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Tag: Songs of Sacrilege

Songs of Sacrilege: Poison by Tombstone Da Deadman

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This is the seventy-sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Poison by Tombstone Da Deadman.

Video Link

Lyrics

[My church believes heaven and hell are real places.]

[Mmm. Uh huh.]

[And uh, guess which one you are going to if you keep this up?]

[I don’t know how we can fix a world where people have been so convinced that they are doing the right thing out of compassion and love and trying to help people when it is absolute poison. When it is absolutely destructive.]

Now who’s the one that is responsible for how the world is?
Who’s the one that is responsible for how we all live?
Who takes the negative influences and poisons all the kids
So they just repeat the stupid shit that you and I did?

Who’s the species that wallows in this puddle of mud?
Who’s the one that painted the planet in buckets of blood?
Who’s the one that begs a god for forgiveness of sins,
Then turns right around the next day and does it again?

Who’s the money hungry monsters that poisons the air,
Kills his own kind and steals the land ’cause he can’t share?
Who points the finger at a devil trying to shift the blame
And hides his hands because he knows that they’re covered in blood stains?

Yeah it’s just as you assuming it’s nothing but these humans
Would like to blame mythology for everything they doing.
They pray for non-existient gods to clean up the mess,
But never take responsibility just claim it’s a test.

See, that religion you’ve been given is shit and it’s all poison
And it’s partially the reason we’re bleeding it’s all poison
Yo, your worldview is poison and your outlook, is poison
You can deny it all you want but the truth is it’s all poison

That religion you’ve been given is shit and it’s all poison
And it’s partially the reason we’re bleeding, it’s all poison
Yo, your worldview is poison and your outlook is poison
You can deny it all you want but the truth is it’s all poison

See, as long we keep believing in demons, devils and goblins
We’ll never see a reason to tackle problems and solve ’em
‘Cause we gonna keep on thinking it’s part of divine prophecy
And we don’t have to solve is cause one day Jesus will stop it, see?

Many of y’all invested in living life after death
And nobody’s ever proved that we even have a soul yet
So while everybody’s speculating, lots of ya’ll are hesitating
Praying with your fingers crossed and hoping there’s a heaven waiting.

So sky daddy’s only talking to your group, huh?
And everything in your holy book is the truth, huh?
And we gonna burn if we don’t listen to you, huh?
Well, every other group is claiming that too bruh.

So don’t be coming at me unless you got some evidence
And use some reason and logic to make it make sense.
I think it’s evident that ever since I start asking for evidence
They stuttered like they got a speech impediment.

See, that religion you’ve been given is shit and it’s all poison
And it’s partially the reason we’re bleeding, it’s all poison
Yo, your worldview is poison and your outlook is poison
You can deny it all you want but the truth is it’s all poison

That religion you’ve been given is shit and it’s all poison
And it’s partially the reason we’re bleeding, it’s all poison
Yo, your worldview is poison and your outlook is poison
You can deny it all you want but the truth is it’s all poison

 

Songs of Sacrilege: The Garden of Allah by Don Henley

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This is the seventy-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Garden of Allah by Don Henley.

Video Link

Lyrics

It was pretty big year for fashion
A lousy year for rock and roll
The people gave their blessing to crimes of passion
It was a dark, dark night of the collective soul
And I was somewhere out on riverside by the el royale hotel
When a stranger appeared in a cloud of smoke
I thought I knew him all too well
He said now that I have your attention
I got something I wanna say
You may not wanna hear it, I’m gonna tell it to you anyway
You know I’ve always like you boy
Cause you were not afraid of me
Things are gonna get mighty rough here in gomorrah-by-the-sea

Ya said it’s just like home
It’s so damn hot I can’t stand it
My fine seersucker suit is all soaking wet
And the hills are burning
And the wind is raging
And the clock strikes midnight in the garden of Allah
In the garden of Allah

Nice car
Ah, I love those bavarians
So meticulous
Y’know I remember when things were a lot more fun around here
When good was good and evil was evil
Before things got so fuzzy
I was once a golden boy like you
And I was summoned to the halls of power in the heavenly courts
And I dined with the deities who looked upon me with favor,
For my talents, my creativity
And we sat beneath the palms
In the warm afternoons and drank the wine
With fitzgerald and huxley
And they pawned the biting phrase from the tongues hot with blood
And drained their pins of bitter ink
Vainly reaching for the bottle full of empty edens
Branded especially for the ones who had come with great expectations
To the perfumed halls of Allah, for their time in the sun

