Many young, unmarried couples today live (have sex) together before marriage, including many Christian ones, and think nothing is wrong with it since it is so common. We live by the commands of God, not what is acceptable in our wicked generation. God wants you free from all sexual activity before marriage for very good reasons, so don’t move in with your boyfriend no matter how much he persuades you to do so!
Once you move in with your boyfriend, he has little reason to ask you to marry him. You are already there to provide all that he needs: cook, cleaner, maybe financial benefit, and someone to have sex with him at night. Why should he have to take on all the responsibilities of marriage (commitment, provider, protector) when he can easily get the benefits of marriage (sex and a woman who helps him) for free?
The longer you two cohabitate, the more things you will share: rent/mortgage, utilities, furniture, pets, and sadly, illegitimate children. It always leads to one of two paths: marriage or separation. When your highly inevitable break up occurs, you will need to decide who keeps what and who moves out. It is hard to decide who keeps what when you have been splitting everything 50/50 for years. You can’t exactly cut your table that you both paid materials and labor into in half, or make larger decisions like how much and when to sell the home you bought.
Hopefully, you haven’t already gone as far as having sex, making children together, and moving in with your boyfriend. Even though society, family, and friends may think you two should live together while dating, DON’T DO IT! All of this is foolish behavior and will reap unhappy results. Find a godly, older person who will keep you accountable with your boyfriend. Seek purity in everything! Don’t spend too much time alone together. It’s not wise to do so.
But women say, “It’s cheaper,” or “We want to see if we want to marry each other,” or “We need to ‘try’ each other out.” Living together while dating each other is very different than married couples living together. You aren’t wondering if you paid for the movie tickets last time, or if it’s your turn to drive and buy groceries. You’ll always have in your mind that you can leave at any time since there’s no commitment which is what true love is. Plus, if you have been unfaithful before marriage, it is much easier to be unfaithful once married. There are many good reasons God commands young women to be chaste!
The more wicked our culture becomes, the more they will celebrate sin and hate what is good. “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!” (Isaiah 4:20-21).
On a cover of a popular magazine [Cosmo] recently was a picture of an immodestly dressed obese woman [Tess Holliday]. Our culture is trying to normalize obesity and even celebrate it. You can see this happening with other sins as well. We must never fall into their trap, dear women. We must never try to normalize something that God clearly calls sin.
Many cultures have few obese people because the portions they eat are much smaller than in America plus they are a lot more active. Supersize Cokes, fries, and all-you-can-eat buffets may look attractive to the budget but the diseases caused by carrying an extra 50-100 pounds and eating junk food will rob us of a full life. Hence, God tells us not to be gluttons and overeat. All of His commands are for our good!
Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit and as such, we are called to discipline our bodies and make them our slaves. I know it’s difficult in this day where there is an abundance of food but we must still never give up the struggle. I have four close friends around my age who have struggled with their weight their entire lives until a few years ago or so. How did they finally manage to not overeat and be overweight? They all joined Weight Watchers or had some other type of accountability group because having accountability and learning the value of portion control are extremely important in the battle over weight. Without these two things, it will likely be impossible for most of you to ever achieve the weight you desire.
Gluttony means “excess in eating; extravagant indulgence of the appetite for food.” If you are overeating on a regular basis, you are sinning the sin of gluttony and need to confess it to someone and ask for accountability. The ideal accountability partner can be your spouse who is with you the most or consider Weight Watchers and go on a regular basis. Learn to eat in moderation nutritious and healthy foods.
All sins that we struggle with need to be confessed and we must ask others to keep us accountable if we are unable to do it on our own. Other sins like drinking excess alcohol, sexual sins, and bitterness are just as destructive or worse than gluttony and are often hidden but need the same approach of making our body our slave, repentance, and accountability, instead of being a slave to our flesh.
“‘We are sliding backward’; STDs hit record high in US as resistant gonorrhea emerges. The US saw a record number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases in 2017, marking the fourth straight year of sharp increases in gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia, according to preliminary data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”
Sixty percent of teens have had sex by graduation. The average “American loses his or her virginity at age 17. Virgins make up 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of males aged 20-24.” Yet, don’t try to teach young people to be virgins until marriage or you will be blasted even by other Christians! Ridiculous. I aim to obey God rather than man (or woman).
