Tag Archive: Biblical Gender Roles

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Lori Alexander Rages Against Women Who Dare to Have Careers

lori-alexander

Of course, careers for women came from a godless, heathen world! There is nothing in the Bible that encourages or instructs women to leave their homes for hours every day, their children with strangers to raise, and go to a job. [neither is there anything in the Bible that says women should wear bras and shoes.] If there is one, I have never read it.

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Are older women, as written in the Bible, to be known for their careers? No! They should be known for bringing up children, lodging strangers, washing the saints’ feet, relieving the afflicted, diligently following every good work (1 Timothy 5:10) and teaching the younger women (Titus 2:4). There’s nothing about them having careers.

Widows are not commanded to go out and pursue careers. Their families are the ones who should care for them and if the widow doesn’t have family, then the churches are to care for the widows. (Notice 1 Timothy 5:4 states who in the family should care for widows; “children or nephews” not “children or nieces” – the female children would most likely be married and have husbands who would provide whereas the nephews should help provide, not the nieces.) This is how God set it all up for the provision of women.

Men are the ones in the Bible that God commands to be the providers. This is God’s perfect will from the beginning of time and He reminds us that His commands are not burdensome. Nothing is impossible with Him and if He wants women home with their families, He will provide a way. He instructs us to ask for wisdom and He will give it freely! [In other words, if you are a woman and find yourself destitute, don’t get job. Just wait on Jesus to come through with a pile of cash to meet your every need.]

There are several problems I see with women having careers, even when they are single. After spending all the time and money in pursuing their career, it’s difficult to give it up once the children come along, if and when they do. Also, many husbands like the money their wives make and don’t want them to stop so they insist on their wives keeping the job even when it becomes a strain on the wife. Married women who don’t have children still come home exhausted after working all day. They don’t have the energy to care for their homes or husbands like they would like to do, unless they are high energy women.

I believe one of the main causes of divorce today is due to women having careers. Women put all of their time and energy into their careers and neglect their husbands. [Pity those poor men who are being neglected by their wives.] They were created to be their husband’s help meet but they fail to do what God has called them to do because they can’t do everything and are too tired and exhausted to be helpers to their husbands. This is a recipe for failure and marriage is important to the Lord so it should be a priority for us; for marriage is an example to a lost world of Christ and His Church! Plus, when women have careers, they know that they have the freedom to divorce their husbands since they aren’t dependent upon their husbands for provision but God created wives to be dependent upon their husbands. [ Damn straight, Skippy. Women working means that they no longer are slaves to their husbands; that if their husbands don’t treat them well they can tell them to take a hike.] This is a good thing, contrary to popular opinion.

Women who have careers typically have to work for a boss and the boss is usually a man, therefore, she is living in submission to a man who isn’t her husband which is not God’s plan. Plus, women don’t have the physical makeup that a man has and God created women with a more sensitive and emotional nature in order to be home with their children and/or caring for others, not out in the workforce. [All I can do here is *sigh*.]

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But what about the women who do remain single their entire lives and don’t get married? What if careers are causing many more women to not get married since they don’t “need” a man to take care of them? What if this pursuit by women for careers makes them unattractive to men since they become forceful and independent? God’s plan from the beginning is for men and women to marry. He created men to need a help meet.

Colleges and universities don’t help women acquire meek and gentle spirits. Quite the contrary! They teach them to be strong (apart from the Lord), independent (they don’t need a husband), speak their minds, and stand up for themselves which is completely opposite of what the Lord wants for women. They don’t teach them to be gentle, submissive help meets to their husbands or how to raise godly offspring. Neither do they teach them anything about godly womanhood; no, not even the Christian colleges and universities since they push careers on the women. [Can’t have women who are strong, independent, speak their minds, and stand up for themselves, right? Why, such women might think they are equal to men, capable of doing almost anything the penis crowd can do.]

