I’m Starting a New Religion and I Need Your Help

starting a new religion

Here in the sunset years of my life, I have decided to embark on a world-changing endeavor; one that could transform our planet. I am starting a new, yet unnamed, religion; a religion for people who don’t like religion. Yes, sir, a religion for the billions of earthlings who have no interest in the religions cooked up by humans over the past 4,000 or so years. This new religion will be different: a human endeavor meant to make life better for all of us, even Evangelical Christians.

This project is a humorous, snarky — and slightly serious — attempt to show the world a better way. Here’s what I know so far about this earth-shattering, world-redefining religion. First, this will be a no-deity religion. Second, it will be (generally) built upon a foundation of secular humanism — the basic rules of the road for humanity. I have no doubt that some “Bruce” will creep in. I have plenty of thoughts about this project, and I am sure my beliefs will influence this project. The good news is that anyone can start their own religion. The Apostle Paul did, why can’t you? Joseph Smith did, creating Mormonism, the first American-made religion. Surely you can do the same if you don’t like the religion I’m starting. That is what is great about religion. It’s a paint-by-number painting without numbers. Paint away . . .

Here’s what I need from you: what would you like to see in a new religion? I will use data collected from readers to help shape this religion using AI. I have already performed a trial run on this project. Hilarious to say the least. Want to have some fun? Your input — serious or not — is appreciated. This is your opportunity to make a difference, or, at the very least, have some fun with likeminded people.

If you are anti-AI, please don’t. AI is a tool, and that’s how I plan to use it. If you think differently, fine, but I have spent countless hours trying to better understand artificial intelligence (AI) and how to ethically use it. I have lots of opinions on the matter, but I have no interest in having AI wars on my blog. When I one day receive the “mark of the beast,” you can tell me you were right. 🙂 Until then, spirited discussion is welcome. Anti-AI sermonizing is not.

This will be a longterm project; one which I hope to publish to its own website.

I look forward to reading your suggestions.

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Comments

16 responses to “I’m Starting a New Religion and I Need Your Help”

  1. Absolutely no ‘faith’ required or allowed in the Church of Bruce. Don’t ‘take it on faith’, demand evidence!

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      This was definitely a part of my test run, so I’m sure it will make it to the tenets of the new religion. ❤️

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    John Alder

    Every member is a high ranking member of the clergy, they choose their title and their religious wardrobe.

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      Or no one is a clergy person and we are all nudists to the degree we are comfortable. 🤣🤣

    2. Keep the sabbath holy: Sleep in!

  3. No ritual cannibalism and no guilt.

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    John S.

    All singing will be accapella/no instruments- lined-off singing. Wait, no, shape note singing. Wait, no a piano is ok. Wait, no only a large pipe organ. Wait, no it has to be upbeat with clapping hands and a rock band. Wait, we also need a cool light show too. We will need to pour through all Bruce’s posts over the years to figure it all out.

    Definitely will need a coffee shop and book store with copies of Bruce’s latest revelations and thoughts. Only $29.99 for the soft cover and $49.99 for the hard cover.

    I guess to accommodate everyone’s different taste in music and decor, etc., we will just have to divide up- there will be the First Church of Bruce..then the Old Regular Bruce-ists. Then the Church of Gerencser. Then the Assembly of Bruce..Then the Divine Original Church of Bruce Gerencser (part of the service will involve handling feral barn cats 🐈)..then of course the there will be the Independent Fundamentalist Church of Bruce- only Cincinnati Reds or Bengals hats allowed..or just call it Bruce Church with everyone welcome (until you’ve been here awhile and we find out everything about you, that is).

    Just kidding of course, Bruce 😀. In all honesty I like to think of what you do as a “ministry” of sorts. In all seriousness, you help folks who need a place to talk through their experiences with American style Christianity, and the lasting effects it has had on their lives. I think your religion would be just that kind of place, somewhere where we can all just relax with a cup of coffee, an easy chair and express our thoughts and listen to or read some feedback.

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    Jeff Bishop

    Sign me up! I am an acolyte of the “The Bruce”. As soon as I get the hard cover I will hit the road to Damascus to convert followers.

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    Revival “I Lie for Jesus” Fires

    Religion will get you to hell as fast as atheism and Anti-theism.

    Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved!

    He is SALVATION! Not “religion”

    He is the Risen Saviour! Not a dead “religious leader”.

    And it is about a RELATIONSHIP!

    Sadly millions trapped in religion and atheism are gonna learn and see this truth far too late! 😭

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      GeoffT

      Oh we all know about relationships! Ask Jeffrey Epstein. He’s probably your hero.

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    Jackie Malone

    Hi Bruce.
    Sounds like a fun exercise.
    I’ll give it some thought and send ideas ( if I have any of note).

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    matilddaa

    A friend and I, former died-in-the-wool fundy for decades thought about this. We meet for lunch, usually laughing at some crazy new thing we’ve learned of our former faith. Wetherspoons is a pub/eaterie chain here, with great food so ‘Spoons’ is our favourite place to meet. It’s added a new Chilli Sauce to the bottles of condiments you can take to your table. My friend has become addicted to it and asked where to buy it. She was told it’s made exclusively for Spoons, but after much online research found it for sale. ‘Oh Matilda,’ she texted, ‘I celebrate this great answer to our prayers by spreading it on bread for supper…so, Sister Matilda, let’s praise the lawd together, there is a god, he showed me where to buy this sauce, I call it my Jesus Juice.’ We think that needs to be incorporated in any ‘church’ she or I would consider joining.

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    Barbara Jackson

    I would like a new religion to be as humane as possible. Some xtian groups did help people, such as nuns running hospitals etc. This grew into modern medicine without which I would have never existed beyond the premature baby phase. We should understand that medical care should be a right of ALL humans, even those we do not like. We must also realize that as research keeps moving we will have new types of medicinal care which are more expensive and we must be willing to change our society to accommodate this.

    Also, we must say that economic theory will change and the religion should not be based on any economic theory. We must be HUMANE to each other and use economy and technology to benefit everyone, even those we do not wish to help now, such as the poor, disabled, and homeless. We should also be HUMANE to people who have ideas we do not like (this is true free speech). For example, I cannot stand to watch hockey or listen to spirited discussions about it. To me, it is just 2 teams playing to hit a puck, but it causes great injuries, mostly the players hit each other with sticks not the puck. However, Barbara Jackson does not have the right to stop hockey being played or stop people being fans of it.

    As John Lennon said, we should enjoy the life we have, not live so that our afterlife will be better. However, we must keep the earth in good shape for the generations after us. Let’s try to help people live a happy and fulfilled life.

  10. Donuts! Can’t have All-American religion without donuts.

    We’ll definitely music, too.

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      Karen the rock whisperer

      Donuts with really great coffee. Sacramental consumption of both. 🙂

  11. Troy

    I joined the United Church of Bacon because I wanted to use “Dr.”, I wanted religious title of “Hierophant”. I also didn’t want to join Universal Life Church, because it could be mistaken for something theistic. But the more I think about it, UCB is actually the best religion. For starters Bacon is real. With denominations for turkey bacon, vegetarian bacon, and pork bacon everyone has a place.

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