The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

Series: Songs of Sacrilege

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Send Me Your Money by Suicidal Tendencies

    suicidal tendencies

    This is the one hundred and twenty-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Send Me Your Money by Suicidal Tendencies.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Lights, camera, silence on the set
    Tape rolling, 3-2-1 action
    Welcome to the Church of Suicidal
    We’ll have a sermon and a wonderful recital
    But before we go on there’s something I must mention
    An important message I must bring to your attention
    I was in meditation and prayer last night
    I was awakened by a shining bright light
    Overhead a glorious spirit, he gave me a message and you all need to hear it
    “Send me your money,” that’s what he said
    He said to “Send me your money”
    Now if you can only send a dollar or two
    There ain’t a hell of a lot I can promise to you
    But if you wants to see heaven’s door
    Make out a check for five hundreds or more
    “Send me your money”, do you hear what I said?
    “Send me your money”

    Now give me some bass, um yea that’s how he like it
    Now let’s have some silence, for all you sinners
    Now give me more bass, yea that was funky
    Now take them on home Brother Clark, send me your money
    Here comes another con hiding behind a collar
    His only God is the almighty dollar
    He ain’t no prophet, he ain’t no healer
    He’s just a two bit goddamn money stealer
    Send me your money
    Send it, you got to send it
    Send me your money
    You hear what I’m saying?
    You got to send it, send it
    Send me your money

    Now how much you give is your own choice
    But to me it is the difference between a Porsche and a Rolls Royce
    I want you to make it hurt when you dig into your pocket
    Cause it makes me feel so good to watch my profits rocket

    Send me your money
    Now dig in deep, dig real deep into your pocket
    I want you to make it hurt!
    We’ll take cash, we’ll take checks
    We’ll take credit cards, we’ll take jewelry
    We’ll take your momma’s dentures if they got gold in them
    So whose gonna be the new king of the fakers
    Whose gonna take the place of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker?
    See my momma, she didn’t raise no fool
    Cause you can’t put a price on a miracle
    Amen

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Dead and Gone by The Iron Boot Scrapers

    iron boot scrapers

    This is the one hundred and twenty-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Dead and Gone by The Iron Boot Scrapers. Dead and Gone is a tribute to the late Christopher Hitchens.

    Video Link

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Strawman by Lou Reed

    lou reed

    This is the latest episode in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Strawman by Lou Reed.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    We who have so much to you who have so little
    To you who don’t have anything at all
    We who have so much more than any one man does need
    And you who don’t have anything at all, ah

    Does anybody need another million dollar movie?
    Does anybody need another million dollar star?
    Does anybody need to be told over and over
    Spitting in the wind comes back at you twice as hard?

    Strawman, going straight to the devil
    Strawman, going straight to hell
    Strawman, going straight to the devil

    Strawman
    Strawman
    Strawman
    Strawman, yes

    Does anyone really need a billion dollar rocket?
    Does anyone need a $60,000 car?
    Does anyone need another president?
    Or the sins of Swaggart parts 6, 7, 8 and 9? Ah

    Does anyone need yet another politician
    Caught with his pants down and money sticking in his hole?
    Does anyone need another racist preacher?
    Spittin’ in the wind can only do you harm, ooohhh

    Strawman, going straight to the devil
    Strawman, going straight to hell
    Strawman, going straight to the devil

    Strawman
    Strawman
    Strawman
    Strawman, yes

    Does anyone need another faulty shuttle
    Blasting off to the moon, Venus or Mars?
    Does anybody need another self-righteous rock singer
    Whose nose he says has led him straight to God?

