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Does God Love Us Unconditionally?

unconditional love

Ask an Evangelical Christian if God loves humans unconditionally and he or she will likely respond with a resounding YES! God loves us no matter what we do, they will say. An Evangelical  familiar with the Bible might even quote Romans 8:38,39:

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Do these verses apply to non-Christians? After all, when non-Christians die they go to Hell. So, this means they are separated from the love of God, right? Uh, well . . . the Bible says God is love! Okay, where does it say that God’s love is unconditional?

The word “unconditional” means without any conditions, not contingent, not determined or influenced by someone or something else. I know that Evangelicals desperately want God’s love to be unconditional, but any cursory reading of the Bible shows that God’s love is ALWAYS conditional.

Consider salvation for a moment. Are there any conditions that must be fulfilled before God will save a person? Or does a person go to bed one night unsaved and wake up the next morning saved? Of course not. In order for unbelievers to be saved, they must repent, believe, and follow. These are the conditions that must be fulfilled in order for a person to be considered a Christian.

Both Calvinism and Arminianism teach that God’s love is conditional. For the Calvinist, God’s love for a person is predicated on unconditional election and predestination. For the Arminian, God’s love for a person is predicated on prevenient grace. If God unconditionally loves everyone then he would save everyone. But, he doesn’t save everyone because he has already determined who he is going to save. But Bruce, the only reason people are not saved is that they choose not to be. Okay, so then them CHOOSING is the condition for God saving them, right? Well, uh . . . can’t get away from it . . . God is not the God of unconditional love.

When God created Adam and Eve, he told them that his love, favor, and blessing were contingent on one condition: don’t eat fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Of course, we all know how that worked out.

From the time Adam and Eve sinned until Jesus died on the cross, God required a blood sacrifice in order to expiate the sins of humans, both individually and corporately. Forgiveness was contingent on the blood sacrifice. No sacrifice, no forgiveness. Even now, the forgiveness of sin is contingent on the blood atonement of Jesus on the cross (and sects argue endlessly about whose sins and what sins were expiated on the cross). Again, it is clear that salvation and the forgiveness of sin are conditional.

When I am talking to Evangelicals about the unconditional love of God, I ask them: give me one illustration from the Bible where God’s love is shown to be unconditional? If they think about this for a moment they likely will argue that God’s love is different from human love, so it is impossible for us to understand it. According to many Evangelicals, God is capable of perfectly loving and hating a person at the same time. This is a nice theory for which there is no Biblical foundation.

Genesis 6-8 states that God caused a flood to engulf the earth, killing every human and every animal that was not on the Ark with Noah and his family. Millions of people died. Men, women, children, and babies still in the womb, died because God drowned them. Was God’s love unconditional for those who drowned?

According to Genesis 6:3, God gave humans 120 years to repent. The New Testament tells us that Noah was a preacher of righteousness. Noah was God’s warning siren to the inhabitants of the earth. Their survival depended on them repenting of their evil ways. Granted, things were bad, according to the Bible; the sons of God, which many Evangelicals believe were fallen angels, were marrying human women and having sex with them. This sexual union produced what the King James Version calls giants, mighty men, men of renown.

The conditions on earth were so bad that God:

…saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. (Genesis 6:7)

Humans had become so evil that God regretted creating them. He decided to kill everyone except Noah and seven members of his family. Simply put, God hit the reset button and started over.

When Evangelicals preach at me about the unconditional love of God, I always ask them to explain the unconditional love of God to me from Genesis 6-8. Usually, they will quickly say that God killed everyone because of their sin. So, God’s love was conditioned on them repenting, so his love wasn’t unconditional, right? Besides, God killed innocent children and unborn babies in the flood. God loved them so much that he killed them? Perhaps God thought they would be better off dead (an argument used by more than a few deranged psychopathic parents)?

It is clear from Genesis 6-8 that God’s love was NOT unconditional, and no matter where people read in the Bible, they are going to find that God’s love is conditional. If the Bible is anything, it is the written record of God’s wrath, vengeance, and hate towards those who do not accept and act on the conditions he gives them. The gospel message of the Bible is this, Do THIS and thou shalt live. Either we do things God’s way or he makes us pay.

