17. THEY DON’T HAVE A PLAN FOR INTENTIONAL PARENTING!
Some of my unsaved friends appear [love Dixon’s use of the word “appear”] to be great fathers and mothers. But, can we talk? That’s only because they are borrowing parenting skills from Christianity — and probably don’t know it. [Really? I mean REALLY?] Others of my friends aren’t loving their spouse as they should, allow their children to have whatever they want whenever they want it, and invest zero minutes in training their children in godliness. [You mean like countless Evangelical marriages? I was a pastor for twenty-five years. Oh the stories I could tell about “good” Christian marriages and how they “raised” their children.]
….
One of my unsaved friends [I wonder if Dixon’s unsaved friends are aware that he is gossiping about them on his blog?] is making some poor choices in his family. He loves his daughter much more than his wife. He doesn’t feel he is respected by either. He simply doesn’t have the foundation to be the spiritual leader in his family. And, sadly, I don’t think their marriage is going to make it.
However, good news! This friend has agreed to have a Bible study with me on the gospel of John! Pray that he will come to Christ and become the husband and father God wants him to be. [Ah, yes, reading the gospel of John, agreeing to a set of Bible propositions, and praying the sinner’s prayer is a magic elixir sure to fix whatever ails your marriage and family. Again, I was an Evangelical pastor for twenty-five years. Dysfunction was the norm, not the exception.)
— Larry Dixon, Bless-ed! 52 Blessings Your Lost Friend Doesn’t Have . . . And What You Can Do About It! (Part 17), February 6, 2022
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Now that I’ve been away from Christianity, and any other faith system, for some time, I wonder how marriages and families rooted in Christian faith can be anything but dysfunctional. After all, a central tenet of Christianity is that the man is the head of the household, the woman is to be submissive and silent, and the children are supposed to be unquestioningly obedient. Such a setup can result in healthy families and relationships only if the man’s intentions are always benevolent and flawlessly executed and the woman unquestioningly trust–and the children unquestioningly obey–him. Perhaps I don’t know human nature well enough, but what I’ve described doesn’t seem to be the norm–or normal–for humans.
Or, perhaps people like Larry, who teach and live within dysfunctional Christian relationships, look at other people in successful, equal, balanced, normal relationships and judge them dysfunctional based on their own broken relationships?
No…surely that can’t be the issue.
Complementarianism is inherently dysfunctional. Christian parenting seems to be about controlling children through fear and physical punishment. No thank you.