    Does anyone need yet another blank skyscraper?
    If you’re like me I’m sure a minor miracle will do
    A flaming sword or maybe a gold ark floating up the Hudson
    When you spit in the wind it comes right back at you

    Strawman, going straight to the devil
    Strawman, going straight to hell
    Strawman, going straight to the devil

    Strawman
    Strawman
    Strawman
    Strawman

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis & Your Bible Off My Balls by Eric Schwartz

    Eric Schwartz

    This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis & Your Bible Off My Balls by Eric Schwartz.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    CHORUS

    Keep your Jesus off my penis
    Keep your bible off my balls
    Keep your prayers out of my ears
    And your crosses off my walls
    You can keep the virgin mother
    And the resurrection too
    Keep your Jesus off my penis
    Ill keep my penis offa you

    Well, Im frickin sick and tired
    Of turning on the news
    And seeing the religious rights ungodly fight
    To take our right to choose
    When to bear our children
    Who to love and how
    Education and protection, if were just practicing for now
    So W, look, obey a book
    If thats what works for you
    But I dont tell you how to pray
    So dont you tell me how to screw!

    CHORUS

    So youre screaming bloody murder about the Taliban regime
    For subjugating women and being too extreme
    And basing legislation on some ancient, holy book
    Does that sound a bit familiar?
    Heres a mirror, have a look!
    And as for the Ten Commandments, they need one more, at least
    Thou shalt never cover up the acts of pervert priests
    Now howd they let that happen
    Unless they just abhor us?
    Well, anyway, it adds another layer to the chorus!

    CHORUS

    So youll execute a person and then protect the single cell
    But mercy kill the terminally ill and youre going straight to Hell?
    Well, I dont know much about the word of God, far be it from me
    But I can tell you what it aint, thats hypo-Christianity
    Well, I am not anti-Christian, before you grab a rope
    There is beauty in religion
    And joy and love and hope
    And were all lookin for that answer
    Some colossal, cosmic cause
    But who the fuck are you to turn your views into my laws?

    Its just believers in the bible that would have abortion banned
    Anti-choice agnostics, I could count em on one hand
    And as for killing babies, Ive got but one retort:
    If someone raped your daughter, George, youd beg her to abort

    And if some young girl from your church shows up with child or some infection
    ’cause you told her what a horrid sin it was to use protection
    Well, one day youll face the pearly gates
    And what you gonna say
    When that long-haired, Jewish peacenick sends your ass the other way

    Sayin keep your Jesus off my penis
    Keep your bible off my balls
    Keep your prayers out of my ears
    And your crosses off my walls
    Ive had it up to here with all the biblobile you spew
    So keep your Jesus off my penis
    Well, at least thats what I would do
    Yeah, keep your Jesus off my penis
    Ill keep my penis off of you
    Thats ifn you want me to

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Songs of Sacrilege: What Would Jesus Do? by Adam Baum

    This is the one hundred and twenty-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is What Would Jesus Do? by Adam Baum.

    Video Link

     

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Amazing Grace by Chase Holfelder

    chase holfelder

    This is the one hundred and twenty-sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Amazing Grace by Chase Holfelder. Holfelder changes the lyrics a bit on the second verse. Some Evangelicals were outraged over his sacrilege

    Video Link

  • Songs of Sacrilege: That’s Your Horoscope for Today by Weird Al Yankovic

    weird al yankovic

    This is the one hundred and twenty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is That’s Your Horoscope for Today by Weird Al Yankovic.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Aquarius
    There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
    Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

    Pisces
    Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
    You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

    Aries
    The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
    Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

    Taurus
    You will never find true happiness – what you gonna do, cry about it?
    The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today
    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today

    Gemini
    Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
    Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

    Cancer
    The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
    Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test

    Leo
    Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss’s face, oh no
    Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

    Virgo
    All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent – except for you
    Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick

    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today
    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today

    Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
    that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
    a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
    but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
    are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
    to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

    Where was I?

    Libra
    A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
    Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

    Scorpio
    Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
    Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

    Sagittarius
    All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
    Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you’ve got hanging in your den

    Capricorn
    The stars say that you’re an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they’re lying
    If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today
    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today

    That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
    That’s your horoscope for today
    That’s your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
    That’s your horoscope for today

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Come Down Jehovah by Chris Wood

    chris wood

    This is the one hundred and twenty-eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Come Down Jehovah by Chris Wood.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Come down, come down from your mountain, Jehovah,
    My neck is terribly stiff.
    Hitch up your robes and your raiment, Jehovah,
    Climb down to the foot of your cliff.
    And drink from the stream that was always beneath you,
    Drink from our wonderful font.
    ‘Cause paradise is right here on earth, Jehovah,
    What more could we possibly want?

