Tag: Roman Catholic Church

  • One Year Later: How Many Pastors Have Been Forced to Marry Same-Sex Couples?

    jerry falwell jr and donald trump
    Fundamentalist Baptist Jerry Falwell, Jr. and Christian Donald Trump

    A year ago, the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, invalidating federal and state laws that defined marriage solely as the union of a man and a woman. Evangelical, Catholic, and Mormon culture warriors warned that the Supreme Court’s ruling would pave the way for forcing pastors, priests, and elders to marry same-sex couples. Warning that pastors would soon be jailed for refusing to perform such marriages, these defenders of heterosexual marriage began working at the state level to pass laws that would exempt pastors, priests, and elders from marrying gay couples. These hysterical laws were/are little more than lame attempts by conservative (Republican) legislators to show Evangelical voters that they are still battling the secularists and atheists who want to outlaw Christianity.

    Remember Robert Jeffress, pastor of First Baptist Church, Dallas, Texas, saying:

    That [refusing to perform same-sex marriages] may mean we experience jail time, loss of tax exempt status, but as the scripture says, we ought to obey God rather than man, and that’s our choice.

    Or Baptist pastor Rick Scarborough telling a radio audience:

    …[the clergy must] resist all government efforts to require them to accept gay marriage, and they will accept any fine and jail time to protect their religious freedom and the freedom of others.

    And former Presidential candidate and Baptist preacher Mike Huckabee warning pastors:

    If the courts rule that people have a civil right – not only to be a homosexual but a civil right to have a homosexual marriage – then a homosexual couple coming to a pastor, who believes in Biblical marriage, who says, ‘I can’t perform that wedding,’ will now be breaking the law.

    Ominous, indeed. Surely, a year later scores of pastors have been arrested and jailed for refusing to perform same-sex marriages, right?

    Just today, Americans United For Separation of Church and State — a group I proudly support — posted a list of those pastors arrested and jailed for refusing to marry same-sex couples. Are you ready to see the list? Here it is:

    number of pastors arrested

    That’s right, not one pastor has been arrested or jailed for refusing to marry a same-sex couple. Why? Because it has NEVER been against the law to do so. Pastors, priests, and elders have always been free to refuse to perform the marriage ceremonies of couples who do not meet their personal or ecclesiastical marriage standards. Sects, churches, and pastors are free to marry whomever they wish. As long as the U.S. Constitution remains in its current form, conservative Christian churches will have the legal right to not only refuse to marry same-sex couples, but also to bar gays from being members of their congregations. Evangelicals, Catholics, and Mormons — along with every other religious sect — are free to discriminate at will.

    Evangelical blowhards such as Robert Jeffress, Rick Scarborough, and Mike Huckabee are shameless liars for Jesus. These culture warriors only care about one thing, political power. This is why these very same men spent yesterday on their knees — not praying — but performing fellatio on Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump. These warriors are so shameless that they have convinced themselves that Trump is a Christian. Several months ago, Jerry Falwell, Jr. stated unequivocally  that Trump is a member of Team Jesus®:

    I’ve seen his generosity to strangers, to his employees, his warm relationship with his children. I’m convinced he’s a Christian. I believe he has faith in Jesus Christ. I’ve had conversations with him just within the past few weeks about his faith, and I have no doubts he is a man of faith and he’s a Christian.

    Evangelicals are busy now with plans to put “Christian” Trump in the Oval Office. Once their candidate is thoroughly trounced by Hillary Clinton, these liars for Jesus will return to the culture battlefield, once again trying to capitalize on the fears of their constituents. War on Christmas! Transgender Bathroom Use! Homosexuals Preying on Children! Prayer in the Public Schools! Creationism! President Clinton Taking Away Religious Freedom!