And we were stokin’ the fires and oilin’ up the machinery
Until the gods found out we had ideas of our own
And war was coming and the earth was shaking
And there was no more ruin in the garden of Allah

Today I made an appearance downtown
I am an expert witness because I say I am
And I said gentlemen, and I use that world loosely
I will testify for you, I’m a gun for hire,I’m a saint, I’m a liar
Because there are no facts, there is no truth
Just data to be manipulated
I can get you any result you like
What’s it worth to you?
Because there is no wrong, there is no right
And I sleep very well at night
No shame, no solution, no remorse, no retribution
Just people selling t-shirts
Just opportunity to participate in the pathetic little circus
And winning, winning, winning

It was pretty big year for predators
The marketplace was on a roll
And the land of opportunity
Spawned a whole new breed of men without souls
This year notoriety got all confused with fame
And the devil is downhearted babe, cause
There’s nothing left for him to claim

He said it’s just like home
It’s so low-down I can’t stand it
I guess my work around here has all been done

And the fruit is rotten, the serpent’s eyes shine
As he wraps around the vine,
In the garden of Allah
In the garden of Allah
In the garden of Allah

Songs of Sacrilege: High in Church by Trevor Moore

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This is the seventy-fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is High in Church by Trevor Moore.

Video Link

Lyrics

I’m high in church
I’m high in church
Oh Lord forgive me
This is the worst

I’m high in church
I’m high in church
Oh God please help me

This is the worst

Went home for Christmas
And Brian came over, I was nervous
Cuz he brought a bag of shrooms and pot
And I’m new to this, I’m just learnin’
Got a little too high on accident
Yeah that’s right, not on purpose
Then mom busted in my room
And said we have to go to midnight service
We’re in the minivan
And my friends don’t understand
I’m freaking out here man
Trying to remember who I am
My mom is talking to me
And that’s just making it worse

We walk into the lobby
Oh shit, I’m high in church

I’m high in church

I’m high in church
Oh God please help me
This is the worst

I’m high in church
I’m high in church
I’m high as hell
This is the worst

Went to go grab a pew
I’m freaking out, don’t know what to do
There’s an old war vet snoring next to me
And I think he’s been here since World War 2
I’m peaking here
I’m wigging out
They know I’m stoned
There is no doubt
Brian is reading the Bible and laughing
I plead for him to cut it out
But he’s giggling loud, he starts to cry
He’s turning red, I don’t know why
He’s like a goddamn neon billboard saying “Hey y’all, we’re super high”
I ask him what his problem is
And what’s making him laugh
He points to a verse that says
The Lord opened up the mouth of an ass
Oh my God, that’s super gross!
Why the hell is that in there?
My mom shushes both of us
And people turn around and stare
I take the book from Brian
The choir begins to sing
It dawns on me that I’ve never actually read this thing
I opened up the pages, and then start flipping through
I find it calms me down and gives my mind something to do
It says some beautiful things about forgiveness and love
’til I get to the end when God comes back
Wilds out, and straight up fucks Earth up!
Holy shit, did you know this?

Read this last part, what the fuck?
Spoiler alert, God comes back with dragons
And murders everyone!
What happened to the lovey-dovey stuff from the other verse?

Oh shit man, I can’t handle this right now, I’m high in church!

I’m high in church
I’m high in church

Oh God please help me
This is the worst

I’m high in church
I’m high in church
I’m high as hell
This is the worst

Need to get where no one can see
So I excuse myself to take a pee
But in the bathroom my old youth pastor
Comes up and stands next to me
Oh great, he’s probably gonna start yapping about how my soul is eternal
But instead he justs asks why my pants are down at the urinal
Oops, umm, sorry about that
Nice to see you, gotta go
Oh my God, I’m high as balls
And there’s no way he doesn’t know
Shit is getting out of hand
I’m getting higher
Need to make a plan
Maybe tell mom I’m sick
And try to get the keys to sleep this off in the van
I scoot back to my seat and notice everyone has stopped singing
The pastor asks if there is anyone here who is visiting

Mom gets excited, raises her hand
I tell her no, but she makes me stand
Pastor asks is I’m just here for Christmas
And I say “I am”
The congregation turns around
The pastor asks me how I’ve been
And that’s about when
The goddamn shrooms decided it was time to kick the fuck on in