    Come down and talk amongst friends, Jehovah,
    Come down and sit at your ease.
    Walk through the woods and the valleys, Jehovah,
    Sail upon glistening seas.
    Pass on what you’ve learnt to the children, Jehovah,
    And listen to what they have to say.
    They say, ‘Paradise is right here on earth, Jehovah,
    Not tomorrow, but right now, today.

    And Devil come up from your fiery furnace,
    Come up and show us your face.
    There’s nothing you can teach us of evil or hatred,
    We don’t have right here in this place.
    There is nothing so evil as man in his mischief,
    Nothing so lost or insane.
    And bring your demons up, too, so we’ll know it’s not you,
    But it’s us who must carry the blame.
    It’s us who must live with the shame.

    Come down, come down from your mountain, Jehovah,
    Come down and be with us here.
    Heaven and hell and the life ever after,
    It’s such a beguiling idea.
    But our spell on this earth is much richer, Jehovah,
    Richer than you’ll ever know.
    When it comes time to leave it behind,
    We just close our eyes and let go.
    If we’ve done our best we’ll be ready for a rest,
    We just close our eyes and let go

  • Songs of Sacrilege: God’s Away on Business by Tom Waits

    tom waits

    This is the one hundred and twenty-ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is God’s Away on Business by Tom Waits.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I’d sell your heart to the junkman baby
    For a buck, for a buck
    If you’re looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch
    You’re out of luck, you’re out of luck

    The ship is sinking
    The ship is sinking
    The ship is sinking

    There’s a leak, there’s a leak, in the boiler room
    The poor, the lame, the blind
    Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
    Killers, thieves, and lawyers

    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.
    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.

    Digging up the dead with a shovel and a pick
    It’s a job, it’s a job.
    Bloody moon rising with a plague and a flood
    Join the mob, join the mob

    It’s all over
    It’s all over
    It’s all over

    There’s a leak, there’s a leak in the boiler room
    The poor, the lame, the blind
    Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
    Killers, thieves, and lawyers

    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.
    God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.

    [Instrumental Break]

    God damn there’s always such a big temptation
    To be good, To be good
    There’s always free cheddar in a mousetrap, baby
    It’s a deal, it’s a deal

    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.
    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.

    I narrow my eyes like a coin slot baby,
    Let her ring, let her ring.

    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business.
    God’s away, God’s away,
    God’s away on Business. Business.

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Hey God by Bon Jovi

    bon jovi

    This is the one hundred and thirtieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Hey God by Bon Jovi.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Hey God, I’m just a little man got a wife and family
    But I almost lost the house
    Yeah, I bought into the dream
    We’re barely holdin’ on, when I’m in way to deep
    We’re two paychecks away from living out on the streets

    She’s a workin’ single mom, like a Saint she doesn’t complain
    She never says a word, but she thinks that she’s to blame
    Her son just got convicted, he blew some punk away
    She did her best to raise him, but the world got in the way

    Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
    Seems like all the good shits gone
    It keeps on getting harder hanging on
    Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
    These days you’ve even harder to believe
    I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
    Do you ever think about me

    Born into the ghetto in 1991, just a happy child
    Playing beneath the summer sun
    A vacant lots’ his playground, by 12 he’s got a gun
    The odds are bet against him, junior don’t make 21

    Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
    Seems like all the good shits gone
    It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
    Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
    These days you’ve even harder to believe
    I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…

    I’d get down on my knees
    I’m going to try this thing you way
    Seen a dying man too proud to beg spit on his own grave
    Was he too gone to save?
    Did you even know his name?
    Are you the one to blame, I got something to say

    Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
    Seems like all the good shits gone
    It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
    Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
    These days you’ve even harder to believe
    I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
    Do you ever think about me