An Evangelical Christian man by the name of Mike Keenan sent me the following email today:
I have read your testimony and if what you said is true, then you are saved no matter what you do, say or now currently believe, You are sealed and sanctified by the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption. You cannot be “Unsaved.” However because you no longer show any fruit of the Spirit and that is highly evident, you will almost certainly lose all your rewards, but you can and will never lose your inheritance which is eternal life as an adopted son of God.
You are saved Bruce and you can be anything you want to be, but if your Testimony is true then you are a brother in Christ and you always will be no matter what you classify yourself as or what you now believe.
According to Keenan, if what I say about my past and present life is true, then I am still a bought-by-the-blood, filled-with-the Holy-Ghost Christian; that there is nothing I can say or do to change this fact. I could be a serial murderer, rapist, child molester, or Donald Trump supporter — it matters not. According to Keenan, the Evangelical man who recently murdered eight people in Atlanta is still a Christian; he’s still an adopted, redeemed, and sanctified son of God who will go to Heaven after he dies. Once a person prays the sinner’s prayer and really, really, really believes in Jesus, he is forever a child of God. There is nothing he can ever do to change his eternal destination. In Baptist parlance, this is called once-saved-always-saved. No matter what evil a saved person may do, he still gets to go to Heaven when he dies. (And as side note, no matter what evil a saved person may do, the Holy Spirit (God) who lives inside of him does nothing but watch — the ultimate voyeur.)
According to Keenan, I will inherit my dad’s house when I die, but there will be no furnishings. I will spend eternity in Heaven, but will not have any of the “rewards” True Christians likes Keenan have. Evidently, God is a “what have you done for me lately?” kind of deity. I spent fifty years in the Christian church. I pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years. I spent eighty-percent of my life worshiping and serving Jesus, yet because I have spent the past twelve years talking shit about my dad and older brother, HeyZeus, when the will is read, I will receive nothing but a bare lot of land along the River of Life. Figures, Dad always favored my brother. I just knew he would get the Ford Pinto and the train collection.
Keenan says that it is “highly evident” that I no longer show any fruit of the Spirit. Is this true? Keenan doesn’t know me, yet he deems himself qualified to render judgment on my character and the quality of my life. I know, I know, typical judgmental Evangelical. However, the Bible makes it clear that Keenan errs in his judgment of me. Galatians 5:22-23 says:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Seems to me, on most days, I still have the fruit of the Spirit. I am, by all accounts, still fruity. I am not perfect, only my brother is — or so he says, anyway — but I do try to be the kind of person described in the aforementioned verses. Temperance and longsuffering do trip me up at times, but hey, Jesus was quite temperamental with Mom at the Wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12) — and no one holds that against him — so I should get a pass too. And besides, I know stuff that HeyZeus did that nobody but me (not even Dad) knows about. HeyZeus is NOT the perfect son everyone thinks he is.
Keenan tells me that I can be anything that I want to be. Wow, I sure am glad I have his permission to do so. I want to be stripper. Imagine my gig at the local strip club. “Santa Takes it All Off.” And just think, no matter how many women (and men) lust after me, I still get to go to Heaven when I die. What an amazing theology. Pray a prayer, have a momentary “experience,” spend the rest of your life in debauchery, and when you die you go to Heaven. What’s not to like, right? Well, except for the fact that there will be Evangelicals in Heaven. Definitely, a bad neighborhood.
I wonder if Keenan and other believers like him will be jealous and envious when they see the vile atheist Christian Bruce lounging by the River of Life in his speedo, their minds filled with all the fun stuff they didn’t get to do while on Earth? But, hey, they will receive their rewards, which are, according to the Bible, crowns (Crown of Life, Incorruptible Crown, Crown of Righteousness, Crown of Glory, Crown of Rejoicing) that they will cast at the feet of HeyZeus. Sure sounds like Hell for Keenan.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Just forget the damned speedo and go buff nekid by the river or wherever… and stop with the stripper stuff! That’s just old pulpit impulses! (This one gave me a good ol’ chuckle! Thanks Bruce!)
A god that needs you to speak for it, Mike, is a god not worth knowing. Lazy-ass deity.
gleefully commits the Unforgivable Sin by likening the Holy Spook to Satan
“HeyZeus, don’t let me down… Take a sad song and make it beh…teeer…”
Sorry, couldn’t resist. 🙂
Some fundies think you’re still a Christian while others think you were never a Christian and are a pawn/tool of Satan. Funny how Christians just can’t agree.
You realize people aren’t interested in your proselytizing?
God bless you Bruce.
God is TRUE. Jesus Christ is the Lord.
Just because you say something doesn’t make it true. You have no evidence for your claims. None, nada, zip. All you have is an ancient religious text (which teaches multiple plans of salvation) and a subjective experience. And that’s fine — for you. However, you are going to have to do better than that if you want me to believe in HeyZeus. Oh wait, in your delusional world, I’m already a Christian. Good to know, now piss off(spoken with a British accent).
Well, Bruce, as I see it, you are just doomed. If you are right about god, then when you die you just cease to exist, no curtain call, just oblivion. If youare wrong about god then you face either eternity in some version of hell, OR you end up homeless in Heaven, forced to live eternity with evangelicals, which, ironically, also sounds like a version of hell.
So I guess you might as well have fun now, Santa (just send me the info on the show please) and enjoy the time you have.
Unless the Buddhists and Hindus are right, then you get to do this all over again or maybe come back as a bat. At least it’s a second chance.