“Trevor you’ve really done it now”
Holy shit, what’s going on?
What is that voice? I’m freaking out!
“This is Satan and you’ve summoned me to seal your doom”
Whoa, hold up, wait a minute
I don’t even think I believe in you
“I exist within subcounciousness down in your mind
But you did drugs and went to church, so now your soul is mine
For all eternity! You will never escape my clutch”
Okay uh, first of all I think that seems like a little much
A joint and couple caps and stems
Is that all that a soul is worth?
And God made everything I’ve done tonight!
All of it’s from the Earth!
The mushrooms and the pot, yo He made it all!

The nitrous, and the Adderall!
Muscle relaxers, maybe a little coke
But if that damns me for etenity
Then if you ask me the system’s broke!

Then Satan disappeared, and shrieked a shrieking sound!
I sent him back to Hell because I fucking stood my ground!
The church stares at me! Their eyes are open wide!
And the pastor asks if I’d stop shouting and please go outside

Uh, sure. Sorry, it’s just that…

I’m high in church
I’m high in church
Whatever man
I guess it could be worse
I’m high in church
That’s what I am
Sorry mom, I guess
I’ll be outside in the van
Whatever man
I’m gonna be out listening to the radio
Wake me up when you guys are done

Songs of Sacrilege: Gays Got Married by Trevor Moore

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This is the seventy-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Gays Got Married by Trevor Moore.

Video Link

Lyrics

I grew up in an American town
No locks on the doors
When we all bedded down
To sleep
Met a pretty young girl, and made her my bride
After church on Sundays, take the kids for a ride
Down the street
Swimming holes, catching fireflies in jars
Spend the evening staring at the stars

Then the gays got married (gays got married)
And the plant shut down (plant shut down)
And the crops dried up (the crops dried up)
Everywhere around (Everywhere around)
Then the gays started kissin’ (started kissin’)
And the state said “Cool” (cool)
And they made all the kids
Be gay in school
’cause them gays got married (gays got married)

They announced it on TV
Jumped in my truck and slammed reverse
I had to get to my family
Before the gay could get there first
Hauling ass down the interstate
In my throat I could my heart
I didn’t know how much time I had
Before all the orgies would start
And they’re grabbing guys like me
And they’re pulling us out of our trucks
And they’re kissing our lips, and nibbling our ears
And all sorts of sexy stuff
And they’re taking us out to fancy hotels
And partying the night away
And they’re saying how good we look in their shirt
When we wake up the next day
No, I dare not look back
To see what’s behind
They almost got me once
When I was surfing online
But as strong and straight as I know I am
Every man can be pushed too far
I’ve seen the devil, and the devil looks like
Mario Lopez in jean shorts washing his car
I pulled up into my house
And I quickly ran inside
I grabbed my lovely spouse
But I felt no love when I looked in her eyes
The gay had gone airborne
And I didn’t make it in time
My family unit
Had already been undermined
Because

The gays got married (gays got married)
And released gay spores (gay spores)
And all the straight people (all the people)
Weren’t in love no more (never love no more)
’cause them gays got married (gays got married)

Been in this bunker three long years
Canned food and recycled air
Yet I shudder when I think about
What must be happening up there
A radioactive scorched desertscape
Ruled by roving biker gangs
With scary tattoos and muscley arms
Blue eyes and super cute bangs
So I’ll seal myself off from everyone
And hide here until I die
Confused and angry, sad and alone
And I know the reason why…

’cause the gays got married (the gays got married)
The gays got married (the gays got married)
The gays got married (the gays got married)
The gays got married

 

Songs of Sacrilege: The Atheist Hymn by Intermittent Explosive Disorder

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This is the seventy-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Atheist Hymn by Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

Video Link

Lyrics

We pray to you, o nothing
To the cold and heartless void
And though you cannot answer
We never get annoyed
We worship Richard Dawkins and
The lovely Brian Cox
Who sport their heathen head-gear
And put on godless frocks

From “The God Delusion”
We divine our moral code
And from Mr Hitchens
A sacramental for the road
We reject your sky-god for
A sinful life, it’s true
We just want to blaspheme and
Have rampant bumming too

Every Sunday morning
Science opens all our eyes
We watch Carl Sagan’s “Cosmos” and
We bake fresh apple pies
Darwin’s theory is the
Sacred law by which we live
We denounce the profane
Creation hypothesis

Just one final thought we
Want to get in to your skull
This shit never happens ’cause
It’s not a faith at all
Atheism is the absence
Of belief in gods
It’s not a religion
Your argument’s a fraud …

… A-rseholes

 

Songs of Sacrilege: Atheist Funeral by Dan Sartain

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This is the seventy-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Atheist Funeral by Dan Sartain.

