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Series: Songs of Sacrilege

Songs of Sacrilege: Did Jesus Have a Baby Sister? by Dory Previn

Bruce Gerencser 7 Comments

Today, I am starting a new series, Songs of Sacrilege. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Dory Previn was an Americans 20th century  song writer and poet. Previn’s fifth album, released in 1974 on the Warner Brothers label, featured a song titled, Did Jesus Have a Baby Sister?

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Lyrics

Did jesus have a baby sister?
Was she bitter?
Was she sweet?
Did she wind up in a convent?
Did she end up on the street?
On the run?
On the stage?
Did she dance?
Did he have a sister?
A little baby sister?
Did jesus have a sister?
Did they give her a chance?

Did he have a baby sister?
Could she speak out
By and large?
Or was she told by mother mary
Ask your brother he’s in charge
He’s the chief
He’s the whipped cream
On the cake
Did he have a sister?
A little baby sister?
Did jesus have a sister?
Did they give her a break?

Her brother’s
Birth announcement
Was pretty big
Pretty big
I guess
While she got precious
Little notice
In the local press
Her mother was the virgin
When she carried him
Carried him
Therein
If the little girl came later
Then
Was she conceived in sin?
And in sorrow?
And in suffering?
And in shame?
Did jesus have a sister?
What was her name?

Did she long to be the saviour
Saving everyone
She me?
And in private to her mirror
Did she whisper
Saviourette?
Saviourwoman?
Saviourperson?
Save your breath!
Did he have a sister?
A little baby sister?
Did jesus have a sister?
Was she there at his death?

And did she cry for mary’s comfort
As she watched him
On the cross?
And was mary too despairing
Ask your brother
He’s the boss
He’s the chief
He’s the man
He’s the show
Did he have a sister?
A little baby sister?
Did jesus have a sister?
Doesn’t anyone know?

Songs of Sacrilege: Hand of the Almighty (God will F**k You Up) by John Butler

Bruce Gerencser 11 Comments

This is the second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Hand of the Almighty (God Will Fuck You Up) by Australian John Butler. Warning! This song contains numerous swear words.


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Lyrics

Oh, sinner, do not stray From the straight and narrow way For the Lord is surely watching what you do If you approach the Devils den Turn round dont enter in Lest the hand of the almighty fall on you.

Hell fuck you up (hell fuck you up) Yes, God will fuck you up If you dare to disobey his stern command. Hell fuck you up (hell fuck you up) Dont you know hell fuck you up So you better do some prayin while you can.

Long ago a man named Lot Had a wife he thought was hot But she could not stop her black and sinful ways. You know it was her own damn fault When God turned that bitch to salt. Thats the way he used to work back in those days:

He fucked em up (he fucked em up) He really fucked em up When the people went and turned their backs on him He can fuck you up (hell fuck you up) No shit hell fuck you up Just like he fucked the people up back then.

I used to have a friend named Ray Who walked that evil way He cursed and drank and broke his neighbors fence You know Ray was full aware That some sheep were over there And he knew them in the Biblical sense.

God fucked him up (he fucked him up) He went and fucked Ray up Went and paid him back for all his wicked sins. He fucked him up (he fucked him up) Fucked that boy completely up Now hes married to a Presbyterian.

HT: Susan, for sending me this song on Facebook.

Songs of Sacrilege: Jesus Loves Me (But He Can’t Stand You) by Austin Lounge Lizards

Bruce Gerencser 1 Comment

This is the third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Jesus Loves Me (But He Can’t Stand You) by The Austin Lounge Lizards from Austin, Texas. (HT: Camels with Hammers)

 Video Link

Lyrics

I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew
I just can’t abide a sinner like you
You know, God can’t either, that’s why I know it to be true
That Jesus loves me, but he can’t stand you

I’m goin’ straight to heaven, boys, when I die
‘Cause I’ve crossed every T and I’ve dotted every I
Why, my preacher tells me that I’m God’s kind of guy
That’s why Jesus loves me…..but you’re gonna fry

God loves all His children, by gum
That don’t mean He won’t incinerate some
Can’t you feel those hot flames lickin’ you?
Woo-ooo-ooo-oo

I’m raisin’ my kids in a righteous way
So don’t you be bringin’ your kids over to my house to play
Why, yours will grow up stoned, left-leaning, and gay
I know – Jesus told me on the phone today

Jesus loves me, this I know
And he told me where you’re gonna go
There’s lots of room for your kind – down below
Wo-wo-wo-o

Jesus loves me, he loves me real good
I know he does because he called me up on the phone today and told me how much he loves me
He said, “Son, I loooooove you”
He speaks English pretty well, considering it’s a second language for him
You can talk to him too, you know, I’ve got a 900-number in Tulsa that you can call him at – I do it all the time
He’ll be glad to hear from you, I talk to him every day

Jesus loves me, but he can’t stand you!

Songs of Sacrilege: God Shuffled His Feet by Crash Test Dummies

Bruce Gerencser 2 Comments

This is the fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is God Shuffled His Feet  by Crash Test Dummies, folk rock/alternative rock band from Winnipeg, Manitoba.

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Lyrics

After seven days
He was quite tired so God said:
“Let there be a day
Just for picnics, with wine and bread”
He gathered up some people he had made
Created blankets and laid back in the shade

The people sipped their wine
And what with God there, they asked him questions
Like: do you have to eat
Or get your hair cut in heaven?
And if your eye got poked out in this life
Would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

So he said:”Once there was a boy
Who woke up with blue hair
To him it was a joy
Until he ran out into the warm air
He thought of how his friends would come to see;
And would they laugh, or had he got some strange disease?

