The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

Tag: Forgiveness

Against God Alone Have We Sinned

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy,
blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment.(Psalm 51:1-4 NRSV)

If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NRSV)

Have you ever wondered why some Evangelicals are arrogant, self-righteous pricks who relish in misusing, abusing, and lying about unbelievers. Without mentioning any names, who comes to mind when you think about this description of some Evangelical Christians? Right, me too. THOSE assholes, and no matter how you respond to or challenge them, their behavior remains unchanged. If it is evident — and it IS evident — that these believers live lives in direct contradiction to the teachings of the Bible, how is it that they consider themselves Christians? Are they not walking, talking contradictions to the commands that explicitly teach believers how they should behave and treat non-Christians? When challenged, out comes self-justification or claims that “everyone makes mistakes” or “God isn’t finished with me yet.”

Granted, Evangelicals who are psychopaths will not see anything wrong with their ill-bred behavior, but most followers of Jesus will recognize bad behavior in themselves. “But, Bruce, if this is true why do most offending Evangelicals not apologize or make amends to those they have attacked, offended, or harmed?” Good question, and here’s the answer.

Evangelicals are taught from the get-go that bad behavior requires confession to God so he can forgive them of their sins. 1 John 1:9 says: If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Note that believers in this text are NOT required to apologize or make appropriate amends to those they offended. All that matters is receiving God’s forgiveness and him wiping the sin slate clean. This a process that many Evangelicals practice multiple times A DAY! Does not the Bible say, “Pray without ceasing”? The late John R. Rice said about this verse that believers should keep their prayer lists short. So if you cast your eye towards Sister Bertha’s shapely ass and have a lustful thought, you should immediately avert your eyes and ask God for forgiveness. And just like that, your slate is wiped clean, though it may take longer for your erection to subside. No need to admit your misogyny and sexism and take steps to NOT have perverse thoughts (and I am not saying a momentary thought = perversion. If it does, we are ALL perverts) about Bertha’s ass. All sorts of bad Evangelical behavior is wiped away with a simple prayer: Lord, I am sorry. Please forgive me. That’s why some preachers who commit sex crimes think forgiveness and restoration to the ministry are but a prayer away. If God forgives them, so should everyone else, including the children, teens, and women they abused and sexually molested.

David, a man after God’s own heart, raped Bathsheba and murdered Uriah, her husband. David’s punishment? God killed his child and raped, through the hands of Absalom, ten of his concubines. Did David confess his sins to Bathsheba or his family, apologizing for the rape of Bathsheba and death of their child, the murder of Uriah, and the rape of his concubines? Of course not. David was a good Evangelical. Note this words in Psalm 51: Against you, you alone, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight. Not one word about those whom he harmed.

So it is with many Evangelicals. No need to apologize, make amends, or restitution. Just shoot a prayer to God, asking for forgiveness, and in the blink of an eye your bad behavior is wiped away and remembered no more. Awesome, right? No need to be a decent, thoughtful, caring human being. As long as you have settled the score with God, all is well.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

November 24, 2025
A Reader Asks, How Can We Forgive Without Divine Enablement?

Recently, a Christian reader asked:

How can a person forgive their worst enemies without divine enablement? Is this something we can do on our own, without supernatural love? Because we humans, as good as many are, would still balk at loving a person who killed their child, or loved one, or caused immense personal injury. And yet, there are many who have done just that.

I assume this reader is talking about the Christian (or other Abrahamic) religion. According to Christianity, believers are indwelt by the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. God lives inside of every believer, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He is their teacher and guide. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit teaches Christians EVERYTHING about life and godliness. Yet, we see no difference between how Christians and the unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines of the world live their lives.

This reader thinks that “forgiving their worst enemies” requires some sort of divine enablement; that, by implication, non-Christians, lacking divine enablement, are unable to do. Yet, countless Christians refuse to forgive others, and innumerable non-Christians selflessly forgive those who transgress against them. Forgiveness is a human thing; a learned character trait. Forgiveness is modeled (or not) to children by parents, grandparents, siblings, and other people close to them. A child who grows up in an unforgiving home will likely grow up to be an unforgiving adult. One can undo negative nurture in their lives, but it ain’t easy. Sometimes, it requires therapy to overcome negative character traits deeply embedded in a child’s psyche. Yes, parents, you can fuck up your kids. One need only look at President Donald Trump to see what bad parenting does to a person.

