Guest Post by Troy
Pat Robertson died last week, and this got me thinking about a couple of stories from when I used to watch. Back in the early 90s, we got cable television after a long wait living in the boonies. (I was a commuter college student living with my parents.) One source of amusement for me (and one of my brothers) was Pat and his 700 Club. In fact, I called Pat’s 700 Club the “other comedy channel.” Pat had some hilarious antics — “word of knowledge” where he’d “heal” someone in the audience. I always laughed when he’d squint his eyes down so hard when he’d pray that I’m certain he thought that was the key to its delivery to God. While most secular people I’ve seen were saying “Good Riddance” to Pat, I actually wish he had made it to his predicted Biblical 120. It seemed his antics got crazier the older he got, and they’d bring him in for occasional commentary (and jocularity).
The 700 Club had a great cast of characters. Pat of course, who looked like some sort of Tolkienesque gremlin, Scottish Sheila Walsh (Oh Pat, thar out thar on tha straits! They ‘haint got no food! We haf to teach ’em about Jaysus!”), Church lady Terry Meeuwsen and Ben Kinchlow “The Black Colonel Sanders.”
Story One
Pat (who always had his ear to the ground for crazy news) had heard an end-of-the-world prediction that the world would end on Thursday, June 9th, 1994. During an entire week that I was watching crazy Pat on the 700 Club he was talking about June 9th over and over again. We college kids liked to stay up late, and sometimes really late. In fact, it was so late it was early . . . I’m wide awake at 2:30 a.m. watching the 700 Club. Spontaneously, I start waving my arms and yelling out June 9th! June 9th! Then I see my dad lumbering down the basement stairs shirtless and in his sleeping shorts looking like death warmed over. (OH NO!) “What are you doing?!! You’re lucky, I thought someone was breaking in and I was going to get my gun!” I told him I was sorry and that was the end of it. Of course, the next day was June 9th . . . but the world didn’t end. Pat wasn’t ashamed. He pointed out that there had been several earthquakes! Of course, there are earthquakes pretty much every day somewhere in the world. I did find it interesting Pat died on June 8th, so maybe he was just a little bit off.
Second Story
Pat liked to give out little freebies, but you had to call in. This time my older brother was watching with me. Pat went on and on about Dungeons & Dragons. I was just curious what was Pat’s beef with D&D? Call now! Get a free pamphlet about Dungeons & Dragons! I wasn’t really comfortable calling the 700 Club to request it, so my brother volunteered to do so. There was a phone in the basement and he went to make the call. He comes back about 5 minutes later with a giant smile. “Troy, that guy was praying for your very soul! Pat might be a con artist, but his prayer line people are definitely sincere.” The 4-page pamphlet came a while later in the mail. I was very disappointed. It was really, really, really lame.
I suppose Pat and I parted ways after that. I’d just tune in for dribs and drabs. I did contact the 700 Club one final time though. I noticed that one of the old stand-by hosts Sheila Walsh was no longer on the show. It seemed like Pat would get very somber when he’d mention Sheila, as if she had betrayed him or died. I had no idea. So I sent the 700 Club an email and asked what happened to her. Nothing nefarious though, she just left to pursue her singing and other churchy stuff. It is possible Pat was upset about Sheila quitting the show, though the email didn’t get into it.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Pat Robertson was definitely a kooky old character! I didn’t watch him a lot, but you could count on some sort of wackadoodle stuff from him.
“It seemed his antics got crazier the older he got, and they’d bring him in for occasional commentary (and jocularity).” Slick ol’ Pat! No doubt that’s how he got everyone’s attention and could raise more money from his supporters. “Pat of course, who looked like some sort of Tolkienesque gremlin…” Troy, you nailed it there in your description! 👍
Years ago, I saw Pat on TV. As he prayed, his eyes squeezed shut, rocking back and forth, he looked like someone on the toilet in desperate need of laxatives and stool softener. Never watched again. I don’t have the patience for that kind of crazy.
I can’t think of Sheila Walsh without visualizing this duet she sang with CCM musician Steve Taylor. I always enjoyed Steve’s music. He was the only Christian artist I knew of who regularly skewered the worst elements of evangelicalism in his songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV3zRNlCDJU
Ah, Pat, the false prophet that idiot christians never questioned. No wonder the poor dears can’t do what ol’ Jesus promised to his true followers.
and D&D, funny how these idiots didn’t peep about the recent movie. I guess they didn’t want people remembering their lies and failure from the 70s and 80s.
