Snark ahead. Girl and woman used interchangeably.
The shaming of the fairer sex by a Christian fundamentalist is on public display at Girl Defined: Getting Back to God’s Design. Today’s shaman is Beecher Proch. Part of a family singing group, 4 Proches, Proch has a blog and is part of Broch Productions, a Christian film company. You can also find Proch on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. He is a 2014 graduate of Pat Robertson’s Regents University and has written articles for several websites that cater to primarily a young female Evangelical Christian clientele, including Lies Young Women Believe and A Lovely Calling. I could find no articles by Proust on male focused sites, so it makes me wonder, with all the writing on female focused sites, if Proch is trolling for a covered up, hot Christian woman. Or, perhaps he is, oh, I don’t dare go there.
Proch views American culture this way:
In today’s culture modesty is totally out of style. The phrase that I’d say best describes the current trend would be “less is more – show your skin.” Skin is everywhere: billboards, magazines, social media – everyone everywhere seems to be attempting to show off as much skin as possible and draw as much attention to themselves as they can.
The American culture is constantly putting the *wrong* message into girls’ heads. “If you don’t flaunt what you’ve got, guys are going to pass you over and move on to the skin-revealing, midriff-baring, hottie.”
Right away, Proch uses the word “modesty, a word he never defines other than to suggest immodest is showing too much flesh. How much flesh showing is too much? A little leg, a little cleavage, a little shapely form?
Proch assumes to know why women dress the way they do. In his mind, any woman who exceeds his modesty standard is trying to attract attention to themselves or is out to get a man. I will leave it to the women who read this blog to educate the young, unmarried, and I assume virginal Master Proch.
Proch buys into the notion that men are visual and women are not. While men certainly demonstrate their desire through a gaze, a look, or a creepy look, women are also visually attracted to men and other women. After Polly and I deconverted, we talked about this subject many times. I wanted to know what type of men, beside the stud muffin she is married to, Polly was attracted to. At first, fearing it would offend me, she didn’t want to say. Now, she freely gives her opinion on the male form. She really liked the movie Magic Mike, a psychological thriller about a man who does magic shows for children. I am always surprised at the type and look of men she likes. I’ll see an attractive actor on TV and I’ll ask, do you find him attractive? The man I think she will think is hot is rarely right.
Each of us process the visual world differently. Do men view the world differently from women? Sure. But, is this a genetic difference or the result of social conditioning, parental training, religious influence, education, and personal likes and dislikes? Again, I will leave it to female readers to educate Proch.
Before Proch launches into his version of slut shaming, he makes it clear that:
…men are 100% accountable for where they put their eyes, and what they do with what they see once it enters their mind…
And then he says BUT,
…But I also know this: it sure is a blessing and encouragement when a woman makes the effort to dress modestly.
A woman who doesn’t reveal as much skin as she can shows love and consideration for the men around her striving to pursue godliness…
In other words, if women really love and care for weak, pathetic, helpless, sex-crazed, vagina seeking Evangelical men, they will make sure they watch Little House on the Prairie and Little Women to learn how to dress. Either that or let Proch educate them on exactly what the Bible says about modesty. According to Prouch:
Modesty is Biblical! It shows that a woman understands who she is in Christ and that she knows she’s valued by God. A woman’s body is beautiful and amazing. There’s no embarrassment in how different the shape of a woman’s body is from a man’s.
Modesty doesn’t hide the difference, it clearly acknowledges it with the correct attitude and focus on God’s creative differences in body shape. Immodesty focuses on the body with the wrong attitudes of lust, pride, and self-focus.
Proch demands that Evangelical women and women everywhere adhere to his understanding of modesty. He even gives some rules he wishes women would abide by. Remember, these rules are derived from his interpretation of the Bible, so this means that these rules were given to Proch by God on Mount Sinai:
- Dress modestly! Cover up the cleavage, ditch the short shorts, and go for some fashionable, but modest, clothing. Convictions in this area will differ, but I think we can all agree that clothing which blatantly draws attention to certain parts of your body isn’t modest. Do the mirror check before heading out the door.
- Think twice before posting that photo to social media. Are you holding your photos on Facebook and Instagram to the same standards you yourself hold in real life? Could the photos you post cause others to stumble? Here’s a great post by Kristen about seductive selfies that will challenge your posting standards.
- Ask yourself this catchy little phrase: “Is it too high at the bottom, too low at the top, or too tight around the curves?” Then respond appropriately.
Proch goes even further by suggesting that a woman can cover herself up and still have an immodest spirit and attitude. This spirit and attitude is shown in how the woman carries herself, whatever that means. I suppose he can look in a woman’s eyes or watch her walk and discern that she has an immodest spirit and attitude?
