Menu Close

Tag: Hurricane Harvey

Songs of Sacrilege: Joel Osteen by Roy Zimmerman

roy zimmerman

This is the one hundred and fiftieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Joel Osteen by Roy Zimmerman.

Video Link

How Many Prayers Does it Take to Stop a Hurricane?

hurricane irma prayer 4

Evangelicals fall into three camps when it comes to the recent spate of hurricanes, tropical storms, and flooding. One camp says these weather events are retribution from God over homosexuality, same-sex marriage, abortion, or _________________ (fill in blank with latest “sin” Evangelicals are offended by). The second camp sees these events as tests of their faith; that God is ready and willing to perform miraculous works if they will but storm the throne room of Heaven with their prayers. A smattering of Evangelicals, deeply immersed in the teachings of John Calvin, believe that God is the divine weatherman; that recent weather events are manufactured and controlled by God — according to his sovereign — often secret —  purpose and plan. I recently wrote a post on this third camp titled, Hurricane Harvey: Where is God When the Flood Waters Rise?.

Today, I want to write about the second camp: Evangelicals who see hurricanes, flooding, and other cataclysmic events as tests of their faith; that God desires to hear and answer their prayers, if and when enough Christians, in one accord, pray for him to come to their rescue. Presently, social media is flooded with hurricane levels of praying. Some of these praying Evangelicals believe that since Hurricane Irma was not as bad as weathermen thought it would be, this is proof that God heard and answered their prayers.

Hemant Mehta, the Friendly Atheist, recently wrote a post titled These People Think Their Prayers Had an Impact on Hurricane Irma. Hemant shared social media screen shots to illustrate his post:

hurricane irma prayer 5 hurricane irma prayer 6 hurricane irma prayer 7 hurricane irma prayer 7 hurricane irma prayer 9 hurricane irma prayer hurricane irma prayer 2 hurricane irma prayer 3

These Christians, along with countless other praying believers, think that their prayers reached a certain numerical threshold upon which God answered their prayers; that if they will only keep praying and encourage other people to pray, the sheer number of their prayers will reach the “stop hurricane in its tracks” level. Evidently, God is a busy man. If Christians want him to stop what he is doing and answer their prayers, there better be a lot of praying going on. This is the Evangelical version of the government petition website established by President Barack Obama. If a petition reached a signature threshold, the government would respond to the petition. So it is with God and prayers.

The number of prayers required for God to answer must be quite high. I am certain that tens of millions of devout, Jesus-loving, church-going, sin-hating Evangelicals prayed for God to turn aside hurricanes Harvey and Irma. Based on damage reports coming out of Texas, it is evident that Evangelicals must not have prayed enough prayers for God to stop his vacation early and deliver Houstonians and other Texans from Harvey’s murderous rampage. However, according to the aforementioned praying Christians, the “you are a winner” level was met and God reduced Irma from a category 5 storm to a category 2. Evidently, not enough Christians prayed, so God refused to stop Irma in her tracks. God did — thanks to his tender mercies, love, and kindness —  however, turn down the wind, lessening the carnage wrought upon Florida. Or so Christians say, anyway.

A friend of mine on Facebook by the name of Bonnie has several Christian friends who resolutely and infallibly believe that the prayers of God’s chosen ones led to a better storm outcome in Florida than in Texas. Trying to point out the absurdity of their comments falls on deaf ears. No amount of skepticism, reason, and science moves them. These prayer warriors know what they know, and facts will not move them off the notion that prayer can and does change things. They are certain that God not only listens to their prayers, but he also, when so inclined, answers them.