@CLUBSCHADENFREUDE
That’s an interesting point about D&D… Pat Robertson was never a big D&D basher, his D&D segment was just one of the oddball things that reflected the fundamentalist zeitgeist. He spent much more time on aspartame, for example. The Christian anti-D&D was much more prevalent in the early 80s way before I got the 700 club, it’s possible the show had more anti-D&D content back then, but I rather doubt it. Pat was always more interested in the political aspects of social conservatism (moral majority issues abortion, divorce, feminism, gay rights), D&D wouldn’t have really registered. That’s one reason why the new movie (which I haven’t seen, but call Guardians of the Gygaxaly) is not a focus of protest.
Considering how Jack Chick and the rest of them fussed about it, and that those pamphlets are still around seems to not quite agree with your claims.
and yep, that movie….that title is appropriate. I personally thought it was painfully trite, though the monsters looked good.
@CLUBSCHADENFREUDE
Jack Chick along with other IFB such as Kent Hovind, Ken Ham can’t really be lumped in with Pat Robertson. For example Pat was not a Young Earth Creationist along with some other theological differences. You’re probably right, you’d better not be carrying around D&D stuff as a student at Reagent University.
As for the movie, at least the monsters look good. The last movie I saw had way too many humanoids, monster characterizations were very sketchy.
All of those are Christian liars, Troy. And yep, they all differ since Christians, despite their many many claims of “truth”, can’t agree on their nonsense. Young earth creatoinists, old earth creationists, those who claims miracles still happen, those who claim they don’t. Free willers vs predestination. Chrisitanity is quite a mess, and curiously christians can’t even convince each other about who has the “right” story.
comp gen really helps with things like displacer beasts and gelatinous cubes. No need for humans with funny foreheads so much anymore.
Troy—After I stopped believing, I would sometimes watch Pat and the Bakkers for low comedy. Between Pat’a facial expressions and Tammy’s makeup, tears and wails of “I am so in love with the law-ad,” I thought I was watching the Gong Show (remember that?) without the gong.
I hadn’t thought about Terry Meeuwsen in a long time. Now I am remembering when she won the Miss America contest—when I was a high school freshman, if I remember correctly. I really liked her: She was beautiful and seemed smart and articulate—sort of a Midwestern version of Barbara Feldon (a.k.a. Agent 99). I blame them for a major conflict in my life: I knew, long before then, that I wasn’t a boy. But I couldn’t understand how I had crushes on them, or any girl for that matter.
At least Barbara didn’t become a Fundangelical. As for Terry, I will quote a great writer: Sigh.
@MJ
I don’t remember seeing the Bakkers, Jim went to prison before we got cable. I have to laugh at Jim’s revival selling buckets of food and colloidal silver for Covid. I have to wonder if Tammy Faye was the reason for the success? Jim seems like such a whiney ahole, where Tammy Faye was at least fun.
I didn’t realize Terry was a beauty queen. I guess she was perfect for the 700 club, and still has a job doing it. Doing a google search it is creepy how Pat’s son Gordon looks like his father. And he has the schtick down pat (pun!).
As a completely indoctrinated Christian back in the day I bought into all of this guys bullshit for a while and may have even sent him money one time- much to my embarrassment. I look back at my younger self and wonder how this could have happened. Such is the power of religious indoctrination
Pat Robertson was one of many who “pinch hit” for Jeremiah after the failed prophecy of peace and prosperity coming in 70 years. By my count, Pat Robertson contributed strike 15. https://mindsetfree.blog/prophecy-strikes-out/ .
Once when my husband was a kid his parents thought it would be “fun” to take he and his brother to a taking off the 700 club. My husband, however, felt quite different about it and began plotting his revenge for the suffering they were about to impose upon him.
My husband is seriously lactose intolerant. Soooo… before the taping he made sure to covertly drink a half gallon of milk. (I’m sure you can see where this is going).🤣
His family (conveniently) sat near one of the very sensitive microphones that were scattered throughout the audience area and that’s when all he’ll broke loose. He had uncontrollable gas which he was able to share with the rest of the attendees through the miracles of modern technology.
Apparently Jesus, Pat, & Company consider farts some sort of tool of the devil because soon some “usher/overseer/church bouncer” quietly asked his family to leave. All my husband could think was “mission accomplished.” 🤣