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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Showing Breasts While Breastfeeding Tempts Men to Lust

lori alexander

Many young women today believe that it’s fine to nurse a baby in public and have other men see their breasts because feeding a baby is much more important than what men think or being modest and this is why breasts were created. I disagree. In my grandmother’s generation, women were always careful to cover themselves when they nursed their babies. It was the same for my mother’s generation. They wouldn’t have dreamed of allowing other men besides their husbands to see their exposed breasts.

My generation was modest about this as well. My friends always covered themselves up when they nursed their babies. This generation is different. Nakedness no longer brings them shame and nursing a baby is “natural” and so are breasts, so no big deal, right? Wrong.

You can bet I sure wouldn’t want a woman coming into my home and openly showing her breasts to my husband while nursing her baby. I nursed four babies for over a year and no man besides my husband ever saw my breasts. God commands that older women teach the young women to be discreet and part of being discreet and shamefaced is not drawing attention to ourselves and covering up.


Nakedness and shame continually are linked together in the Bible. “…and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear” (Revelation 3:18). We are not to show our nakedness just because we live in a culture that tells us it is acceptable. We are to be discreet in all of our behavior, yes, even when nursing our babies. If most of the generations before this generation could do it, so can you. Breasts are not to be displayed in public by godly women for any reason.


Yes, breasts are sexual for men or God wouldn’t have written this in His Word: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” (Proverbs 5:19). Men are highly attracted to women’s breasts no matter how much women don’t want this to be true. I wouldn’t even nurse in front of my sons if they were older than five years old. No, breasts are to be covered and private. It’s what God has called us to do

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Women Showing Their Breasts While Breastfeeding, February 2, 2018


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    Dear Lori, people have breasts, get over it. Now please get out of your bubble and move in with an indigenous culture from the tropics where most people are practically naked and yet somehow have far less problems with abuse, rape, and other things you rail against as being wrong as well, and then we can talk about which system is better. Obviously the thrice (un)holy “unchanging” diety that is christianity’s god has had a change of heart and opinion on modesty and fashion that seems to be wholly dependant on the culture and time period that his “inspired and inerrant” scripture was being written.

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      This is a good point but one wonders why somebody would unless they suffered at the breast as a baby or were denied it and the ascociated bonding of the feed with mom. Then when they see a child being loved and cared for, they lust after it and perhaps threaten the well-being of mom with baby. That would be seriously wrong in my view. We need to work through our own lack and damage without threatening others. Why do you say this, dave? Is it okay to ask?

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    Well, let’s acknowledge what truth there is here. I don’t think I’m hornier than the average male, and for many years now I haven’t even had to actually see an uncovered breast to get turned on by them. Covered breasts do it just fine. Or something not a breast that vaguely looks like a breast. Or reminds me of a breast. Or causes me to think of a breast. Or nothing – I can imagine breasts even in the dark. It’s kind of amazing. So it’s not even good enough for women to be completely hidden somewhere. It is all on me. God made me this way, and if I go to hell for it in the end it won’t be my fault. Or women’s fault. I just hope there are no breasts in hell. I’d like for it to stop sometime.

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    Somehow I’ve never been into breasts (we call them boobs in the UK, not sure if this term is used over the pond), because for some reason…oh never mind. Now dainty rear ends! That’s another thing!!

    And I really cannot understand how a woman feeding her baby need have have sexual connotations. It’s a matter of context.

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      You can imagine what might happen to a person who was not fortunate at the breast, was denied the bonding love of feeding there and falling asleep on mom. Did you know that the mother’s core temperature naturally adapts to suit the baby being held and not the mother? Dr. Bergman, I believe, helped to build our knowledge there and studies showed that the mother’s core temperature changed to suit the born-child on her breast. That is maternal bliss for baby and for mom!
      I am suggesting that if one was prevented this natural bonding and connection, then perhaps that blocked wholeness or completeness could be dumped into the image of a child at breast later on….. I am not excusing personal responsibility here and and suggesting that inappropriate connection be praised by any means but it is worthwhile to look at the natural phenomenon as compared with the one presented above that focusses on what some twit man does as if that is more important than the baby…. this is Christianity being taught in present day America. Praise almighty God!