I learned long ago that people who believe in supernatural magic — a God-man who lives in heaven and is capable of hearing millions of prayers at the same time, will, on rare occasions answer Christian prayers — cannot be reached with reason, facts, and logic. Convinced that they can manipulate the material world though uttering words to the ceiling or saying silent words in their minds, these worshipers of the one true God are impervious to arguments and data that challenge their worldview. These believers in the prayer-answering God will continue to pray because it is the only way they can make sense of the world. They want to and must believe that their lives have meaning and purpose; that the Christian God loves them and has a wonderful plan for their lives; that this God is their Father and he is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Using the recent carnage in Texas and Florida as a focal point, ask yourselves, is God acting like a loving, caring Father? Is God acting in ways that would lead people to think that he is your BFF? Some readers might ask, How can we know what God can and can’t do or what God did or didn’t do during the recent weather events? This question, from an Evangelical perspective, is quite easy to answer. God is the Creator, the first-cause of EVERYTHING. The Christian God is all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-powerful. He is the sovereign Lord over the heavens and the earth. Nothing happens that is not according to his divine purpose and plan. Whether he actively decrees things or passively allows them to happen, God is in full control of what happens. He has the absolute power to stop or change events such as hurricanes Harvey and Irma. If people are maimed and killed, it is because God commanded it or allowed it to happen. The thoughts and ways of this God — Jesus is his name — are above ours, and as the Apostle Paul stated in the book of Romans, we are not to question what he does or doesn’t do. In other words, God is always right, regardless whether a hurricane kills zero people or three thousand. Simply put, God is God, shut the hell up.

I am grateful that Irma turned out not to be as deadly and destructive as it could have been. The weather is an unpredictable beast. Weathermen trained in meteorological science and predictive methodology do what they can to warn us when bad weather is headed our way. Sometimes, they miss the mark; other times they are spot on. Either way, prudent people pay attention to weather reports. I am always amused at Evangelical hypocrisy when it comes to “trusting” God during severe weather events. If God is as caring and powerful as Christians say he is, then why don’t praying believers hunker down and pray out the storm? Surely the God who promised to never leave or forsake Christians would be right there with them as the winds blow and the flood water rise. While a handful of Evangelicals will foolishly put their God to the test, most of them wisely and prudently flee to safer and higher ground. Their behavior in times of calamity reveals that Evangelicals talk and pray a good line, but when push comes to hurricane, they will do all they can to keep from being killed. When forced to ride out severe weather, many Christians will make sure their pantries are stocked, water bottles are filled, and that they have the necessary supplies to successfully weather whatever comes their way. Again, why not trust God to meet their every need — as Elijah did at Brook Cherith when God sent ravens daily to bring the prophet bread and meat (I Kings 17)?

Try as they might to paint themselves as benighted beings who live on some sort of supernatural plane of existence, Christians are, in every way, quite human. Much like the unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines they condemn and deem sinful vermin, Evangelicals like houses, lands, and property, love their families, and they want, to quote the venerable Spock, to Live Long and Prosper. Doing so requires, not prayer, but human decision and action. Nothing fails like prayer, and all the anecdotal stories in the world won’t change this fact. Prayers might provide comfort to those inclined to believe that God exists, but I suspect, for many Christians, praying is an exercise they know is futile and changes nothing. They pray because the Bible commands them to and their upbringing demands it, but deep down they doubt the value and efficacy of praying.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Hurricanes Are God’s Judgment on Gay America by Rick Joyner and Jim Bakker

fear the gay agenda

This is the one hundred and fifty-eighth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of Hurricanes Are God’s Judgment on Gay America by Rick Joyner and Jim Bakker.

Video Link

Rick Stedman Gives God All the Credit for Hurricane Harvey Relief Effort

rick stedman

Rick Stedman, an Evangelical pastor, recently wrote an article for Fox News that asked the question, Where is God in the Terrible Tragedy in Houston? I tackled the same question last week in a post titled, Hurricane Harvey: Where is God When the Flood Waters Rise? I concluded that not only did God — if the Bible is indeed true — send Hurricane Harvey, he is directly and completely responsible for all the death and destruction. If God is, as the Bible says he is, the divine weatherman, then he alone is responsible for what we humans call “acts of mother nature” or “acts of God.” In the aftermath of Harvey, humanity at its best was on its display as strangers helped and rescued strangers. Over the coming months, humans will continue to help Houston and coastal Texas recover from the devastating rains and flooding.