God’s ways are perfect. He made sex to be between one woman and one man in the covenant of marriage. It’s not to be tried out before marriage to make sure the parts fit. The parts will fit! It’s not to be played around with before marriage. No, we are called to be chaste before marriage meaning no sex whatsoever before marriage; for the marriage bed is to be undefiled.
The consequences of not obeying God in this area are deadly. STDs can cause “infertility, stillbirth and an increased risk of HIV.” Besides the physical consequences, there are emotional consequences, too. We weren’t created to have sex like animals. No, we are made in the image of God and God calls us to take care of the temples (our bodies that He has given to us).
Did you notice that more males are virgins between 20 – 24 than females! While only 40 percent of high schoolers are virgins, only 12.3 percent of females are virgins after college. College is a breeding ground of sexual immorality with the drugs, alcohol, and hormone levels at an all time high and it’s only going to get worse. We live in a highly sexualized culture and we are not to see the things that most young people are seeing. We are to dwell on the lovely and the pure for a very good reason and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
Not withstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.And I gave her space to repent of her fornication: and she repented not. Behold I will cast her into a bed and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.And I will kill her children with death: and all the churches shall know that I am He which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works. (Revelation 2:20-23)
Jesus preached to the church in Revelation on the doctrine of Jezebel and I am doing the same. This false doctrine is prevalent in society and in the church today just before the Great Tribulation.
That woman Jezebel’- It may not have been her real name, but it fit her like a glove. Jezebel was a domineering, forceful, strong willed and self-willed woman. A masculine spirit in a woman. And Jezebels always marry hen-pecked wimpy men like Ahab.
The Jezebel Spirit is that wicked Satanic spirit that makes a woman rule over a man (I will not obey him). It’s call the Feminist Movement today, but at the beginning of this century, they were called suffragettes. It’s the spirit in women today that says, “I will not have a man rule over me- not in my home, not in the church, not on the job, and not in government.”
In the U.S.A., it started four generations ago and now has produced its deadly fruit in society. A total breakdown of the family and women ruling in most homes and churches. It has been passed down from mother to daughter to granddaughter. It’s a wicked, deadly anti-Christ spirit.
Jezebel named her daughter Athaliah, which is a man’s name in the bible. First she usurped a man’s name, and many women are usurping men’s first names today and refusing to take their husband’s last name in marriage. She says, “No man will name me,” or she gets a hyphenated name.
The Jezebel spirit is one of the main reasons for the high divorce rate and mothers not wanting their children. The Jezebel spirit wants you out of the home. Christian wives are to be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:5) and not bring their children to day care moms to raise. The Jezebel Spirit makes effeminate and homosexual sons and masculine daughters, teaching them to wear the pants in the home. (Mother rules- Matriarch rules).
The scriptures teach that a woman is much more susceptible to error in spiritual things than a man. She is more easily deceived for this reason she cannot teach in church or hold leadership positions. The devil deceived Eve, “and Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” (II Tim.2:14)
Third, the church was wrong in practice. They committed fornication. They let her have authority and she led them astray with false doctrine and they sinned by following her teaching. And men flock to churches today to sit under a woman pastor. They have despised their birthright and God-given authority to rule. They are raised by mothers who rule the home and they see nothing wrong with women ruling in the church. They have the Ahab spirit of a wimp.
She taught fornication (both physical and spiritual fornication) – both idolatry and adultery. Many Jezebels are teaching by their example of dressing like a whore with immodest apparel today. Jezebel was a whore. She taught it and she looked like it. Fornication is also taught in churches today- under the deceptive idea of sex education. Showing these ungodly movies and literature in the church.
Women who are living in sin, shacking up, are allowed to become members of the churches today and even teach Sunday School. Now even lesbians are in our churches teaching that form of ungodly fornication. Church leaders are marching on the streets with the Sodomites to our great shame. Beware of the Jezebel Spirit.
Jezebels use terms like male chauvinist. She probably wears short hair and dresses, either very sexy or very masculine. She likes to work outside the home and especially be the boss. She doesn’t like her kitchen or taking care of her children. She’s a career woman. She’s the boss in the home and the speaker of the house. She talks and he’s silent and she always gets the last word.
This spirit operates through women who desire to control or dominate men. This spirit is behind the woman who will publicly humiliate her husband with her tongue in order to have the control over him. (A daughter of Sarah has a meek and quiet spirit.) And she will use sex to control him also. If women don’t war against this spirit today, they will be used for destruction by Satan.
