In the book of Genesis we find the story of Noah and the Ark. While many people of faith understand that this story is a work of fiction, Evangelicals believe that Noah really did build an Ark. Noah gathered his family and two of every animal on the boat, safe from the deluge of rain God sent upon the earth, killing every man, woman, child, fetus, lion, lamb, horse, dog, cat, elephant . . . you get my point. God killed everyone save the eight people and the animals safely ensconced upon the Ark. According to Bishop James Ussher’s chronology (Ussher was a 17th-century primate in the Church of Ireland) the earth is currently 6,024 years old. Ussher believed that Noah’s flood took place in 2348 BCE. Ussher’s dates are still used by many Evangelicals today.
One of the first Bible stories told to toddlers and children in Evangelical Sunday school classes and children’s church programs is the story of Noah and the Ark. Of course, rarely are children told the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God. Typically little is said about God’s genocidal rage or the fact that he drowned children, babies, and fetuses all because of the lifestyles and religious choices of their parents. Instead, the story of Noah and the Ark is framed as a picture of God’s grace. Genesis 6:8 says Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. The Ark, then, is viewed as protection from the storms of life and the Hell to come for all those who repent of their sins and put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ. Those outside the Ark, drowning in the waters of the “world,” are atheists, agnostics, humanists, secularists, Catholics, Mormon’s, Jehovah’s Witnesses . . . you get my point. Everyone except bought-by-the-blood, born-from-above Evangelicals is outside the Ark, being murdered by God, only to later have their bodies resurrected and renovated so they can stand eternal, everlasting pain and torment in the Lake of Fire. And all God’s people said, AMEN! WHAT AN AWESOME GOD WE SERVE.
While adult Evangelicals believe the story of Noah and the Ark is actual history, the story is often used as a metaphor: the Ark is a place of safety for Christians from the onslaught of the “world.” Let me illustrate this point with the lyrics from the southern gospel song, Build the Ark:
Build an ark, head for the open water
Save your sons and your daughters
Build an ark
Build an ark when the storm is ended
You’ll know the world has been mended
Build an ark
I’m tired of all the villains
Tired of all the killins’
Tired of the men who make the laws
And break ’em any time they please
I’m tired of all the big lies
Where are all the good guys?
Sometimes I swear I feel the way
That Noah did when the Lord commanded
Build an ark, head for the open water
Save your sons and your daughters
Build an ark
Build an ark when the storm is ended
You’ll know the world has been mended
Build an ark
My father and my mother
My sisters and my brothers
All of the friends that I care about
And the woman that I’ve learned to love
I’ll gather them together
And promise them forever
We’ll be safe from the world around us
All we have to do is to love each other
Build an ark, head for the open water
Save your sons and your daughters
Build an ark
Build an ark when the storm is ended
You’ll know the world has been mended
Build an ark
I’ll gather them together
And promise them forever
We’ll be safe from the world around us
All we have to do is to love each other
Build an ark, you’ve got to head for the open water
Save your sons and your daughters
Build an ark
Evangelicalism is inherently anti-culture. According to the Build the Ark lyrics, the “world” is pressing upon and oppressing Evangelicals. The “world” around them is wicked and evil, going to Hell in a handbasket. Instead of engaging their culture and performing transformative good works, Evangelicals flee to the safety of their Arks: churches, parachurch ministries, and homes. I wrote about this very thing in three posts titled The Replacement Doctrine: How Evangelicals Attempt to Co-opt the “World,” The Evangelical Replacement Doctrine, and 2006: It’s Time to Leave the Christian Ghetto and Become “Worldly” for Jesus.
In recent years, Evangelicals have begun to wander outside the safety of their metaphorical Ark. Why is that? It seems Evangelicals are tired of waiting for Jesus to return to earth to slaughter all the non-Evangelicals. They are tired of waiting out the storm in a crowded boat filled with stinky animals and excrement. Unwilling to “tarry until Jesus returns,” Evangelicals, drunk with the wine of naked political power, have decided to wage war against the “world.” This thinking has morphed into Trumpism, aptly displayed on January 6, 2021, as insurrectionists tried to overthrow the U.S. government. Post-January 6 we have seen nothing that suggests that Evangelicals are returning to the Ark any time soon. This makes me wonder if the next judgment God sends to earth will be that of Evangelicals who have traded their birthright for a bowl of pottage. (Genesis 25:29-34)
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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With the number of white evangelicals who fervently support Trump, it seems that many of them have also embraced Qanon. Qanon replaces Jesus Christ as the savior, and makes (barf) Donald Trump the Chosen One. If they are right about their inerrant Bible says, doesn’t it mean they are all going to Hell due to being idolaters worshipping a false god?
Bruce, I forgot to click “Notify me of new comments via email” so feel free to fix that. Anyway, if you can’t I’ll just click on it this time.
