Are You a Porno Freak?

porno freak at work

Debi Pearl Wonders What Her Husband Michael is Doing Behind Closed Doors

Snark and adult humor ahead.

According to Michael Pearl, a defender of the Quiverfull movement and of ritual child abuse, anyone who wants to work quietly and privately in his office or study is a porno freak. Here’s what Pearl had to say in the June/July 2015 No Greater Joy magazine:

Never trust your children, and don’t trust your spouse if any activity seems suspicious. My wife and my staff have complete access to my computer. The main server is beyond my reach. It maintains complete records of all my activity. I am never locked in a room by myself to “do my work without being disturbed.” I don’t own a cell phone, but if I did my wife and my staff would be on the account and be able to review all of my activities. If any adult is less open than I describe, they are porno freaks and need to repent. Don’t doubt it. “Provide things that are honest in the sight of all men.” (Romans 12:17)

No, Michael, those of us who prefer to work quietly and privately are not porno freaks. I had six children and the only way I could productively read and study was to have a private office where I could work undisturbed. I did not spend my time surfing porn sites and masturbating. It’s called discipline and self-control, traits sadly lacking in the Evangelical church. Did I ever look at porn as a pastor? Sure, but having dial-up service severely ruined the thrill. I had to wait until my post-pastor days when I got broadband service to indulge my inner porno freak. I quickly found out that, for me, watching porn was boring. Seen one blow job, seen them all. Like drinking beer–been there, done that, yuk, no thanks. (Not that I think there is anything wrong with a man or woman viewing porn as much or as little as he or she wants.)

Michael Pearl is another example of a weak pathetic Evangelical man who fears he will fall to the temptations of a porn-filled internet if left to himself. Pearl fears that, if left alone behind closed doors, he will surf on over to quiverfullbabes.com and give in to his inner porno freak. Viewing women with dresses above their ankles and daring to show their feminine shape, Pearl fears losing control and masturbating until he is as blind as Bartimaeus.

Pearl writes about all the safeguards he has in place to keep him honest, yet anyone with decent computer skills can easily hack and overcome these safeguards. Wouldn’t the safest approach be to not have a computer or the internet? The Bible says, neither give place to the devil and abstain from all appearance of evil. Surely, even booting up a computer is giving place to the evil one, right? And on this point we see the hypocrisy of Michael Pearl. He really should get rid of his computer and avoid anything that has to do with the internet. “If any Christian is unwilling to do as I prescribe, then  he is a secret porno freak,” thus saith Bruce Almighty. The reason Pearl has a computer and internet access is because it is the only way he can spread his Quiverfull STD to the masses. It is the only way he and Debi can rake in money from people who buy into their pernicious teachings.

Come on Michael…be a real Christian, get rid of your computer and cancel your dial-up service.

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9 Comments

  1. Brian

    If Pearl writes that I should never have a private office space, then I suspect I should indeed. If Pearl says I should correct my children harshly and with a God-switch, then I know in my heart I must never touch my child in anger and correction. If Pearl says hit them without anger because anger is bad, then I know that anger is a good thing and that I should allow it in myself and in my family as they please. Pearl delights in harming others and uses his Bible to justify his twisted gulag of a family. I know that he is greatly feared by those around him and that they must call it love. I know that he is doing harm that will stay with those under his hand for a whole lifetime of hurt.
    It is heartbreaking to see the routine harm done by evangelical beliefs, the wreckage of childhood, the demeaning of women, the fuzzy, warm hatreds of prayer.
    Thank-you for the research and sharing you offer here

    Reply
  2. geoff

    Guys like him are all about control.. They are pedantic , always correcting , finding fault, looking for sin and offences behind every nook and cranny. Control freak. They would fit right in if they were born in North Korea. or if he were born into Islamic fundamentalism

    Reply
    1. Ex-Canuck

      Yes it is all about control. Control of every little thing by the patriarch of the family. Much like the control gawd (the BIG patriarch) has over every little thing of every single person in the universe (his family).

      And we know what can happen when that control is too much for a young man such as josh duggar. Presumably, with jimbob around, poor josh had no access to a sexual outlet such as porn, other than watching and fantasizing over the actions of his aggressively sexual parents which were on display time and time again.

      But he did have his sisters, in their rooms down the hall, and he satisfied his curiosity (and likely his lust) with them, whether they were willing or not. This is what comes of the sickness that is the patriarchal quiverfull movement of fundamental christianity. Women are on earth for only two purposes: to be fecund and provide as many christian warriors as possible before their reproductive parts rupture, and to be available at all times for the pleasure of the man. Young josh simply availed of this.

      But hey, according to the adherents, everything is gawd’s will. Therefore, the pedophilia, incest and sexual abuse (rape??) of the minor duggar girls was gawd’s will. The parental coverup of josh’s crimes was gawd’s will. The coverup by the duggar’s church was gawd’s will. The coverup by the “police” official jimbob went to for advice (a person who himself was convicted twice of being involved with child pornography, and who is now serving a sentence of > 50 years) was gawd’s will.

      But now the immoral incestuous pedophile and his amoral evangelical apologists are facing the brunt of a moral society’s condemnation of their acts – and according to their beliefs, that too is gawd’s will. The irony is stunning.

      Reply
  3. Karen

    Michael Pearl must spend an enormous amount of his time obsessing on not watching porn. If he weren’t so powerful, he’d be pathetic.

    Reply
  4. Suzanne

    He makes me laugh with all his obsessing about porn. If he actually watched it he’d discover it’s very repetitive after a while. Big whoop..the Devil needs to be doing a better job luring people if that’s his whole game according to Michael Pearl..if there was a prince of darkness he’d have better porn.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Yes, I make no judgment on what others watch, but, for me, I prefer an R rates movie with an erotic element than I do gymnastics, let’s fuck, porn. I like the allure, the mystique…most porn is just anatomy class. Well that and showing normal, every day people sexual positions and acts they should never, ever try. 🙂

      We just switched from DISH to DIRECTV so we get three months of Cinemax, AKA Skinemax, free. The soft porn programs on Cinemax are downright awful. Polly and I will turn it on for 5 minutes, laugh like hell, and then switch to one of regular shows we’ve recorded.

      Reply
      1. Suzanne

        I like the erotic in movies more than violence. Had to actually walk away during Game of Thrones last night because I started to feel overwhelmed during the Battle of Hard Home.

        The hubby always picks on me that when I write fiction or watch movies I always go for the long drawn out sexual tension. That’s always way sexier to me that any porn I’ve seen.

        Reply
  5. theObserver

    Ahh dial-up porn. I remember well the five minute wait for a pixelated image of Pamela Anderson saved onto a 3.5″ floppy drive which inevitably got a bad sector on the trip home college. Good times.

    I was in my second year of college before we got the ‘internet’ installed properly and had no idea what it was. Then I saw my friend logging onto the Playboy website (his first ever use of the internet) and I suddenly understood its potential.

    Reply
  6. Stephanie

    How ridiculous! I have a computer with uncensored internet access, a cell phone and time alone! Then again, I am a heathen that lives with two other heathen roommates. Somehow, despite all this, I manage to not watch porn non-stop! Actually, I have watched porn and it does nothing for me. I find it boring, not that I think documenting sex acts is going to lead to the downfall of society. I know why some have problems with it but that ties into more of other problems such as exploitation, misogyny, unrealistic expectations, etc. But that is not what this guy is about. He just wants everyone to do as he says. He may (or may not) be a porno freak but he sure as hell is a control freak!

    Reply

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