    As in past years, pastors and church leaders will indeed be arrested, but not for marrying same-sex couples. These men of God will make the front pages of their local newspapers, arrested for crimes such as child abuse, sexual abuse, rape, sexual misconduct, and sundry other crimes. These issues will be shoved under the rug, replaced by fake outrages and boycotts. These liars for Jesus will continue to reveal that at the heart of conservative Christianity lies hatred, bigotry, homophobia, and racism.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Rant by Bo Burnham

    This is the one hundred and fourteenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Rant by Bo Burnham.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    All the seats at the Sunday masses,
    Filled with the mass’s massive asses,
    Classes pass as fast as molasses.
    Ceremonial reading glasses.
    Read a little bit of Leviticus.
    All the kids are a little too little for this.
    All the parents nod in agreement –
    “I think I can vaguely see what he meant.”
    It’s too early in the morning glory
    To read another allegory story,
    The father, reads a little bit farther,
    Assuring the assured that they need not bother
    “When god, in verse 45, said that slaves are okay to buy,
    He meant that people, all from the start
    Each have slaves within their hearts.
    Things, that we have sold or boughten, that are forced to pick our moral cotton
    God calls us to set these free, free our hearts from slavery…
    And then as god goes on to explain the logistics of buying and selling slaves…”

    (Uh, He—ju—the Bible’s sorta like…
    It’s like, typos… didn’t…)

    In the back, I sit and I nod to the beats that are bumpin’ from my iPod
    My god, they’re starting to pray
    And over the music I can hear them say
    “dear god, dear lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword.
    Dear good all-seeing being, my way or the highway Yahweh.
    The blue-balled anti-masturbator, the great, all-loving faggot hater,
    I’d like to thank your holy might for making me both rich and white
    And though this is your day of rest, I come to you with one request
    There’s so much pain beyond this steeple,
    Wars and drugs and homeless people.
    Sadness, where there should be joy, hate and rape and Soulja Boy.
    A world in darkness needs your light, so I’m sure your schedule’s pretty tight
    But my dog just had surgery if you could fix that first…
    Jesus?

    Debra Messing’s fingers in a holy place, “Hail Mary full of grace.”

    Obama, could you pass some hope to the pope
    I know a couple dude’s who wanna elope
    See the church said, “nope” so the bros can’t cope.
    (the bros can grope but the bros can’t cope)
    They’ve been in love, they’ve been addicted
    Who said they shouldn’t? Benedict did.
    Cause in the holy land of the lord he’s the holy landlord and dicks are evicted.
    Cause you can be a benedict if you’ve been a dick under Benedict but
    You can’t have benedicts because there’s only one pope with only one dick
    What? Yeah, a dick on a pope is
    Just like a soap on a rope cause it’s
    Pointless, unless in prison, throw up your bibles, Christ has risen.
    Hallelujah, now it’s raining men,
    Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10.
    Winos at the Eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation
    Jesus wasn’t the messiah, get back I’m a heretic and I’m on fire
    It was Oedipus, those holy nights
    The holy motherfucking Christ.
    I’m a blasphemer post-Katrina cruising the marina. On a crusade to cruise aids
    And blast FEMA
    You’re too late, we’re fucked we don’t need ya.

    Amen
    In the name of the father, son and holy ghost
    Head, shoulders, knees and toes
    Turn up your nose, strike that pose.
    Hey, Macarena

  • So Much Good Has Been Done in the Name of Religion

    goodness religion

    A guest post by A.

    But so much good has been done in the name of religion too.

    This is one of the arguments I would quite happily never hear again for the rest of my days. It’s the apparent riposte of choice whenever someone has the temerity to draw attention to the downright formidable list of sins attributable to religions or religious institutions. Beginning from A for Appalling Atrocity, one could easily go through the alphabet many times over in an attempt to produce even a marginally comprehensive report of these misdeeds. Alas, the effort would most likely be come to nothing, for the inevitable reply would merely be “yes, it is true, all that took place, but it also inspired so much good“.

    At the risk of appearing forward, I must state this is without a doubt one of the most vacuous and insipid arguments I have ever encountered. Any truth there is to it, is a truth of the most trivial and banal kind, so much so that it bears great resemblance to the infamous claim by McDonald’s that their food is nutritious, since it contains nutrients. Yes, one can say people have been inspired to do good because of their religion, but has that good truly amounted to more in the grand scheme of things, than those vaunted McDonald’s nutrients? Do the few, aged onion slices really make up for the throat-clogging fat and the pink slime? In short, does it, and has it ever, made up for all the misery, suffering and all-round horribleness which can unquestionably be laid at religion’s doorstep? Do good intentions really cancel out abhorrent outcomes? And if McD’s doesn’t get away with appealing to all the good nutrients contained in their products, why should religion be allowed to use this frankly rather outrageous claim to get a free pass?