Stedman sees “God” in the rescue and recovery activities. Since we are all created in the image of the Christian God, Stedman theologically theorizes, this means it is God doing all the rescue and recovery work we see currently going on in Texas. Stedman writes:

When hurricanes like Harvey devastate so many lives, where is God?

That’s a really good question—one which I’ve heard whenever a hurricane, tornado, or tsunami wreaks havoc—and it deserves an honest, though maybe surprising answer.

It’s been said that tragedies bring out the best in people, and that certainly is the case in Houston. In addition—and here is my answer to the question posed above—tragedies bring out the imago in people, the biblical claim that humans are created in the image of God.

We’ve all seen the stirring TV images of people helping others in Houston. What some fail to see is the reflections of God’s own character in these moving images.

Compassionate volunteers helped nursing home patients flee before the rising waters inundated their residences. Did the volunteers always act this compassionately in the past? Or did the enormity of the crisis bring their true design, based on God’s love, to the surface?

In moments of crisis, Stedman asserts, God bubbles up to the top of our lives, leading us to act compassionately towards those who are suffering. Stedman, of course, has no evidence for his claim other than he believes it and the Bible says so.

I propose we put Stedman’s assertion to the test, say later this week when Hurricane Irma blows through Florida. Instead of humans opening up their checkbooks and making donations, gathering needed supplies, or traveling to Florida to aid rescue efforts, we should do nothing. Let’s let go and Let God. Let’s allow the Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, the Sovereign ruler of All, and the Savior of humankind, take care of Florida. Instead of opening up our hearts to Florida, let’s stay home and busy ourselves with watching college and professional football. Surely God, who balances the universe on his index finger and knows how many hairs are on seven billion heads, can alleviate the suffering and meet the needs of Floridians. You Go, God, I say. Does anyone doubt that Floridians would suffer greatly if everyone who could help didn’t and stayed home?

I don’t doubt for a moment that many of the people who help in time of human need, do so out of religious motivations. That said, their doing so doesn’t mean that the Christian God exists. Humans are capable of doing all sorts of things out of motivations that are untrue. I readily admit that millions of Americans find great value, help, and hope through believing in the existence of God. The same could be said of most of the world’s religions. However, this in no way proves the existence of God. Surely, Bruce, you don’t believe millions upon millions of people act benevolently out of belief in a lie? Yes, I do. History is replete with examples of humans being motivated to do good (and bad) things because of their commitments to religious, political, and secular ideologies. The Mormon Church, for example, is considered by most Evangelicals to be a cult. Yet, fifteen million Mormons worship a God that Evangelicals say is a fiction. Evangelicals say the same the about all other Gods but theirs. This means that non-Evangelicals who act benevolently in times of need and crisis are doing so out devotion to false Gods.

Stedman spends a few moments taking a cheap shot at atheists. Stedman writes:

Think about it: if atheistic materialism is true, don’t you think we would have become used to death in 3+ billion years of life on planet Earth? Wouldn’t we have settled the case that human deaths are par for the course and shouldn’t trouble us more than the death of a plant or pet?

