The Apostle Paul said in Romans 14:
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way. I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died. Let not then your good be evil spoken of: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
Paul also says in 1 Corinthians 8:
Now as touching things offered unto idols.
….
As concerning therefore the eating of those things that are offered in sacrifice unto idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is none other God but one. Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge: for some with conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled. But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse. But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak. For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol’s temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols; And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ. Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.
Before I talk about how Evangelical preachers use these verses to manipulate and control church members, I want to share what these verses actually mean — in context.
Paul was addressing an issue that cropped up in early Christian congregations. Church members were eating meat that had been previously offered up to pagan idols. Paul told them there was nothing inherently wrong with eating a T-bone steak previously offered up to one of the many pagan deities worshipped at that time. Mature believers knew meat was meat regardless of its provenance.
Immature believers, however, believed eating meat offered up to idols was sinful. Mature Christians eating this meat were causing them to stumble in their faith. Paul told mature believers to not eat meat offered to idols if it caused their brothers and sisters in the Lord to be offended and stumble in their walk with God.
Fast forward to 2023. A stumbling block is any behavior that causes other Christians to think poorly of you or presents a bad testimony to fellow Christians or the “world.” Evangelical preachers use “stumbling blocks” as a way to control church members’ behavior. Church rules (standards) are rigidly enforced. Congregants are reminded that participating in forbidden behaviors could cause “weak” brothers and sisters in the Lord to stumble, leading them to sin. Thus, they must refrain from certain behaviors lest weaker, immature believers (or the world, in some instances) stumble and sin.
I could give numerous examples of how the “stumbling block” theology plays out in real life, but for the sake of time, let me give readers four.
Suppose you and your family want to go to the movie theater and watch a G-rated movie. You plan to go to a multiplex that shows nine movies at a time, including R and NC-17 movies. If an immature Christian drove by the theater and saw you going into or leaving the facility, he might question whether you were watching an R or NC-17 movie. This could cause him to stumble in his walk with the Lord, so you shouldn’t go to movie theaters.
Imagine going to the local grocery store to buy beer. As you are strolling to the checkout with beer in your cart, you come upon an immature Christian who thinks drinking alcohol is a sin. Not wanting to offend such people, you should never buy beer at the grocery store.
I had a preacher friend who refused to eat at any restaurant that served alcohol. He believed that if other Christians saw him eating at a place that served alcohol, they might think he was drinking booze. Not wanting to cause his fellow Christians to stumble, he decided not to eat at any restaurant that served alcohol. My friend loved steak. Most steak houses serve alcohol. As a result, he was consigned to steak hell. He couldn’t eat at Texas Roadhouse, so his idea of a “good” steak was the packer-grade meat served by Bonanza or Ponderosa (pound-a-grossa). My friend refrained from all sorts of normal human behaviors, all because he didn’t want to offend other Christians.
Women, in particular, are subject to the “stumbling block” rule. Evangelical men are hapless, helpless horndogs who are unable to control their sexuality. Women are considered gatekeepers, tasked with keeping horny preachers, deacons, and other men from stumbling. They are reminded that they must cover up their bodies: no cleavage, no tight clothing, no short skirts, no pants that accentuate the female form. If they fail to do so, men will stumble over their dicks and try to ravage them in the pews. Thus, Sunday after Sunday, Evangelical women cover up their bodies so the minds of weak, immature men won’t be tempted to lust.
Polly and I followed the “stumbling block” rule for years. We didn’t do certain things because doing so might offend other Christians or make us look bad. Perception mattered to us. I remember when we got food stamps for the first time. We would drive to Columbus, Ohio, an hour away, so no one would see us. We took this approach to other things we didn’t think were sins. Out of sight, out of mind, we thought at the time.
The 1990s were the early days of DOS video games; games such as Commander Keen, Jazz Jackrabbit, Lost Vikings, Cosmos, and Duke-Nukem, to name a few. I am not a good game player, but I enjoyed playing the games mentioned above. Some games I wouldn’t play. Why? I was afraid that if church members saw me playing them they would think poorly of me. I didn’t want to ruin my testimony. I applied the same thinking to music. I would have loved to listen to classic rock music, but I refrained from doing so lest I caused another Christian to stumble.
Eventually, we came to the conclusion that some Christians can stumble over anything; that no matter what we did, there would always be someone offended by our behavior. This freed us to buy alcohol, attend movies, and eat at restaurants that served the Devil’s Brew. We used to not frequent grocery stores that sold alcohol or gas stations that sold pornographic magazines (yes, they actually sold them years ago). Once free of the bondage of the “stumbling block” rule, we were free to shop where we wanted and enjoy various entertainments that were previously off limits to us.
