Series: Songs of Sacrilege

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin

    janis joplin

    This is the one hundred and thirty-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
    My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
    Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
    I wait for delivery each day until three,
    So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
    I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
    Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

    Everybody!

    Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
    My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

    That’s it!

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves

    kacey musgraves

    This is the one hundred and thirty-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    If you save yourself for marriage
    You’re a bore
    If you don’t save yourself for marriage
    You’re a whore-able person
    If you won’t have a drink
    Then you’re a prude
    But they’ll call you a drunk
    As soon as you down the first one

    If you can’t lose the weight
    Then you’re just fat
    But if you lose too much
    Then you’re on crack
    You’re damned if you do
    And you’re damned if you don’t
    So you might as well just do
    Whatever you want
    So

    Make lots of noise
    Kiss lots of boys
    Or kiss lots of girls
    If that’s something you’re into
    When the straight and narrow
    Gets a little too straight
    Roll up a joint, or don’t
    Just follow your arrow
    Wherever it points, yeah
    Follow your arrow
    Wherever it points

    If you don’t go to church
    You’ll go to hell
    If you’re the first one
    On the front row
    You’re self-righteous
    Son of a-
    Can’t win for losing
    You’ll just disappoint ’em
    Just ’cause you can’t beat ’em
    Don’t mean you should join ’em

    So make lots of noise
    Kiss lots of boys
    Or kiss lots of girls
    If that’s something you’re into
    When the straight and narrow
    Gets a little too straight
    Roll up a joint, or don’t
    Just follow your arrow
    Wherever it points, yeah
    Follow your arrow
    Wherever it points

    Say what you think
    Love who you love
    ‘Cause you just get
    So many trips ’round the sun
    Yeah, you only
    Only live once

    So make lots of noise
    Kiss lots of boys
    Or kiss lots of girls
    If that’s what you’re into
    When the straight and narrow
    Gets a little too straight
    Roll up a joint, I would
    And follow your arrow
    Wherever it points, yeah
    Follow your arrow
    Wherever it points

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Trailer Song by Kacey Musgraves

    kacey musgraves

    This is the one hundred and thirty-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Trailer Song by Kacey Musgraves.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    You say that you’re watching the birds out the window
    Well I’ve got a bird you can watch
    You ain’t gotta act like you’re borrowing eggs
    Just to see if my dishes are washed
    What’s it to you if it’s Wednesday at noon
    And I’ve traded my iced tea for scotch

    Keep your two cents on your side of the fence
    Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
    Nothing to see here
    Go back to your trailer

    You ain’t gotta ask what I did to my hair
    Or whose underwear’s on the line
    It ain’t mine
    I ain’t gonna ask who’s been mowing your grass
    So you ain’t gotta ask who mows mine
    Quit judging my job and my car and my clothes
    Get your nose out of your mini-blinds

    Keep your two cents on your side of the fence
    Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
    There ain’t nothing to see here
    Go back to your trailer

    Don’t ask me if I go to church
    I won’t ask if your husband is still out of work
    Try and claim high society
    We get our mail on the same side of the street

    So keep your two cents on your side of the fence
    Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
    There ain’t nothing to see here
    Go back to your trailer
    You nosy bitch
    There ain’t nothing to see here
    Go back to your trailer

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Heaven by Talking Heads

    talking heads

    This is the one hundred and thirty-fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Heaven by Talking Heads.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Everyone is trying
    To get to the bar
    The name of the bar
    The bar is called heaven

    The band in heaven
    They play my favourite song
    Play it one more time
    Play it all night long

    [Chorus]
    Heaven, heaven is a place
    A place where nothing
    Nothing ever happens
    Heaven, heaven is a place
    A place where nothing
    Nothing ever happens

    There is a party
    Everyone is there
    Everyone will leave
    At exactly the same time

    When this party’s over
    It will start again
    It will not be any different
    It will be exactly the same

    [Chorus]

    When this kiss is over
    It will start again
    It will not be any different
    It will be exactly the same

    It’s hard to imagine
    That nothing at all
    Could be so exciting
    Could be this much fun

