Snark and sarcasm
Another day, another faux outrage by Monica Cole and the sexually frustrated, batteries in the vibrator are dead, women of One Million Moms. Later this year, FOX plans on debuting a TV show titled Lucifer. FOX describes the show this way:
The Devil has come to Los Angeles…
Based upon the characters created by Neil Gaiman, Sam Kieth and Mike Dringenberg for DC Entertainment’s Vertigo imprint, LUCIFER is the story of the original fallen angel. Bored and unhappy as the Lord of Hell, LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR (Tom Ellis, “Merlin”) has abandoned his throne and retired to L.A., where he owns Lux, an upscale nightclub.
Charming, charismatic and devilishly handsome, Lucifer is enjoying his retirement, indulging in a few of his favorite things – wine, women and song – when a beautiful pop star is brutally murdered outside of Lux. For the first time in roughly 10 billion years, he feels something awaken deep within him as a result of this murder. Compassion? Sympathy? The very thought disturbs him – as well as his best friend and confidante, MAZIKEEN aka MAZE (Lesley-Ann Brandt, “The Librarians”), a fierce demon in the form of a beautiful young woman.
The murder attracts the attention of LAPD homicide detective CHLOE DANCER (Lauren German, “Chicago Fire”), who initially is dismissive of Lucifer. But she becomes intrigued by his talent for drawing out people’s secrets and his desire to dispense justice, doling out punishment to those who deserve it. As they work together to solve the pop star’s murder, Lucifer is struck by Chloe’s inherent goodness. Accustomed to dealing with the absolute worst of humanity, Lucifer is intrigued by Chloe’s apparent purity and begins to wonder if there’s hope for his own soul yet.
At the same time, God’s emissary, the angel AMENADIEL (DB Woodside, “Suits,” “24”), has been sent to Los Angeles to convince Lucifer to return to the underworld…can the Devil incarnate be tempted toward the side of Good, or will his original calling pull him back toward Evil?
One Million Moms is outraged over FOX’s unbiblical, humanizing presentation of Lucifer. In a May 2015 post urging Mommies to sign a petition demanding FOX drop the program, Cole wrote:
FOX has plans in 2016 to air “Lucifer,” a new series which will glorify Satan as a caring, likable person in human flesh.
The series will focus on Lucifer portrayed as a good guy, “who is bored and unhappy as the Lord of Hell.” He resigns his throne, abandons his kingdom and retires to Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
At the same time, God’s emissary, the angel Amenadiel, has been sent to Los Angeles to convince Lucifer to return to the underworld.
Previews of the pilot episode depict graphic acts of violence, a nightclub featuring scantily-clad women and a demon…
Today, I got an email from Monica Cole and One Million Moms with the subject line “We are missing your name on the ‘Lucifer’ petition.” I thought, I bet you are. Here’s what Cole had to say in her email:
Very soon, One Million Moms will deliver a petition to FOX television network, urging them to cancel plans to air a new series which will glorify Satan as a caring, likable person in human flesh.
We want to include your name, letting FOX know that Christians are standing together!
The previews for “Lucifer” misrepresent Satan, depart from true biblical teachings about him, and inaccurately portray the beliefs of the Christian faith. In airing this show, FOX will be disrespecting Christianity and mocking the Bible.
Add your signature today! 1MM and our children are counting on you!
It’s a pretty slow news day when the biggest thing on your outrage radar is a TV program that “misrepresents Satan.”
Cole whines that FOX’s show disrespects Christianity and mocks the Bible. Aww…so sorry.
Here’s my take. Tom Ellis is an attractive actor and we can’t have fundamentalist Christian women getting all hot and bothered over an attractive Lucifer. If this happened, fundamentalist women would be forced be dig deep into their underwear drawer and find their vibrator so they can satisfy their “need.” But, Bruce, they have a husband who will dutifully perform the missionary service. What self-respecting fundamentalist Christian woman would want to have sex with Billy Bob when they can fantasize about having sex with Lucifer and turn their Passion Rabbit or Ladygasm vibrator on H-I-G-H.
Proving my point, as of today, the Lucifer petition has 19,048 signatures. If you want to add your name, or better yet a fake name, please go here.
Here’s my petition submission. I encourage you to be creative and let Monica Cole know you support her attempt to defend Lucifer.
I have written about One Million Moms before: One Million Moms Offended Over Old Woman Flashing Her Husband in Taco Bell Commercial, One Million Moms Outraged Over Women Not Wearing Underwear, One Millions Moms Says a Boy is a Boy Even if She is a Girl, The Bankruptcy of the Evangelical Gospel, and Follow the Money: The American Family Association and their Support of the Gay Agenda.
It’s quite hard to think of a reply to this that is witty without being crude. So I’ll just say ‘pathetic’.
Incidentally, I’ve always thought that Satan comes across in the bible as being a much more likeable guy than god.
John Milton made Lucifer rather likeable too.
Isn’t Lucifer being likeable the whole point? If temptation wasn’t fun, enjoyable and downright sexy, it wouldn’t be tempting. And of course, Lucifer started out as a good guy, so reform is not so impossible once he has a had enough with the dark side of humanity.
What is wrong with these women that they can’t divorce fantasy from real life? Just sit back and enjoy the show. And re-enjoy it later on by yourself. (TFI?)
Just had a quick look at the trailer for this show. Yummy, yummy. Bet those million mummies will be watching it on the sly.
Hi Bruce. I love your stuff. I’ve written to you and posted on your comments before over the last few years although sparingly. I am also out of the church although I haven’t yet made it farther than agnostic. I don’t know what I believe but I know NA “christianity” isn’t real. I say all this so you won’t think I’m a troll.
What I do want to say is, if you think about it and agree, when you are talking about a woman that you don’t agree with, could you please quit saying things conflating disagreeing with you and women who you imagine may be sexually frustrated and have vibrators without batteries. When I see that stuff it is distracting and it takes away from your message. Making those kinds of degrading sexual comments makes it sound like you don’t respect women and i know that is not the case. I believe you are the opposite of degrading towards women. I’m just asking, in case you hadn’t realized, you are obviously are a grown ass person and can write whatever you like. Just wanted you to know.
In the case of One Million Moms, I have long contended that, at the heart of their objection to modern culture lies sexual frustration. They are part of a religious culture that does not allow men or women to sexually free. (no matter how they tell themselves otherwise)
There was no intent to degrade women. When I write posts like this I always preface them with snark/sarcasm/adult humor, etc. I hope readers will see the humor in what I am writing. I realize you don’t and I respect that. MY wife, on the other hand, read my post before I published it and she thought it was funny.
I do appreciate your comment and I will certainly consider your objection as I continue to work at becoming a better writer.
Bruce
wrote a similar article to this after the unbiblical movie ‘Noah’ came out last year. My take is that Fundamentalists are terrified of these recent attempts to turn Biblical deities and demigods into superheroes because they see how it just turns them into one more comic book adventure story. Look at what Marvel Studios have done with Thor. They have taken a deity of an ancient Germanic religion and turned him into modern Marvel mythology. Last year was Noah. This year is Lucifer. I think Fundamentalists are terrified because they see the handwriting on the wall. A comic book adventure movie about You Know Who is not far behind. It will happen sooner than you think. The movie Constantine with Keanu Reeves was already not too far off the mark.
It annoys me that they complain that this doesn’t accurately portray christian beliefs, as if that is at all the point of the show… Do they think everything has to be about their beliefs (I know that the answer is yes). Aaugh!
I will definitely be watching the show though, I am a huge Sandman/Neil Gaiman fan.
Always imagined Satan looking more like a Southern Baptist minister