Video Link

 

Songs of Sacrilege: The Agnostic Gospel Song by Andy Corwin

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This is the seventieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Agnostic Gospel Song by Andy Corwin.

Video Link

 

Songs of Sacrilege: Turtles All the Way Down by Sturgill Simpson

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This is the sixty-ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Turtles All the Way Down by Sturgill Simpson.

Video Link

Lyrics

I’ve seen Jesus play with flames
In a lake of fire that I was standing in
Met the devil in Seattle
And spent 9 months inside the lions den
Met Buddha yet another time
And he showed me a glowing light within
But I swear that God is there
Every time I glare in the eyes of my best friend

Says my son, “It’s all been done
And someday you’re gonna wake up old and gray
So go and try to have some fun
Showing warmth to everyone
You meet and greet and cheat along the way”

There’s a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
Tell me how you make illegal
Something that we all make in our brain
Some say you might go crazy
But then again it might make you go sane

Every time I take a look
Inside that old and fabled book
I’m blinded and reminded of
The pain caused by some old man in the sky
Marijuana, LSD
Psilocybin, and DMT
They all changed the way I see
But love’s the only thing that ever saved my life

So don’t waste your mind on nursery rhymes
Or fairy tales of blood and wine
It’s turtles all the way down the line
So to each their own ’til we go home
To other realms our souls must roam
To and through the myth that we all call space and time

Note

Wikipedia defines the phrase “turtles all the way down” this way:

“Turtles all the way down” is a jocular expression of the infinite regress problem in cosmology posed by the “unmoved mover” paradox. The metaphor in the anecdote represents a popular notion of the theory that Earth is actually flat and is supported on the back of a World Turtle, which itself is propped up by a chain of larger and larger turtles. Questioning what the final turtle might be standing on, the anecdote humorously concludes that it is “turtles all the way down”.

Songs of Sacrilege: My Church by Maren Morris

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This is the sixty-eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is My Church by Maren Morris.

Video Link

Lyrics

I’ve cursed on a Sunday
I’ve cheated and I’ve lied
I’ve fallen down from grace
A few too many times
But I find holy redemption
When I put this car in drive
Roll the windows down and turn up the dial

[Chorus]
Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen
Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM
I find my soul revival
Singing every single verse
Yeah I guess that’s my church

When Hank reads the sermon
And Cash leads the choir
It gets my cold cold heart burning
Hotter than a ring of fire
When this wonderful world gets heavy
And I need to find my escape
I just keep the wheels rolling, radio scrolling
Until my sins wash away

[Chorus]

[Chorus]

[Chorus]

Can I get a hallelujah
Can I get an amen
Feels like the Holy Ghost running through ya
When I play the highway FM
I find my soul revival
Singing every single verse
Yeah I guess that’s my church
Yeah I guess that’s my church
Yeah I guess that’s my church

Songs of Sacrilege: Take Me to Church by Hozier

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hozier

This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Take Me to Church by Hozier.

 Video Link

Lyrics

My lover’s got humor
She’s the giggle at a funeral
Knows everybody’s disapproval
I should have worshiped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak
She’s the last true mouthpiece
Every Sunday’s getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week

‘We were born sick,’ you heard them say it

My Church offers no absolutes.
She tells me, ‘Worship in the bedroom.’
The only heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you

I was born sick,
But I love it
Command me to be well
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

If I’m a pagan of the good times
My lover’s the sunlight
To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea
Get something shiny
Something meaty for the main course
That’s a fine looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We’ve a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

No Masters or Kings
When the Ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am Human
Only then I am Clean
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Hozier explains what the song is about:

‘Take Me to Church’ is essentially about sex, but it’s a tongue-in-cheek attack at organizations that would… undermine humanity by successfully teaching shame about sexual orientation — that it is sinful, or that it offends God… But it’s not an attack on faith… it’s an assertion of self, reclaiming humanity back for something that is the most natural and worthwhile.

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.