  • Songs of Sacrilege: From God’s Perspective by Bo Burnham

    bo burnham

    This is the one hundred and thirty-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is From God’s Perspective by Bo Burnham.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    [Bo Burnham]
    Um…there’s things I don’t want to be miss construed my act I feel off and on. I don’t wish you leave in my shell, thinking that I think I know better than people, or that I think I am better then people in general. Okay, I will put it up there. This is a song from the perspective of God

    [Verse 1]
    The books you think I wrote are way too thick
    Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick
    And I don’t watch you when you sleep
    Surprisingly I don’t use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
    [Hook 1]
    You’re not going to heaven
    Why the fuck did you think I’d ever kick it with you
    None of you are going to heaven
    There’s a trillion aliens cooler than you

    [Bridge 1]
    You shouldn’t abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to
    You shouldn’t rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do
    (It’s pretty obvious just don’t fucking rape people
    I didn’t think I had to write that one down for you.)

    [Verse 2]
    I don’t think masturbation is obscene
    It’s absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen
    You make my job a living hell
    I sent gays to fix overpopulation
    Boy, did that go well

    [Hook 2]
    You’re not going to heaven
    Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
    None of you are going to heaven
    You’re not my children, you’re a bad game of Sims

    [Bridge 2]
    You shouldn’t abstain from pork just cause you think that I want you to
    You can eat pork, because why the fuck would I give a shit?
    (I created the universe you think I’m drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?)

    [Verse 3]
    You argue and you bicker and you fight
    Atheists and Catholics
    Jews and Hindus argue day and night
    Over what they think is true
    But no one entertains the thought
    That maybe God does not believe in you

    [Hook 3]
    You pray so badly for heaven
    Knowing any day might be the day that you die
    But maybe life on earth could be heaven
    Doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth the try?

    [Bridge 4]
    My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn
    And when you earn it you won’t need it
    My love’s the type of thing that you have to earn
    And when you earn it you won’t need it

    I’m not going to give you love just cause I know that you want me to
    If you want love then the love is gonna come from you
    Thank you very much

  • Songs of Sacrilege: The Frog and the Vicar by The Corries

    the corries

    This is the one hundred and thirty-sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Frog and the Vicar by The Corries.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    There once was a very very holy vicar
    ‘ Was walking alone the street one day,
    When he heard a little voice sayin’: “Excuse me vicar,
    O help me vicar”, the voice did say.
    The vicar look’d about, but all he could see
    Was a tiny little frog sitting on the ground.
    “O my little froggie did you speak to me?
    Was it you who spoke when I heard that sound?”
    “Oh yes!” said the frog “Oh help me vicar,
    ‘Cause I am not a frog, you see!
    I’m a choir boy, really, but a very wicked fairy
    Put a nasty spell on me!
    The only way, that I can be saved,
    From this wicked spell” the little frog said,
    “Is for someone to take me,
    And put me in the place, where a very holy man
    Has laid his head!”
    So the vicar took him home,
    Put him on ‘is pillow,
    And there he lay till the break of day.
    The very next morning: a blessed miracle!
    The spell was lifted, I’m glad to say!
    For there was a choir boy in bed with the vicar,
    And I hope you think this all make sense,
    ‘Cause there, my lord, and members of the jury,
    Rests the case of the Vicar.

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Jesus’ Brother Bob by The Arrogant Worms

    arrogant-worms

    This is the one hundred and thirty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Jesus’ Brother Bob by The Arrogant Worms.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    If you haven’t heard of me I wouldn’t be surprised
    I bet you know my relatives their names will never die
    My mother is a saint and my brother is a God
    But all I am is Jesus’ brother Bob

    CHORUS

    Jesus’ brother Bob, Jesus’ brother Bob
    A nobody relative of the son of God
    If only I’d been born just a little sooner
    I’d be more than the brother of God junior

    I have to pay the ferry to cross the Galilee
    But not my brother, no not him, he walks across for free
    I finally get to work ’bout a quarter after nine
    Already he’s turning water into wine

    CHORUS

    One day when I was home I heard a mighty roar
    There were a thousand people right outside the door
    “Help us Jesus, help us” came the cheering from the mob
    Then they got a look at me, “Oh nuts, it’s only Bob.”

