastor as having likely been dosed with the over-the-counter sleep medication.

Many of those parents told detectives that their children had also suffered side effects from the unauthorized doses.

In the PC, CPD determined that, “Voris dispensed the Melatonin gummies to forcefully induce sleep in several children for her personal gain in not having to deal with fussy or problematic children who would not sleep during naptime which was characterized by several staff members as their break-time.”

While Pastor Faulk said Voris admitted dispensing the medication to the children, one of whom was just a 1-year-old, she refused to talk to investigators.

What stood out to me in this story was a statement by Paul Caudill. Caudill’s daughter was one of the children drugged at New Life’s daycare.

Caudill stated:

With it being a church organization, you shouldn’t have to worry about whether my daughter is safe at that facility.

Caudill’s statement reveals a common belief about churches: that churches are safe places, especially for children; that churches and pastors are trustworthy and safe. This sentiment is common among believers and unbelievers alike. Few people seem to question whether these things are true.

Churches are wrongly viewed as bastions of morality; church members, pastors, youth directors, Sunday school teachers, worship leaders, ministry workers, and Christian school and daycare workers are moral and ethical. Few people ask “how do we know this is true”? Does the evidence at hand support the notion that churches and pastors should, without qualification, be trusted? I contend it does not.

Part of the problem is that religion, in general, is viewed as the wellspring of morality. In the United States, Christianity, a text-based religion, is viewed as the de facto standard for morality and ethics. While I am an atheist and a humanist, I fully recognize the deep imprint Christian morality has made on my life. An increasing number of public schools are posting the Ten Commandments on the walls of their classrooms. Evangelical parents are clamoring for Bible-based religious instruction in schools. Why? These parents think that the Bible’s teachings and morality are one and the same.

Churches, then, are viewed as dispensers of morality. It is assumed that those dispensing these teachings are themselves “moral.” Surely, if a man stands in the pulpit on Sundays dispensing moral truth, he practices what he preaches, right? Surely other authority figures in churches do the same. Or so the thinking goes, anyways.

I was in the Evangelical church for fifty years. I was a pastor for twenty-five years. I have intimate and extensive knowledge about what goes on behind the scenes in churches. I know where the bodies are buried. I know about cover-ups meant to protect church reputations over children and vulnerable adults. I have been critiquing Evangelicalism for decades. Since 2017, I have published the Black Collar Crime Series. One thousand stories strong, this series lays bare the notion that churches are safe havens; that pastors can and do commit crimes; that no one should be trusted by default.

Just because churches do background checks doesn’t mean they are safe. All background checks do is check whether someone was convicted of a crime. If a sexual predator, for example, is never arrested or convicted, his background check will come back clean. Further, nothing stops someone from committing crimes after his background check. Most predators are repeat offenders. Rarely do they get caught the first time — despite offending preachers swearing before God and their churches that they only did what they did once.

I am not suggesting that churches are, by default, “evil” or havens for predators. I am saying, however, that people shouldn’t uncritically trust churches, pastors, and other authority figures. Churches are easy places for predators to hide in plain sight. Youth pastors, in particular, are notorious for taking advantage of teen girls. And just because a so-called man of God preaches rousing sermons on morality, it doesn’t mean that he, himself, is moral.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Our Church Stories

guest post

Guest Post by MJ Lisbeth

I hadn’t heard from “Ivette” in decades. So, when I saw her name in the subject line, I hesitated.  But my curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the email.

“Dear MJ.” She opened with my current, not my “dead,” name. A pleasant surprise, but was it a prelude to something less respectful, let alone affirming? 

I can’t remember our last encounter, but I know it took place in—or in the context of—the Evangelical church where she was a volunteer who did, basically, anything deemed not important enough for male members. In all honesty, she could have done a better job than I did of leading a Bible study and editing the church’s newsletter. She knew it as well as I did, but if she had any resentment, she didn’t express it, I suspect, as much out of the deference expected of her as to her emotional grace, which she possessed to a much greater degree than I ever have. 

So why was she writing to me after so many years? Did she want to bring me back to Jesus—and the name, gender, and life I left with him, with the God who was him and his father and his ghost?  Or would she, like someone else I knew from those days, berate me because I am not, and could never be, a “real woman: because I have never menstruated, married a man, given birth, or had any of the other experiences by which they define themselves?