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

The people sat waiting
Out on their blankets in the garden
But God said nothing
So someone asked him: “I beg your pardon:
I’m not quite clear about what you just spoke
Was that a parable, or a very subtle joke?”

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

Songs of Sacrilege: Progressive Christmas Carols by Jon Cozart

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments

This is the fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Progressive Christmas Carols by Jon Cozart. You can follow Jon, AKA Paint, on Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook.

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Songs of Sacrilege: Dear God by CTC

Bruce Gerencser 3 Comments

This is the sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Dear God by XTC, as new wave band from Swindon, England, 1979-2006

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Lyrics

Dear God, hope you get the letter and
I pray you can make it better down here
I don’t mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving on their feet
‘Cause they don’t get enough to eat from God
I can’t believe in you

Dear God, sorry to disturb you but
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
‘Cause they can’t make opinions meet about God
I can’t believe in you

Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the Devil too!

Dear God don’t know if you noticed but
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your image
Still believing that junk is true
Well I know it ain’t, and so do you
Dear God
I can’t believe in
I don’t believe

I won’t believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You’re always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it’s the same the whole world ’round
The hurt I see helps to compound
The Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Is just somebody’s unholy hoax
And if you’re up there you’ll perceive
That my heart’s here upon my sleeve
If there’s one thing I don’t believe in

It’s you
Dear God

 

Songs of Sacrilege: The Vatican Rag by Tom Lehrer

Bruce Gerencser 9 Comments

This is the seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Vatican Rag by Tom Lehrer.

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Lyrics

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin’ the vatican rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who’s got religion’ll
Tell you if your sin’s original.
If it is, try playin’ it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in rome do like a roman,
Ave maria,
Gee it’s good to see ya,
Gettin’ ecstatic an’
Sorta dramatic an’
Doin’ the vatican rag!

Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: Merry Go ‘Round by Kacey Musgraves

Bruce Gerencser 2 Comments

This is the eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Merry Go ‘Round by Kacey Musgraves.  This is not an overtly sacrilegious song,but it does point out the disconnect between church and real life. I am a big Kacy Musgraves fan.

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Lyrics

If you ain’t got two kids by 21, you’re probably gonna die alone.
At least that’s what tradition told you.
And it don’t matter if you don’t believe, come Sunday morning
You best be there in the front row like you’re supposed to.

Same hurt in every heart.
Same trailer, different park.

Mama’s hooked on Mary Kay.
Brother’s hooked on Mary Jane
Daddy’s hooked on Mary two doors down.
Mary, Mary quite contrary.
We get bored, so, we get married
Just like dust, we settle in this town.
On this broken merry go ’round and ’round and ’round we go
Where it stops nobody knows
And it ain’t slowin’ down
This merry go ’round.

We think the first time’s good enough.
So, we hold on to high school love.
Sayin’ we won’t end up like our parents.
Tiny little boxes in a row, ain’t whatcha want, it’s whatcha know.
Just happy in the shoes you’re wearin’.
Same checks we’re always cashin’
To buy a little more distraction.

‘Cause mama’s hooked on Mary Kay.
Brother’s hooked on Mary Jane
Daddy’s hooked on Mary two doors down.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary.
We get bored, so, we get married.
Just like dust, we settle in this town.
On this broken merry go ’round and ’round and ’round we go
Where it stops nobody knows,
And it ain’t slowin’ down.
This merry go ’round.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary.
We’re so bored until we’re buried.
Just like dust, we settle in this town.
On this broken merry go ’round.
Merry go ’round.

Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack burned out on booze and pills.
And Mary had a little lamb.
Mary just don’t give a damn no more.

Songs of Sacrilege: Parasite God by Mortiis

Bruce Gerencser 2 Comments

This is the ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Parasite God by Mortiis.

Video Link

Lyrics

We are floating – Above the mountains.
Watching all the tiny people.
How they waste themselves away.
Obey themselves away.

How willingly – They lay their love.
How willingly – They sacrifice themselves,
To the Locust Master – to the one that drowned the world.

They love their Parasite God – Yet they crucify me.

How willingly – They lay their love.
How willingly – They sacrifice themselves,
to the bringer of hunger – to the one that drowned the world.

They love their Parasite God – Yet they crucify me.

I want to be your Parasite God.
So i can show you what you really are.
I want to be your Parasite God.
So i can show you what you really are.

They love their Parasite God – Yet they crucify me.

Songs of Sacrilege: Christian Woman by Type O Negative

Bruce Gerencser 2 Comments

This is the tenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please leave the name the song in the comment section or send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Christian Woman by Type O Negative.

 Video Link

Lyrics

a) Body Of Christ (Corpus Christi)
b) To Love God
c) Jesus Christ Looks Like Me

A cross upon her bedroom wall
From grace she will fall
An image burning in her mind
And between her thighs

A dying God-man full of pain
When will you cum again ?

Before him beg to serve or please
On your back or knees
There’s no forgiveness for her sins
Prefers punishment ?
Would you suffer eternally
Or internally ?

For her lust
She’ll burn in hell
Her soul done medium well
All through mass manual stimulation
Salvation

Body of Christ
She needs
The body of Christ

She’d like to know God
Ooh love God
Feel her God
Inside of here – deep inside of her

Jesus Christ looks like me