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    My DD had a baby 2yrs ago in a UK city which has the lowest number of mothers b/feeding and the highest incidence of cot death. Baby clinics I attended were flooded with posters and leaflets encouraging b/feeding and offering lots of support from b/feeding cousellors etc. Local eateries are asked to display a sign ‘We’re breastfeeding friendly here’. Taking my DD and baby to some of these, I saw many other mums b/feeding over coffee with their friends – also encouraged to prevent isolation and depression among new mums – and I can tell Lori I did not see a single breast…everyone did it discreetly…do mothers in the USA strip to the waist to feed? They certainly don’t in any place I’ve ever been to. I think Lori and Ken lead such an uptight life, she’s worried a tiny flash of cleavage will cause him to stray and damage her reputation and image as being part of The Perfect Couple’.

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        Exactly, and they don’t in Britain or anywhere else I have been to either. I breastfed my own children, and I know plenty of women who breastfed THEIR children, and I can safely say that naked breasts just were not on display at all! We WERE “discreet.”

        I agree with other posters here: anyone (man or woman) who gets as hot and bothered about breastfeeding as this has got major issues. It’s very revealing (!) that Lori sexualizes the whole thing. What a sad mindset it is that insists that 1) men are ravenous beasts who can’t be trusted to control themselves and 2) it is entirely women’s responsibility to rein men in. Lori’s whole shtick is that most women are irresponsibile and immoral and that they need to be corrected (by Lori herself, naturally!).

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          I think men are busy lusting whether they observe breastfeeding or not. I agree with you that in Lori’s world women are supposed to be responsible for their own sins plus the sins of others! As far as lusting being a sin, boy, Lori’s got her work cut out for her on that one.

          Lori is fighting human nature plus just the personal preferences of different women. For example, some women love attention and some women try hard to avoid attention. This is about personality differences. I’ve gone to a church where you have everything from women dressed practically in potato sacks to others who look like they just stepped out of Vogue with high heels and a mini-skirt. Both were dedicated Christians. As for showing breast, some women feel totally comfortable showing cleavage and others don’t. It’s personal levels of what they are comfortable with.

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    “Nakedness no longer brings them shame” – and this is a bad thing? Christians (and other religious groups) teachings about shame and modesty do a lot of damage.

    If a man gets aroused seeing a woman nursing a baby, he has a lot of problems.

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      To me, it’s more about dignity, privacy, sacredness.

      I’m not a man, but I’d imagine some? most? could find it sexy.

      Nursing your baby in public without trying to be discreet could make many people around you uncomfortable, so I think it would be a matter of respecting the feelings of others-good manners, iow.

      If you were, say, in your own home with your husband and another couple socializing, I doubt your husband would love the idea of you casually nursing the baby in front of the other guy; and I doubt the other guy’s wife would be crazy about it either.

      Anyway, I just think some things are private.

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        Hi Lynn,

        I think you and I would have a great conversation in person. I get what you are saying about keeping some things private. I also get that societies changing. My babies were born in 2000 and 2002. We wanted to be able to go do things with our babies. Babies R Us, high end stores like Saks 5th Avenue, Lord & Taylor, Nordstr6were the only places with lounges where we could nurse in private. So many of us started nosing outside. Some with a blanket,some not. Nursing parents (moms and dads) banded yogeyyh5to create an environment where we could live normal lives. Grandparents had opinions about it pro and con, but we created an environment where we could participate in society. Living in a progressive area it’s hard for me to comprehend 2018 being unamenable to women nursing infants. It’s not like they are completely disrobing now or 18 years ago. I haven’t seen complete toplessness in USA. Maybe a little skin if you look closely. But I don’t see the big deal. Maybe I am missing something

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          Some people are shy. As a man, (65) married with two kids both young adults now, I would never bat an eye if my friend’s wife breastfed while in our company. It is the most natural thing in the world and though it is clearly a sensual delight for the child (and also some moms) I do not see it as sexy at all because sexy implies that in some way I would be desiring mom, her breast or something to do with being sexy…. Suggesting that men are all incapable of feeling the sensual delight of breastfeeding for those involved and not suddenly wanting to jump into sex is offensive to me and pretty laughable too. I live among normal folk in a small Canadian city and I don’t think most men I know would agree that breastfeeding is sexy or arousing. I am much more inclined to agree with ObstacleChick’s view that things have changed (in some places) and open breastfeeding is just and exactly like bottle-feeding in public; just a normal thing. Christians want women to hide their natural selves and to be covered and quiet. The Bible says all kinds of shit that is still taught regularly. Just ask Paul about women. He never knew one but had much to say on the matter after he hallucinated on the road. Long live free breastfeeding and bless the moms who care, who bond with their children and put them first.