The reader’s comment reveals a false notion that is drilled into the heads of Christian children: you are required to forgive anyone who does you wrong. This idea is reinforced week after week through sermons and Sunday school lessons. Believers are taught to forgive everyone, just like God does. However, a cursory reading of the Bible clearly shows that God does not forgive everyone. He never has. Not in the Old Testament, and not in the New. Sure, we see God, at times, forgiving people, but we also see God not doing so many, many times

As an atheist, I reject the notion that I must always forgive anyone who offends me or causes me harm. I also reject the notion that we must love everyone unconditionally. (Please see Does God Love Us Unconditionally?) Is loving and forgiving others a good idea? Sure, but as with all “ideas,” there are nuances and exceptions that must be considered. Christians, however, must always, without exception, love and forgive. I contend that there are people who are not worthy of my love and forgiveness. My grandparents — who were fine, upstanding Christians who believed every word of the Bible — come to mind. (Dear Ann and Life with My Fundamentalist Baptist Grandparents, John and Ann Tieken.) Not only did I not love them, but when they died, I said, “Good riddance.” I said the same thing about my Christian uncle when he died; you know, the one who raped my mother. My grandparents caused untold harm to me and my mother. It was infuriating to hear people talk about how wonderful John and Ann were — awesome, Spirit-filled followers of Jesus — while knowing they were anything but. They had countless opportunities to practice Christianity in a meaningful way with our family, but they chose not to. And when they did deign to walk in Jesus’s steps, there were always strings attached to everything they did for you. Cross them, and as swift as getting your head cut off with a guillotine, they would cut off whatever help they were giving you. Critical and mean-spirited, they demanded, via Bible verse quotations, that people not treat them in kind. Simply put, they were fucking hypocrites.

All forgiveness and love are conditional. Christian or not, some lines can be crossed that are beyond love and forgiveness. And if you say otherwise, I don’t believe you. Stop with the syrupy claims that you love and forgive everyone. Can you not think of any circumstance where you wouldn’t love or forgive someone? I generally love and forgive others, but I can think of circumstances that are beyond my love and forgiveness. I refuse to pretend and love and forgive people, as I was commanded to do as a follower of Jesus; though even Jesus didn’t love and forgive everyone either.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

August 26, 2025
Should Evangelical Preachers Who Commit Sex Crimes Be Given a Second (or Fourteenth) Chance?

Dr. David Tee, who is neither a doctor nor a Tee, has long objected to the Black Collar Crime Series. Tee, whose real name is Derrick Thomas Thiessen, has written several posts about my Black Collar Crime posts. Here’s what he said in his latest post on the subject (all spelling, grammar, and punctuation in the original):

We read BG’s response to our black collar crime series article. .He is lucky that we are not litigious in nature and do not strike back at those who not only distort what we have said but libel and slander us.

But he says things the way he does because he is a first-class narcissist who needs to be seen as the victim 100% of the time. If he wasn’t that way his posts would be written vastly different than they are being written.

He just doesn’t get it. No one needs his black collar crime series. Everyone that needs to know already knows about what some pastors do. There is no need to pile on and add misery to those who are already miserable.

Of course, if you read that series, you will find that BG does not present one legitimate solution to the problem. Instead, he spends his time attacking us as we are providing the framework for a solution to ministers going and gone bad.

We would prefer that those men not join the ministry until they allow Jesus to heal them of their problems. But since they do not postpone their answer to their calling, we must deal with the problem within the church.

The secular world does not have a solution for the problems these men face and instead of embarrassing and humiliating pastors, they should just remain silent trusting that church officials will be led by God to handle the problems correctly.

….

They [rapist, predator, abusive preachers] have sinned and come short of the glory of God, just like the rest of us. Christ is there for them as he is for all of us. We are no better even if we did not commit such worldly sins as the bible tells.

Those men are no worse than any one of us and deserve a second chance. Where would any of us be if we were not given 2nd, 3rd, or 14 chances by God?

As you may have noticed we are not saying much about BG and his black collar crime series as that rant is not worth discussing. The author of those words doesn’t speak the truth and offers no legitimate reason for it to exist.

We have said the worst we are going to say about the owner of that website and series. As all he can do is distort, libel, and slander. It is not worth getting into a war of words over.

But since it does exist, that series does provide us with a starting point to provide direction for those Christians who may have condemned and judged those men or do not know what ministry they should do.

We should not judge nor condemn those men because that is not our duty. We are not better than them and we do need to find a way to solve their problems BEFORE they get themselves into trouble.

….

We have not changed one word of what we said in the article on the black collar series. That series is a useless effort that does not help anyone.

According to Thiessen, if a preacher commits a sex crime, he is not disqualified from serving in the ministry; that God forgives them (how does he know this?) and we should too. And therein is the fundamental problem: unconditional forgiveness. No matter what a person does, God forgives him. All he needs to do, according to 1 John 1:9, is repent and ask for forgiveness. Rape a child? Repent and ask for forgiveness. Sexually assault a teenager? Repent and ask for forgiveness. Molest children? Repent and ask for forgiveness. Manipulate a woman who is under your care so she will have sex with you? Repent and ask for forgiveness. No matter how heinous the crime, all an offending preacher needs to do is shoot a prayer up to Jesus and he will immediately wipe your sin slate clean. Awesome, right? No matter what a preacher does — even two, three, or fourteen times, according to Thiessen — forgiveness is but a prayer away.

I know several Evangelical preachers who refuse to run background checks on workers in their churches. Why? Whatever these workers might have done — including sexually molesting and assaulting children — is in the past, covered by the blood of Jesus and buried in the deepest sea to be never remembered again. If God has forgiven them, so should their fellow church members.

