Over the past twenty years, Evangelicals have spent vast amounts of time and energy trying to divine whether I was ever a Christian or I if am still a Christian. Their conclusions typically flow from their peculiar theological beliefs. Saved? Lost? Once saved, now lost? So many opinions about the state of my soul. You would think God would make sure these zealots and apologists are on the same page.
In this post, I want to address the claims made by those who believe once a person is saved they can never lose their salvation. God saved me at the age of fifteen at Trinity Baptist Church in Findlay, Ohio, and since that day I have been a born-again Christian — even if I don’t want to be. I’m in a no-divorce-for-any-reason marriage. No matter what I do or what God does, we are forever married. Even death cannot sever our marital bond. No matter what I say or do, I am still a Christian headed for Heaven after I die. While I find such claims absurd and downright stupid, many Evangelicals think otherwise, believing I will one day return to the fold or God will kill me early and take me to the Trump Hotel in the sky as some sort of punishment for being a “bad” Christian in this life.
Evangelicals tend to point to one or more of the following “proofs” for my continued salvation.
I capitalize God, Bible, Evangelical, Satan, etc., in my writing, and this is a subconscious sign that I am still a Christian.
The capitalization of these words is the result of fifty years in the Evangelical church, not because I am currently a Christian. In the case of the word “Evangelical” I capitalize it because it is, in my writing, anyway, a proper noun used to identify certain religious sects and believers, and not a generic word.
Even in my speech, when I say “I am” or “I’m,” I am showing that I still believe in the “I AM” — the God of the Christian Bible.
This claim is so absurd that I have nothing to say in response.
Even in my swearing, I profess that God is real.
God Dammit, Jesus H. Christ, J-E-S-U-S C-H-R-I-S-T. Hell, and other base utterances are proof that I still believe in God. Really? I mean, really? A better explanation is that I couldn’t swear for most of life. Under threats of God’s judgement, I refrained from swearing, choosing to use Baptist bywords instead. These days, instead of drinking the Bud Light of swearing, I choose to drink real, high alcohol content beer. No more crap, darn, freaking, or other bywords from me.
I talk about God all the time, and this shows I still think about and believe in the Christian deity.
I hate to break it to Evangelicals, but the only time God crosses my mind is when I am writing something for this site or giving an interview. Outside of that, God doesn’t enter my thoughts. I am more focused on living one more day; sometimes one more hour. The list of what matters to me continues to be pared down to what’s important: Polly, our six adult children and their significant others, our sixteen awesome grandchildren, and the friendships I have made over the years post-Jesus. While this blog deeply matters to me, I am aware that it is secondary to my family.
I was part of the Evangelical church for fifty of my almost sixty-nine years of life. How can I not write about that which played such a prominent part of my life? The difference is, of course, is that talking about God, Jesus, Christianity, and the Bible are intellectual exercises for me. That’s it. Sorry, but I am not “enlightened” when I read and study the Bible. I only use the Bible to advance the objective of this site: helping those who have questions and doubts about Christianity or who have already deconverted.
Silly stuff, right? This is what happens when Evangelicals refuse to accept my story at face value. Desperate to explain my storyline, they cook up stupid “proofs” for my continued salvation.
Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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