The Songs of Sacrilege series features songs that are irreverent towards religion, make fun of religion, poke fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenge the firmly held religious beliefs of others. Evidently, at least one Christian finds this series offensive.
Inappropriate? Yeah, that’s kind of the point. Christians whining about it lets me know that the series is doing what I intended it to — giving the godless and liberal Christians a laugh and irritating the heaven out of God’s chosen ones.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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This is the one hundred and thirty-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Trailer Song by Kacey Musgraves.
You say that you’re watching the birds out the window
Well I’ve got a bird you can watch
You ain’t gotta act like you’re borrowing eggs
Just to see if my dishes are washed
What’s it to you if it’s Wednesday at noon
And I’ve traded my iced tea for scotch
Keep your two cents on your side of the fence
Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
Nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer
You ain’t gotta ask what I did to my hair
Or whose underwear’s on the line
It ain’t mine
I ain’t gonna ask who’s been mowing your grass
So you ain’t gotta ask who mows mine
Quit judging my job and my car and my clothes
Get your nose out of your mini-blinds
Keep your two cents on your side of the fence
Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
There ain’t nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer
Don’t ask me if I go to church
I won’t ask if your husband is still out of work
Try and claim high society
We get our mail on the same side of the street
So keep your two cents on your side of the fence
Girl we ain’t friends we’re just neighbors
There ain’t nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer
You nosy bitch
There ain’t nothing to see here
Go back to your trailer
This is the one hundred and thirty-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves.
If you save yourself for marriage
You’re a bore
If you don’t save yourself for marriage
You’re a whore-able person
If you won’t have a drink
Then you’re a prude
But they’ll call you a drunk
As soon as you down the first one
If you can’t lose the weight
Then you’re just fat
But if you lose too much
Then you’re on crack
You’re damned if you do
And you’re damned if you don’t
So you might as well just do
Whatever you want
So
Make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s something you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points
If you don’t go to church
You’ll go to hell
If you’re the first one
On the front row
You’re self-righteous
Son of a-
Can’t win for losing
You’ll just disappoint ’em
Just ’cause you can’t beat ’em
Don’t mean you should join ’em
So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s something you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points
Say what you think
Love who you love
‘Cause you just get
So many trips ’round the sun
Yeah, you only
Only live once
So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s what you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, I would
And follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points
This is the one hundred and thirty-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin.
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
Everybody!
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
This is the one hundred and thirtieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Hey God, I’m just a little man got a wife and family
But I almost lost the house
Yeah, I bought into the dream
We’re barely holdin’ on, when I’m in way to deep
We’re two paychecks away from living out on the streets
She’s a workin’ single mom, like a Saint she doesn’t complain
She never says a word, but she thinks that she’s to blame
Her son just got convicted, he blew some punk away
She did her best to raise him, but the world got in the way
Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shits gone
It keeps on getting harder hanging on
Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
These days you’ve even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
Do you ever think about me
Born into the ghetto in 1991, just a happy child
Playing beneath the summer sun
A vacant lots’ his playground, by 12 he’s got a gun
The odds are bet against him, junior don’t make 21
Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shits gone
It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
These days you’ve even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
I’d get down on my knees
I’m going to try this thing you way
Seen a dying man too proud to beg spit on his own grave
Was he too gone to save?
Did you even know his name?
Are you the one to blame, I got something to say
Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
Seems like all the good shits gone
It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
These days you’ve even harder to believe
I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…
Do you ever think about me
This is the one hundred and twenty-ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is God’s Away on Business by Tom Waits.
I’d sell your heart to the junkman baby
For a buck, for a buck
If you’re looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch
You’re out of luck, you’re out of luck
The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
There’s a leak, there’s a leak, in the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
Digging up the dead with a shovel and a pick
It’s a job, it’s a job.
Bloody moon rising with a plague and a flood
Join the mob, join the mob
It’s all over
It’s all over
It’s all over
There’s a leak, there’s a leak in the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
[Instrumental Break]
God damn there’s always such a big temptation
To be good, To be good
There’s always free cheddar in a mousetrap, baby
It’s a deal, it’s a deal
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
I narrow my eyes like a coin slot baby,
Let her ring, let her ring.
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business.
God’s away, God’s away,
God’s away on Business. Business.
This is the one hundred and twenty-eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Come Down Jehovah by Chris Wood.
Come down, come down from your mountain, Jehovah,
My neck is terribly stiff.
Hitch up your robes and your raiment, Jehovah,
Climb down to the foot of your cliff.
And drink from the stream that was always beneath you,
Drink from our wonderful font.
‘Cause paradise is right here on earth, Jehovah,
What more could we possibly want?
Come down and talk amongst friends, Jehovah,
Come down and sit at your ease.
Walk through the woods and the valleys, Jehovah,
Sail upon glistening seas.
Pass on what you’ve learnt to the children, Jehovah,
And listen to what they have to say.
They say, ‘Paradise is right here on earth, Jehovah,
Not tomorrow, but right now, today.
And Devil come up from your fiery furnace,
Come up and show us your face.
There’s nothing you can teach us of evil or hatred,
We don’t have right here in this place.
There is nothing so evil as man in his mischief,
Nothing so lost or insane.
And bring your demons up, too, so we’ll know it’s not you,
But it’s us who must carry the blame.
It’s us who must live with the shame.
Come down, come down from your mountain, Jehovah,
Come down and be with us here.
Heaven and hell and the life ever after,
It’s such a beguiling idea.
But our spell on this earth is much richer, Jehovah,
Richer than you’ll ever know.
When it comes time to leave it behind,
We just close our eyes and let go.
If we’ve done our best we’ll be ready for a rest,
We just close our eyes and let go
This is the one hundred and twenty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is That’s Your Horoscope for Today by Weird Al Yankovic.
Aquarius
There’s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day
Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say
Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
Taurus
You will never find true happiness – what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest
Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test
Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss’s face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent – except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.
Where was I?
Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week
Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak
Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you’ve got hanging in your den
Capricorn
The stars say that you’re an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they’re lying
If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That’s your horoscope for today
This is the one hundred and twenty-sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Amazing Grace by Chase Holfelder. Holfelder changes the lyrics a bit on the second verse. Some Evangelicals were outraged over his sacrilege
This is the one hundred and twenty-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is What Would Jesus Do? by Adam Baum.
