Several weeks ago, Polly and I were in Fort Wayne to attend a baseball game. Polly made a wrong turn and we ended up driving by The Church on Fire, a United Pentecostal church. United Pentecostal churches are also called oneness churches because of their denial of Trinitarian theology. Here’s a few photographs of the church’s sign and its unique roadside prayer box.
“GuaranTEED RESULTS??” Does this mean I can ask to win Powerball & I WILL??!!
YES! You win! And if God decides you lose, then you win too! Get it? God is God and God is always right, therefore, you win! It’s a win-win, fer-sure! Wait, are you sure God is leading you to buy a lottery ticket? You do know gambling is a sin, right? You win! You’ll end up like that Merryweather fella, all punch’m down to the ground for millions! Win, win win!
Oh, geez, wait: It says on the sign, guaranteed results.
Aw shucks… that means something will happen, maybe anything, and a nothing is anything too, so, sorry, you lose… but listen now, you have a reallll nice day! Go win a soul for Jeebus or kill some stranger across an ocean for Freedom and the Amurkan Way! God is good! Amen! I’m on fire for the Lord!
I grew up in a Pentecostal church where miracles were just as common as in this one, I’m sure. When I look back on it I’m astonished and dismayed at how we could kid ourselves week after week that miracles were occuring when it was obvious to any objective mind that they weren’t.
Hi Bruce and friends. This is just a quick message to let Bruce and his blog followers know that I have established a new Christian blog at the following URL:
https://faith17983.wordpress.com/
This new blog is devoted to severe criticism of Christian fundamentalism, conservative evangelicalism, and the so-called Religious Right in the United States.
Recent statistics indicate that a full 88 percent of the children raised in Christian fundamentalist churches leave the faith tradition of their youth and never come back to those churches or churches like them again for the rest of their lives. My new blog is aimed at flushing the remaining 12 percent out of their pews and thereby depopulating both their churches and the Religious Right. The spiritual abuse cannot continue if there are no people left in the pews to abuse. I am also encouraging these people who escape to continue their faith and worship of Jesus Christ in churches that are both nonfundie and nonabusive.
If you would like to be a regular follower of the blog, then click on the “Follow Button” when you get there. If you are wondering why there is no button for commenting, just click on the “Blog Policy” button. I do not tolerate fundie bullshit in comments.
Charles, thank you for your new blog. Let me make a bold statement: The Internet is now complete!
OK…you guys are just too, too much! 🙂
Steve…notice how it says ‘results’…not GOOD results!
Brian…yuppers…miracles by the million! If you win, you win and if you lose, you lose. Ain’t that the most circular logic you’ve eva’ heard??
POLLY…Happy Mother’s Day 🙂
Charles…will check out your new blog and thanks for taking time to do it 🙂
My miracle for today…I made it to a burning church and lived to tell about it…ain’t god good???? What about the other people who were not so fortunate…ain’t god good???
Hi Bruce,
I commend Charles on his new blog and wish him luck. Perhaps, I should never have left any Fundamentalist comment on my blog which I discontinued. If I start a new blog, I will take a leaf out of Charles’ website on rules for commenting. The problem is that when you let one Fundamentalist comment freely, others want to take the opportunity and see it as a vehicle for personal abuse and to attack one’s personality for not being Fundamentalist. Thanks for sending me an email Bruce. Have a great day.
Shalom,
John Arthur
Glad to hear you are OK. When your blog was no longer active I was worried. I thought, hey, it’s my job to up and disappear.
That sign makes the church a tempting arson target. Wouldn’t that be ironic?
The church! the church! The church is on fi-re!
I’ve often thought my experience in the church would make for a great sitcom. Honestly, if you saw something like this stuff on TV you might be tempted to say that it was contrived. But it’s really not.
btw: my evangelical Christian high school was “Melodyland” and our nickname was the Flames. No, you can’t make this stuff up
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