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            Hi Brian. Your comments that showed up in my email are different from what I see here on the site, so I guess you decided not to send the other ones? Anyway, to kinda respond to all of it, I don’t recall my husband ever saying a word about breast-feeding at all. I was just using the two couples thing as an example of nursing with another guy close by and presuming how others might feel. I’ve not been in that situation in real life. But I sincerely thank you for being concerned that I might be with a man who’d think it was some awful thing. I guess my writing wasn’t very clear re that.

            Actually he did once make a comment. I used to go to La Leche League meetings, and he thought nursing was fine but why would you need to go to a meeting about it. lol I explained that the support of other mothers is nice and issues do sometimes come up that others could help you with. Anyway, it was kinda funny to me.

            Whether men find seeing moms nursing their babies to be sexy-I have no idea since I’m not a man. I assume some would and some wouldn’t and don’t really care one way or the other.

            If women want to be more relaxed and open while breast-feeding these days-more power to them. Women don’t all think alike about things. It’s no big deal to me-I was just expressing my opinion since I find the subject mildly interesting and have nursed seven children.

            I just reread the post by Lori since sometimes I feel like I’ve forgotten what the original point was. lol Okay she said “You can bet I sure wouldn’t want a woman coming into my home and openly showing her breasts to my husband while nursing her baby.” Well, I have to say I think I’d feel the same as her. I too wouldn’t want my husband watching my friend very openly nursing her baby. Actually I think my husband would feel uncomfortable and find a way to leave the room. I’d say probably most men would. But, as with women, not all men think alike about these things.

            “Men are highly attracted to women’s breasts no matter how much women don’t want this to be true.” lol What women don’t want men to be attracted to breasts? I don’t get that. ” I wouldn’t even nurse in front of my sons if they were older than five years old. ” Yeah, agree with that one too.

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          Hi ObstacleChick, I too think we’d enjoy talking in person. Of course it’s nice to be able to shop, go out, etc., and I’m all for that, baby in tow. It’s those times when nursing-which is the easiest, handiest, greatest thing-can become a problem due to lack of privacy. I think it’s great that more places now have nursing areas so moms can be more comfortable. And hopefully they aren’t near bathrooms-I hate public bathrooms but have spent a lot of time in them with young children or even nursing a baby-which of course is ridiculous and icky-feeling. I’ve nursed in restaurants at the table and also outside, but always with a blanket-not because of “shame” just shyness and my personal sense of what feels appropriate in public. No, I don’t think women who are more open are awful, and I don’t consider it a huge deal one way or the other.

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          Yes, I can’t understand the backlash against b/feeding. I and many other friends did it back in the 1980s and since…no one raised objections AFAIR..we just did it in public places under a shawl or discreetly opened blouse or top. I fed on top of a red London bus, on a bench outside the american embassy in Grosvenor Square that was bombed 2 days later, on a river ferry-crossing etc. etc. My friend and I were discussing this and she said she’d fed at an airport. The child, now 6yo said in horror, ‘But mummy, that’s so dangerous, we might both have got run over by a plane’ which placed a hilarious image in our minds and we still laugh about it.

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            I don’t think it’s a backlash against breastfeeding; it’s just the particulars. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing and should be encouraged.

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    I nursed all of my kids until they were about a year old, and feel very strongly that breast feeding should be encouraged. It’s just best for the baby. Women should not have to go into restrooms to nurse their kids.

    I did have one friend that had no issues with exposing her breast to nurse her babies. She had a number of children, and actually would nurse until her babies were older toddlers, well over two years of age. My husband and I personally had no problems with this when we visited together as a couple.

    I suppose I would take a middle position. It seems to me that it’s also important to consider and be respectful of the feelings of others around us. I personally would be discreet if nursing in a public place, such as church or the mall, either using a blanket, or wearing one of the blouses designed for nursing with concealed openings.

    I think every woman needs to do what seems and feels right for them.

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    Yulya Sevelova

    Lori has not so much a Christian outlook, as a Victorian one. There are Christians in other countries that aren’t Western, and don’t have that hangup over breasts or breastfeeding. More and more it seems she makes issues out of nothing, so she can cause a stir and garnish some attention.

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