This is the third installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.
Today’s bit is Christian Shoes by Patton Oswalt.
Warning, many of the comedy bits in this series will contain profanity. You have been warned.
This is the second installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.
Today’s bit is Jibbers Crabst by Matt Inman, a cartoonist and creator of The Oatmeal.
Warning! Many of the comedy bits in this series will contain profanity and/or adult humor. You have been warned.
This is the twenty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Hard to Be by David Bazan, an indie rock singer-songwriter from Seattle, Washington.
I have repeatedly asked Evangelicals to give me ONE instance where pastors or churches would be harmed if same-sex couples are allowed to marry. Just one…how hard can it be to come up with ONE instance where two people in love marrying would materially harm any Evangelical church or pastor? Evidently, quite hard and Al Mohler, president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary agrees with me. Speaking in Columbus at the national gathering of Southern Baptists, Mohler stated:
“Look, I really don’t fear – it’s really important that you and the other presidents and every Southern Baptist pastor, every Gospel pastor, preacher needs to say ‘I’m not going to perform a same-sex wedding.’ But let’s be honest: There’s not really a danger that the sheriff’s gonna show up and say, ‘You have to do this.’ So far as I know, no pastor has been sued successfully for refusing to marry someone on other grounds; that’s not the real danger.”
“The real danger is we’re going to pay an enormous social, cultural price for not doing a same-sex ceremony….We’re going to be considered to be morally deficient. Let’s admit it: We’re much more accustomed to being accused of being morally superior. They’ve said we’ve been ‘stand-offish,’ meaning better than them. Now a large part of this culture thinks we are morally deficient. And we’re going to find that’s a very different way to do ministry.”
I sense resignation in Mohler’s words, realizing that all the Evangelical bigotry and hate towards homosexuals and same-sex couples has come to naught. According to Mohler, instead of being viewed as the standard bearers of Christian morality, Evangelicals are increasingly viewed as “morally deficient.” Morally deficient? Nope, just ignorant bigots who, like slave owners of a century ago, refuse to act justly. Now that Mohler has told the faithful that there is no homo boogeyman under the bed, can we all get on with love, peace, and happiness…and equal protection under the law?
Yes, this is what it has come to in rural Ohio. *sigh*
Recently, I attended a grandchild’s sporting event and someone asked my son how our last name was pronounced and if he was related to the Gerencser who wrote in the newspaper.
Yes, he’s my Dad.
He sure is opinionated…
All of my children know that they are free to disown me. So far, when put in situations that requires establishing paternity, they have been willing to say the DNA is a match.
The inquisitor in question proceeded to ask if I was at the ballgame and my son said, Yes, he’s over there with the red hat on.
I always wondered what he looked like…
I think local Christians are shocked when they see or meet me. They expect to see
What many local Christians think Bruce Gerencser looks likeImagine their surprise when they see
What Bruce Gerencser really looks likesShocking, I know. A political liberal and an atheist that looks like Santa Claus and roots for the Cincinnati Bengals. Little do locals know that under my hat are small, growing horn buds. Just biding my time until Team Satan takes on Team Jesus at the Battle of Armageddon. Until then, what time is the baseball game on?
Rarely a week goes by when there is not a letter to the Editor from a fundamentalist Christian demanding their moral code and peculiar interpretation of the Bible be accepted by all. Even when they aren’t quoting the Bible or reminding local unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines of their impending doom, their letters reflect an addled worldview, one shaped by an ancient book they think offers them unchanging truth. If their beliefs were kept in the church house, non-Christians would care little and hope that one day they would see the light. However, their beliefs are not kept in the church house, and because of this people of science, reason, and common sense must continue to push back as Christian fundamentalists try by legal and political means to force people to live by a worldview that is better suited for the dustbin of human history.
Take a recent letter writer who vehemently opposes legalizing the use of medical marijuana in Ohio. Even though they didn’t mention one Bible verse, their letter dripped with the fundamentalist presupposition that suffering and pain are in some way noble and good for us. Numerous Bible verses would certainly lead one to conclude that suffering and pain have probative value and makes us closer to God and keeps us from clinging too closely to this life. If we buy into this kind of thinking and accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, a life after death that is free of suffering and pain awaits us.