    CHORUS

    He died upon the cross, I thought that I was free
    Finally people would get to know me for me
    This was my big chance to finally get ahead
    The next thing you know he’s rising from the dead

    CHORUS

  • Songs of Sacrilege: I Believe in Father Christmas by Greg Lake

    greg-lake

    This is the one hundred and thirty-eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is I Believe in Father Christmas by Greg Lake of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Lake died yesterday at the age of 69.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    They said there’ll be snow at Christmas
    They said there’ll be peace on Earth
    But instead it just kept on raining
    A veil of tears for the Virgin birth
    I remember one Christmas morning
    A winters light and a distant choir
    And the peal of a bell and that Christmas Tree smell
    And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

    They sold me a dream of Christmas
    They sold me a Silent Night
    And they told me a fairy story
    ‘Till I believed in the Israelite
    And I believed in Father Christmas
    And I looked TO the sky with excited eyes
    ‘Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
    And I saw him and through his disguise

    I wish you a hopeful Christmas
    I wish you a brave New Year
    All anguish pain and sadness
    Leave your heart and let your road be clear
    They said there’ll be snow at Christmas
    They said there’ll be peace on Earth
    Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
    The Christmas we get we deserve

  • Songs of Sacrilege: The Stage by Avenged Sevenfold

    avenged sevenfold

    This is the one hundred and fortieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Stage by Avenged Sevenfold.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    So I arrived, naked and cold
    A welcomed change from the abeyance of a ghost town catacomb
    No need for counsel I appreciate the time I’m not alone
    (Why don’t you get my lawyer on the phone)

    There were days these child eyes
    Would overlook the ugliness and fantasize
    I found my heart for the first time and I awakened in me
    I left myself to navigate, and oh I felt control
    (It seems these sheep have quite an appetite)

    Who is the crowd that peers through the cage,
    As we perform here upon the stage?

    As the boy became a man
    In came a calm sophistication I can hardly understand
    So lost in ego, didn’t notice when the time had slipped away
    (Yeah, everybody’s got a sob story)

    Jesus Christ, was born to die
    Leave it to man to levitate his own to idolize
    We’re simply sociopaths with no communication baby
    I see your angle but we differ from our points of view
    (So tell me, what’s your cross to bear?)

    Who is the crowd that peers through the cage,
    As we perform here upon the stage?
    Tell me a lie in a beautiful way
    I believe in answers just not today

    Hope my wheels don’t abandon me now,
    Seeing that I’m out here alone
    I’m running out of fight
    And the wind speaks a comforting voice,
    Guiding me to her arms
    Mother, I’m alright

    It took the birth of sin to snake-rattle the mind
    Before a blow to the head by the gavel of time
    To wake up
    Won’t you wake up?
    When did the walking apes decide that nuclear war
    Was now the only solution for them keeping the score?
    Just wake up
    Can’t you wake up?

    Who is the crowd that peers through the cage,
    As we perform here upon the stage?
    Tell me a lie in a beautiful way
    I believe in answers just not today

     

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Are You Drinkin’ With Me Jesus? by Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon

    jello biafra and mojo nixon

    This is the one hundred and forty-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Are You Drinkin’ With Me Jesus? by Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I saw you sittin’ there
    I was tryin’ not to stare
    I wasn’t sure if it was you
    I didn’t know just what to do

    [Chorus:]
    Are you drinkin’ with me Jesus
    I can’t see you very clear
    Are you drinkin’ with me Jesus
    Would you buy a friend a beer

    As I nestled on my barstool
    I felt your warmness within
    I looked down at my pants
    That wasn’t warmness
    I wet myself again

    [Chorus]

    Does your head pound, Jesus
    As hung over you do rise
    How does paradise look, Jesus
    Through holy bloodshot eyes

    Should we take a cab home Jesus
    Man, we can hoof it from here
    I know you can walk on the water
    But can you walk on this much beer

    Are you drinkin’ with me Jesus
    I can’t see you very clear