How hard can it be to say to prospective clerics: if you commit a sex crime, you are no longer fit to serve as a pastor — period? If you are a registered sex offender, you are no longer fit to serve as a pastor — period. Sexually molesting and abusing children, sexually assaulting teenagers, and taking sexual advantage of church women (or men) should be immediately, and forever, disqualifying. That it is not in many corners of the Evangelical world is troubling, to say the least.

Sexual predators cannot be “cured.” We can have a long discussion about pedophilia, but the fact remains that predators typically re-offend; that children are NOT safe around them. Some predators should be locked up without the possibility of parole. Others should have strict limitations put on them, including forbidding them from having contact with children and other vulnerable people. Next to the finality of murder, sex crimes leave some of the deepest, most long-lasting scars on victims/survivors. Doubt me? Scores of victims/survivors read this blog. Ask them how being sexually violated has affected their lives. Untold harm, heartache, and loss, yet the Derrick Thiessens of the world ignore the harm caused by predators, choosing instead to “forgive” offenders and send them back into the ministry so they can “prey” again.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

December 12, 2023
Why Do Evangelicals Find it So Hard to Apologize?

None of us likes to apologize. Apologizing to a person or a group requires us to admit that we were wrong. Im not talking about fake apologies here: “I am sorry you feel that way” or “I am sorry you feel offended.” I am talking about apologies where we recognize we caused harm and want to make amends.

All of us are going to say or do things that offend or harm others. None of us is perfect. We can act out of selfishness, greed, offense, or anger, harming others in the process. In such times, it is proper, dare I say essential, for us to apologize. As a former Evangelical pastor, I said and did a lot of things that harmed my wife, children, and church congregants. While I can justify my bad behavior by saying I didn’t know any better or that I was a product of Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) indoctrination and conditioning, the fact remains that I materially harmed people. To those people I owe, at the very least, an apology, and, if possible, the making of amends.

I left Christianity in 2008 — fifteen years ago. After deconverting, I sent out a letter explaining my decision to family, friends, and former parishioners. You can read this letter here. This letter elicited a number of judgmental, hostile, hateful responses. Overnight, I became a pariah, an enemy of God. People I had known for upwards of fifty years said some pretty awful things to me, accusing me of being demon-possessed, mentally ill, and a false Christian. My best friend said that I was mentally ill; that I was destroying my family. Another dear friend sent me a long letter that suggested I was under the influence of Satan. She was the only Christian during this period who later had second thoughts about what she said to me and apologized.

Over the years, I have received thousands of emails, blog comments, and social media messages from Evangelical Christians, including pastors, evangelists, missionaries, professors, and college friends. I have received very few emails, comments, or messages from Evangelicals (or conservative Catholics) that I would consider thoughtful or respectful; attempts to sincerely understand why I deconverted. The rest of them were openly hostile toward me, often saying and doing things that caused hurt and harm. I quickly learned that some Evangelicals will lie to prove a point; that others totally ignore what Jesus said about how to treat your enemies.

A handful of Evangelicals have later come back to me and apologized for the things they said to me and I happily forgave them. That said, I am not one who thinks an apology requires forgiveness in response. Shortly before Polly’s mom died, I had an IFB family member call me and say all sorts of vicious, vile, hurtful things, including threatening me twice with violence. I finally hung up on the man. At Mom’s funeral, this family member came up to me and said “I’m sorry for those things I said you.” I replied, “Thank you, and then turned away.” The man crossed a line of no return with me. Nothing he could say would fix the harm and hurt he caused, not only to me, but to Polly and our children. I suspect he felt guilty over his behavior and that was the motivation for his attempted apology. Religion will do that to you. Guilt is one thing, contrition and restoration are something else. Sadly, this man wasn’t too apologetic. When it came time for him to settle Mom’s financial accounts — Mom refused to let us do it because we are atheists and she didn’t “trust” us — he shorted Polly’s inheritance by at least $5,000. (Money, the one thing that will show the truth of one’s religious beliefs.)

I generally forgive people who sincerely, with no strings attached, apologize. I have only withheld my forgiveness from three people in sixty-six years: the aforementioned family member, my mom’s father, John, and his wife, Ann. (Please see Life with My Fundamentalist Baptist Grandparents, John and Ann Tieken.) My Mom’s dad is dead and his wife is in a nursing home. I haven’t spoken to either of them in over twenty years. I cut them out of my life and that of my children years ago. I have no regrets for doing so. They were bad people. As the living family member mentioned above, he might be able to buy my forgiveness by returning the $5,000 he stole from Polly (and the leftover money from the insurance and the jewelry that was supposed to go to Polly). 🙂 That’s never going to happen, so I have no intention of forgiving him.

Thinking about the thousands of Evangelicals I have interacted with over the years on this site, why is it so hard for them to admit and apologize for being uncharitable, meanspirited, or hateful? When their behavior is challenged straight from the Word of God, why do they ignore my rebuke or try to justify their awful behavior? Is what I say true, regardless of whether an atheist is saying it? Isn’t the message what matters, not the messenger?