Imagine a person saying, I love my wife, kids, neighbor, friend, et al. Yet, this person afflicts, starves, brutally punishes, and kills those he says he loves. Would we not rightly say that this person knows nothing about love? Yet, when the Unconditional Love God® does these things, he is given a pass. God is right in all he does because God is right. As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 9, many Evangelicals say, How dare you question what God does! He loves because he says he loves! End of discussion.

Shouldn’t we expect God to at least measure up to human standards? A person who afflicts, starves, brutally punishes, and kills people knows nothing about love. He is likely a sociopath. He is not a person any of us would want to have anything to do with. Yet, when God acts this way, the Evangelical choir begins to sing, What a Mighty God we Serve, followed by, Our God is an Awesome God.

The truth is this: many Christians are far more loving than the God they profess to worship. We all should be very glad that many Christians are more God-like than God himself. Imagine what the world would look like if Christians loved what God loved and hated what God hated. (Read the Bible for the list of people and behaviors God hates.)

I realize that most Evangelical readers and many non-Evangelical Christian readers will reject what I have written here. They are convinced that God is love, every time, all the time, and he can be nothing but love. They even carry it a step further when they naïvely say, not only does God love unconditionally but we are to love everyone unconditionally too.

While it is hard to “prove” that an invisible God does not love unconditionally, it is quite easy to prove that NO human loves unconditionally. At best, unconditional love is a grand ideal, but back here in the real flesh and blood world, human love always has conditions.

I am sure someone will say, I love my wife and my children unconditionally.  This person’s thinking is well-intentioned, but it is based on sentimentality and not fact. Suppose for a moment this person went to work, came home early from work, and found his wife in bed with the neighbor. Would his love still be unconditional? Perhaps, he forgives his wife for her indiscretion, but what if she continues to sleep with the neighbor and even starts sleeping with numerous men. Would his love still be unconditional?

Parents like to say that they love their children unconditionally.  Suppose for a moment a father went to work, and when he came home, he found his wife and four of his five children murdered. He soon finds out that his teenage son killed his wife and children. Would his love still be unconditional?

But Bruce, these are extreme examples. Yes, and shouldn’t unconditional love work no matter the circumstance? Remember:

The word unconditional means without any conditions, not contingent, not determined or influenced by someone or something else.

It is important for us to love others, and we all can and should broaden the limits of our love. But, as with the God of the Bible, our love does have limits, and this is why I must conclude that the notion of unconditional love is a myth. It is a belief rooted in human sentimentality. Perhaps it is a worthy goal, but all I know is that everywhere I look, be it the Bible, the actions of my fellow humans, or my own actions, all I see is conditional love.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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  1. Avatar

    my feeling has always been that “god” — if it can be said that “god” exists to begin with — both loves us unconditionally, and doesn’t love us at all, ever… or, to put it more simply, “god” doesn’t care what you do or don’t do… it’s a little difficult for “christians” to wrap their minds around, but it works perfectly well for me. 😉

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    Gotta love the ol’ “God’s love is different and so much higher than our love that we can never understand it.” Sounds to me like a good defense for child abusers.

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    I’ve come to believe God’s love to be extortion. Love me or burn. Does anyone really have any choice then? How can it then be considered unconditional?

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    Deborah Hypolite

    God’s love is unconditional, because it is an inane part of His character. It is who He is. Now, salvation is conditional and is based upon our willingness to freely choose to believe in His Son and accept him as Savior and Lord. (Remember, there is only 1 God. Deut. 6:4; If you freely choose to reject His Son, you’ve chosen to reject the Father as well, but His love remains constant) Ex. I love my daughters unconditionally, even when they are rude, nasty, disrespectful, selfish, arrogant, and determined to have their way, BUT… they can not stay in our home with that unacceptable behavior. When they were younger, there was discipline and correction to get them to come under our authority as parents. When they got too grown to accept us and our rules, they had to leave. Our love didn’t change, but they had to “choose” whether to accept our rules, or choose to do their own thing. God gives us that same freedom, and I appreciate and love the very idea I can freely choose this day, life or death, blessing or cursing: THEREFORE, I choose life. Deuteronomy 30:19. Because God is God, He gets to make the rules. If you start a business, you get to make the rules. For those who choose not to adhere, you as the business owner can choose whether to keep or fire the employee. I’ve made the choice to humble myself and walk with the Lord, because “my arms are truly too short to box with God.”
    Blessings to you all!