Stedman is evidently ignorant of the fact that thinking, reasoning homo sapiens have been around for less than 500,000 years. As far as getting used to death, while most atheists may be quite stoic and matter-of-fact about the natural process called death, we certainly haven’t gotten used to it, and neither have Christians. No one likes facing the prospect of death, of losing people they dearly love. Christians try to placate their feelings by believing in the afterlife and heaven — a time and place when God’s faithful will be rewarded with an eternity of prostrating themselves in worship before God. Christians deal with death by resting on the promise of Heaven. Jesus — putting his carpenter skills to use while waiting for his Father to tell him it is time for the rapture — is busy building rooms in the Trump Tower of Heaven® for every person who has the right beliefs. While death causes sadness for Evangelicals, they know — or so they think, anyway — that in the not too distant future their room will be ready and they will be reunited with Christian loved ones who have gone on to Heaven before them. (This thinking, by the way, is a gross distortion of orthodox/historic Christian theology concerning death and resurrection.) Death, then, becomes somethings that must be endured, with a divine payoff awaiting beyond the veil.

hurricane harvey

Atheists, of course, do not believe such nonsense. Ever the realists, atheists know, based on the evidence at hand, that humans only get one stab at this thing called life. There is no afterlife, no second chances, no heaven or hell. When death comes knocking at our doors, that is the end for us. All that matters, then, is this present life. Unlike many Christians who devalue the present in hope of finding great reward beyond the grave, atheists embrace life with gusto, knowing that dead people — Jesus included — don’t come back to live. Every homo sapien who has ever walked upon the face of planet of earth has died, or will die in the future. Cemeteries are poignant reminders of the permanence of death. Living in denial of these facts doesn’t change them. Death will, one day, likely sooner than later, come calling for each and every one of us. Knowing this, how then should we live? If we care about our parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, extended family, friends, and neighbors, how should we respond when the Hurricane Harveys of life come our/their way causing heartache and destruction? Why, we act and do what we can help others. Why? Because we love them and desire a better life for those who are important to us. We can extend this farther to people we don’t know. Surely, atheists and Christians alike want to see suffering alleviated and wrecked neighborhoods returned to wholeness. Must we believe in God to care?

Stedman admits that it “appears” that God is nowhere to be found as we survey the havoc wreaked on Texas by Hurricane Harvey. However, according to Stedman, appearances can be deceiving:

God is not absent but is very, very subtle. He hides himself in plain sight, but can be found when we learn how to decipher the clues that point toward his presence. And the clues are abundant right now in Houston.

In other words, God is playing a game of hide and seek. We can’t find him, but, Stedman assures us, God is here, there, and everywhere. Stedman sounds like man who is tripping on LSD. He is seeing pink elephants where there are none. Stedman needs to see God lest his absence invalidates his theological beliefs and renders moot his assertion that God is alive and present in our day-to-day lives.

As an atheist, I believe in giving credit to whom credit is due. When God shows up and does the work, I will gladly give him the credit. Until then, I plan to continue to praising and thanking my fellow human beings for the good they do. They alone deserve my praise and thanks.

The next time Stedman talks with his God, perhaps he can ask him WHY he sent Hurricane Harvey to start with? Explain to inquiring minds, Pastor, why your God caused so much suffering, devastation, and death. Did he do what he did so Christians would look good or have something to do besides watching football? If the Christian God is the compassionate, caring deity Stedman says he is, why doesn’t the Big Man Upstairs make sure the weather everywhere is as sunny and delightful as San Diego? From my seat in the atheist pew, it is hard for me to see a loving, caring, compassionate God at work in his creation. If I were God, I certainly wouldn’t have sent a Hurricane Harvey to Texas just so I could give them a test. In my mind, those who could alleviate suffering and don’t are the worst of people (and gods). The good news is that most Christians are far better people than their God. And hand in hand with atheists, agnostics, and people who worship other deities, Christians can help to make the world better for all who will come after us.

Hurricane Harvey: Where is God When the Flood Waters Rise?

houston texas hurricane harvey

Houston, Texas, and other coastal cities are under water, thanks to Hurricane Harvey. The devastation, suffering, and misery are widespread, resulting in horrific death and untold property loss. These communities, much like New Orléans in 2005, will be dealing with the aftermath of Harvey for months and years to come. The political spectacle in Harvey’s wake put forth by Not-My-President Donald Trump and Texas’ Republican congressmen would be laughable if it wasn’t for the backdrop of human suffering and loss. Trump, ever the narcissist — obsessed with the size of his penis — seems more concerned about the size of the crowd at his speech and TV ratings than he does the people of Texas. And then there are the hypocritical Republican senators and representatives, who just months ago who were adamant about massively cutting Federal spending, who are now demanding immediate and huge expenditures of taxpayer money to help Texans recover from Harvey’s torrential, record-breaking downpours.