I have tagged 212 posts with the Evangelical Email and Comments tag. I suspect there are a hundred or more posts from earlier years that I should have tagged but didn’t. Read their emails, comments, and messages to me. Where, oh where, is Jesus anywhere to be found?

When I give these followers of Jesus what loyal readers call “The Bruce Gerencser Treatment®,” I always notify them that I have responded to them. Some of them use fake names and email addresses — cowards for Jesus — so I can’t let them know that I have weighed their words in the balance and found them wanting. What I found interesting about the rest of them is that over ninety percent of them never acknowledge or respond to my response post. Why is that? Fear? Upset that they have been outed or made to look bad? Or perhaps they deep down know they shouldn’t have called me names, slandered me, attacked my character, disparaged my family, or ridiculed the readers of this blog. They are embarrassed by their assholery; that their ugly behavior is on public display for all to see. I warn Evangelicals on my comment page:

If you email me anyway — and I know you will, since scores of Evangelicals have done just that, showing me no regard or respect — I reserve the right to make your message and name public. This blog is read by thousands of people every day, so keep that in mind when you email me whatever it is you think “God/Jesus/Holy Spirit” has laid upon your heart. Do you really want your ignorance put on display for thousands of people to see? Pause before hitting send. Ask yourself, “How will my email reflect on Jesus, Christianity, and my church?”

I suspect this warning wards off many Evangelicals from sharing the “good news” with me. Several hundred people access the contact page every month, but most never hit send. While I still get email these days, the volume is minuscule compared to what I received ten or so years ago. Either Evangelicals have given up on me — doubtful — or the various roadblocks I have set in their way frustrate them enough that they give up or refrain from hitting send out of fear of being publicly exposed. Either way, I get enough email to keep me (and Carolyn, my editor) busy and hopelessly behind.

If Evangelicals are anything, they are certain they are right. Many of them, such as Dr. David Tee and others, believe that, as an atheist and a humanist, I don’t say anything worth hearing. In their minds, I am under the influence and control of Satan, so what could I possibly say that is relevant and true? This certainty, of course, breeds arrogance. Evangelicals can’t apologize because that would mean that they were wrong. Filled with the Holy Ghost and armed with an inspired, inerrant, infallible Bible, how could they possibly be wrong? Or so their thinking goes, anyway. So they run roughshod over atheists and anyone else they disagree with, thinking Jesus approves of their stand for truth and their war against atheism.

Think about your time in the Evangelical church. Do you remember a time when your pastor or another church leader stood before the congregation and admitted they were wrong? Do you ever remember your pastor or another church leader apologizing to you personally or to the church as a whole? Never? Once, maybe twice? I did, on occasion, but certainly not as often as I should have.

That’s why I have stopped expecting Christians to take seriously the teachings of Christ, especially the Sermon on the Mount. I have stopped expecting them to give behavioral evidence that they are followers of Jesus — especially the fruit of the Spirit. And because they have abandoned the teachings of the Bible they “say” they believe, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Evangelicals do the things they do.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

August 4, 2023
Songs of Sacrilege: Forgiven by Alanis Morissette

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Forgiven by Alanis Morissette.

Video Link

Lyrics

You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the lover-less priests
I’ll see you next Sunday

We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did

I sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question

We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did

What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven

We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did

We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

June 23, 2023
Romans 3: What the Bible Says About the “Human Condition”
Evangelicals believe that all humans are born sinners, at variance with God, and headed for Hell unless they repent of their sins and put their faith and trust in the atoning work of Jesus Christ and his resurrection from the dead. Evangelicals get their view of humanity straight from the Bible — a collection of books they believe is the inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God. In their minds, the Bible is different from all other books. Divine in nature, perfect, and true, the Bible reveals to us God, the “human condition,” and what all of us must do to have right standing with the Christian deity and avoid eternal damnation in Hell. According to Evangelicals, atheists and other non-believers deliberately reject the truths of the Bible because they desire to live sin-filled lives. Never mind the fact that Evangelicals also live sin-filled lives. You see, they have an out — Jesus. No matter what terrible things they do, forgiveness and restoration are but a prayer away:

If we [Evangelicals] confess our sins, he [Jesus] is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:9)

No bad behavior (sin) is beyond God’s forgiveness. King David committed adultery and had the woman’s husband murdered so he could have her for his own, yet he is called a “man after God’s own heart.” (Acts 13:22) We need only turn to the modern-day fall-from-grace/forgiveness stories of men such as Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, David Hyles, and countless other “fallen” Evangelical preachers to see how the process works. Those of us who were once Evangelicals have first-hand experience with the sin/forgiveness, wash/rinse/repeat process by which we procured continued right-standing with God. Daily and twice on Sundays, we confessed our sins to God and asked for his complete, total, buried-in-the-deepest-sea forgiveness:

He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:19)

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:8-12)

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)

And each and every time, God — or so we believed anyway — granted us forgiveness. Catholics had the confessional, and we Evangelicals had the altars, prayer meetings, and devotional times. In fact, forgiveness was so readily available that all we had to do is send up a quick prayer to Jesus. We could be at work, driving our cars, or cleaning up after masturbating to porn; it mattered not. All God required was for us to say “my bad, Jesus, I’m sorry, please forgive me.” And just like that our sin slates were wiped clean. Awesome, right?