There are many things women can do who aren’t married without getting a job. Culture tell us that there’s only option for young women today but it’s not. The young, unmarried Duggar and Bates women [ Ah yes, Duggar and Bates women. “Perfect” examples for the young women of today.] take courses on-line, serve their families, go on mission’s trips, assist midwives, serve their communities, find ways to make money from home, and many other things that help others instead of pursuing careers which take them away from their homes. This seems the way it should be, in my opinion [How dare Alexander speak when God has not spoken!].

Women working have taken many jobs away from men. Men NEED to work. God created them to have jobs and this usually defines them, whereas women define themselves by their relationships. Men don’t have to take off time when they bear children, their children get sick (if they have a wife at home), and they don’t feel guilt leaving their children all day long like women do because women know deep down that they are the ones who are supposed to be home with their own children.

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Not One Bible Verse Instructs Women to Have Careers, July 25, 2017

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Women Are the Property of Their Husbands by Larry Solomon

traditional marriage

God made wives the property of their husbands.

There are some relationships in Scripture where the submission of one to another does not involve the ownership of one by the other. Examples of this would be the Biblical admonition to citizens to submit to civil governments and for church members to submit to their church leaders.  God does not give governments ownership rights over their citizens and he does not give church leaders ownership rights over their members. These two spheres of authority are limited in their powers and jurisdictions.

But God established some spheres of human authority where ownership of human property is either allowed (such as slavery under certain circumstances) or ownership is simply implied such as the relationship between a father and his children or a husband and his wife.

The ownership of the wife by the husband is confirmed in the 10th commandment where a man’s wife is included in a list of his possessions:

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.“ Exodus 20:17 (KJV)

Again in the book of  Deuteronomy a man’s wife is included in his possessions:

“And the officers shall speak unto the people, saying, What man is there that hath built a new house, and hath not dedicated it? let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man dedicate it. And what man is he that hath planted a vineyard, and hath not yet eaten of it? let him also go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man eat of it. And what man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her? let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man take her.” Deuteronomy 20:5-7 (KJV)

These possessions all belonged to the man and he had the right to make use of them.  In fact he was encouraged to make use of these possessions.

There are many that falsely attack the Bible based on these and other passages saying that the Bible makes a woman a possession that is no more valuable than cattle(Exodus 20:17) and a peace of land (Deuteronomy 20:5-7).

Another way of saying their argument is “If a woman is owned by her husband then she has no value as a person”.

But this could not be farther from the truth.  While it conflicts with our modern values a person can be owned by another and yet have great value. The Bible says “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.“ (Proverbs 31:10). I don’t know about you – but I think rubies are far more valuable than a house, cattle or a vineyard!

Also the Bible calls on husbands to give “honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel“(I Peter 3:7).  So just because women are the property of their husbands does not mean husbands can treat them the same as their cattle.  This a false argument proposed by those who do understand the Biblical concept of human property verses the world’s concept of human property.

— Larry Solomon, Biblical Gender Roles, Does God Want a Wife’s Beauty Hidden From the World?, July 11, 2014 (Recently updated)

It’s in the Bible: Anonymous Evangelical Blogger Says Marital Rape is not a Sin

submit to your husband

“Trapped” Sophia drawing by nakedpastor David Hayward

The Evangelical church is built around one inviolable belief; that the Bible is the inspired, inerrant Word of God. This belief is irrational and intellectually bankrupt, but it is the one belief that binds every corner of Evangelicalism into a cohesive whole. Throw in a healthy dose of literalism and what you have is a recipe for emotional, mental and, at times, physical abuse.

Evangelicalism, for the most part, is patriarchal. God is a man (father), Jesus is a man (son), and the church is led by a man or men. In the home, the man is the head and his wife and children are to submit to him as unto the Lord.  While egalitarianism has made some inroads in the Evangelical church, complementarianism is still the dominant family structure said to be approved by God. Recently, the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. Evangelicals are outraged over this decision. Why? Because it legalizes “sin” and goes against God’s divine order for the sexes. Evangelicals, thanks to their commitment to inerrancy and literalism, see same-sex marriage the same say they see egalitarianism; a rejection of God’s divine order for the sexes.

