Quote of the Day: The “Sophisticated” Theology of Non-Fundamentalist Christians

sophisticated theology

Skeptic:  Do you really believe that the universe was created in six days?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  “Six days” is a metaphor for a very long, long period of time.

Skeptic:  Do you really believe that the entire earth was covered by water from a great flood?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  When God said “the entire earth” was covered by flood waters that was metaphorical for a flood of the entire known world in which Noah lived.  It was a regional flood.  It was a flood of Noah’s entire world.

Skeptic:  Do you believe that all the many languages on earth derive from the Tower of Babel?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  The story of the Tower of Babel is an allegory to demonstrate the power of God in the face of humankind’s sinful arrogance.

Skeptic:  Do you believe that Jonah really lived in the belly of a fish for three days?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  This is another allegory.  It was told as an allegorical prophecy of Jesus’ burial in the tomb.

Skeptic:  Do you believe that Jesus of Nazareth was born of virgin; that his father was a (holy) ghost; that he walked on water; turned water into wine; exorcised demons, sending them into a herd of pigs; healed blindness; raised people from the dead; flew to the pinnacle of the Temple with a devil; reattached a man’s severed ear to his head; and after he was publicly executed, came back to life, appeared to his former fishing buddies to share a broiled fish lunch; and finally, that he levitated off the top of a mountain into outer space where he currently sits on a golden throne as Lord and Master of the universe?

Sophisticated Christian:  Of course.  That is what the Bible literally says, you God-hating fool!

— Gary,  Escaping Christian Fundamentalism, Silly Atheist. Unlike You, Sophisticated Christians Can Distinguish When the Bible is Speaking Literally and Figuratively, July 16, 2019

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5 Comments

  1. ObstacleChick

    Literalists are definitely consistent in their willingness to accept the absurd as truth.

    Reply
  2. John

    Yikes! This so true… and so cringe-worthy. I’ve watched several of the Atheist Experience videos on YouTube and this sounds like so many of the folks who call in to the show.

    Reply
  3. Melissa A Montana

    This is why I hate discussing the book of Revelations. It’s all metaphor-until they say it ain’t.

    Reply
  4. DoctorDJ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C3T17aKPCI
    Sophisticated Christian William Lane Craig: “The way in which I know Christianity is true is first and foremost on the witness of the holy spirit in my heart. This gives me a self-authenticating means of knowing that Christianity is true, apart from the evidence.”

    How can anyone take this logic seriously???

    Reply
    1. GeoffT

      …and William Lane Craig is the top man, ‘la creme de la creme’. If he doesn’t make sense then they really are doomed!

      Reply

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