We live in a society where there is hatred for male authority. The Jezebel spirit is anti-father and anti-God the Father also. They are changing the Bible to mother god and goddess worship. Jezebel says, “I must control- I will be the boss.” Her heart submits to no man. I will have no man rule over me. I will support myself.
The spirit of Jezebel is controlling most churches today. When the men want to take control, there is a resisting, there is rebellion, and there is out and out refusal to submit by these Jezebels. Or there is manipulation that goes on in order to gain control. Like tears (her favorite way to get her way) or getting depressed. She will even refuse to go to church with her husband or she’s always sick or even will threaten to take the children and leave him. She must control at all costs.
One of the reasons that we have so much sin (suffering, pain and death) in the church and soooo many immature Christians who are more focused on grace (whining about being judged) than they are on holiness is that there is not enough teaching and admonishing of the Word among us. Our goal as Christians is to become more and more like Jesus Christ every day. That is the sanctification process!
The ladies who complain about Lori are so deceived and blind in their PRIDE they don’t even know what is good for them [and this is why women need a person with a penis to set them straight] when they see and hear it. They do not understand the DANGER they are in and how Lori is just calling out to them; trying to warn them of the pain, suffering, and death they are bringing upon themselves and their husbands and their children; not to mention the fact that by calling themselves Christians, yet continuing to live their lives in willful ignorance (of God’s Word) and sin, their lives do nothing but blaspheme (bring reproach upon) the Word of God.
Most women do not see the damage they are doing until it’s too late and even when their house (family) has been completely torn down (by their own hands), some still do not see what they have done because they are so blinded by their own selfishness, pride, and sin.
We live in a highly sexualized culture. Not many young people are virgins when they marry, even those within the Church. Years ago, Ken and I mentored young couples who were engaged. The leaders of this program, who have been in charge of this ministry for 30 years, told us that when they began this ministry most of the engaged couples had not had sex before marriage but nowadays, it was difficult to find any young couples seeking premarital counseling who were still virgins. [I call bullshit because I can do math. Thirty years in the ministry takes us back to 1988. Those getting married came of age in the 1960s and 1970s — you know the FREE LOVE era. I read a British study (which I can no longer find) that looked through eighteenth century marriage and birth records (which were kept by churches). They found that the majority of women were pregnant when they got married. This should not be surprising for those of us who live in the real world — the one where it is natural for young adults to have sex. Young adults have always been having sex before marriage. Duh, right? And they are not likely to confess their fornicating to an Evangelical inquisitor. I had more than a few couples lie to me during counseling.]
There are many more verses related to fornication in the Bible.[How often has a Bible verse stopped someone from having sex. My guess, not very often.] It is a serious offense in God’s eyes. He wants us to be chaste and pure before marriage and become one flesh with one man. God’s commands are for our good.[Telling young adults with raging hormones NOT to have sex is most certainly not good for them.] The spread of sexually transmitted diseases is at an all time high. Yes, the sin of fornication has some serious ramifications. [And it doesn’t have to if proper precautions are taken.] It breaks the covenant of the one flesh marriage (even prior to marriage) and it is a sin against one’s one body.
Is there hope for those who have committed fornication? [Lori makes it sound like having premarital sex is some sort of serious crime. Sorry, but it’s not.] Of course, but they will deal with the regret and possibly the scars (infertility and/or disease) from it all of their days [Most people survive their unmarried years just fine. Lori is a fearmonger, plain and simple.] but there is forgiveness in the Lord Jesus Christ. “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).
Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church. As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to Him because His ways are the best. He calls debt a burden and urges us to live lives of sexual purity.
There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.
“Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.”
“If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.”
“The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.”
“They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.”
“They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don’t cook. If they do, it’s typically for themselves.”
“The list goes on. Churches don’t talk about it. They support the college kids (really adults) and the ‘working’ mothers.”
“It’s very rare to find an 18 year old woman that continues to work and live at her parent’s house until she meets her husband. It’s pretty much a joke to all who do that.”
There is a huge mistake going on among many parents today. They don’t want to say “no” to their children. They don’t want to correct them. They don’t want to discipline them or use the rod on their bottoms for disobedience. They don’t want to link sin and pain together. They want to be their children’s friend instead of their parent. They want their children to have “freedom of expression.” This is not raising children in wisdom; for God’s Word tells us to raise our children opposite of this foolish way.