    You know, the fascists did a lot of good things too. They reduced unemployment, they made the infrastructure work, they restored order in society. I’m sure some Stalinists were very kind and loving to their families. The inquisitors and puritans who made it their life mission to hunt down, torture and kill heretics, no doubt had the very best intentions with regard to the future and well-being of all humankind. Many paedophile priests or ministers were reported to be well-liked and appreciated shepherds to their flocks, doing many a good deed and performing many a needed service. An inordinate proportion of men who abuse their partners are known to be very charming and impressionable with everyone else, and such good, dependable men too. Yet, do we excuse these people for the less than stellar aspects of their behaviour, based on “all the good” they have done? No, no, no, no, and all too often yes, respectively. Religion however, does get to hold this permanent get-out-of-jail-free trump card. Why?

    Why are Magdalene laundries and Irish reform schools ignored? What about the Catholic Church actively shielding paedophiles? Or lying to poor people in Africa about the efficacy of condoms in prevention of AIDS? The US government at the behest of religious elements instituting a global gag rule on the topic of abortion among all NGO’s receiving their funding? The evangelicals fomenting war(s) in the Middle East in the hopes of bringing about WWIII, the Armageddon and the second coming of Christ? The incalculable and frankly philistine destruction of culture and artifacts perpetrated by missionaries? The active pursuit to keep women forever as not even second class citizens? Denial of Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) and the abject refusal to do anything about it, as it can’t  possibly be true, because “God alone is in control of the planet”? Or is this all too abstract perhaps? What about refusing sick people life-saving medical procedures because they would amount to “playing God”? Bullying individual members to give up their autonomy, belongings and anything else the holy people deem offensive to the divinity? Forcing families to completely cut off apostates or those designated as such, at the threat of eternal damnation? Actually physically harming individuals, who dare to step out of line too much? Female genital mutilation (FGM), suttee, honour killings, witch hunts? I could go on, for pages on end. And do not for a moment think this doesn’t happen any more, or that it doesn’t happen in our beloved civilized west. I will be more than happy to point to actual cases. Note, that I have purposefully selected mostly modern examples here. The sheer carnage is by no means limited to history books, I assure you.

    Yet all the above is conveniently swept aside with a few small words, “but a lot of good too”. What that amounts to is a brazen claim that all the above and then some doesn’t really matter. It isn’t really that important at all, as it is generously counterweighted by soup kitchens, second hand shops, schools, orphanages, etc. Incidentally, that all too often means soup kitchens where a captive audience is proselytised to, or schools where children are mentally and physically abused. But look at all the good that has been done! Surely that means all the less savoury aspects are worth it in the end? Yes, I am sure that’s an inordinate comfort to those on the receiving end of those less savoury aspects. I ask you, what other institution in the history of humankind, would get such a leeway?

    The fascists are rightly denounced today, despite their purportedly accurate train schedules. Sincere belief in the goodness of one’s actions excuses few people, and gratifyingly often a few good qualities aren’t enough to rescue people who are harmful to others from social opprobrium. We are willing to do this, but religion still gets to appeal to its shiny side and wash away all its sins. So what’s the difference?

    Perhaps a hint to a possible answer is in the fact, that other people who frequently escape consequences for their behaviour are those in power. Husbands supported by patriarchal structures, sports heroes supported by adoring fans, billionaires supported by their buddies in business, politicians supported by party machines and so on. They couldn’t possibly be held responsible for what they’ve done; after all, they are otherwise so good (or rich, successful, handsome, etc.)! Those in power do not want the proles to get all uppity and attempt to apply the same rules to them as are applied to the proles. Those without power adore and idolise those in power, declaring that their heroes can’t be all bad and should therefore have their transgressions excused. Possibly also hoping against all good sense that the world is just and therefore those people would never get that far, or the institutions would never have survived this long, were their existence not, in the end, mostly a good thing for the rest of the world.

