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Just the Man for the Job

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Guest post by MJ Lisbeth

(Warning: Sarcasm follows!)

Rudy Giuliani’s law license has been suspended in New York. That means Donald Trump could be headed to prison . . . unless he faces a sympathetic judge and jury. In that case, he might be sentenced to community service.

Now, we all know that such a sentence works best when the person sentenced is given a job commensurate with his or her talents, skills, experience, and temperament. Now, I don’t know how many slots there are for guys who’ve destroyed everything in their path to build garish condominium towers and casinos — and stiffed everyone, from the ones who mixed the drinks to the banks who lent him the money. But I should think that there must be something out there for a reality TV host, spreader of alternative realities, and all-around huckster, I mean, communicator. And I can’t help but think there might even be a job for someone who, after James Alex Fields Jr drove his car into a crowd of people who were protesting the Unite The Right rally in Charlottesville (and killed Heather Heyer in the process) declared:

I think there is blame on both sides. You look at, you look at, both sides. I think there’s blame on both sides, and I have no doubt about it…you had people who were very fine people on both sides.

“Very fine people on both sides.” Hmm . . . That shows us the man is capable of fairness and even-handedness. And how he was persecuted for it . . . by atheist transgender liberal Democrats—who live in places like New York and San Francisco, of course. The calls for his impeachment, which began practically the day he was elected, only grew louder because, you know, they just don’t understand how much he’s done for them.

Well, waddayano: A vacancy has just opened up — and Mr. Trump is just the one to fill it. The Right Reverend Monsignor Owen Keenan, late of the Merciful Redeemer Parish of Mississauga. (Is that Canada’s spelling bee equivalent of Mississippi?) Ontario has just tendered his resignation to Cardinal Thomas Collins, Archbishop of Toronto. Father Keenan will be a tough act to follow, especially given the circumstances that led to his resignation.

Recently, 215 bodies were unearthed at the Kamloops residential school run by the Catholic Church in British Columbia. Canadians, being liberal socialists who speak French, folks who try to right wrongs past or present, were outraged. In a survey that followed, two-thirds of respondents said churches that ran residential schools should bear responsibility for the abuses that happened in them. One couldn’t blame them for expecting Father Keenan, who claims reverence for the man (whether or not he ever existed) who delivered the Sermon on the Mount, to address their shock and grief. That he did, with this tidbit:

I presume that the same number would thank the church for the good that was done in those schools. But, of course, that question was never asked. And, in fact, we’re not allowed even to say that good was done in those schools. I await to see what comes to my inbox.

Now tell me, who can possibly follow up someone who says “good was done” in schools where native children were isolated from their families and cultures, and stripped of their customs, language and spiritual beliefs? Of course: someone who realizes there was “blame” and “very fine people” “on both sides.” Such a man no doubt understands that there is the “flip side” to every story: the technological innovations of Nazi Germany, the Mafia’s eradication from Havana under Castro, and the sudden drop in crime rates 20 years after Roe v Wade. Oh, wait, he can’t mention that last one in a Catholic parish, can he? But at least we can rest assured that good will be done under his leadership, whether or not we acknowledge it.

That is, as long as he stays out of jail.


Bruce Gerencser, 65, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 44 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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  1. Avatar

    Excellent post, MJ. You’ve said it eloquently. It seems that too many so-called Christian leaders are hypocrites with seared consciences. And I do believe those type of people were condemned in the Bible. Ah well, Father Keenan probably doesn’t read that part of the Bible.

    • Avatar
      Karuna Gal

      BJW – As an old Catholic girl I can tell you that no Catholics, priestly or otherwise, read ANY part of the Bible at all. 😄 I think MJ would agree with me.

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        I went to a Catholic school even though my family is Protestant. During one of the student retreats, one priest mentioned the Levite from the parable of the Good Samaritan. He quickly remarked afterwards that the Protestant students, but not the Catholic ones, would probably know what a Levite is.

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        I am very much an ex-Catholic (left more than 30 years ago, aged 21), and will never go back (so much hypocrisy, so much amassing of wealth often to the detriment of the poor, entrenched misogyny, entrenched homophobia, child abuse, cover-ups, the cosying up to several fascist dictators, etc etc etc). But you are wrong to say Catholics don’t read the Bible.

        Every Mass i ever attended (I was born in 1966, in England) included an Old Testament reading, a Gospel reading and a reading from the New Testament. Some Catholics read the Bible at home, maybe some of the really old and/or VERY traditional ones don’t. I will say I’ve never known a Catholic given over to quoting large chunks of the Bible to anyone present or in writing, but that’s not the same as not reading it.

        Like I said, there’s loads to object to in the strongest possible terms. . . but let’s get facts right when we can. The whole appalling mess at Kamloops is very much the fault of the CC (there was a similar and well-publicized case in Ireland a few years ago, in Tuam in County Galway) and Fr Keenan is definitely being evasive and disingenuous (how predictable) but I doubt very much that he never reads the Bible.

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      Canada’s record with it’s original inhabitants has been dreadful from day one. In general the French were a smidge less nasty than the English, but overall both were bent on genocide. Even if it was simply cultural. That, in itself was terrible enough, even today First Nations people are discriminated against and ill treated across Canada.

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      MJ Lisbeth

      Karuna—When I was growing up, Catholics were discouraged from reading the Bible. I suspect that’s still the case, and the priests don’t read the Book much.

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        Karuna Gal

        I read the Bible (just the New Testament) on my own as a young adult. The Bible was never required reading at any stage of my Catholic education. And were there any Catholic Bible study groups? Pshaw. Just pray to Mary and do the rosary! 😄

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          Club, I think there is a wide variance of Bible reading encouragement there. My former denomination (SDA) encouraged it constantly. More mainstream churches that I attended seemed to incorporate scripture a lot into their services as readings. But yeah, people are lazy or rather, too busy. I tried to read the Bible every day for about a decade. But I’m the type that was always striving to do right. Funny how that ended up being mostly performative: Bible reading, church attendance, one or 2 do good activities, adherence to meaningless rules (no jewelry), yet blind to the needs of non-church members living next door. Pretty sad.

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            Yes, there is a lot of variation of encouragement, and many Christians still haven’t read their entire bible. That includes my parents. I bought them a nice large print one since they were always asking me questions about it. And they still haven’t read it. 😀

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    Yulya Sevelova

    Great post, MJ. When I read ” Father” Keenan’s doltish claims a few days ago, I wondered if someone, somewhere would clock him. That may yet happen. In the meantime, a couple of Catholic churches were incinerated. Like out in San Gabriel Mission, where the roof and wooden doors burned. I went over there to see this for myself. This is the mission where 6,000 local Native people were buried under the floors !! All throughout the grounds, not even a cemetery setting. Walking the grounds, you walk on buried people under the pavement. I never heard of such a thing !! But those who run the gift shop and maintain the place are nonchalant about this. The wrongness of this situation never occurred to them.

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Bruce Gerencser