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Tag: Dispensational Publishing

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: George Zeller Equates Sin to Auto Defects

recallMany cars are being recalled today because of manufacturing defects. Here is another recall: The Maker of all humanity is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the central component of the heart (Jeremiah 17:9). The defect is known as S-I-N and this defect will eventually ruin every unit that is not repaired (James 1:15). The original unit was extremely well-made (Genesis 1:31). The serious defect is due to a later malfunction in the original prototype, code name: Adam. This resulted in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units (Romans 5:12). [Following Zeller’s analogy, this means that the manufacturer, God, is responsible for the defect, S-I-N.]

The defect is not limited to only one part of the unit; the problem has affected every part (Isaiah 1:6).  Some of the symptoms include loss of direction, uncontrollable acceleration to do evil, and foul vocal emissions (Mark 7:21-23). Even though the Manufacturer did not cause the problem [Yes, he did. He did, after all, manufacture the car. Your product Ford-Lincoln-Mecury God, so you are to blame for its defects.] He has offered a repair for every single unit (Luke 19:10). And this factory-authorized repair is provided absolutely free of charge (Isaiah 55:1), and is guaranteed to correct the defect. The Repair Technician has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. He didn’t pay in cash, nor with silver or gold, but with His own precious life blood (1 Peter 1:18).

The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be consigned to a furnace and suffer eternal consequences (Matt. 13:42). The S-I-N defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven in order to prevent contamination of that facility (Rev. 21:27). [This means, then, that there will be no Christians in Heaven. I don’t know of one auto that has been totally repaired. If complete and total repair is required to enter God’s garage in the sky, it’s going to be mighty empty. Come join us in Hell, Evangelicals. The weather is grand, and junkers are welcome.]

— George Zeller, Dispensational Publishing, Auto Recalls and the Creator’s Recall, June 25, 2018

Zeller is the assistant pastor of Middletown Bible Church, Middletown, Connecticut

Bruce Gerencser