Simple Contact Form for Evangelicals

Dear Evangelical,

Today you stumbled upon The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser.  You did a Google or Bing search and  The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser was on the first page of search results. You are shocked and upset by what this Bruce Gerencser guy writes. You want to give him a piece of your mind, in Jesus’s name, so you went to the contact form page to do so. On the page you read:

If you would like to contact Bruce Gerencser, please use the following form.  If your email warrants a response I will respond as soon as possible. Due to persistent health problems, I cannot guarantee a timely response. Sometimes,I am several weeks behind on responding to email. My delay doesn’t mean I don’t care. It does mean I can only do what I can do. I hope you understand.

If you are an Evangelical Christian that has a pathological need to evangelize, I am not interested in hearing from you. Threats of hell, God’s judgment, and the like are not welcome. Neither are “I’m praying for you” emails or emails with Bible quotes. Whatever you think God wants you to tell me, I have already heard it. Thousands have come before you, so there is no need for you to email me. If you ignore my request, please be advised that I reserve the right to make your message, name, and email address public.

I do not accept unsolicited guest posts.  Please do not email me about writing a guest post. I will not respond to your request.

I have no need of help with SEO, Google ranking, or web design. I use a managed WordPress service and my ranking on Google is first page on most subjects I write about. I do NOT need your help, so please do not email me trying to selling me the latest, greatest way to improve my Google ranking.

I have no interest in buying Facebook likes, Twitter followers, or anything else you might be selling. Please do not email me with your sales pitch.

Everyone else? I would love to hear from you.

You thought, who cares what this Bruce Gerencser guys thinks? GOD wants me to send him an email. GOD wants me to set him straight!! And so you furiously type away and click SEND.

Your email will be just like the email of hundreds of Evangelicals (Fundamentalists) before you. In an effort to help Evangelical readers save some time so they will have more time to pray, read their Bible, and evangelize people who don’t want evangelized, I have made the following Simple Contact Form for Evangelicals:

Name: (Put in fake name because you are so fearless)

Email Address: (Put in fake email address because God knows who you are)

Reason for Contacting Bruce Gerencser (Check all that apply)

_____To tell him he is wrong

_____To preach to him

_____To quote Bible verses to him

_____To evangelize him

_____To tell him he doesn’t know anything about the Bible

_____To let him know God still loves him

_____To let him know I am praying for him

_____To tell him he never was a Christian

_____To tell him he is going to hell

_____To tell him he is still saved and can never be un-saved

_____To tell him he was/is a false prophet

_____To tell him he was/is a wolf in sheep’s clothing

_____To tell him he is angry

_____To tell him he is bitter

_____To tell him his writing shows he has been hurt

_____To tell him he is fat

_____To tell him I hope he burns in hell

_____To tell him that I am praying God will kill him

_____To tell him that he has a meaningless, empty life

_____To tell him he is going to die soon and then he will find out THE TRUTH!

_____To tell him that I know THE TRUTH about him!

Once you have completed the form, please click the send button below.

send button

What? You can’t send it? This must be an atheist conspiracy to keep you from exercising your Christian nation Constitutional right to say whatever you want to Bruce Gerencser. By all means, please continue to click the send button. After you have done so a few hundred times and are thoroughly frustrated and irritated, then you will know how I feel after hundreds of Evangelicals have sent me repetitive emails saying one or more of the things listed above.

Here are a few things you need to understand about me:

  • I likely know more about the Bible and theology than you do
  • You are not going to tell me anything I have not heard before
  • I am an unrepentant apostate
  • I have no interest in Christianity, Jesus, or your interpretation of the Bible
  • I am immune to threats of harm or death, in real life I would probably kick your ass
  • I am a committed and circumcised atheist
  • I am a happy if you know it say amen humanist
  • I do go to church every Sunday in the fall and winter, the church of the NFL
  • I am a good, decent, kind, caring man, husband, father, grandfather, and friend
  • I love my neighbor as myself

Now, go in peace, and find someone who really wants to buy what you are selling. I don’t.

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4 Comments

  1. Timothy L. Yakich

    Bruce, I am a 53 year old who was saved on October 27, 2009. No reason, just the reality of my situation. I do have a rather simple question for you, though: The information found on each of the approximately 37 + trillion cells in each and every one of the 7.2 billion people on this earth (GOOGLE 37 trillion x 7.2 billion…it’s a lot!), the information that tells/instructs each one of those cells what to do, how to do what it does, and when to do it; all of those cells and what they do, in just one body; all those cells (in one body) came as a result of just an egg and a sperm coming together at a certain time; all that information, Bruce, where did it all come from? (I think that was a “simple” question.) – All of the information on your site either came from you, a source that you reference, or a person who visited your site, and that information had to be put in an orderly fashion or it would make no sense to anyone who was trying to decipher said information. There has to be a source. Period. So, again, Bruce, what source provides all the information found on all of the cells in any one human body? I ask you since you claim to be a “humanist”. I look forward to your insightful, humanist answer.

    Reply
    1. Geoff

      Timothy L Yakich.

      Evolution.

      Reply
  2. Brian

    Why bother with all that organized presentation, Timothy L. Yakich? Just say, the human eye, then cry out Eureka! You need to have sense made of the world as you discover it and good for you for taking it on. My older brother became a Christian not because he discovered the complex awe that is the human eye but because he wanted to stay out of prison. I cannot exactly explain how evangelical Christianity seemed to be his answer in that regard (did not work for Jimmy Bakker etc.) but it might have been a similar awe as yours, the very high numbers out there, the sperm and egg and so forth.
    Bruce is not a scientist or a biologist or even an apologist really because Atheism is mainstream as far as I can see. He was a preacher and came to a place where he discovered that he did not believe all the stuff he was paid to preach. Being an intelligent, honest biped to some degree at least, he let go of the faith that had let him down and not provided the answers he required. This is what we do, make assertions, test them out and move along in our lives. Because the world is unbelievably complex is no reason to cry out Eureka! God! Unless that works for you. If the world fascinates you like this, please keep reading and do not fall into the trap my brother did, feeling that all reading not directly biblical is a waste of time. The new president of the USA used his opportunity for a call to prayer at the recent National Prayer Breakfast, to ask all to pray with him for Arnold Schwarzenegger (is that the correct spelling?) because his ratings were apparently tanking after Trump left his post as star! I first thought it was a not too veiled insult but then I realized Trump is a Christian and his prayer is certainly the result of Christ working in his life, I guess. He is caring for others. Now it might be possible that he cared for Arnold’s ratings and feelings before his Christianity and never had the opportunity to express it but what wonderful thing that he does now, wouldn’t you say?
    Yours is a watchmaker analogy, I am supposing. There is much reading available right there, countless views and depths to plumb. I wouldn’t spend too much time on the matter with a lapsed IFB preacher! Though he is well-read… and according to other Christians more or less in your camp, Bruce is an agent of Satan, so if that is what you seek, happy hunting.

    Reply
    1. Geoff

      Brian, I’d also add to your very comprehensive response that inventing god as the creator of all things complex leads to infinite regress. If god is needed to design and create complex living organisms, then who made god? Apologists sneer at the question, as though it’s beneath their dignity, then construct ‘word salad’ answers, usually including phrases such as ‘exists in eternity’ or ‘outside of time and space’. Ultimately, however, it’s a legitimate extension to the logic that believes in god because of complexity, and which is why I consider that, logically, there is no god.

      Reply

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