    It is well known that history is written by the winners. It would seem to me, that not only has religion been one of the great winners over time, but that it still is writing the history today.

  • If Salvation is by Grace and Not by Works

    salvation by works

    I recently wrote a post about Evangelical outrage over Montel Williams suggesting that the heart of Christianity is good works. Countless Evangelicals schooled Williams about salvation, reminding him that good works play no part in salvation. According to these Evangelicals, salvation is by grace — God bestowing his unmerited favor upon sinners. Are these Evangelicals right? It depends on which Bible verses you read. For example, Ephesians 2:8,9 says: For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God; Not of works, lest any man should boast. Seems to the settle the question right? Salvation is by “grace through faith and not by works.” However in the very next verse the Bible says: For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. This verse seems quite clear, well as clear as any Bible verse can be; that those whom God saves are ordained (chosen) by God to have lives that demonstrate good works. There are numerous ways one can argue this issue, but anyone with even a modicum of understanding about the New Testament certainly knows that the Bible makes a clear connection between salvation and good works. People who claim to be Christians yet live in ways contrary to the teachings of the Bible are, at best, Christian in name only. The Jesus who said Follow me surely expects his followers to believe and obey the teachings of the Bible. After all, according to Evangelicals, the Bible is God’s inspired, inerrant, infallible word. It’s God’s blueprint for life, a sure road map for the journey between birth and eternity. Why then, all the Evangelical outrage over Williams’ comment?

    A large number of Evangelicals believe that salvation is some sort of  magic pill or eternal fire insurance. At some point in their lives they have had some sort of “experience” with God and now they are Christians. For these Evangelicals, all that matters is believing the right things. And in recent years, believing the right things has come to mean having the right political beliefs. Williams’ comment was in response to Evangelical outrage over transgendered people using the wrong bathroom. Williams rightly pointed out that Evangelical hatred and bigotry towards transgenders was un-Christian. How dare Williams suggest hateful, bigoted Evangelicals aren’t being very Christian! These Evangelicals can recite John 3:16 and parrot “God’s Simple Plan of Salvation,” and that is all that matters. They might believe in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, but fuck those perverts who want to use what Evangelicals consider the wrong bathroom.

    These Evangelicals are being quite hypocritical, are they not? If salvation is NOT by good works, how dare they expect or demand people to live by the teachings of the Bible? Aren’t these the same Evangelicals who oppose homosexuality, same-sex marriage, premarital sex, or any other form of sexual expression except a monogamous married heterosexual couple having sex via the missionary position, yet commit the very sexual sins they condemn?  And aren’t these the very same people who make all sorts of moral demands that they themselves are unable to keep? Why should any of us — transgenders included  — follow ANY of the teachings of the Bible? If Evangelicals can’t practice what they preach, aren’t they being hypocritical? Of course they are.

    These Evangelicals (and I say these because some Evangelicals do think good works are essential to Christian faith) are the worst that Christianity has to offer. They demand that everyone submit to their religion’s teachings, yet they are ignorant of those very teachings. They expect everyone to obey their interpretations of the Bible, yet they exempt themselves from doing the same. When questioned about the disconnect between what they say they believe and how their live their lives, these Evangelicals remind their critics that they are works in progress or that they are resting on the promises of God. These Evangelicals are ignorant of much of what the Apostle Paul had to say about behavior, choosing to focus on God’s super-duper grace-filled plan for their lives — grace that Dietrich Bonhoeffer called cheap. All that matters to them is where they will spend eternity when they die — heaven. Well that and making sure that there are no transgenders using the wrong bathroom.

