Tag: Proof of Virginity

  • How to Prove a Woman’s Virginity, According to God

    hymen worship

    Evangelicals are what I call hymen worshippers; people who are inordinately obsessed with female genitalia. An intact hymen is viewed as a sure sign of virginity. Evangelicals come by the belief honestly. The Bible has a lot to say about intact hymens and the importance of virginity (for women). In fact, intact hymens are so important to God, the voyeur of the universe, that he demands the death of any woman who has sex before marriage or fails to produce proof of her virginity.

    How could a woman possibly prove she was a virgin? God devised a virginity test. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 says:

    Suppose a man marries a woman but after going in to her dislikes her  and makes up charges against her, slandering her by saying, ‘I married this woman, but when I lay with her, I did not find evidence of her virginity.’ The father of the young woman and her mother shall then submit the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate.  The father of the young woman shall say to the elders: ‘I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her,  and now he has made up charges against her, saying, “I did not find evidence of your daughter’s virginity.” But here is the evidence of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they shall spread out the cloth before the elders of the town.  The elders of that town shall take the man and punish him;  they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver (which they shall give to the young woman’s father) because he has slandered a virgin of Israel. She shall remain his wife; he shall not be permitted to divorce her as long as he lives. “If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman’s virginity was not found,  then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house, and the men of her town shall stone her to death, because she committed a disgraceful act in Israel by prostituting herself in her father’s house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.

    Newlyweds were to put a white sheet underneath them as they had sex for the first time. If the bride is a virgin, the thinking went, when her husband sexually penetrates her for the first time, breaking the hymen, she will bleed on the sheet. The bloody sheet is proof that she was not blemished before her wedding day. No blood? God commands, “Then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house, and the men of her town shall stone her to death.”

    Surely if God exists, he knows that four out of ten women don’t bleed when they have penetrative vaginal sex for the first time. Further, “broken’ hymens can and do heal. It seems to me that the virginity test reflects the medical knowledge and understanding of the time, but if GOD wrote the Bible as Evangelicals allege, surely he should have known that this was an inaccurate way of proving virginity; one that leads to the death of innocent women.

    It’s 2026. Here’s what we know:

    The biggest myth about the hymen is that it breaks when a woman first has intercourse, and that this results in bleeding that makes it clear whether she was a virgin. In the past, some cultures have made an issue or even a ritual of examining or displaying bloody sheets from a wedding bed to show that the young woman was a virgin. Of course the husband wasn’t expected to be a virgin or to prove his sexual purity. 

    In reality, many women do not experience tearing or bleeding of the hymen the first time they have sex. That’s because the hymen is stretchy, like the scrunchie.

    One harmful result of this myth is that it makes some women worry about pain and bleeding the first time they have sex, which can make it harder to get turned on. When a woman is aroused, the muscles near the opening of the vagina can be relaxed, and the vagina creates natural lubrication so that sex is more comfortable—even if it’s the first time. Worrying about pain can lead to tightening of the muscles and less lubrication, which can lead to pain or bleeding. (The Bedsider, Five Myths About Virginity, Busted.)

    Wikipedia adds:

    The hymen can rip or tear during first penetrative intercourse, which usually results in pain and, sometimes, mild temporary bleeding or spotting. Minor injuries to the hymen may heal on their own, and not require surgical intervention. Historically, it was assumed that first penetration was necessarily traumatic, but now sources differ on how common tearing or bleeding are as a result of first intercourse. Therefore, the state of the hymen is not a reliable indicator of virginity, though “virginity testing” remains a common practice in some cultures, sometimes accompanied by hymen reconstruction surgery to give the appearance of virginity. International health organizations condemn virginity testing as harmful.

    There is no way to infallibly know whether a woman is a virgin. By age 20, most young adults (75%) have sex before marriage. By age 30, that percentage rises to 90%. Christians have been preaching about premarital sex and the importance of virginity for 2,000 years, yet the overwhelming majority of congregants have had sex before marriage — including preachers. If modern churches practiced Deuteronomy 22, most of their young adults would have been executed by the age of 30.

