I have a lot of health problems: fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, and exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (EPI) — all of which are incurable. I am also diabetic and have high blood pressure, both of which are controlled by drugs. Further, I have degenerative spine disease:
- Hypertrophic arthropathy at T9/T10
I have widespread osteoarthritis and a torn labrum in my right shoulder. There’s never a moment when I am not in pain. Sometimes, my pain is unbearable. Every day is a challenge. Do some people have it worse than me? Of course, they do. But all pain and suffering are personal, so it doesn’t matter if some people have it worse than I do. My body, my pain, my suffering, and so it is for all of us. I wish I could adequately convey to readers how it really is for me, but words seem to not suffice. Even my partner and family sometimes miss how bad things are. Sadly, those who love us the most often get used to us being sick or in pain. They no longer see us as we are. I can’t tell you the last time a family member said to me, “How are you doing?” or “How are you feeling?” I often feel as if I have become part of the furniture. People “see” me but they don’t really “see” me. I am little more than the rocking chair that has always sat in the corner of the living room — ever present, but rarely, if ever, noticed unless someone wants to sit in it. Chronic pain sufferers and people with debilitating illnesses can reach a point where they give up and kill themselves. They feel as if they no longer have a reason for living. I have come to that place numerous times over the years, more so in recent months. I see a counselor every week, hoping to lessen my depression. Sometimes this is helpful, other times, not so much.
I have always been open about my health. This, of course, leads to all sorts of unsolicited medical advice, even when I ask people to NOT send me such advice. My openness turns some readers into medical experts, even though they have no expertise in medicine. Evidently, reading a few books and listening to a few podcasts is the equivalent of 10-14 years of post-high school education, and anecdotal stories are the same as double-blind studies. Typically, I ignore such people, knowing that medical ignorance abounds. On occasion, a few readers have pushed the issue, and that’s when I tell them to fuck off.
The scientific method is the best tool available for us to understand the natural world. Science isn’t perfect and can and does make mistakes, but I know of no other way to explain and understand our bodies. So, when readers tell me to do this or that and I will be healed, the first thing I want to see is the empirical evidence for the claim. When someone tells me that a particular supplement, food, diet, or alternative treatment will cure me, I want to see the evidence for this claim. When someone says veganism, reiki, homeopathy, iridology, essential oils, cupping, dry needling, acupuncture, chiropractic care, magnets, and a host of other alternative treatments will cure me, I want proof that these things work. Someone saying they do isn’t good enough for me (and shouldn’t be for you either).
I value expertise. Sadly, we live in a day when many people don’t. Valuing expertise is not the same as accepting what experts say without reservation. When one of my doctors suggests a new treatment or drug, I value their expertise. I have had the same primary care doctor for twenty-seven years. I trust him. But, he also knows that the first thing I am going to do after he suggests a new treatment or drug is do a Google search for relevant information. I am going to read the studies. I am going to visit patient forums. I am going to check out what online medical professionals say on the matter. Then, and only then, will I decide what to do. I have an appointment with a specialist at the University of Michigan later this month. I will likely have a relatively new surgical procedure that hopefully will lessen my suffering from gastroparesis and exocrine pancreatic insufficiency. I am hoping this procedure will reduce my nausea and vomiting. I have done my homework on this procedure, so all that remains for me to do is determine whether the benefits outweigh the risks (and there are serious risks). Statistics, probabilities, and outcomes play a big part in my deciding whether to have a procedure done or take a new drug. I never do anything blindly or by faith.
Let me be clear, I trust my doctors, and when I don’t, I look for a new one. They are the experts, so I must, to a large degree, have faith in them. It is unlikely that I will ever know as much as they do on any given issue, so I am dependent on them getting it right. I don’t know what more any of us can do. The system isn’t perfect, but it is the best we have.