    You see, these Evangelicals actually DO believe in salvation by works. Every Evangelical has internalized some sort of moral code by which they, in theory, govern their lives. They think that this moral code comes straight from the mouth of God. And if it comes from God, shouldn’t everyone behave the same way? These Evangelicals, despite what they told Montel Williams, believe that there ARE certain behaviors that preclude people from being Christians. Will there be any LGBT people in heaven? Not according to these Evangelicals. In fact, their list of people who will not be in heaven is quite long. These Evangelicals speak out of both sides of their mouth, decrying anyone who says salvation is by works, yet at the same time saying that there are certain behaviors that will land people in hell (and most of these behaviors are sexual in nature). Quite frankly, if THESE Evangelicals will be in heaven, I am quite happy to spend eternity in hell with  Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Prince, homosexuals, Christopher Hitchens, transgenders, same-sex couples, liberals, abortionists, and Barack Obama. According to these Evangelicals, Dennis Hastert and countless other Christian perverts get a free pass because they told God, sorry, and promised to never, ever sexually molest children again. Yet, when Catholic priests diddle young boys and later ask God’s forgiveness, they still go to hell when they die. Why? Because Catholics worship the wrong Christian God. And around and around the Evangelical merry-go-round goes.

     

     

  • Sacrilegious Humor: Atheists by Dave Foley

    This is the twenty-eighth installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.

    Today’s bit is Atheists by Dave Foley.

    Warning, many of the comedy bits in this series will contain profanity. You have been warned.

    Video Link

  • Guest Post: The Debate

    guest-post

    Guest post by Ian

    A couple of days ago, several of us were sitting around at work discussing religion. It was 4 am and all of our work was completed. In the group were Eric – an atheist , Nazzy – a nominal Christian (Church of the Nazarene)  Chris – a Catholic of some sort, Ren – Filipino Catholic, and me – a deist.

    We are all pretty close, so no subject is sacred. Any fault or mistake is picked apart and put on display for the entire world to see. Religious discussions aren’t given special treatment, so they can get pretty brutal. Usually they end up with Eric and me being told we are going to hell. No big threat for either of us.

    That night, Chris was experiencing his first religious discussion. He is new, so none of us had any idea about his beliefs. Nazzy, the aforementioned nominal Christian, and Eric were trading jabs back and forth about souls, or the lack thereof, and how to tell if there is a god. Since I believe there is a god, just not the Christian one, I was sitting this discussion out. All of a sudden, Chris says, “I can prove there is a god!  Why is water blue?” It got very quiet, since this was a new line of reasoning. Eric gave a scientific answer. Chris asked why then was water clear when you scooped up a handful. Again, much interest and another scientific answer. Finally, Nazzy asked what these questions had to do with why there is a god. Chris said he didn’t know, he just wanted to know if we knew why water was blue. WHAT?? Much derision and laughing was heaped on Nazzy and Chris.

    A few minutes later, during a discussion where he was trying to prove that Jesus was the son of God, Chris said, “Did you know there are some who thought Mary Magdalene had a tryst?” Again, I was curious. This time, I asked Chris to explain, since I was genuinely curious. I told him I wasn’t being an ass, I truly wanted to know. Chris then told me that some people think Mary Magdalene had sex before she married Joseph and the immaculate conception story is a lie. I asked him where he heard this. He told me his dad was a Catholic preacher (not sure what type of preacher). I told him he needed to listen better. Mother Mary is a different person from Mary Magdalene.

    About this time, Nazzy was telling Chris to shut up unless he knew what he was talking about. Then the conversation turned to the Holy Ghost. Eric and I both reiterated that there is no such thing as the Holy Ghost,  Ren speaks up and says there is. He knows there is a Holy Ghost because there are real ghosts. Nazzy tells him to shut up.  Ren keeps on talking, so Eric asks him how he knows ghosts are real. Ren says, “because I saw it on TV, Ghost Hunters.”

    I looked at Nazzy and said, “These guys are on your side, buddy.”

    I guess the moral of the story is not to debate people unless you have facts. Know what you are talking about and don’t assume everything on TV is real.