I think it is important to keep encouraging Evangelicals to talk out loud so the public can hear them. I hope they write lots of blog posts and opinion pieces and preach lots of sermons about same-sex marriage and the destruction of Christian America. The more they talk and write, the easier it is to show that Evangelicalism is, for the most part, a dangerous religious ideology. Let me give you an example of how dangerous Evangelicalism can be.

The man behind  the blog Biblical Gender Roles, an anonymous writer who refuses to identify himself and who will now be called Coward Behind the Screen, recently wrote a post titled Is My Husband Raping Me?  In a previous post titled Is a Husband Selfish for Having Sex with His Wife When She is not in the Mood, a married woman left the following comment:

“My husband and I have been married for 9 years. When I was pregnant with our first child we sat down and had a discussion about sex. I told him while I was pregnant there would be times when I probably would not want to have sex and if he did I understood and I would be willing to fulfill my duty and his desires………well it all went downhill from there.

I understand what the Bible states. I am a Christian however he is not. That being said when sex began to be painful because of pregnancy he did not care. I would receive the comment “It will only take a few minutes, and I’ll be quick.” Whatever, I took it. Did not hold a grudge. Got past it. The problem is, it has never stopped.

My husband has sex with me whether I want it or not, all of the time. It has tainted our marriage and our sex life to the point of disgust. Even when I would cry, he would still have sex with me. I can read a book and he will still have sex with me. I have tried to tell him how this makes me feel, I have begged and pleaded with him, not to do this to our marriage, that I feel like his whore, or his piece of trash, he does not care.

I have told him this is not love, this is not biblical love, I do not feel loved and he does not care. I hate when he touches me. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. I became so deep in depression because of it. I will be so sad and heartbroken after we have sex sometimes and he actually will ask, “What is your problem?”

I even went as far as to get drunk so I could have sex with him. Guess what….he thought that was the best idea ever, so he would make sure I would have enough alcohol in me to have sex. Even when I said I wanted to stop drinking, he would always make sure the fridge is full.

When I would beg to see a counselor, I would get a guilt trip of 100 reasons why I shouldn’t or cannot. Now I am so numb to it all, I put a pillow over my face, and say just get it over with. And still I am trying to be a Godly wife.

So please tell me how this is not sin. How this is not rape, or abuse of some sort. Because in my mind I feel like I am living with my molester every day. Yes he says he is sorry, he does try to get me in the mood. You can definitely tell when he want wants it, it is the only time he comes up behind me and holds me, and the nonstop sexual comments like “Why don’t you come sit on my lap?” Gross. And If I don’t have sex with him the sighing and whining is sooo overwhelming. It becomes a punishment.

When I’m upset after we have had sex, I get “You told me to do it, I don’t know why you are so upset”. I can go on and on. So as a Christian women do I just keep taking it and keep the smile on my face pretending everything is ok when it is killing me inside? And just a side note, I am not a feminist, I am very biblical when it comes to God’s way, and not being in this world but of this world. So I do get what you are saying about not denying your husband of sex.

But what do you do when it has turned into what yes I would call rape?

Coward Behind the Screen responded:

…Aside from his physically harming her by forcing himself upon her no he is NOT abusing his wife from a Biblical perspective. Even if he did physically force himself upon her – it is IMPOSSIBLE Biblically speaking for a man to rape his wife. Abuse? Yes. Rape? No.  For a larger discussion of the Biblical impossibility of marital rape I refer you again to my post “Is a husband selfish for having sex with his wife when she is not in the mood”.