Evangelicals believe they are hopeless and helpless apart from God’s grace. While Evangelicals often present themselves as superior to atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, Muslims, pagans, and other non-believers, when confronted with their own “sinfulness” they reply, “I’m just a sinner saved by grace!” According to their doctrine, the only thing that keeps Evangelicals from spending eternity in the Lake of Fire with Hitler, Mother Teresa, Christopher Hitchens, Barack Obama, and Bruce Gerencser is the moment in time they repented of their sins and asked Jesus to save them. Evangelicals see themselves as sinners who just so happened to have pushed the right button on the Eternal Hell Fire Insurance Policy® Dispensing Machine.

The Apostle Paul in Romans 3 reminded Christians and unbelievers alike of their true nature. Here’s how Paul describes the “human condition”:
- None of us is righteous (vs. 10)
- None of us understands (vs. 11)
- None of us seeks after God (vs. 11)
- None of us does good (vs.12)
- All of us have sinned and come short of God’s glory (vs. 23)
Paul goes on to describe the “human condition” this way:

Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet are swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery are in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes.

Paul in Romans 3 and other places reminds Christians that the only difference between them and non-Christians is faith (Ephesians 2:8,9 and Hebrews 11); faith in Jesus as the propitiation for sin (Romans 3:25 and 1 John 2:2); faith in the God-man who died on the cross for our sins (Romans 5); faith in the Jesus who promised to forgive us of every sin — past, present, and future.

Is it any wonder Evangelicals live such schizophrenic lives? On one hand, God commands them to live morally, ethically, and righteously, and even commands them to be as perfect as their Father in Heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48). Yet, on the other hand, they are repeatedly reminded by Paul and other Biblical authors that it is impossible for them to keep, follow, and practice that which God commands. Thinking this way leads to all sorts of emotional stress. Evangelicals may be “sinners saved by grace,” but their behavior suggests that their lives are long on sin and short on grace. One need only read the Black Collar Crime series to see how such thinking affects Evangelicals. So-called men of God — pastors, deacons, evangelists, Sunday school teachers, and worship leaders — praise the wonders of God’s grace on Sundays, all while they are fucking their secretaries, sexually abusing boys and girls, seducing church teenagers, and otherwise engaging in behaviors that most people consider wrong. “Oh Bruce,” Evangelical apologists say, “these stories are the exception to the rule!” Really? You might want to read Is Clergy Sexual Infidelity Rare? before defending God’s spokesmen. You might also want to talk to pastors who are willing to be honest about their own “sinful” behaviors and that of their congregations — that which has been confessed to them in secret.

“Fine, Bruce,” Evangelicals say. “Are atheists any better?” To that question I reply, yes and no. Atheists don’t believe in “sin.” Most atheists reject Evangelical moralizing about “sin” and instead focus on good and bad behavior. While atheists certainly have smaller “sin” lists, they do believe that certain behaviors can be categorized as good or bad, along with many behaviors being neither good or bad. Most atheists are humanists, and their humanism gives them a moral, ethical, and practical foundation for living one’s life. Atheists recognize that some of their brethren are despicable human beings, every bit as bad as the men of God detailed in the Black Collar Crime series. They also recognize that humans are capable of doing good without the help of imaginary deities.

If atheists reject the Christian view of the “human condition” and forgiveness, how then do they deal with bad behavior? I can’t speak for all atheists, but I can share how I and other atheists I personally know handle personal acts of bad behavior. When we act inappropriately or cause harm to others, we confess it, ask forgiveness from whomever we harmed, and if necessary, make restitution. We recognize that none of us is perfect, and we can, at times, say and do things that hurt others. We own our behavior and vow to act better going forward. If our bad behavior has caused material or social harm, we make amends. One of the reasons I write about the things I do is because I believe I have a moral and ethical responsibility to own past bad behaviors; that the harm I caused to congregants must be atoned for; that the harm I caused to my wife and children must be made right. Simply put, wrongs must be made right. I can’t undo the past, but I can own past bad behaviors, and vow to be a better man, husband, and father. I will, most certainly, fail in this endeavor, but each day of my life I will try to be a better person than I was the day before. No magical wiping of the slate clean, no religious incantations to a mythical God, just an honest, heartfelt commitment to being good. Is that not all that any of us can do?

To Evangelicals I say, leave your harmful religion behind. Humanism provides a far better way to live one’s life. And it’s a lot less stressful and a hell of a lot more fun.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.
December 31, 2022
Why Do Evangelical Pastors Defend and Support Criminals?