We are still allowed to use a “rod” on children anywhere in America as long as it does not physically injure the child. I pray this never changes since this is biblical! Spanking must bring short-term pain to a child in order to accomplish long-term gain.
I have personally witnessed parents who do not spank and discipline their children. Their children grow up to have little to no self-control and live a life of destruction. They don’t fear sin because they weren’t taught to fear it as a child. Most of them have grown old with many regrets.Yes, it’s usually the mother who doesn’t want to “harm” the child because women are more sensitive and emotional. I have also seen women interfere with their husbands’ discipline of the children and this is devastating for the children’s future. We must never be led by our feelings or emotions but live by the truth of God’s Word. The Lord knows that children need a rod when they misbehave because He knows the seriousness and the destructiveness of sin. The sooner parents nip this in the bud, the better for all.
As I have detailed several times before, many Evangelicals have what I call boob-a-phobia — the fear of breasts. This phobia is quite common among Evangelical men who have feasted on a steady diet of complementarian, patriarchal, women-are-Jezebels, men-are-weak-pathetic-helpless-horndogs preaching and teaching. Women are expected to keep their bodies covered at all times lest a glimpse of their cleavage, legs, or feminine shape causes widespread male lust. Women are always viewed as gatekeepers. It’s up to them to make sure that visually-driven Jesus-loving man-children don’t see anything in the appearance of women that might cause them to say to themselves, nice. (Jesus heard that buddy! Repent!)
It’s amazing how many Christian women think it’s fine and dandy to openly breastfeed their babies and show their breasts to men who aren’t their husbands. It riles women up when I teach them to be modest and discreet even while breastfeeding. They falsely believe that breasts aren’t sexual and it’s men’s fault if they like to see breasts while nursing because they are “perverts.”
Women have told me that Jesus’ mother Mary breastfed openly in the temple and Catholics have shown me pictures of Mary’s breast hanging out in preparation to nurse her baby. There isn’t one single Bible verse that tells us that she breastfed openly! Not one. I am sure she was known as a godly, discreet, and modest woman since God chose her to bear His Son.
Here is a comment from one wise women on this topic:
It’s like people don’t read the scriptures anymore and do word studies. It annoys me. Men are visual or there wouldn’t be so many verses about the body in Song of Solomon alone! But since this is about breasts here are just a few verses on them.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. — Proverbs 5:19
This verse is implying that the breasts are satisfying and here we are seeing the encouragement for them to always make a man filled with delight. The King James uses the word satisfy which implies that they are satisfying to a man. They aren’t drawn to things that are not satisfying.
Both satisfy and delight mean to be filled, take pleasure in. It is the same delight that is used when it says God delights in His people. The way God delights in His people is the way a man is to be about his wife’s breasts only. But like everything that is beautiful in God’s Holy Word and ways, it gets perverted by the world we live in and you have men delighting in other women’s breasts and you have women practicing zero discretion. Zero.
If that wasn’t enough to show that men like breasts here is another verse:
Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lilies. — Song of Solomon 4:5
Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples. — Song of Solomon 7:7-8
How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O noble daughter! Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.– Song of Solomon 7:1-13
The man in Song Of Solomon was clearly attracted to this woman’s breasts. Why did God allow that to be in His word for everyone to read? Because men love breasts and in the context of marriage it is a beautiful thing! But again the perverted world we live in would like to believe this isn’t true or simply don’t care like they do with homosexuality. They believe it simply isn’t true that God hates it or they don’t care.
Alexander oh-so-wrongly believes that men always view female breasts in a sexual manner. The same with legs or the feminine shape. Evidently, the men she and her followers have been around are unable to distinguish between breasts that are being sexually satisfying and breasts used as milk wagons for junior. In their minds, any exposure is an open invitation to lust. Perhaps this says more about these men than it does breastfeeding mothers who dare to do what is natural and normal when breastfeeding their babies.
One commenter on Alexander’s post had this to say:
This commenter doubts whether breastfeeding “exhibitionists” are True Christians®. Why, no True Christian® woman would ever expose any part of her breasts while breastfeeding. Think of the children! uh, I mean the men. Evidently, this woman’s husband has an eye or two for breasts. Why, church women have exposed their breasts to him millions of times! Makes me want to reconsider Christianity. Now, where’s this church so I can go and investigate their sized DDD — Father, Son, Holy Ghost — faith?