The “fake” news media will certainly focus much of their attention on the aforementioned subjects. I want to focus, instead, on the irony of a state and cities dominated by Evangelical Christianity being inundated with God-sent, Noah-worthy floods. I am sure some Evangelicals will immediately object, saying that Harvey was a NATURAL disaster, and God should not be blamed for the devastation. Wait a minute. I thought the Evangelical God is in control of everything — that nothing happens unless the Big Man Upstairs puts in a work order?

god in control of the weatherThe Bible is clear on this matter, God is in absolute control of the weather:

And the LORD turned a mighty strong west wind, which took away the locusts, and cast them into the Red sea; there remained not one locust in all the coasts of Egypt. Exodus 10:19

And there went forth a wind from the LORD, and brought quails from the sea, and let them fall by the camp, as it were a day’s journey on this side, and as it were a day’s journey on the other side, round about the camp, and as it were two cubits high upon the face of the earth. Numbers 11:31

For he looketh to the ends of the earth, and seeth under the whole heaven; To make the weight for the winds; and he weigheth the waters by measure. When he made a decree for the rain, and a way for the lightning of the thunder: Job 28:24-26

But the LORD sent out a great wind into the sea, and there was a mighty tempest in the sea, so that the ship was like to be broken. Jonah 1:4

But God prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered. And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.  Jonah 4:7,8

He caused an east wind to blow in the heaven: and by his power he brought in the south wind.  Psalm 78:26

These see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep. For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.  Psalm 107:24,25

He causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings for the rain; he bringeth the wind out of his treasuries. Psalm 135:7

And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marveled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him! Matthew 8:25-27

Behold, to morrow about this time I will cause it to rain a very grievous hail, such as hath not been in Egypt since the foundation thereof even until now. Exodus 9:18

And Moses stretched forth his rod toward heaven: and the LORD sent thunder and hail, and the fire ran along upon the ground; and the LORD rained hail upon the land of Egypt. Exodus 9:22

Thou shalt be visited of the LORD of hosts with thunder, and with earthquake, and great noise, with storm and tempest, and the flame of devouring fire. Isaiah 29:6

And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.Genesis 6:17

Thou didst cleave the fountain and the flood: thou driedst up mighty rivers. The day is thine, the night also is thine: thou hast prepared the light and the sun. Psalm 74:16

For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment; And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly; And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly; 2 Peter 2:4-6

For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth. Genesis 7:4

And it shall come to pass, if ye shall hearken diligently unto my commandments which I command you this day, to love the LORD your God, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, That I will give you the rain of your land in his due season, the first rain and the latter rain, that thou mayest gather in thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil. And I will send grass in thy fields for thy cattle, that thou mayest eat and be full. Deuteronomy 11:13-15

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45

For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength.  Job 37:6

god divine weather man

Now that I have established that what is currently going on in Texas is God’s doing, I want to consider the question, WHY is God doing this? According to the Pew Research Center, seventy-seven percent of Texans are Christian: thirty-one percent Evangelical, twenty-three percent Catholic, thirteen percent mainline Protestant, six percent Black Protestant, and four percent other.  Sixty-five percent of Texans believe that God created everything, including, I assume, rain. The dominant Evangelical sect is the Southern Baptist Convention. Megachurches are everywhere, including the largest church in the country — Lakewood Church in Houston Texas, pastored by the smiling, sending-prayers-your-way multi-millionaire Joel Osteen. I think I can safely say that God is big business in the Lone Star state.