As I wade through the neck-deep filth in the Evangelical gutter gathering information for the Black Collar Crime series, one common event shows up in story after story: when these criminals are on trial or they are being sentenced for their crimes, their pastors are on hand to let everyone know that the predator pastor was a good person who did a bad thing. Often, these testifying pastors tell judges and juries that the criminal’s good works outweigh any bad that he might have done; that molesting and raping children or sexually assaulting church members is somehow atoned for by the church member’s or ex-pastor’s good works. These so-called men of God even go so far as to ask the courts to grant the convicted offender probation, promising that the child molester/rapist has turned over a new leaf and has crossed-his-heart-hope-to-die promised that he will never, ever rape, molest, look at child porn, or take sexual advantage of a woman. Why do pastors seem so willing to be character references for criminals?

First, when a church member or colleague in the ministry is accused and convicted of a sex crime, it makes the church and pastor look bad. Churches and their pastors supposedly set the moral standard for their communities. Yet, here’s a fine, upstanding congregant or pastor behaving in ways that make a mockery of Christian morality. So the testifying pastor, by putting a good word in for the criminal, hopes to remediate his church’s reputation. Unfortunately, by testifying, what he really says to the community is that he believes there should be a separate standard of punishment for Christian church members and pastors.

Second, many pastors believe “sinning” church members and pastors deserve a second chance. If Jesus forgave them, shouldn’t everyone else? Think of all the good Child Molester Bob or Rapist Jack could do in the community if they were given probation. Why, they could travel from church to church telling how God delivered them from sexual deviancy. Isn’t God wonderful? Bob says. I stand before you today as a humbled man forgiven by God. I am so grateful that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ gave me another opportunity to serve him! Later that night, Bob slips into his car and drives the streets looking for another child to molest. God will forgive him, he thinks. Isn’t God awesome?

Testifying pastors seem to forget that our justice system is expected to mete out punishment to those convicted of crimes. Why all the pleas for understanding and forgiveness? These same pastors will preach thundering sermons about God’s judgment of sinners and their impending doom in Hell, yet when it comes to criminal church members and pastors, it is expected that they be treated as if their crimes were insignificant or worthy of special treatment.

Forgiveness is up to the victims and not the courts. Courts are supposed to weigh facts and evidence and render appropriate judgment. Testifying pastors are callous and tone-deaf when they ask courts to grant convicted congregants and pastors probation or community service. Should not the victims be their primary concern? Yet, in case after case, pastors re-victimize victims with their unwavering love, compassion, and support for rapists, child molesters, and those who use their positions of power to take advantage of others.

Third, some testifying pastors don’t believe the crime was as bad as prosecutors made it out to be. Yes, Youth Pastor Jim was thirty and in a position of authority, but come on, the girl was sixteen, Why, she was a-l-m-o-s-t an adult. I wonder if pastors who think this way would do so if it were THEIR daughter Youth Pastor Jim had sex with in his church office? I doubt it.

Fourth, some testifying pastors simply refuse to live in the real world. Surely, there must be some other explanation for Suzie accusing Deacon Joe of molesting her. Deacon Joe is a fine family man, the pastor says. I’ve known his family for forty years. I assure you that Deacon Bob could never, ever — I mean NEVER — molest his daughter. (Deep down he believes Suzie is possessed by a demon.) Even after the judge says GUILTY! some pastors refuse to believe the truth staring them in the face; that they didn’t know this or that pastor or church member as well as they thought they did.

Child molesters and sexual abusers can hide their behavior for decades. It is often only when children become adults that they have the courage to speak about what their father, pastor, youth pastor, deacon, teacher, or Sunday school teacher did to them. Testifying pastors wonder, why didn’t they come forward sooner? It sure looks like they did so for the money. Evidently, such pastors expect children to act like adults, refusing to see that when an authority figure has power over someone, a victim often becomes incapacitated by fear or loss of love from family and church. It’s not that they don’t want to report what has happened to them — they can’t. And often, when victims DO speak up, what happens? They aren’t believed or they are accused of being culpable for what happened to them. This is especially the case with churches on the right-wing fringe of Evangelicalism. More than one girl has been forced to stand before her church and “confess” her sins. Imagine being raped by a church leader, only to be forced to apologize for being such an easy target for the rapist.

I have some advice I would like to give to testifying pastors. SHUT THE HELL UP! Don’t testify. Don’t be a character reference. Don’t talk up the abuser’s good works and family. Instead, support the victims and their families. Help them find professional care for their psychological scars. Let the criminal face the just consequences of his behavior. Surely you have not forgotten that the Bible says that a man reaps what he sows. There will be plenty of time for you to minister to your convicted church member or colleague in the ministry. In open court is not the time or place.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

November 1, 2022
Herschel Walker and the “Born Again” Excuse for Bad Behavior

“Let’s get men out of women’s sports. they’re telling the young kids in school, you can be a boy tomorrow even if you’re a girl … But I want the young kids to know you go to heaven. Jesus may not recognize you. Because he made you a boy. He made you a girl.”

“As a born-again Christian, I believe God actively and directly influences me to action.”