    It is clear that having penetrative sexual intercourse is a normal part of the human experience. Driven by evolution, the prime objective is sex is procreation. Now that we know a lot more about where babies come from and have access to a variety of forms of birth control, including abortion, virgins and non-virgins alike are free to have sex without fear of pregnancy.

    My wife and I were virgins on our wedding night, yet Polly did not bleed when we had sex the first time. OMG! We failed the bloody sheet test. Under God’s law, I could have had Polly stoned to death, even though she was a virgin. All of us today — except the likes of Dr. David Tee, Revival Fires, and other Bible thumpers — would rightly consider such a penalty not only scientifically ignorant, but unjust.

    Were you a virgin on your wedding day? For the women reading this post, did you bleed the first time you had sex? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section. For Evangelicals inclined to vehemently object, I ask you to defend the virginity test in Deuteronomy 22. Further, I would like you to explain why we should even listen to God. Who cares what God’s word says? What moral authority does the Bible have? Bonus question for Evangelicals” Were you a virgin on your wedding night? Don’t lie.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

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  • Dear Unmarried Evangelical Women: Can You Prove You Are a Virgin?

    awesome sex

    Evangelicals worship at the altar of female virginity. Premarital sex is verboten, and women are expected to maintain an intact hymen until their honeymoon. Men are expected to not dip their pens in the ink either, but rarely do Evangelical preachers mention male virginity. The reason is simple, women are viewed as gatekeepers. Evangelical boys and men are weak, pathetic horn dogs that will fuck their way through their churches unless stopped by iron-padlocked vaginas. In some circles, virgin teen girls and women sign purity contracts with their fathers, pledging to be daddy’s little girl until marriage. Frankly, I find purity contracts, along with daughter-father purity jewelry, downright creepy — especially in light of the ongoing sexual abuse scandals roiling through Evangelicalism.

    Despite the monumental effort by Evangelical churches/pastors/parents to thwart their daughters from having sex before marriage, sexually aware teens and young adults do what they always have done — engage in sexual activity. Smart parents teach their children about safe sex and birth control, realizing that it is more likely than not that their children will not be virgins when they walk down the wedding aisle; that is, if they bother to marry at all.

    In Deuteronomy 22:13-20, the inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God sets forth how questions of virginity should be handled:

    If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

    As you can tell from this passage of Scripture, virginity worship has been around for thousands of years. The Abrahamic religions, in particular, covet hymen-intact vaginas. Husbands expect their new wives to be unsullied when they have sexual intercourse for the first time. If they find out that another penis has been there before theirs, the woman is labeled a whore and the husband is free to divorce her. Keep in mind, the Bible says nothing about male virginity. I know, I know, s-h-o-c-k!

    If a man says, hey, your daughter is not a virgin, it is up to her parents to prove otherwise by providing evidence of her virginity — a blood-stained sheet. I am still at a loss to understand how a man could have sex with a woman and not “see” the blood-stained sheet underneath him and his new wife. Perhaps, the woman’s parents were lurking nearby and gathered up the sheet as soon as the deed was done. But, even then, wouldn’t they have held the sheet up to their daughter’s husband and said, see, she was a virgin? She’s yours now! So many things in this story that don’t make sense; not that such insensibility is rare for the Bible. Remember, not only is this passage straight from the Christian God’s holy book, but it is also the never-changing law of God.

    If a woman’s parents proved to the city elders that their daughter was indeed a virgin before marriage, her husband was required to stay married to her all the days of his life. Imagine THAT marriage! Imagine living with a man who accused you of being a whore and tried to have you executed. All the husband had to do to right the matter is pay 100 shekels to the father of the bride. After all, it was HIS reputation that was harmed by the husband’s accusation.

    If the woman’s parents couldn’t prove their daughter’s virginity, their daughter was to be taken to the door of her father’s home and stoned to death by the men of the city. She would forever be known as a whore.

    Explain to me, again, why any woman would ever want to be a Christian. (Why Would Any Woman Want to be an Evangelical Christian?)