Here’s the bottom line for Proch; women need to get right with God. According to him, immodest dress is a sign of a heart problem:
I Corinthians 6:20 tells us to “…glorify God in your body.” The next time you go to put on those shorts with the 2 inch inseam, or the shirt that reveals cleavage, ask yourself, “Is this really glorifying to God? Will it direct people’s thoughts towards God, or will it lead them somewhere else with their thoughts (and eyes)?” Remember your ultimate end is to honor God with every single thing you do.
I know, nothing new here. Just another screed by an Evangelical man who blames women for the moral (using the word moral as Evangelicals do) failing of weak, pathetic, sex-crazed, visually stimulated Evangelical men. Out here in the evil world of unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines, men are generally required to own their sexuality. It is up to me to choose how I sexually respond to others. I am a married man in a committed, monogamous relationship. This fact determines the parameters of my sexuality. That said, my wife doesn’t scold or chide me when I enjoy female beauty or comment on the female shape. She gives me a boys will be boys look and is quite glad I still look at her the same way. Beecher Proch needs to grow up and spend some time in a world that is not dominated by Christian fundamentalism. Perhaps then he can learn to not blame women for the sexual ills of males. His post is little more than another example of the slut shaming that is all too common in Evangelicalism. (please see my recent post Dear Kristen Welch, How to Make Sure Your Teen Age Son Can’t Handle His Sexuality and Rebecca Davis Worried About Her Lustful Four Year Old Ogling A Woman Wearing a Bikini and other post on human sexuality)
I am listening to the 4 Proches album, Wayfaring Stranger. Nice, simple sound with religious overtones. Beecher is the lead singer. You can check out their music on YouTube:
The girl in the video is wearing a dress that is “too tight around the curves.” Oh, wait…he must mean DIFFERENT curves.
Okay, I like this music. But I probably won’t listen to it too much, since Beecher Proch and his sayings annoy me.
He would have had a snit fit or total meltdown by what I saw four rows ahead of me at my heathenish Methodist church staffed by homosexual abortionists this past Sunday. A fifty-ish lady wearing short shorts that were also low. Every single time she got up/sat down during worship everyone behind her got to see her crack and tramp stamp tattoo…..
I’m 50ish and I wouldn’t want to see that OR wear that. But for me it’s a matter of taste.
It was extremely distracting and inappropriate for sure. I was turned off..
Your post on this provoked a conversation between Polly and I about the tension between freedom and appropriateness. A person is FREE to get 666 tattooed on their forehead but they shouldn’t be surprised if they have a hard time getting a job. Last year Polly and I went to Marblehead to enjoy an afternoon at the Lake. There were lots of people there, ranging from old folks to families with children. One woman, grossly overweight and in her mid to late 30’s, decided to strip off her clothing, revealing a skimpy white bathing suit. Fat just rolled out the top, sides of the suit and. As a man, I found nothing attractive about the woman. While she certainly had the freedom to do what she did, I didn’t think it was appropriate for Marblehead, especially in a setting where such sites could cause old men to have a heart attack and children to ask Mommy, what’s that woman doing? For me, freedom wins, but that doesn’t mean I don’t shake my head and say, really?
I am a fat man who knows that how and what I wear affects how others view me. I could say, fuck them, I’m wearing a speedo. But, I don’t do that. I try to dress appropriately for my body size and where I am. Catch me at 11 PM in my home and you might see far more than anyone but Polly would ever want to see. 🙂
Of course, the greater debate is over who decides what is appropriate? Who makes the rules? Is this an age issue? Religious issue? Is my aversions to seeing what you saw in church a fundamentalist hang over? All these questions are worthy of discussion.
I struggle to define that too.. I just wish people realized anything is appropriate to wear …. in the right context… If you gross out others you likely need to rethink your clothing choices. Usually Wal Mart is our local repository of people wearing things that don’t fit and scare others..
But mine is more my mother’s voice in my head when I see things like that, not a hangover from religion. All my life my mother has pounded into my head that people judge you on appearance all the time. I’ve never taken it to her extreme but you better believe when I step out of the house to go anywhere, even the grocery store, I’m put together, the hair is done, the eyebrows plucked, the clothing is nice, comfortable and flattering, no booty shorts on this plump body. it makes a big difference in how people treat you I’ve learned. It’s wrong but it’s a fact.
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Well of course pretty girls are to blame to stirring up boy hormones. Boy hormones are not stirred up by seeing dogs or cats or rats or even cars (except for a 1972 Formula Firebird with the 455 high-output superblock engine with double 4-bbl carburetors, true dual exhaust, 4-speed manual transmission, and Hurst shifter).
Believe me, pretty girls can cause a whole pew of boys to lift a pocket rocket. And we can’t have that when it’s time to go to the altar rail for communion!!
Love it, Tex.