When natural disasters, school shootings, and other tragic losses of life befall non-Texans, God’s prophets in Texas often thunderously say from Mount Self-Righteousness that these events are due to abortion, homosexuality, same-sex marriage, evolution, socialism, Barack Obama, or any of the other hot-button issues that keep Evangelicals up at night — besides YouPorn, that is. Where are all these prophets now with their doom, gloom, God-is-going-to-get-you declarations? Surely the land of Baptists and Republicans is not exempt from God’s judgment. For what, exactly, is God judging Texas? Surely there is no need for anyone to pray. These so-called men of God have shown that they have a direct-line to the Evangelical God’s office. Is the phone line now silent? WHY did their vending machine, on-demand, pour out his wrath on Texas?

I am sure other Evangelicals might throw up the old canard: God’s thought are not our thoughts, God’s ways are not our ways. Who are we to question why God does what he does. Wait another minute. Evangelicals have no problem speaking authoritatively on virtually everything — including that which they know nothing about. But now that disaster has come to their front porch and is materially affecting them, they are clueless as to God’s purposes and design?

Other Evangelicals will likely suggest that Harvey is meant to test the faith of God’s faithful. Think about this for a moment. Last Thursday, God the Evangelical Father is sitting in Heaven’s Board Room with Jesus, Gabriel, and Satan talking about what he plans to do over the weekend:

Let’s see, I think I will send a hurricane and flooding to the coastal region of Texas. Jesus, tell Zeus, Ba’al, and Tezcatlipoca to prepare to ravage Texas with wind,rain, and flooding. Make sure there is billions of dollars property destruction and loss of life. And why you are at it, drown a mother and leave her toddler daughter hanging on to her for dear life. Cool, right? Sure to get BIG ratings! And remind everyone who dares to “prayerfully” complain, that I am the Lord God Almighty and I can do whatever the hell I want to do. Oh, and before I forget, make all of this a test. You know, one of our special tests that make absolutely no sense and for which the answer will always be a m-y-s-t-e-r-y.

I have written all of this to show the absurdity of invoking God’s name in the midst of natural disasters. The God of Evangelicals is a figment of their imagination, and no amount of prayers will stop the rising flood waters currently washing over Texas’ lowlands. What is desperately needed is governmental and human intervention. Imagine leaving everything to the God who supposedly has everything in control; the God who whispers in the ears of suffering Evangelicals, No worries, I’ve got it.

My thoughts are with the people of Texas, especially my friends who are greatly suffering at this time. While I can’t offer up a prayer, light a candle, or utter a “what the fuck, God?” I can use my voice to make sure that the powers that be do all they can to help those affected by Hurricane Harvey. Now is not the time for partisan political squabbling over money. People are in desperate need of help, and local, state and federal government agencies need to do all they can to meet their needs. Left for another day will be discussions about FEMA, the wisdom of building in flood plains, sprawling development, global climate change, and the Federal flood insurance program. For now, food, water, shelter, medical care, and safety are all that matter.

Note

After writing this post, I did stumble upon a couple of Evangelical preachers who think the flooding in Houston is God’s judgment over abortion, homosexuality, Planned Parenthood, and a former lesbian mayor. Damn, those Lesbians!! It’s all their fault. (That’s snarky sarcasm, by the way.)

First up is Dave “Coach” Daubenmire.

Video Link

And then there’s Rick “You are a Dick” Wiles.

Right Wing Watch had this to say:

End Times radio host Rick Wiles used his “TruNews” broadcast yesterday to declare that the damage caused by Hurricane Harvey is God’s punishment for Houston’s “affinity for the sexual perversion movement.”

“This is a proud city that, in recent years, has boasted of its allegiance, its dedication, its devotion to the homosexual/lesbian agenda,” he said.

