How to Prove a Woman’s Virginity, According to God

hymen worship

Evangelicals are what I call hymen worshippers; people who are inordinately obsessed with female genitalia. An intact hymen is viewed as a sure sign of virginity. Evangelicals come by the belief honestly. The Bible has a lot to say about intact hymens and the importance of virginity (for women). In fact, intact hymens are so important to God, the voyeur of the universe, that he demands the death of any woman who has sex before marriage or fails to produce proof of her virginity.

How could a woman possibly prove she was a virgin? God devised a virginity test. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 says:

Suppose a man marries a woman but after going in to her dislikes her  and makes up charges against her, slandering her by saying, ‘I married this woman, but when I lay with her, I did not find evidence of her virginity.’ The father of the young woman and her mother shall then submit the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate.  The father of the young woman shall say to the elders: ‘I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her,  and now he has made up charges against her, saying, “I did not find evidence of your daughter’s virginity.” But here is the evidence of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they shall spread out the cloth before the elders of the town.  The elders of that town shall take the man and punish him;  they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver (which they shall give to the young woman’s father) because he has slandered a virgin of Israel. She shall remain his wife; he shall not be permitted to divorce her as long as he lives. “If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman’s virginity was not found,  then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house, and the men of her town shall stone her to death, because she committed a disgraceful act in Israel by prostituting herself in her father’s house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.

Newlyweds were to put a white sheet underneath them as they had sex for the first time. If the bride is a virgin, the thinking went, when her husband sexually penetrates her for the first time, breaking the hymen, she will bleed on the sheet. The bloody sheet is proof that she was not blemished before her wedding day. No blood? God commands, “Then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house, and the men of her town shall stone her to death.”

Surely if God exists, he knows that four out of ten women don’t bleed when they have penetrative vaginal sex for the first time. Further, “broken’ hymens can and do heal. It seems to me that the virginity test reflects the medical knowledge and understanding of the time, but if GOD wrote the Bible as Evangelicals allege, surely he should have known that this was an inaccurate way of proving virginity; one that leads to the death of innocent women.

It’s 2026. Here’s what we know:

The biggest myth about the hymen is that it breaks when a woman first has intercourse, and that this results in bleeding that makes it clear whether she was a virgin. In the past, some cultures have made an issue or even a ritual of examining or displaying bloody sheets from a wedding bed to show that the young woman was a virgin. Of course the husband wasn’t expected to be a virgin or to prove his sexual purity. 

In reality, many women do not experience tearing or bleeding of the hymen the first time they have sex. That’s because the hymen is stretchy, like the scrunchie.

One harmful result of this myth is that it makes some women worry about pain and bleeding the first time they have sex, which can make it harder to get turned on. When a woman is aroused, the muscles near the opening of the vagina can be relaxed, and the vagina creates natural lubrication so that sex is more comfortable—even if it’s the first time. Worrying about pain can lead to tightening of the muscles and less lubrication, which can lead to pain or bleeding. (The Bedsider, Five Myths About Virginity, Busted.)

Wikipedia adds:

The hymen can rip or tear during first penetrative intercourse, which usually results in pain and, sometimes, mild temporary bleeding or spotting. Minor injuries to the hymen may heal on their own, and not require surgical intervention. Historically, it was assumed that first penetration was necessarily traumatic, but now sources differ on how common tearing or bleeding are as a result of first intercourse. Therefore, the state of the hymen is not a reliable indicator of virginity, though “virginity testing” remains a common practice in some cultures, sometimes accompanied by hymen reconstruction surgery to give the appearance of virginity. International health organizations condemn virginity testing as harmful.

There is no way to infallibly know whether a woman is a virgin. By age 20, most young adults (75%) have sex before marriage. By age 30, that percentage rises to 90%. Christians have been preaching about premarital sex and the importance of virginity for 2,000 years, yet the overwhelming majority of congregants have had sex before marriage — including preachers. If modern churches practiced Deuteronomy 22, most of their young adults would have been executed by the age of 30.

It is clear that having penetrative sexual intercourse is a normal part of the human experience. Driven by evolution, the prime objective is sex is procreation. Now that we know a lot more about where babies come from and have access to a variety of forms of birth control, including abortion, virgins and non-virgins alike are free to have sex without fear of pregnancy.

My wife and I were virgins on our wedding night, yet Polly did not bleed when we had sex the first time. OMG! We failed the bloody sheet test. Under God’s law, I could have had Polly stoned to death, even though she was a virgin. All of us today — except the likes of Dr. David Tee, Revival Fires, and other Bible thumpers — would rightly consider such a penalty not only scientifically ignorant, but unjust.