To those who are defenders of veganism, reiki, homeopathy, iridology, essential oils, cupping, dry needling, acupuncture, chiropractic care, magnets, and other alternative treatments, please don’t. Don’t what, Bruce? Turn this post into a pulpit for you to preach your religion. Much like my view of religion in general, I am not interested in your personal opinion. Ouch, Bruce. Sorry, but I don’t ask the counter worker at McDonald’s about the best treatment for EPI, and I am sure as Hell am not going to ask non-experts either. If you are a medical doctor with a relevant specialty or an expert in a relevant medical field, by all means, share with me what you know — not feel or think, but what you know. Opinions are what we share on Friday nights at the pub amongst friends. When I want are facts and evidence, I seek out experts, not my drinking buddies. Just because you can do a web search doesn’t make you an expert. You do know this, right?
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Bruce, I wish I knew who or what could relieve your suffering—or that you never had it in the first place.
Bruce, should really try to be more patient like me and not tell people to fuck off….. what???? Yeah..ok.. never mind…..bad example…
Seriously, I do hope any new procedures you have done will help.
One thing I learned from my preacher father was to listen more and talk less. People don’t need our wisdom on how to cure this, or how bad brother Bob had it. They need support. Unfortunately I see many experience what you encounter from other people.
Your writing sure encourages me to accept people as they are and not assume that ‘the methods that seem to work for me’ are of any use to anybody else. When my loved ones share the pain they live, it is not easy to just listen, witness the human heart and know that silence is okay. My way of being in the world herds me into trying to offer solutions and fixes. My wife sometimes says to me, “Just listen! I’m not finished telling you what I mean!” My own body shouts the same thing over time. The phrase, “If you ask me,” needs an abrupt “I didn’t!” blurted in his face. It is packaged, processed food with a barcode instead of the real thing pulled from my garden. I still have squash, onions, potatoes, carrots and heaps of garlic chilling in the garage here in Alberta. But we are back to buying California lettuce brought all the way up here in subsidized trucks… I’m afraid we’ll figure out how to grow lettuce on Mars before learning how to offer Albertans Winter lettuce produced in Alberta! Yesterday, we had some snow for a change, a real seasonal offering and next week we are due for some double-digit freezing temps. Hang in there with us as best you can, Gerencser. Yer a good quarterback…. 2024 is setting up to be quite a spectacle to behold.
Brian, I didn’t realize you lived in Alberta. Isn’t it the Alabama of Canada, except with much colder weather? Sorry, because I live in Ohio and it’s been teetering towards the south in terms of politics. (I have a little hope due to the recent election legalizing marijuana and abortion, but not much.)
Anyway, my husband watches Cold War Motors on Youtube which is based in Alberta. One funny thing is the dude and his helpers/friends are frequently a bit mellow on marijuana…which I find humorous as they can all apparently function pretty darn good that way.
I have recently become a marijuana user although the most I’ve ever taken in a day with edibles is 10 mg THC. Because I am trying for pain relief. My younger son, who also has a worse case of fibromyalgia than me, finds real pain relief so that is something at least.
Becky, I’m a long-time B.C. resident but my wife and I drove into Alberta to live in a little bungalow that is a dwelling far more affordable than the eqivalent in B.C. I’ve been retiring for several years now but still have not quite managed to give up my old ways. Alberta is indeed known to be ‘…bamish’ and I don’t belong here anymore than anywhere else (I suspect) and just choose to hang my hat here for now. I would prefer to be able to afford B.C. because muntains and forest but parts of southern Alberta have areas of coulees and carved river valleys that are ‘wild’ enough to give me a fix. It is indeed ‘colder’ but brags a lot of sunny days and we get chinooks here in Winter, balmy relief from the harshness of those garden-feezing months.
Politically, I do wish to see areas like Ohio and Alberta continue to struggle into more individual freedom just as I wish for USA to understand that their military budget is a cancer destroying your future. Meanwhile, we Canadians do as we are told and maintain our old fighter jets and mothball-smelling military uniforms.
As for grass, I have not used it since the 70’s much but absolutely support growing it in your backyard for personal use. One needs to study a bit to find the strains to meet specific needs and I might add that in a pinch, using Old Testament pages for rolling dope (if you chose to smoke it) will allow you to avoid having to run to the convenience store for rolling papers. Use only KJV of course.