Did you attend a church that emphasized the “stumbling block” rule? Please share your experiences in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Context, meat to idols
Some people will trip over everything
Give examples, beards
I lived in a family that emphasized the “stumbling block” rule, although it wasn’t called that. I was trained from a young age to be hyper aware of anything that may cause someone to question my Christian walk and therefor negatively judge my preacher father as a man who could not even guide his own household. It was very clear that my actions could hurt his image and cause immense damage to his calling as a minister.
It didn’t help that I saw, on a regular basis, how petty and reactionary church members could be. So that added even more pressure.
This created a huge, gigantic, problem for me because I did not fit the gender binary and the feelings I had – and people I liked – did not always fit the Christian definition of acceptable.
So, I learned young that I was an abomination, and became quite skilled at hiding it, then denying it, then learning how to behave properly as my gender demanded. Of course this evil part of me caused my father a lot of strain and concern. I remember many hands on the shoulder, pain filled prayers as my father asked god to make me right. This added even more pressure and grief for a young kid who could only see themselves as weak and evil.
I am still an abomination, but have escaped the guilt and self hate, which means I can proudly be an abomination to those who are hateful.🌈🌈😈
@Sage, it REALY REALY SUCKS that you went through all that. High demand high control religions cause so much harm to people.
The fundamentalist Christian school I attended was BIG on the stumbling block issue. Teachers had to sign in a contract that they wouldn’t attend movie theaters – yet most of the young teachers found common ground with students by discussing movies which teachers rented from video stores which were a thing back then. I am surprised the administration didn’t add “no soliciting video stores” in the contracts. When I was in middle school all the students were threatened with suspension for attending the local roller skating rink – that really pissed off a lot of students. The reasoning was that there had been a news report that some people were arrested with drugs at the rink. Also, the rink played rock music which was forbidden – students weren’t allowed to play rock music radio stations in their cars on school property. A lot of the school rules reached beyond school property behavior to the rest of one’s life. One year 3 high school students were EXPELLED for attending a party where there was alcohol – on a weekend, not on school property. Another student heard these boys talking about the party and turned them in to administration. Can you imagine that? Additionally, 2 girls were expelled for getting pregnant. The school viewed ALL behavior as being within its purview, not just behavior on school property. Why? Because they had a “Christ-like” image they wanted everyone to uphold everywhere. Stumbling block, witness, testimony – those were all words we heard a lot in reference to our behavior. We were always under a microscope or in the spotlight.
How this brings me back. Not only did I have to be constantly vigilant not to offend the big guy in the sky but I also had to worry that the most non offensive behaviors might cause others to stumble. Fear and guilt were my constant companions for many years.
I can’t think of a specific “stumbling block” experience right now, but my church, as well as many of my close friends (and I) were vigilant in encouraging each other about the need to be cautious. None of us wanted to be held accountable by the others (and more importantly, by God) for causing anyone else to stumble.
But, here’s the dilemma: What if you have two (sort of) binary courses of action — one of the two actions you must avoid. Example: You refuse to go to restaurants that serve alcohol, no matter how much you like a good steak, so as to prevent someone from stumbling around alcohol. But, by getting your meat fix at the grocery store, you then have to worry about running into that vegetarian brother or sister in the Lord at the checkout.
For me, such choices caused me a lot of heartache and fear, worrying that God would be disappointed in me for not being more careful. At times, this caused me to feel like my choices would always have the potential of being the wrong choices. I had placed myself into a self-imposed “stumbling block” prison. It was “piss or get off the pot” crazy-making.
One final thing. Reflecting back, I always felt my fellow churchmates were ALWAYS MORE CARELESS than myself, when it came to being judged as the stumbling block. Funny how that goes.
Raised Catholic, conservative Catholic mother, liberal Catholic schools. We didn’t have Stumbling Block issues, but my mother was hugely fixated on What Will They Think Of Us. She policed every public behavior fiercely. Modest clothing, limited acceptable colors, where I was going and who I might run into, far beyond proper parental investment. Continued into my adulthood.
In the 1980s, I traveled extensively on business, helping install military aircraft flight simulators in whatever corners of Hell the US military plants their bases. We traveling engineers tended to work very long days and grab meals together on these trips, and I was usually the only woman. When I described my first such trip to my mother, she was appalled that I would eat out in public with a man who is not my husband.
Another time, Husband and I were visiting my parents on a Sunday afternoon, and my mother grumbled that she needed clean underwear and couldn’t do laundry until the next day. I offered to do it for her–we were just sitting around–and she explained that she wanted to dry it on the clothesline, but that would offend some of her Christian neighbors (the part about doing laundry on a Sunday).
She didn’t appreciate that my reaction to these conversations was “How the hell is it their business?” because she could never give a coherent answer to that question.
The way christians worship Trump and spread conspiracy theories is a huge stumbling block to me, yet they do it anyway.
Many years ago, I bought a case of Bud Light at the grocery. A member of the church I attended at that time saw me. He frowned at me. I felt ashamed, but bought the beer anyways.