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Every Sperm Is Sacred by Monty Python

    This is the ninety-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Every Sperm Is Sacred by Monty Python.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    There are Jews in the world there are Buddhists
    There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
    There are those that follow Mohammed, but
    I’ve never been one of them

    I’m a Roman Catholic
    And have been since before I was born
    And the one thing they say about Catholics is
    They’ll take you as soon as you’re warm

    You don’t have to be a six-footer
    You don’t have to have a great brain
    You don’t have to have any clothes on you’re
    A Catholic the moment Dad came

    Because every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Let the heathen spill theirs
    On the dusty ground
    God shall make them pay for
    Each sperm that can’t be found

    Every sperm is wanted
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
    Spill theirs just anywhere
    But God loves those who treat their
    Semen with more care

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Every sperm is useful
    Every sperm is fine
    God needs everybody’s
    Mine and mine and mine

    Let the pagan spill theirs
    Over mountain, hill, and plain
    God shall strike them down for
    Each sperm that’s spilt in vain

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Get Down on Your Knees Dear Father by Rabbie 1121

    This is the eighty-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Get Down on Your Knees Dear Father by Rabbie 1121.

    Video Link

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Plastic Jesus by the King Earl Boogie Band

    This is the eightieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Plastic Jesus by the King Earl Boogie Band.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I don’t care if it
    Rains or freezes
    As long as I’ve got my
    Plastic Jesus
    Ridin’ on the dashboard
    Of my car

    Through my trials
    And tribulations
    And my travels
    Through the nation
    With my plastic Jesus
    I’ll go far

    Ridin’ down the thoroughfare
    With a nose up in the air
    A wreck may be ahead
    But he don’t mind

    Trouble comin’
    He don’t see
    He just keeps his eye on me
    And any other thing that lies behind

    With my plastic Jesus
    Goodbye and I’ll go far
    I said with my plastic Jesus
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car

    When I’m in a traffic jam
    He don’t care if I say damn
    I can let all my curses roll

    ‘Cos Jesus’ plastic doesn’t hear
    ‘Cos he has a plastic ear
    The man who invented plastic
    Saved my soul

    With my plastic Jesus
    Goodbye and I’ll go far
    I said with my plastic Jesus
    Sitting on the dashboard of my car

    An if I weave around at night
    Policemen think I’m very tight
    They never find my bottle
    Though they ask

    ‘Cos plastic Jesus shelters me
    For his head comes off you see
    He’s hollow and I use him like a flask

    Woa Woa Woa

    Save me

    I don’t care if it’s dark or scary
    Long as I got magnetic Mary
    Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car

    I feel that I’m protected amply
    I’ve got the love of the whole damn family
    Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car

    With my plastic Jesus
    I said goodbye
    And I’ll go far

    And I said with my plastic Jesus
    I said sittin’ on the dashboard of my car

    When I’m goin’ fornicatin’
    I’ve got my ceramic Satan
    Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car
    Women know I’m on the level
    Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil
    Sneerin’ from the dashboard of my car

     

  • A Catholic Calls on Me to Take Down This Blog and Quit Spreading Evil Disease

    god in the mind
    Comic by Dan Piraro

    Here is an email I received from a Catholic upset over the content of this blog.

    Philokalia3 wrote:

    Take your blogs down, why spread your evil disease of lack of faith to others; misery loves company. Repent, call out to the Almighty with all your heart, be willing to raise the flag of surrender to God, brother you must ask God for sustained faith it is a gift, not something you conjure out of your own heart. Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, if you are eternally lost, and you asked not for faith it is no ones fault but your own: Joh 6:37  All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. Most High and Sovereign Father, grant to this man renewed faith, fill him w Thy Holy Spirit to the uttermost, utterly bind the Enemy and his helpers work against Bruce’s soul, Mother Mary and all ye Holy Ones in Heaven assist me in my prayers for Bruce, St. Pio, St. Jude, St. Anthony of Padua, St Nicholas, St Seraphim  of Sarov, help pray for this man, I beg, that his soul not be lost and that he would no longer work against the Most Holy Faith of Jesus, O Lord have mercy on His soul and irresistibly draw him back to Christ, and to His Church, in Jesus’ name do I pray, Amen

    I received this email a couple of years ago. Philokalia3’s prayers, like every other Christian prayer uttered against me, must have not made it to God’s voice mail box. Despite calling on God, Mary, and a host of saints, I remain unrepentant. So much for the “power” of prayer.