“We have the DNA of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

— Herschel Walker

Herschel Walker, whose claim to fame is that he forty years ago scored fifty-three touchdowns for the University of Georgia football team and played eleven years in the NFL, is running for the U.S. Senate seat currently occupied by Ralphael Warnock. Walker, an Evangelical Christian was endorsed by Republican kingmaker, disgraced ex-president, and consummate liar Donald Trump. Early on, Republican operatives knew Walker had some “problems” in his past. Well, we now know that those problems are lying about his college grades, graduation, and work history; children with multiple women (whom he abandoned); lying about contributions from his charitable foundation; paying for a woman to have an abortion.

Walker is running on a “family values” platform. He is stridently anti-abortion; a forced birther who wants to criminalize ALL abortions, including in the case of rape, incest, and the life of the mother. Walker has children with three different women, yet he largely has played no part in their lives. Family values, my ass. Astoundingly, despite all these allegations, Walker is in a close race with Warnock. What gives?

Walker is an Evangelical Christian. Sometime in his life — allegedly after all of the “sins” mentioned in this post — he became born again. Walker said he had mental health problems before Jesus saved him, but his present behavior suggests that those problems still remain. As I have watched the Walker story unfold in recent days, it is evident that he is a pathological liar, much like his hero Donald Trump. He simply cannot tell the truth.

Walker believes that because he has been “born again,” all his past, present, and future sins are forgiven. In his mind, the blood of Jesus washes all his sins away, never to be remembered again. And if God has forgiven him, so should everyone else.

Walker’s beliefs are quite common in Evangelical circles. The blood of Jesus and forgiveness are used to cover all sorts of heinous behavior. That’s why we see preachers such as Ted Haggard do things most of us think are immoral, if not criminal, yet after spending six months or a year rehabbing or leaving their church, we find them preaching again. Why? God has forgiven them, and so should everyone else. After all, 1 John 1:9 says: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. No matter what “sin” an Evangelical commits, all he has to do is confess his sin to God and he will instantaneously be forgiven. Awesome, right?

Of course, building one’s moral and ethical foundation on a singular Bible verse is a bad idea. While the Bible does speak a lot about forgiveness — both from God and towards one another — it also says that repentance and restitution are required before forgiveness can be granted. And that’s what’s missing in Walker’s life. I see no signs of repentance and restitution. He wants forgiveness without doing the work. While it is not up to me to forgive Walker for anything, Georgia Republican voters should not “forgive” Walker by giving him a Senate seat until he first repents (publicly confessing and owning his behavior) and makes restitution (paying child support and recanting his lies). And once this genuinely happens, I suspect Walker will understand that he has no business being a U.S. senator; that his time should be spent reconnecting with his children and seeking help from a competent secular counselor.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

October 7, 2022
A Christian-Turned-Atheist Teen Asks, How Do I Forgive Myself for My Past Beliefs and the Harm I Caused to Other People?

Last month — I am thirty days behind on answering my email — I received a thoughtful email from an atheist teenager who attends a Christian school. At the time he started attending this school, he was a believer. Eventually, he began to doubt, and now he is an atheist. The school used him as a shining advertisement for what a good Christian should be. This young man is having a hard time forgiving himself for being deceived by such a dangerous, harmful theology; for being anti-LGBTQ. He asked me if I had any advice for him that would help him forgive himself.

I have struggled with this question myself over the years. I was an Evangelical pastor for twenty-five years. I directly affected thousands of people with my teaching, preaching, and expectations. I taught people all sorts of harmful beliefs. Worse yet, I modeled behaviors and practices that negatively affected both church members and my family. I was an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) preacher for many years, especially during the early years of my marriage to Polly and the formative years of our six children.

Polly and I had a patriarchal, complementarian marriage. These beliefs materially harmed Polly, for which she carries psychological scars to this day. The same can be said for our children. Our beliefs about family and discipline harmed our children. I was the primary disciplinarian in our family, using the rod of correction to beat our three sons into submission. Fortunately, I came to see that such discipline was child abuse, so our youngest son and two daughters were spared the ass-whippings.

We, of course, modeled to church members what we believed and practiced in our home. It’s not that I was deliberately abusive as much as it was that I believed the Bible taught a certain way of family structure and discipline; the same structure and discipline that was modeled to me by my parents, pastors, and the churches I attended. Attending an IFB college only reinforced these beliefs, convincing me they were right. Until I became persuaded that I was wrong, I continued to practice the “Biblical” way of family life, marriage, and discipline. How could I have ever done otherwise? Everything around me screamed that I was right. My literalist interpretation of the Bible said I was right. It would take me thirty years to reach a place where I could admit that I was wrong.

This young man talks about forgiving himself. While I was a true-blue believer a lot longer than he was, I do understand the struggle over trying to figure out how I could ever have believed what I did. It seems clear to me now that I had bat-shit crazy beliefs; that those beliefs materially harmed not only myself but also other people. I was fifty years old before I walked away from Christianity. Why didn’t I come to the light sooner? Indoctrination and social conditioning play a big part in training generation after generation about the faith once delivered to the saints — the Evangelical, IFB version of it, anyway. How could I have believed otherwise? The church was my life. I was largely insulated from the world, outside of playing sports and my work for various secular companies and government entities. There was nothing in my world that said to me that I was wrong. In fact, every preacher I heard preach and every book I read reminded me that I was right; that my beliefs and practices were in line with the Bible.

