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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Women Who Look at Sexy Men are Committing Adultery in Their Hearts

women dressing sexily

Let’s take the words of Jesus and apply it to women. I don’t know how many women do this, but everyone should look at these words. Men don’t have to take and convert the passage to appropriate language for men because it’s addressed to men directly. It’s our issue.

Women, though, should do this — take the words of Jesus that are addressed to men in Matthew 5:27–29 and convert them into appropriate language for women. Believe me — Tony would vouch for this, I think — based on the questions we’re getting at APJ, there are major sexual-temptation issues going on for women as well as men.

Here’s what Jesus would say if he had said those words today: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ You women, you should not commit adultery. But I say to you that every woman who looks at a man, or a woman with a sexy outfit, or a kissing scene on television, or who reads about sexual intercourse in a novel, or listens to one on Audible, or does anything else that feeds the desire to lure their eyes with sexiness has already committed adultery in her heart.” He’s going to be just as blunt with women as he is with us guys, surely. “If your right eye causes you to sin, women, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body would be thrown into hell.” Jesus says that to men and women.

Now when Jesus says, “Tear out your eye,” surely he at least means stop using the eye to feed the desire. It may not be possible to avoid every sin-awakening sight in our culture, but it is possible to keep dozens of them out of your eye. It is possible to set before you worthy things, holy things, beautiful things. “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). Surely, Paul said that because of the principle “garbage in, garbage out,” or “sexy in, sexy out.”

The principle here is this: find the streams that are feeding the river of sensual desire, and cut them off.

— John Piper, Desiring God, What Wrong with Dressing Immodestly for Attention? January 10, 2018


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    This guy is fighting human nature; he’s gonna lose. Practically all of life is based on the spark between men and women. Women know their good works are not as filthy rags, but if they’re required to stop watching kissing scenes, give up romantic novels, dress like the Amish, and have to stop appreciating sexy men, why wouldn’t they be depressed and discouraged? Sexual attraction, love, whatever you want to call it makes the world go ’round!

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    So by John Piper’s standards, God’s creation – an attractive human being – is not commendable, excellent, worthy of praise, etc? I thought god looked upon the completed creation and said it was good. Just another case of evangelicals saying humans are dung.

    Survival of our species depends on attraction. Period. What is wrong is not looking at attractive people – what is wrong is committing an act with someone if you made a commitment to someone else. I always hated hearing women act jealous if their partner looked at an attractive woman. I felt it was a symbol of low self esteem and lacy of trust in one’s partner. I told my husband to look all he wanted. Heck we have a habit of pointing out attractive people to each other. It’s fun. But I told him, if you cheat, don’t even come home, I will throw your stuff out on the lawn for you to pick up. We have been married 21 years.

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    Piper is merely preaching the Christian gospel according to Piper. He represents a religious belief that is bound and determined that a person hate themselves, their filthy attractions and worldly ways. This isn’t Christianity?

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    Ah, so consistency demands that all I need to do is ‘think’ about doing a good deed, and it’s as good as done. Sweet.

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      Spot on Jada.

      Your response calls to mind all the ‘thoughts and prayers’ sent after each tragedy the country experiences. In their mind the senders have ‘done’ something. Their pastor said so… Over and over and o……..


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    Here is my issue with Piper and those cut from the same cloth. Humans were created in the image of God but looking at one that isn’t your mate is somehow sinful and of Satan, even if the image is in your imagination.

    The cognitive dissonance of evangelical dogma makes my head hurt.

    When my husband was in the last years of his battle with cancer I communicated with him about my physical needs. In Pipers narrow view I cheated on my husband even though the hubby and I talked about each pairing before it happened. I got my needs met which meant I was better able to deal with the challenges of advanced stage cancer.

    Piper needs to pound sand. His ways have been forced upon everyone as a one size fits all solution for over a millennia.

    Time to adopt new protocols like yes means yes and no response means leave the other person alone. Time to accept what works for one marriage is good for them but not all people are ‘them’. As long as everyone in the relationship is of the age of consent and is participating of their own free will what happens in that relationship is none of my business. (Kids bring complications but that is a topic for another thread).

    If folks like Piper really want to push the issue, let’s examine the relationships of his flock first; fair is fair after all.

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    -blessed holy socks

    Yes, I assure thee, just and worthy liege,
    people who do such things, myself included,
    commit fornication withem.

    Course! sez the Source!
    You refuse to believe so!
    Precisely why you’re an atheist.
    You dont have any rules which
    govern your finite existence.

    Woe unto you at Judgement.
    Make Your Choice -SAW

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