Wiles asserted that Houston is under God’s judgment because it formerly had a mayor who is a lesbian, currently has “a pro-homosexual mayor,” has persecuted Christian pastors in the city and is among “the top-tier, most gay-friendly cities in America.”

“How’s it working out for them right now?” he asked. “Here’s a city that has boasted of its LGBT devotion, it’s affinity for the sexual perversion movement in America. They’re underwater.”

A Charismatic prophetess by the name of Pamela Banda, to whom God gives revelations of what will happen in the future, had the following “vision” on May 24, 2016:

Well on Tuesday May 24 2016, this is what happened. I got off work at 6 am and I was really tired. I ate something, got in bed with my son, and said a short prayer that went like this, “Papa Yahweh, in the name of Yahshua I repent. I ask that your will be done with me and Zion (my son) as we sleep. I pray for divine safety and divine protection. Amen.”

I hadn’t been praying heavy like I should, but in this small prayer I said Yahshua I repent. Well, I turned my head towards the wall and I hadn’t even closed my eyes for a minute before I instantly saw a vision.

I suddenly found myself up in the air in the city of Houston TX. It was daytime. It looked like it was around 10 am. In front of me I could see about four tall gas tanks and other normal things you would see in the city. I live outside of Houston, but I don’t know where the oil tanks are. As I zoomed in on the gas tanks I could see they all had thick black smoke coming from them and one had caught on fire. I thought it was strange to see tall gas tanks in the city because I mostly see them in industrial areas.

Next to the gas tanks was an apartment complex that looked like it was about four or five stories high. All of the sudden, the fire that was on one of the gas tank jumped onto the apartment complex!

All of a sudden the oil tanks caught on fire and, when they did, there was an apartment complex next to them that caught on fire as well. Then the whole apartment building just collapsed. I was in utter shock.

Then out of the corner of my right eye I saw a wave of water that looked around five feet high from where I was up in the air. So it was not as tall as the buildings, but enough to cause severe damage. After that it was like a ripple effect. When I saw the water, I said, “Where did this water come from?” I wondered because I was in the city, nowhere near the beach.

Then the Holy Spirit said, “The water represents judgment. Judgment is coming to Houston and it will be destroyed, desolate, and uninhabitable.”

Again I was stunned! Houston was being destroyed! I got scared because people were screaming and there was nothing anyone could do because it was happening so fast.

I closed my eyes and said, “Yahshua!”

I think the wave of water is what did it for me. Then the water retracted, but then it came back again with force and strong winds. The water was destroying everything in sight. Cars were being flipped over and everything was catching on fire.

When the winds came it moved me in the air and that was when I began to panic because until then I thought I was only seeing a vision. I began to hear people screaming and I suddenly realized none of us were not going to make it. So I began to think, “Oh no!” And I started yelling, “I Repent, I Repent.”

I closed my eyes and said Yahshua several times, then I finally came out of the vision. I opened my eyes and I was in my room, shocked at how real everything was I had just seen and so relieved I didn’t wake up in hell. I was made to understand that if you are in Houston on that day you will not survive. The sky was clear, so nobody was expecting it.

When I came out of the vision, I said to the Lord, “I don’t live in Houston, I live in the Woodlands.”

He said, “Where you are, you are not safe.”

So I prayed and asked Him, “What are my instructions?”

After that prayer, I went to sleep for real. I was so tired, I didn’t dream of anything, but when I woke up, I heard God say to me, “Tell them to seek me and I will tell them where to go for safety. Tell the church three things they need to do.”

If you dare, go read the comments on Banda’s post. Chocked full of grade A prime cray cray.

I suppose I should leave space for when John Piper, Al Mohler, and their fellow Calvinists weigh in on why Hurricane Harvey was all part of God’s master plan. John Piper, in particular, always seems to have time for defending God when natural disaster occur — that is when he isn’t too busy trashing and railing against the LGBTQ community. You can read Piper’s words about the 2007 Interstate 35W bridge collapse here.