The best advice I can give to the letter writer is this: carefully, honestly, and openly examine your life and the experiences that led to your decision to believe in Jesus Christ and attend a Christian school. Look at these things from a sociological perspective. Self-examination and self-reflection are essential in understanding your motivations and desires. Once you have done this, forgive yourself, and determine that you will think differently going forward; that your life will be governed by reason, skepticism, and common sense. As I look at my life as a Christian, I see that I was not skeptical; I valued faith over reason, and this led to me having irrational beliefs and practices.

I have found it to be much harder to forgive myself for what I did to my wife, children, and church members. My beliefs caused them harm, both psychologically and physically. With these people, restitution is required before forgiveness can be given. So, over the past fifteen years, I have tried to make things right with Polly and our grown children and people who once called me preacher. When given an opportunity, I have apologized for the harm I caused them. The good news is that to a person they have forgiven me. They have shown me grace and forgiveness, understanding that I was a product of my environment; that I ignorantly taught and modeled the beliefs that were taught and modeled to me.

The letter writer is in a somewhat different position from the one I was in. He is a minor and lives at home. I don’t know how religious his parents are, what sect they are a part of, and how open they will be if he honestly shares with them his feelings. This is why he must tread carefully, lest he finds himself in trouble with his parents, or worse yet, thrown out of the home. I have advised some atheist minors in similar circumstances, to fake it until they make it; wait to fully share their lack of belief until they are out of the house and on their own.

The goal for this young man should be making restitution to people he feels he has wronged with his past religious beliefs. However, even here he must be careful. What will the administration of his school say when they learn he is an atheist; that he is apologizing for his past beliefs? I’m inclined to think that this will not go over very well with them, and could lead to discipline or expulsion. Making things right may mean waiting until after graduation to do so.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

September 29, 2022
How Asking “Why?” Can be Wrongly Used to Absolve People of Bad Behavior

I typically talk with my counselor once a week. Today was my scheduled appointment. We spent most of our time talking about my Fundamentalist Baptist grandparents, John and Ann Tieken. Last week, I wrote a lengthy post about John and Ann. You can read this post here. Afterward, I received a vile, nasty comment from Dr. David Tee, whose real name is Derrick Thomas Thiessen. I responded to his comment here.

Writing about John and Ann was necessary, but doing so dredged up a lot of shit, some of which was buried deep in the recesses of my mind. I felt a sense of release and relief after writing the post. My counselor asked me, “so how do you feel today?” Before I answered that question, we talked about how my pastors, youth leaders, and Sunday school teachers taught me that I was obligated to always love and forgive people, no matter what they did to me. We talked about how the “blood of Jesus” was used as a cover for bad behavior, allowing perpetrators to escape personal accountability for their behavior. We also talked about that seminal moment in the late 1990s when I finally had enough of John and Ann and cut them out of my life; a decision I do not regret. I am glad that my children and grandchildren will never know John and Ann; never have to listen to their lectures and be demeaned by them; never have to watch their parents be berated and diminished by their Jesus-loving, family-hating grandparents. (Our three oldest children have vague memories of them, mostly from Christmases at my mom’s home in Columbus. Our oldest son likely saw John and Ann less than a dozen times in his first twenty years of life.)

“So how do you feel today?” my counselor, Melissa, asked. I replied, “I find myself asking ‘why?’ Why did John and Ann behave the way they did? Were they abused as children? What were their childhoods like?” In asking this question, I was looking for some way to justify their behavior or gain understanding that would allow me to forgive them.”

My counselor told me that the “why” question is a common question asked by trauma survivors. They are desperately looking for an explanation for why their abuser harmed them. I had convinced myself that if I only knew about John’s and Ann’s upbringing it would help me understand why they treated me the way they did. “Here’s the thing, Bruce,” my counselor softly said. “The ‘why” doesn’t matter, even if they were abused as children. They are responsible for their behavior.”

— Light goes on in my head —

Of course, my asking “why” gives John and Ann a way out; a way to avoid being held accountable for the harm they caused to me personally, to Polly, and to my mother. Regardless of their upbringing, John and Ann did what they did, and they must be held responsible for their behavior, including the rape of my mother as a child by John.

Our discussion turned to “forgiveness.” I told my counselor that had no plans to forgive John and Ann; that forgiveness, in my mind, is predicated on owning one’s behavior and making restitution. Since John and Ann spent my entire life hiding behind the blood of Christ and God’s forgiveness, I see no reason to forgive them. I am a forgiving person, but I don’t owe anyone forgiveness. Even if my grandparents had owned their bad behavior and made amends, I am not sure I would have forgiven them. As a Christian? Probably. But as an atheist and a humanist, probably not. I suspect I would have thanked them and walked away, thinking of my mom’s last moments before she killed herself. “John and Ann, you played an instrumental part in my beautiful mom’s death. May you rot in Hell.”

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

September 8, 2022