I’ve always been a fan of Larnelle Harris’s music and Russ Taff’s music. Both guys bring back fond memories. Having stated that….
My question is: How much money were all these guys (including Larnelle and Russ) paid to participate in this video where everyone sings a gleeful ditty of God destroying the planet? No doubt, everyone’s contract required some kind of monetary compensation, while these pro-Lifers are recorded lifting their hearts in song about the intentional deaths of newborns and toddlers.
It seems you provoked a response. See if you can guess who it’s from 😉
[Quote]We have written on this topic before and while we do not like repeating topics that much, this is one that needs repeating. The reason is simple, unbelievers do not allow God to have the same rights, freedoms, and abilities that they enjoy and employ.[/quote]
I’ve seen variations of this argument from different sources. The bit that stood out for me is the idea that somehow, unbelievers are restricting God’s rights, freedoms and abilities?! We’re talking about an omnipotent and omnipresent being here. How could any mere mortal restrict such a being? Is criticism somehow restricting God?
It seems TEWSNBN does not wish us to be critical of God’s rules, even when (assuming God exists in the format put forward by Christianity) those rules are responsible for a lot of senseless killing and suffering. TEWSNBN might argue (and does argue) that God isn’t murdering but punishing, but these ‘punishments’ are arbitrary and cause tremendous suffering.
I saw that. Evidently, my post got stuck in his craw. He vomited up this mess of incoherence:
“We tend to get a little upset when atheists and other unbelievers call God a murderer. Their name-calling and labeling are uncalled for especially since it only presents a very distorted view of God.
We have written on this topic before and while we do not like repeating topics that much, this is one that needs repeating. The reason is simple, unbelievers do not allow God to have the same rights, freedoms, and abilities that they enjoy and employ.
We grew up around both Christians and non-Christians and we have faced this topic many times over the years on different discussion forums. Everyone involved in those situations had their own rules for participation in those forums, for their children, and their organizations.
Every last one of them also had punishments for those who disobeyed those rules. Not one person was accused of committing a crime when they exercised their freedom to punish those who disobeyed the rules.
Many a child had a sore bottom in our childhood era for disobeying their fathers and mothers and a myriad of people were expelled from the different organizations and discussion forums where they violated the rules.
Yet not one person was insulted as badly as atheists and unbelievers insult God. The ironic or hypocritical thing about these same atheists and unbelievers is that even today, they will not call governments and corporations, who fire or demand to be fired unvaccinated people, murderers, or even criminals.
There are untold thousands of parents, single moms, single men, and women, who are not able to provide for their families simply because they do not want to take a shot.
But they feel free to insult and accuse the God who gave them life simply because he set the example for the world on what to do with those who do not obey the rules.
Yes, God has punished many people over the years for their disobedience and some have lost their lives because of their use of free choice to follow what was wrong.
God created everything, God set the rules for everyone from the beginning, God has also said from the beginning what those punishments would be. No one who chooses to disobey God’s rules has the right to whine or complain.
They knew upfront exactly what was expected of them. To turn around and call God a murderer when he enforces his rules is uncalled for and out of bounds. Especially when they do not know the hearts of those punished.
They also distort the circumstances to justify their hatred of God for acting like he said he would.
Those outside the Ark, drowning in the waters of the “world,” are atheists, agnostics, humanists, secularists, Catholics, Mormon’s, Jehovah’s Witnesses . . . you get my point. Everyone except bought-by-the-blood, born-from-above Evangelicals is outside the Ark, being murdered by God, only to later have their bodies resurrected and renovated so they can stand eternal, everlasting pain and torment in the Lake of Fire
What the unbeliever leaves out of this scenario are the 120 years God gave Noah’s fellow citizens to repent and get on the ark. Not one ancient record tells any account where a mother or a father advocated Noah or his family to take their babies or children with them on the ark. NOT ONE.
Is it God’s fault that they chose to reject salvation? if anyone is going to be labeled a murderer, it should be those parents and children who rejected salvation”
Tee allegedly has a theology degree, yet his post shows little understanding of basic Christian theology.
I didn’t see Noah inviting the others around him onto that ark. And it wasn’t him, but God,who shut and sealed that door.. . . Tee needs to remember that. So God is murderous. Moses had an issue with that trait of God’s. It is what it is. Now, Satan is the same way. Where did he learn all that from??
I think a test for voting should include the question ‘do you literally believe the story of the Flood and of the Ark?’. If the answer is yes then the individual loses the right to vote on the basis of mental impairment. Of course, one problem is that those seeking to restrict voting rights would probably look to the reverse!
hmmm, I have a great island that these idiots can have as their “ark”. The Kerguelen Islands are a perfect place! Just a bit north of Antarctica.
as for the noah flood, it’s just one more bit of evidence that the abramic religions are sadistic garbage.
