Well-intentioned Evangelical Christians read this blog and come to the conclusion that what I lack is love from compassionate, caring Christians.
They assume that there is no love in Fundamentalist Baptist Christianity. They assume Fundamentalist Baptist Christianity is all hate and law, and no grace.
Their assumption is quite wrong. I met many loving people in the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church movement, and Evangelicalism at large. Their love may have been conditioned on my fidelity to their brand of truth, but they loved me nonetheless (and I loved them too).
My wife’s parents were Fundamentalist Baptist Christians, yet they loved me still.
So a lack of love is not the problem.
I tend to distrust people who tell me upfront about how loving they are. Such people are similar to a car dealer who tells you how honest he is or a doctor who tells you how proficient he is. Why do these people NEED to tell me this?
Often, those loving Christians prove to be anything but loving.
Many people think my defection from Christianity was an emotional decision. Certainly, there was an emotional component, but my decision was primarily and ultimately an intellectual one.
The compassionate, caring, loving Christians want me to try their flavor of ice cream. Their flavor is different. It’s not like all those other flavors.
After all, THEY are special and want me to be special too.
So, let me ask the compassionate, caring, loving Christians a few questions.
- Can I deny the Bible is the Word of God and still be a part of your church?
- Can I question whether God exists and still be a part of your church?
- Can I deny the Trinity and still be a part of your church?
- Can I tell everyone at church that Hell is a medieval fable and still be a part of your church?
- Can I pass out books by Bart Ehrman and Richard Dawkins at church and still be a part of your church?
- Can I espouse universalist beliefs and still be a part of your church?
- Can I openly affirm pro-LGBTQ, pro-abortion, pro-drug, pro-sex worker views and still be a part of your church?
The compassionate, caring, loving Christians want to convince me that their church is different; that it is special.
But it isn’t.
They know it, and so do I.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.
Mint chocolate chip, definitely mint chocolate chip. If thou disagreest that mint chocolate chip is not the holiest of all ice cream flavors then thou be in great error and in peril of hell fire.
-Book of Jimmy Chapter 2, verse 59.
Well, I’m saved by the grace of mint choc chip, which is certainly divine!
Ah, ice cream !! I’ve heard that Midwestern states have higher butterfat content in their brands there ,compared to Cali. I’d love to see if this is true,that ice cream back there is just better. Especially the parlor versions. One may be done with churches, but always will love ice cream !
“We’re nice until we’re not, meaning you’re bringing sin into our flock. Then you need to change or leave.” – Christians.
I guess it’s hard for them to deal with people who don’t agree that these Christians have the absolute truth.
Bruce,
Been reading your blog off and on over a period of a couple of years, but much more recently, and this is my first comment. I recently emailed you via the contact form, but understand you are busy and have health issues to deal with. So, I will disclose that I am a Christian, but currently not a part of any church building. Your post above leads me to ask a question. Regarding your list of questions for “compassionate, caring, loving Christians”… I view a lot of churches as clubs, because that’s how they operate. Why would you want to join a club whose beliefs don’t align with yours? They also operate as a business in many ways, meaning that they are private property open to the public… If you go against whatever “rules” they have in place, they can have you removed from the property. Can they stop you from passing out books in front of the church on the sidewalk, heck no.
Some of those items you question would be regarded as items you must agree with to join the church, not necessarily attend. Personally, I have my beliefs about things that are right and wrong (as we all do) but it’s not my job to judge people. I have enough issues to deal with in my own life. I have many friends that are far from Christians and we get along fine. We don’t have to agree on everything to be friends. More people in this country need to realize that.
I would be interested in the family lives of those “loving” Christians. Do they love their children—as long as they don’t come out as LGBTQ, become Democrats or read banned books?