Becky, fibromyalgia and many other conditions are nurtured in inflammation as I know you are aware. 6 to 8 weeks of CARB RESTRICTION and no sugar achieved using a 16-18 hour fasting schedule drastically reduces inflammation in the human body and has been a real ‘Benny Hinn’ HEAL!!!!! for me. Lots of info on YouTube regarding these ways of allowing the body to heal itself. Even at plus seventy years I have found powerful results in a fairly short time… Not medical advice… do your own research… Best to you and yours in ’24!
Over 20 to 25 years ago, I took a swing through alternative meds. Probably because at that point, no one would actually help me with my fibromyalgia pain. In the end, I largely left that behind as most of it is wishful thinking. (I mean, reiki, c’mon??)
In the end? I will do what works. And modern medicine offers more answers, although it took me forever to get an official diagnosis. And not one doctor would say my son had fibromyalgia until he turned 18. Because even modern medicine has doctors who have a certain mindset, and our insurance-based medical care is a nightmare.
I did a lot of reading on research studies regarding perimenopause. Being someone who considers themselves to be a badass, I decided to try some of the natural remedies for perimenopausal symptoms. A couple of things helped a little, but I got tired of toughing it out and went on menopausal hormone therapy a few weeks ago. After about 3.5 weeks, I saw a real cessation in symptoms. Hell, why did I wait so long????
All this is to say that I know better, I have critical thinking skills, and I am stubborn and felt the need to experiment for myself. But I won’t tell anyone else what they “should” do on their health journey. I had 3 conversations with my gynecologist and read a lot before finalizing starting hormone therapy. Everyone has their own journey with their doctors.
Bruce, I wish I could take away your pain. Thay must be really difficult.
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For Christmas I saw my evangelical sister-in-law. One of the Christmas presents for my brother was something that looked like a sex toy and was alleged to cost $400. Something called the iteracare terahertz wand. By her description it sounded like snake oil. “Eliminate unhealthy cells! Activates dormant stem cells in the bone marrow! regulates endocrine glands!” My sister-in-law has a lot of health issues though at least some of them are in her head. So when she told me she would have been unable to make the 1 hour trip without it I was still rather skeptical. My verdict : If placebos work, why not use them? As for me, I hope to try it in the near future. I suspect it is just a glorified noisy hair dryer, and heat feels good right? Until then my dormant bone marrow stem cells will have to wait.
Dr. David Tee weighs in. This guy is a Grade A asshole, starting out 2024 just like 2021, 2022, 2023.
This is something that has mystified us for some time now. Why do people put their personal information on the internet for strangers to read, and then complain about it when strangers respond?
Placing private information on the internet for public view is an action that is asking for trouble. Our example comes from the BG website as he says:
“I have always been open about my health.”
Then right after that, he says:
“This, of course, leads to all sorts of unsolicited medical advice, even when I ask people to NOT send me such advice. My openness turns some readers into medical experts, even though they have no expertise in medicine. Evidently, reading a few books and listening to a few podcasts is the equivalent of 10-14 years of post-high school education, and anecdotal stories are the same as double-blind studies. Typically, I ignore such people, knowing that medical ignorance abounds. On occasion, a few readers have pushed the issue, and that’s when I tell them to fuck off.”
If you are going to put the information out there then do not complain when people try to help by offering their suggestions. Also, do not go into long-winded rants about who you listen to because that information just shows your closed mind and that you are missing out on possible aid.
His medical condition is a private affair and should not be placed on the internet, especially when he uses it to get sympathy and attention. Nor should the information be placed there if there is no cure and no positive progress.
No one cares about your medical condition and they do not care about it when you have no solutions for them to try. While these amateur doctors and nurses are trying to help, there is nothing gained by being mean to them.
The information they offer may not help the person whining about their medical problems but it may help some readers who have tried everything else with no positive results. This would be more of a real service than piling on by publishing a black-collar crime series.