Well, hot diggidy dawg! I have not heard this most illuminating song before! (Up here in the land of igloos, we have missed out on so much Amurkan light-hearted sing-song!) Build an ark indeedy! Every well-padded, dressed-up Christianite ensconced in a comfortable easychair and singing about drowning most of life on earth! Praise the peacemaker, baby Jesus! By golly, I should have invested in Kool-Aid!
And the ‘doctor’ who refers to himself as ‘we’ fits this gathering to a Tee!
He (I mean they) will be delighted to know they belong in one of the empty seats in the front row.
I don’t remember hearing that song before , how awful it is!
I remember the Noah’s Ark story being presented in a way that the victims if drowning were warned over and over again and chose not to repent, so what’s a God to do but drown them all, shrug? I felt so bad for all the animals and thought that God was mean for drowning all of them. It is interesting as an adult to find out how many cultures had flood myths – I guess messages like water is cleansing, water is necessary but can kill you, etc….are universal.
You’re right about the quality of that song, Obstaclechick. It’s so bad! 😝
I am struck by the message in the song, that the singer is distressed by the troubles of the world, and their solution is to gather up their close family and escape. Reminds me of desperate people in various places around the planet, launching themselves into the ocean, in an attempt to reach shores where their very lives are not imperiled every hour, every minute. Places like…the US. Also Canada, or other Western democracies.
And yet, the people singing this song are undoubtedly mostly living in the US, a place where they can get off their asses and engage with the political process, and maybe help the troubles of the world. Oh, and do it without fearing a midnight visit from government or paramilitary security thugs. (At least if they’re white, or don’t live in a community where cops think it’s okay to do midnight drug raids on insufficient evidence, but that’s another issue.)
I do realize that my country has oodles of problems, I really do. I am not a rah-rah pseudo-patriot. But the idea that those of us without the correct beliefs should all be drowned, because members of a religion think they’re better than we are and can just have a happy forever existence if the rest of us all disappeared, is complete and utter BS. They’re still human, and all this stuff about being guided by the Holy Spirit is not supported by any objective evidence.
According to their own Bible, after the flood and Noah’s family repopulated the earth, humanity went right back to being human. I don’t understand how modern Christians can’t understand that left to their own devices, they’d do exactly the same thing.
Tribalism is far from dead. Critical thinking, though, might be close to it.
Well, if god drowned everyone ouside the ark then he must have drowned pregnant women. Doesn’t this make the Fundamentalist god the greatest abortionist ever?
It never occurs to Fundamentalists that stories like a unversal flood are simply myths. There is no archaelogical evidence for a universal flood.
The story itself has internal contradictions. In Gen.6: 19-20, two of every kind of animal etc. Is to be broght into the ark. Yet in 7:2-3, 7 pairs of the clean animals are to be brought into the ark.
How could the boat’s size be big enough for all the animals and birds to enter, even if only one pair of each entered? What about all the unique animal species from Australia? Many of these couldn’t swim.
What does the Fundamentalist do with these? Does he/she have to resort to things the text doesn’t say? E.g. God teleported them or Noah was the first to row in another boat to Australia and did thousands of trips to bring these animals to his Ark, etc. ?
That song really is awful. But I expect no better from fundie music.
To me, the appeal of the Ark story to Evangelicals—especially those with a Calvinist bent—is simple:
All of the beings on the Ark were “chosen,” if you will.
I wonder: Did the life-forms Noah curated include a proto- COVID-19 virus? HIV? If the latter was included, it would be interesting to learn how it was preserved and hidden until 1983, when Luc Montaignier (who passed away just the other day) discovered it.
The Ark story also helps to explain why 85 percent (if I’m not mistaken) of white Evangelicals voted for Trump: He promises to protect those who align themselves with him by destroying those who don’t. In other words, he tells them he will do what God did, and his supporters see themselves as Noahs, protecting themselves and their children.
Of course, because they are living a fantasy, they can’t see his little fingers crossed behind his back. He sometimes manages to destroy his own foes, if not those his supporters see as threats. But he never, ever protects anyone but himself and a few in his orbit—just like the God his fans claim to believe in.
The really amazing thing is that the kangaroos left the ark and then hopped thousands of kilometers back to Australia, carrying their dead (at least their bones) along with them, since there is no fossil evidence of kangaroos having been outside of Australia. The miracle is that they did all of that without opposable thumbs!
Eh, after four decades of being a servant of various cats, I’m still amazed at what they can manipulate with those opposable-thumb-free paws.
But I’m sure God would have made backpacks for the kangaroos, so they could carry the bones of their dead to Australia. The zipper pulls would have had little bungee cord loops, so that kangaroo paws could manipulate them easily. Just because sporting goods stores and big-box hardware stores didn’t exist on earth yet, shouldn’t be a problem for a deity who exists outside the space-time continuum.