Sounds sublime, right? But, what if there is no life after death, no divine payoff for trudging through life suffering for Jesus and enduring pain because it will make us stronger? What if the only life we have is this one? Well, that changes everything. If this life is it, and I think it is, then we should try to relieve not only our own pain and suffering, but that of others. As a committed humanist, I would never want to withhold from anyone that which would relieve or end their suffering and pain. Whether it is narcotic pain medications, medical marijuana, or physician assisted suicide, I want every human to have at their disposal the means to lessen their suffering and pain.
Any religion that values suffering and pain is one that should be roundly criticized and rejected. And if Jesus were alive today, I suspect he’d agree with me.
How many times do I need to read a book until I know its contents?
I know the Bible from cover to cover
Fifty years in the Christian church
Twenty-five years as a pastor
4,000 sermons
20,000 hours spent reading and studying the Bible
What are you going to tell me that I do not already know?
I am not an atheist because of ignorance, I am an atheist because of knowledge
You believe
I don’t
You have faith
I don’t
Call me a fool
An apostate
A false prophet
But don’t insult me by suggesting that there is something I don’t know about Christianity, God, Jesus, or the Bible, and if I just had THIS knowledge or read THIS book I would then see the light, repent, and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.
Will you “hear” what I have written here?
Of course not
I wish I could test out of this class you think I need to take
Then maybe you will stop . . .
Forget it
You will never stop
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Graphics, Memes, Quotes, and Comments I’ve spotted on Facebook or Twitter. Today’s graphic comes from Facebook. I think it accurately describes how many atheists feel about the rapture. That great day, sometime in the near future, when every Evangelical will be raptured from the earth and taken to their reserved seat in Heaven where they will gleefully watch God savagely maim and kill the majority of the human race.
Graphics, Memes, Quotes, and Comments I’ve spotted on Facebook or Twitter. Today’s quote comes from Facebook. I think it accurately describes how I want my family to act when I am no longer numbered among the living.
One Millions Moms (OMM), the outrage wing of the American Family Association, issued an action alert today condemning the Girl Scouts’ policy on transgender youth. The action alert states:
A new Girl Scouts of the USA policy states it will extend membership to boys who identify as girls…
…This means girls in the organization will be forced to recognize and accept transgenderism as a normal lifestyle. Boys in skirts, boys in make-up and boys in tents will become a part of the program. This change will put young innocent girls at risk.
Adults are willing to experiment on our kids – both the boys who are confused and the girls who will wonder why a boy in a dress is in the bathroom with them…
Here’s the Girl Scouts policy that has OMM upset:
Girl Scouts is proud to be the premiere leadership organization for girls in the country. Placement of transgender youth is handled on a case-by-case basis, with the welfare and best interests of the child and the members of the troop/group in question a top priority. That said, if the child is recognized by the family and school/community as a girl and lives culturally as a girl, then Girl Scouts is an organization that can serve her in a setting that is both emotionally and physically safe.
Simply put, if a child is recognized as a girl by their family and school and lives culturally as a girl, the Girl Scouts will allow the child to be a part of their group. OMM refuses to admit that matters of sexual orientation and sexual identity can be fluid and complex and that biologically sexuality is nuanced and complex. In their mind, God made male and female, end of story. If you are born with a penis you are a male and if you are born with a vagina you are a female. However, if you have done any reading on sexual orientation and sexual identity, you know that, thanks to science, matters orientation and identity are complex. These days, to be conversant on these issues, one must understand terms like heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual,pansexual,polysexual, androphilia, gynephila, intersex, cisgender, transsexual, transgender, etc. In the simplistic world of the OMM, God, through genetic voodoo makes humans male or female. However, God’s genetic voodoo act can result with in a child being born with the “wrong” genitals or other chromosomal aberrations. God must have been having a bad day, eh? ( Transgender, Intersex, Sexual Orientation)
As with seemingly every American culture conflict, Christian fundamentalism and literalistic interpretations of the Bible are the primary agitators. Science continues to undermine and discredit fundamentalist beliefs. Christian fundamentalists have two choices: they can grudgingly accept the findings of science or they can ignorantly and blindly wage war. Sadly, most fundamentalists choose the latter. Until the light of reason finds a way into their mind, there is no hope of reaching them. All we can do is keep them from hurting others. Like children with scissors, we need to make sure that OMM’s scissors have blunt ends so they can’t hurt themselves or others.