Were you a virgin on your wedding day? For the women reading this post, did you bleed the first time you had sex? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section. For Evangelicals inclined to vehemently object, I ask you to defend the virginity test in Deuteronomy 22. Further, I would like you to explain why we should even listen to God. Who cares what God’s word says? What moral authority does the Bible have? Bonus question for Evangelicals” Were you a virgin on your wedding night? Don’t lie.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Comments

12 responses to “How to Prove a Woman’s Virginity, According to God”

  1. Avatar
    Matthew

    It seems the “Architect of the Universe” could have used a basic biology peer-review before releasing the Deuteronomy 22 update.

    If we are to believe the Evangelical claim that God authored this “Source Code,” we’re faced with a massive technical absurdity: a Creator who can supposedly engineer the complex folding of proteins and the orbit of galaxies, yet somehow failed to understand the basic tensile strength and elasticity of a simple membrane.

    In any other field, if a system administrator executed 40% of their users because of a faulty sensor reading, we wouldn’t call them “Holy”—we’d call them incompetent. It’s a “Dev Error” of the highest order: issuing a death penalty based on a biological false positive.

    The “Virginity Test” isn’t divine law; it’s a poorly written script by Bronze Age men who lacked the technical documentation to understand the women they lived with. They mistook a “flexible feature” for a “tamper-evident seal.”

  2. Avatar

    A lot of us lost our virginity to tampons.

    1. Avatar
      lilarebecca

      yeah. I lost mine in ballet class.

    2. Avatar

      Thank you for pointing this out. When I was researching this post, I read an article mentioning the tampon issue. I was unaware this could happen. Never too old to learn something new.❤️❤️

      1. Avatar
        Zoe

        I can share more information. Like all human development, our parts vary from one person to another. A small percentage of women may be born without a hymen or one that is barely there as the tissue is so little. Others may have more tissue. It’s part of our fetal development and some speculate it may have been there to prevent passage of bacteria into the vagina. Technically, it has nothing to do with sex or virginity. You can insert a tampon and not break it at all, as it is flexible.

        I never thought I’d be on this blog talking hymens . . . but, here I am. 🙂

  3. Avatar
    lilarebecca

    These passages of Scripture are so upsetting to read. And the teachings on sex and marriage. I grew up with alot of trauma and abuse and so was very afraid of intimacy when I was younger. I was not emotionally whole and relationships were strained and stressful. Its upsetting to hear of women being pushed into a marriage when they are young, and having to have sex with a man they don’t know, and how painful that must be. And then, you can never leave. You are stuck. Its like, this is the price you pay if you want to be loved.

  4. Avatar
    Revival “the cherrypopper” Fires

    This is Revival Fires, the cherry popper.

    Rest of disgusting comment deleted. I’ll leave it to readers to figure out what this lover of Jesus had to say.

  5. Avatar

    I’m pretty sure ancient Jews wouldn’t have approved of my using tampons since the age of 15. I remember asking my doctor about having a hymen, and she said don’t worry about it.

  6. Avatar
    Brocken

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/n82v1a/deuteronomy_22_verse_28/ This goes to the whole sex before marriage bit. The case I am about to relate involved a marriage that took place in 1938. At that time period there was a law in Illinois that required a blood test and waiting period before the state would issue a marriage license. That led to couples going out of state to get married. A premarital pregnancy would also lead people to dodge the new restrictions. When one couple from Illinois got married in Missouri, the local justice of the peace must have been shocked at the age disparity of the bride and groom. The blushing bride was 24 and her soon to be husband was 45. The couple were also soon to be parents. They were married in August of 1938 and their first and only child was born in March of 1939. The marriage lasted until the husband’s death in 1957. I don’t know if the man had been married before, but his obituary just listed the one marriage.

  7. Troy

    Reading this reminds me of a presenter (I think it was “Connections” presenter/writer James Burke) invited you to crawl into the mind of those involved in the Salem witch trials. “The Bible says there are witches, so it must be so!”
    While some thumpers might adhere to this, the absurdity of Biblical marriage edicts isn’t lost on the rest of us.

  8. As a transgender woman and feminist, I can’t help but to think that God’s hymen hysteria (and lack of interest in male virginity) is a matter of his being, well, male. What if God had been female? Would she have been so fixated on a man’s (or boy’s) virginity? How would she have determined it?

    1. Troy

      @MJ, it really is more biology than God. Males of many species have an inborn desire to make sure they sired their pups. These concerns make it part of the law, and then later the law is dictated by God himself. If human males slaughtered all of a new mate’s offspring like lion males do (to stop the female from nursing and subsequently bring her back into heat), no doubt that would be endorsed by the Bible as well. I guess we should be glad that humans have menstruation rather than estrus!

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