I’ll look for you on the front row.😂😂
Yeah me too Bruce. Me too. OSAS. I had a former fellow parishioner from our former Baptist church tell me the same thing when I told him I don’t attend church anymore. (He had no idea about my full-on apostasy.)
Well at least you’re saved. You’ll lose your rewards but you won’t lose your salvation.
Christians certainly can’t get themselves straight, can they? So desperate for external validation, they’ll even try to claim that former Christians are really still part of their herd.
a pity that Christians can’t agree on the nonsense they make up. Gee, it makes it look like you just pull this stuff out of your collective tuchus
I was a Presbyterian, so my version of this very silly god isn’t up for “once saved, always saved”.
I’ve been comfortable for a while now that when I am called to go toward the light I will be comforted on the trip by my brain protecting me from whatever. Either I get the great memory erase and emerge into a new life or a comfortable nothingness. I don’t get to choose. I’m pretty sure there is no heaven or hell.
As a result I really have no time for people telling me I should live a certain way in order to get preferential treatment when I die. I’m also sure that most of these bullies for HeyZeus will NOT get what they expect.
So even though I have deconverted I still get a golden pass to heaven where I can hang out with Son of Sam, the Atlanta mass shooter and the Manson henchman. We can all look into hell and taunt their victims who didn’t have the good sense to accept Jesus before they were slaughtered. When I get tired of this I can listen to the stories of the thousands of pedophile priests, pastors and youth leaders and find out first hand how they were able to use Jesus to abuse their victims. While we’re at it we can also taunt their victims in hell who were foolish enough to fail to accept Jesus Just because they were abused. What a wonderful place this will be!
Rewards? So it’s like, oh I don’t know, S&H Greenstamps? Are there days when you get extra points for being a good boy? Do they take points away when you’re pissy? (either figuratively or literally, I don’t care)
And I can’t believe this needs to be said again, but a lot of us have already spent eternity with a bunch of fucking Christians. No more. Thanks.
S&H Greenstamps? 😂😂 We religiously collected them when we were first married. Bought stuff from Jewel Tea and Fuller Brush too. 😂 We are getting old, sister.
“I am, by all accounts, still fruity.”
This, Bruce, is the kind of thing keeps me coming back again and again to your blog. 😀
Thank you for appreciating my humor. 🙂
You’ll lose your rewards, but you won’t lose your salvation? So, you get to live in a van down by the river, while those folks who have all the crowns are busy praising God, singing hymns, and whatever? It sounds a bit like you’d be in Heaven, while the others landed in Hell.
If you ever get “Santa Takes It All Off” together, just let us know when and where. Ohio sounds like a nice place to visit; we’ll all be there to cheer you on.
I’ll put you on the list 😂😂
Hi, Astreja. I really got a laugh reading that paragraph on Hey- Zeus, oh that was a good one, ha- ha 😁😁! As for you, Mike Keenan, it does no good to ride people about Christianity, especially if they had negative experiences in the past, from fanatics acting out, etc. So many have walked away from the churches, for valid reasons ! And one can STILL stay a Christian without attending church, which one would need to do these days, if they didn’t want to lose their mind . Now go away !
Reading this on the subway as the train bounces around on the tracks……. Hi, Astreja. I really got a laugh reading that paragraph on Hey- Zeus, oh that was a good one, ha- ha 😁😁! As for you, Mike Keenan, it does no good to ride people about Christianity, especially if they had negative experiences in the past, from fanatics acting out, etc. So many have walked away from the churches, for valid reasons ! And one can STILL stay a Christian without attending church, which one would need to do these days, if they didn’t want to lose their mind . Now go away !
Reading this on the subway as the train bounces around on the tracks……. Hi, Astreja. I really got a laugh reading that paragraph on Hey- Zeus, oh that was a good one, ha- ha 😁😁! As for you, Mike Keenan, it does no good to ride people about Christianity, especially if they had negative experiences in the past, from fanatics acting out, etc. So many have walked away from the churches, for valid reasons ! And one can STILL stay a Christian without attending church, which one would need to do these days, if they didn’t want to lose their mind . Now go away ! Hey-Zeus, don’t let me down indeed, lol. Really takes me back, that line. As well as ” feet, don’t fail me now!”
Reading this on the subway as the train bounces around on the tracks……. Hi, Astreja. I really got a laugh reading that stanza with “Hey- Zeus”, oh that was a good one, ha- ha 😁😁! As for you, Mike Keenan, it does no good to ride people about Christianity, especially if they had negative experiences in the past, from fanatics acting out, etc. So many have walked away from the churches, for valid reasons ! And one can STILL stay a Christian without attending church, which one would need to do these days, if they didn’t want to lose their mind . Now go away ! Hey-Zeus, don’t let me down indeed, lol. Really takes me back, that line. As well as ” feet, don’t fail me now!”
Reading this on the subway as the train bounces around on the tracks……. Hi, Astreja. I really got a laugh reading that stanza with “Hey- Zeus”, oh that was a good one, ha- ha 😁😁! Ditto those Green Stamps, a trip down memory lane, man, I could use a time machine for a do-over! As for you, Mike Keenan, it does no good to ride people about Christianity, especially if they had negative experiences in the past, from fanatics acting out, etc. So many have walked away from the churches, for valid reasons ! And one can STILL stay a Christian without attending church, which one would need to do these days, if they didn’t want to lose their mind . Now go away ! Hey-Zeus, don’t let me down indeed, lol. Really takes me back, that line. As well as ” feet, don’t fail me now!”