These types of people who share information about their private lives yet do not want any help from kind people are showing signs of narcissism. One of the signs of this mental health disorder is:
“Need for Admiration: One of the most common signs of a narcissist is a constant need for praise or admiration. People with this behavior need to feel validation from others and often brag or exaggerate their accomplishments for recognition. They also like to feel appreciated to boost their ego. (source)”
That is what we categorize BG’s efforts to ‘be open’ about his medical condition. After all, he mentions it and his preaching history in almost every post he makes. He needs to be admired for his decision-making as well as for enduring his health issues.
But that is not the only thing we noticed about BG’s ‘transparency’ he exhibits this sign of narcissism as well:
“Grandiose sense of self-importance. This is the belief that your contribution and presence are essential to the happiness, success, or equilibrium of other people and any enterprises or relationships. “The project would have tanked if I hadn’t been on the team.” “If it weren’t for me, who knows where my spouse would have ended up!” (source)”
We noticed how he was the best at everything throughout his time at his college and preaching appointments. Everyone else was the villain or bad.
Of course, there’s no way for anyone to contact him or comment on this blog. He has insulated himself from all accountability for his words.
I despise this man. He is the worst Christianity has to offer. That Revival Fires thinks Tee is awesome tells you everything you need to know.
Tedious wrote: “These types of people who share information about their private lives yet do not want any help from kind people are showing signs of narcissism. One of the signs of this mental health disorder is:
“Need for Admiration: One of the most common signs of a narcissist is a constant need for praise or admiration. People with this behavior need to feel validation from others and often brag or exaggerate their accomplishments for recognition. They also like to feel appreciated to boost their ego. (source)”
Zoe: Bruce, you may not remember, but I do. There was a comment I left on one of his diatribes that you posted here. I called him a narcissist. This was quite some time ago now.
I remember regretting it as narcissists don’t know they are narcissists and when they are called narcissists they in turn flip it and call everyone else a narcissist.
Sure enough, Tedious flipped it and I noted it the first time he called you a narcissist. He continues in the same vain. They will use your personal stuff to attack you, crucify you all in an effort to elevate themselves. They never change and as you know, lack empathy at their core.
He reminds me of saying I heard once- “accuse your opponent of doing (or in this case “being”) what you’re actually doing (being) yourself”..I thinks this fits “Dr. Tee”..to a tee!
Why doesn’t he let people comment on his blog? Probably because all the comments he gets are hostile ones. I’m pretty sure nobody would read his pathetic little blog if your website didn’t mention it. As for his accusation, projection is a narcissistic trait. Believe me I know, a family member is involved in a protracted legal battle with a narcissist and it’s pretty ugly. I’ve learned more about narcissism than I ever wanted to know.
All I can say is, I’m so sorry you’re in pain all the time. I’m glad you write about it. Those of us lucky enough not to experience it need to know that chronic pain is a thing and that plenty of people have it. Other pain sufferers need us to know that they don’t need any unsolicited (and ignorant) advice or trivialization of their plight. Of course, none of this would occur to a narcissist, particularly one who seems to have latched onto this blog for his own demented reasons.
I am really sorry to hear about your chronic pain, Bruce. I admire you for being level-headed in making decisions about your health and sticking to the evidence.
And Tee certainly lacks empathy. I am baffled by Tee’s obsession with Bruce – this post has nothing to do with “attacking” Christians and/or Tee, but he still feels the need to say something disparaging about Bruce.
And Christians do talk about their personal lives all the time in books and blogs and on the pulpit, if they’re a preacher. My mum, the good Evangelical that she is, even sneered at one of her pastors who was using the pulpit to complain about his dissatisfaction with task allocation in the church. But of course, Tee and Revival Fires are never wrong since they’re True Christians. I have lost hope in finding a home amongst Christians since, in my experience, too many of them behave in the exact same manner as Tee. (Revival Fires is even worse, from what I can glean from some of his past comments.)
Irony is obviously something that he does not understand.
But he is very skilled at projecting his own problems onto others. I mean, it is what he understands, and he assumes everyone is like him.
And he as obsessed with Bruce.
I cannot treat or cure your medical problems. I can send my empathy and love.