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      Deborah, I reject this “salvation” nonsense unconditionally. It is an act of cowardice to allow someone else to die in your place, even if that “someone else” is secretly his own psychopathic father who likes to sit on the Great White Throne and listen to people scream in agony.

      I, too, choose life. A real one, though, not contaminated by second-hand mythology passed from one generation to another through brainwashing and fear.

      But I am ROFLMAO at your delightful misspelling “…it is an inane part of His character.” It’s inane, all right — calling the love of a torturer-god “unconditional” is unvarnished nonsense.

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      John Arthur

      This bloodthirsty savage that you call god commanded the murder of little children and babies in warfare (1 Samuel ch.15). This barbaric savage that you call god allegedly torture people in some mythical “Lake of Fire” forever and ever. What for? For finite “sins”, committed in finite time, by finite people. This brute is so unjust and you worship “him” thinking that his love is unconditional. Give me a break from all this bullsh!t that you spout.

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      Deborah, in your case, you didn’t create or hold any direct power over your daughters’ hearts and minds, whilst God does.

      Take the case of Judas. Most Christians would agree that the crucifixion was pre-ordained by God (Acts 2:23). Jesus himself agrees that the Son of Man has to be delivered into the hands of sinners, but woe is him whose hands do the deed – it would have been better for him had he not been born. Yet he was born out of the eternal will of God, a necessary “casualty” to God’s plan. Is God’s love unconditional towards Judas then?
      No, don’t say that he was possessed by Satan when God was perfectly able to make Satan his pawn to tempt David to do the census. Which resulted in the death of many people (but not David – one must wonder if God really does not play favourite).

      A Christian pastor I know once admitted that, if it were humans doing these things, it would be classified as manipulation. But since He is God, He’s free to do as He likes. But isn’t that tyranny?
      If that’s the case, won’t the injunction that one should be “merciful as your Father in heaven is merciful” or “holy as your Father in heaven is holy” be utterly meaningless? After all, God’s characters are supposed to be totally foreign and non-communicable to us humans.

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    Karen the rock whisperer

    Bruce has quoted Richard Dawkins’ famous assessment of the God of the Bible elsewhere, so I won’t bother…but Dawkins is right. I much prefer the Marcus Aurelius pseudo-quote (Aurelius was a pagan Roman emperor and a Stoic; I’ve read that the following quote is actually a summary of his writings on the subject):

    “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

    A very cursory reading of the Bible shows that its God is not a just deity at all. Sensible modern people utterly revile historical leaders who’ve done a fraction of the unjust things that the Bible claims God has done.

    I don’t know any good scientific evidence for the existence of any deity, but I am profoundly aware of how human minds can experience things that aren’t real. That’s our gift, actually; the great things we’ve done as a species, and even the minor day-to-day accomplishments of all of us, require imagination and intuition. But our imaginations can easily lead us astray, and convince us that a loving deity that watches over us is real.

    But, the Christian demands, what if I die and come face-to-face with God? They claim I will bow my knee and proclaim his greatness before I tumble into the lake of fire. Nope. I will flip the finger at him as I tumble. Presumably a creator of the universe knows enough to realize that he is absolute scum, and doesn’t care. I’ll go hang with Marcus Aurelius.

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      Karen, what a great (pseudo-)quote from Marcus Aurelius. Thank you. I saw it a few times on the internet and it seems to resonate with a lot of people, including me.
      In my case, if I end up in the Christian hell (whichever version it is), at least I will be re-united with generations upon generations of my ancestors, all of whom, until very recently, were all non-Christian pagans.

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    I wonder where certain Christian sects got the idea that God lives us unconditionally. I don’t think Jewish people ever thought that of God, and he is their deity. And any rational person reading the Bible can’t come to that conclusion without a lot of mental contortions and asterisks. Even my fundamentalist leaning nearly evangelical Catholic father-in-law who graduated from Catholic seminary (he thought he wanted to be a priest but liked the ladies too much to endure a life of celibacy) quipped that God was the real villain in the tale of Job.

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Bruce Gerencser