Fortunately, her email contained no attempts to return me to her faith—which, I would soon learn, was as much a part of her past as my life as a boy and man was part of mine. She did, however, ask if we could talk. I replied in the affirmative and she sent me her number.

Turns out, she’s been living on the other side of the country almost since the last time I saw her. Ostensibly, she moved from the Atlantic to the Pacific coast for graduate school and a job. She could, however, have done those things, at least in the field of her study and work, almost anywhere, including the New Jersey town in which our old church was located. 

By now, you might have guessed that she wanted to move as far as she could from that church and anything related to it. The reason did not surprise me—it was something I’d suspected all of those years ago when we were in the church—but it appalled me nonetheless.

“He raped me.”  I knew exactly who she was talking about: a deacon, twice her age or close to it. Sometimes I felt guilty because as a “good Christian,” I believed I should have made more of an effort to engage with him. But I just couldn’t: a sense not granted to me by the Holy Spirit guided me away from him. Throughout all of the time I was part of that church, we were the proverbial ships passing in the night. 

Oddly enough, our pastor, who encouraged us—well, most of us—to get to know each other so that we could serve the Lord “as a body in the spirit,” as he liked to say, made no effort to bring us together even though our avoidance of each other—actually, more mine of him—created a few awkward scenes. I believe that the pastor may have thought I was trying to short-circuit an illicit attraction, which I didn’t have for the deacon and I don’t believe he had for me, even though, given the right circumstances, he might have used me as he used Ivette. Although many more years would pass before I would come to terms with the sexual abuse a priest inflicted on me in the Catholic church where I served as an altar boy, I understood that the deacon was purely and simply a sexual predator, although I, like most people, wasn’t using that kind of terminology to describe people like him.

One striking parallel between Ivette’s story and mine is that each of us clung to our belief or, more precisely, our desire to believe, after experiencing sexual trauma from trusted leaders in the church. That, of course, led me to the church where each of us experienced another kind of trauma. Hers, of course, was brutal and physical. Mine, on the other hand, was psychological, though I didn’t understand it until much later.

People who haven’t been “tokenized” don’t understand the damage it can do. Although my sexual orientation, let alone my gender identity, were never openly discussed, I am sure there were whispers. I was lauded for “sublimating” my desires, which were not named, in service of the Lord. In other words, without saying as much, I was held up as an example that Jesus “loves the sinner but hates the sin” and will therefore guide said sinner away from sin, if only the sinner allows Him in.

Having been sexually abused by “men of God,” I mention my mental distress, not to minimize Ivette’s experience of sexual exploitation, but to mention another way in which she was harmed. Ivette was the only non-White person in the congregation. She is bi-racial:  Her southern Black father married an Englishwoman he met while stationed with the US Air Force. While her identity or appearance—she had a café au lait complexion and nappy black hair—were never pointed out publicly, she was told, privately, that God was “using” her to show that he “loves all of his creations.”

That she wanted anything to do with any church after that, or after being raped, is perhaps a testament to a desire for faith even stronger than mine. She had been studying the Bible diligently and reading theologians, if only the ones who confirmed the beliefs we had at the time. And she continued to study, and read even more broadly, even after she moved and commenced graduate school in a nearly unrelated field. Eventually, she told me, she cycled through a number of churches and even decided, for a time, that Judaism was the “true faith.” She never seriously considered any belief system outside the Judeo-Christian orbit, so once her dedication to Judaism waned, she started to lose all belief.

Oh, and she got into a relationship—which continues to this day—with a Filipina woman she met at a seminar.

We have continued to email each other and have talked on the phone a few times. She revealed something else: a mutual friend in the church, whom I’ll call Emmanuel, committed suicide about fifteen years ago. While that grieved me, it also didn’t surprise me: After a couple of stays in psychiatric hospitals and seemingly endless rounds of drugs, he appealed to Jesus to “heal” him. I don’t know as much about his religious or other history as I do of Ivette’s. It wouldn’t surprise me, however, if he sought, and clung to, faith as an antidote to troubles that the church (or whatever faith institution) in which he was born and raised, or sought solace, caused. Such is the psychological damage that too many churches cause.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Bruce Gerencser