However the thing that would get my hormones going is a twin-nacelle, dual hulled, warp 6 cruising, 26 deck Constitution Class starship.
I’m a nerd, can’t help it. 🙂
Scott
Hey me too! And I’m generally indifferent to cars, but give me the USS Enterprise 1701! We’re all nerds here too. 😉
You know, Suzanne, when I read your comment via a posting from your blog (a bit more detailed than your repetition! here, I thought, “Well now, she sounds like a religious neurotic harping on about uniforms being legal or not!) I think your judgmental view, the tone of it, is in fact very much like I remember well from my religio-daze. Maybe you don’t like that leftover in you but I sure felt it. And any doubt I felt is sort-of washed away by your bringing it up here! What has your personal taste got to do with this Proche dude dumb-preach about appropriate dress?
There will always be offense to the eyes where freedom-to-be is allowed just as there will be delight. (I would hazard to suggest that that woman with the plumber’s bum is somebody’s sweet-thang.) Now go and gag yourself with a spoon… and stop going to places that make you so miserable. (I used to sit in church and look around rather than listen to my father preach. I would see misbuttoned shirts and skirts improperly tucked and all kinds of foible-fashion or lack of it. I am so happy to have become church-freee…. It took me several attempts but like smoking, you can beat the Christian urge if you just KEEP AT IT! Try again to avoid the smoke and bum cracks of faith….
(I don’t even what to begin to comment on the use of the term, “tramp stamp”…. sheesh. Where did that come from?
sorry about all the grammatical stuff…. it is too early for me… I need the ‘edit’ button.
Tramp Stamp is a term that refers to a large tattoo on the lower back that would normally be covered with clothing.
Nope, I felt this way about appropriateness and clothing long before I joined a church and then left it. It’s something from my childhood and my mother. I reject much of what they are doing in that church and only attend occasionally when begged/nagged by my husband. I feel the same way about this even if it happens in Wal Mart or at the symphony. There are times when booty shorts are not what you should be wearing.
I have noticed that inappropriate clothing seems to be way more prevalent in certain socio-economic groups, like it’s something that is never taught or discussed in some homes.
It’s not like this is Europe where nudity and speedos are a normal accepted part of society.
k, sure… I must admit that when I spent time in other cultures, my views on acceptable and tasteful were put on their head and spun! Now, I simply turn away if the view doesn’t please me but I stop well short of your mother’s and your arbitrary tastes… And your noticing that your views are confirmed by your observance of some socio-economic groups? By gully gooly golly, I am afraid to ask!
We did not teach our children to look a certain way and we have never restricted what they choose to wear. Things are far more free and varied now than every before which means for me, more delight and sometimes shock and dismay. You sound way strict to me. Are you suggesting that those with less money for instance might dress more offensively than your comfort zone? I am sure the feeling would be mutual among some of those people, that you are uptight and have rigid views… no?
I think there are social conventions and rules that govern how a person’s appearance will be perceived. It is simply an admission that “it is what it is.” For example, I hired hundreds of people over the years. A sure way to NOT get a job from me was to dress like a slob or look like you just woke up and grabbed something off the floor and put it on. Some female applicants thought that showing a lot of cleavage or going braless would get them the job. Nope.
There is a difference between freedom and what our culture accepts as norms. I am all for freedom of dress. However, don’t expect me to not have an opinion when you slouch into Walmart with your pajamas on. Like Suzanne, I am quite particular about how I look in public. It matters to me, and as an employer it really mattered to me. We taught our children the same and make no apology for it.
Perception, how we are viewed my others, matters. We can debate whether it should, but it does. If someone wants to dress is X manner, I support their right to do so. But, I also have the right to say, you know what, no one wants to see your ass hanging out, sagging boobs, etc. There is a time and place for everything…and in the work place and places the public gather, I think we should consider how what we are wearing will affect others and what it might say to others about us as a person. Yes, a man can wear a shirt with a confederate flag on it to a commemoration of Martin Luther King. Freedom, baby! However, his wearing of the shirt is offensive and shows no regard for others.
Now you can rightly question why I think this way as I would question why you think the way you do. Saying I have a religious hangover might have some merit, but I would then say that your view might be a reaction to your fundamentalist past. It’s all baggage, regardless of who is carrying it. My grandparents and parents were quite particular about how they looked when in the public eye. I suspect my personal views come from them and were not religiously driven.
I wish that Proch would just show a little honesty.
Basically, my guess is that Proch just really likes looking at women and he lusts. Welcome to the party!
Since, he has lusts and probably masturbates, he probably feels really guilty and ashamed, so what does one do when they have a lust problem in the church and gets ashamed by it?
They preach on it and they start a public campaign. They make all the women cover up, because I have a problem and feel guilty.