If he convinces her to yield her body to him, then no sin has been committed on his part. But it is very possible that even if she yields to him – there is still sin on her part. If she acts disgusted by him and acts like he has no right to have sex with her – then the sin lies squarely in her court. She needs to eliminate the terms “rape” and “molester” from her vocabulary regarding her husband’s sexual advances toward her…

…Perhaps if Christian wives in the situation described in this story would go to God and ask him to remove all bitterness in their hearts, submit themselves spiritually, mentally and sexually to their husband’s with a right heart they may have a chance of bringing their husband’s to Christ and as a result of that God can do wonderful things with their marriage…

…I have shown here that Biblically speaking this woman’s husband was not raping her. Did he sin in other ways? Yes. Is it possible for a husband to abuse his wife? Yes. Is it possible for him to rape and molest his wife? From a Biblical perspective the answer is NO. Christian wives must eliminate the terms “rape” and “molester” from their vocabulary were it references their relationship with their husband.

Anyone with a modicum of reason, decency, and respect for women should be outraged ove this man’s defense of marital rape. How can anyone defend such a belief? Simple, it’s in the Bible. Our 21st century view of sexuality, marriage, women, and family is very different from what is taught in the inspired, inerrant Evangelical Bible. Evangelicals like Coward Behind the Screen think the Bible is a timeless, perfect book, words from the very mouth of God. If the Bible says a wife is to submit to her husband, then she must have sex whenever he wants it. To not do so is a sin, a violation of the teachings of the Bible.

obeying the bible

I wish I could say Coward Behind the Screen is an outlier and  his beliefs are his alone. Unfortunately, they are not. Within the patriarchal movement, such beliefs are common. After all, it is in the B-i-b-l-e:

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:1-5)

According to the Evangelical interpretation of this passage:

  • A single man should not touch a woman. There is debate within Evangelicalism over what “not touch” actually means. Some, like those in the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist  (IFB) church movement take it to mean that a single man should have NO physical contact with a woman before marriage. Others, allow some physical contact like hand holding or a brief good night kiss. Both think any physical contact that arouse sexual passion is a sin.
  • If a man and a woman find themselves tempted to commit fornication, then they should get married. In verse nine of the same chapter, Paul writes “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” Again, there is some debate over the word “burn.” Does it mean burn with unrequited lust or does it mean burn in hell?
  • Once married, the woman is to have sex with her husband when he asks for it. The only time when it is OK for her to say NO is when, with the consent of her husband, she withholds sex so she can devote herself to fasting and prayer. Once the woman is done fasting and praying, she must return to putting out when her husbands demands it.

wives submit

Remember, this passage must be read with a patriarchal filter. The man is the head of the home. He is commanded by God to lead his family and wife in the way of the Lord, and that includes reminding his wife that she is to submit to him as unto the Lord. Never mind that, supposedly, Jesus was single, never married, and never even had a wet dream. Even Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 argues that it is better for people not to marry, that marriage is not the preferred way of living. Why? Because when a couple marries:

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.  There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.  And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.(1 Corinthians 7:32-38)

Paul seems to say that marriage is a concession to the sexual weakness of Christian men. Since the horn dogs can’t contain themselves, they need to marry so they can have sex whenever they want to. And since the Old Testament law is no longer in force, the prohibition of sex during menstruation no longer applies. The wife is expected to have sex whenever her husband wants it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

As long as the Bible is considered the inerrant, inspired Word of God, there are going to men like Coward Behind the Screen. Some of them will be pastors and evangelists who will use the power of the pulpit to shame women into conformity and submission. No matter how some within Evangelicalism try to dress up their abhorrent patriarchal beliefs, the fact is they believe woman are the weaker vessel, inferior to men and in need of their care and protection. What’s a little inconvenient, painful sex compared to the awesome spiritual guidance and protection given to you by your spirit-filled, Bible believing horn dog of a husband.

Note

I am sure an offended Evangelical will whine and complain that I am lumping all Evangelicals together. I am. Don’t like it? Change churches. I have no time or use for people who continue to belong to churches and organizations that promote demeaning and subjugating women, all in the name of God and his inspired, inerrant B-i-b-l-e.