Alexander’s post and its attendant comments are a reminder of how infantilized many Evangelical pastors, churches, and congregants have become.
Let me conclude this post with a couple of stories I think readers might find funny. In 1994, I was the co-pastor of Community Baptist Church in Elmendorf, Texas. On Wednesdays, the church gathered for prayer. Not a typical five-minute Baptist prayer meeting, but one that lasted upwards to two hours. We would sing a few songs and then get on our knees and send our prayers upwards to the ceiling God. (This was the only time women were permitted to speak during church.) Polly and I have six children. At the time, our girls were five and three. Being the daughters of fine upstanding Fundamentalists, the Gerencser girls wore dresses to church, and everywhere else, for that matter. As prayer meeting droned on, it was not uncommon for us to place the girls on the floor for a nap. One evening, a fire-breathing Calvinist — who is still a church member — came to me and said that she could see my daughters’ underwear while they were lying on the floor. She thought I would went to know so I could cover them up. Instead, her new pastor told her, don’t look. That went over well!
I had a similar experience in the 1970s while attending Sierra Vista Baptist Church in Sierra Vista, Arizona. I was eighteen at the time, and I was dating a twenty-year-old church girl named Anita. Anita irritated the hell out of then-deacon Chuck Cofty (now a Baptist evangelist) with her short skirts. One day, Cofty came up to me, filled with righteous indignation, and said, Your girlfriend’s skirt is too short and it is immodest. Cofty expected me to tell Anita to wear longer skirts. Trust me, even if I wanted to pass on Cofty’s edict — and I didn’t; I liked her skirts — Anita wasn’t the type of woman you could badger into compliance. I told Cofty the same thing I told the woman at Community Baptist, don’t look.
And here we are in 2018. I have two words for Alexander, her followers, and their menfolk, DON’T LOOK!
About Bruce Gerencser
Bruce Gerencser, 61, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 40 years. He and his wife have six grown children and twelve grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist. For more information about Bruce, please read the About page.
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What follows is a typical example of how many Evangelicals view history and the world.
“Baby boomers are the generation that inherited a prosperous country and leave behind a country bankrupted and drowning in debt. They inherited strong nuclear families and leave behind a long, sad trail of divorce and broken homes. They inherited relatively strong churches and leave behind decaying and empty ones. They decimated our political and social institutions, and now, in their final act, will try to place the blame on the generation they failed to raise.” (Matt Walsh)
I am from the baby boom generation. My parents were the last decent generation. Most of them grew up in intact families, the majority of people worked hard (they had to or they would starve) and only bought what they could afford, mothers were full-time homemakers, and everyone knew what was right and what was wrong.
Then came the sexual revolution in the 60s. Monogamy was boring, women needed to become like men and get away from their homes and children, government “owed” them free stuff, and if one wasn’t happy in the marriage, then divorce and sadly, all of these things have infiltrated the churches. It was a poison (sin) that has continued to grow stronger, more evil, and more pervasive.
My parents had no clue what the “parties” were like when I was in high school. The kids were sleeping around, smoking pot, and getting drunk. Sure there were people in my parent’s generation that did these things but not on a massive scale like in my generation and every generation since then and everyone in my parent’s generation knew these things were wrong.
So our country is now like Sodom and Gomorrah. Many of us are like Lot: “For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed (tormented) his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds” (2 Peter 2:8). I was watching the playoff basketball game the other night for a few minutes and saw two wicked commercials during the game. One promoted gay marriage and had two women kissing and the other one promoted the women’s basketball league by showing pictures of the Women’s March, gay pride, and sponsored by Planned Parenthood. This torments my righteous soul (and yes, I am righteous because I am clothed in Jesus Christ).
I am grieved when I see a show (This is Us) that many Christians “love” that began with a scene of a man’s naked behind, a threesome going on in a bed, and some women standing around in bras and underwear. I quickly decided it was not the show for me since we are to dwell on the pure and lovely and “abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Do you abstain from ALL appearance of evil or are you entertained by it?
How bad is it going to get before Christians get rid of their televisions? How bad are public schools going to have to get before Christians pull their children out? If your children are in public schools, they are being influenced by the children around them and what these children are seeing on screens. Men kissing men will be completely normal behavior for them and so will men wanting to be women and vice versa.
— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, The Baby Boom Generation Started the Depravity, June 12, 2018
Recently, Christian Fundamentalist Lori Alexander took to her blog to promote beating children as God’s approved way of controlling children. In particular, Alexander objects to Dr. Spock’s no-violence approach to effectively raising children into responsible adults. Alexander will have none of that. Beat your kids, she says. God demands that parents use a rod on the backside of rebellious children. Not beating your children means you love them more than you love God; that you are more concerned with their welfare than you are being obedient to the violent tribal deity of the Bible.
Dr. Spock: “[Physical punishment] certainly plays a role in our acceptance of violence. If we are ever to turn toward a kindlier society and a safer world, a revulsion against the physical punishment of children would be a good place to start.” (p. 173)
Lori Alexander: This is in direct contradiction to what God tells us in His Word. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15) “Oh, but the rod isn’t a physical instrument,” people will tell me. Really? Please study all of the verses that mention the rod and you will see that this isn’t true. How does God discipline us? Is He only positive and encouraging? No! “For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives” (Hebrews 12:6). Chasten means “to correct by punishment; to punish; to inflict pain of reclaiming an offender; as, to chasten a son with a rod.” Scourge means “to afflict for sins or faults, and with the purpose of correction.” Who are we to think we know better than God? No, God doesn’t mean that we should physically abuse our children in any way. [actually, he does] We use the rod of correction as a tool to make them obey and this teaches them self-discipline which benefits them for life. Many things in God’s Word have been taken to extremes and have caused harm for people. This is not God’s way. His way ends in peace and goodness not in evil and harm.
Spock: “My other reasons for advising against physical punishment are, in brief, that it teaches children that might makes right, that it encourages some children to be bullies, and most fundamentally, that to the degree that it results in good behavior it’s because of the fear of pain. I have a strong belief that the best reason for behaving well is that you like people, want to get along with them, want them to like you.” (p. 173)
Alexander: On the contrary, pain and fear are great motivators for good as I shared in the above verse about how God disciplines us. My children were all spanked when they sinned against us or others and none of them were bullies or got into physical fights with others. They were kind to others, respected authority, and were a joy to raise. A one year old can’t comprehend “liking people” as much as they can quickly comprehend a small amount of pain that is swiftly administered for disobedience.
Spock: “I don’t think physical punishment is necessary or particularly effective.” (p. 215)
Alexander: It sure has been for centuries before you wrote your book, Dr. Spock. Children were much better behaved than they are now. God’s ways will always trumps man’s ways.
Spock: “All schools should be friendly, creative places like the best I’ve seen. We should wean ourselves away from physical punishment.” (p. 33)
Alexander: When I went to elementary school, the principal had a wooden paddle in his office and he used it! Children were well-behaved for the most part. There was nothing going on like there is in the schools today. A swat on the back side is a quick, effective method against disobedience.
Spock: “Recently I visited a small private school . . . with the idea of asking children . . . what advice to parents they’d like me to incorporate in the forthcoming revision of Baby and Child Care. In a thoughtful mood, the class was unanimous that parents should not hit their children. . . One child added that if you’re crying and your parent tells you to stop and then hits you when you don’t stop, it only makes you cry more.” (p. 229-233)
Alexander: And asking children how they should be disciplined is a wise thing? If he asked adults how they would like their government to run, I’m sure some immature adults would say that they shouldn’t be put in prison for abusing drugs, driving drunk, and getting tickets for speeding and running red lights. Children do NOT know best how they should be raised. Why not interview parents of adult children who are now upstanding citizens and ask how they raised their children instead?
Spock: “I hope American parents can outgrow the conviction . . . that physical punishment is necessary to bring up well-behaved children. . . There are parts of the world where it has never occurred to any adult to strike a child. I have known personally or professionally dozens of families in which the parents never lifted a hand–or otherwise punished or humiliated their children–and yet the children were ideally cooperative and polite. Children are eager to be ever more grown up and responsible.” (p. 13)
Alexander: Yes, I am sure parents can raise good children without ever spanking them but it takes a lot more time, energy, and effort and to tell you the truth, I haven’t seen many who are successful at it. In order for spankings to work, a parent must be consistent, firm, and loving. It doesn’t work without these three key ingredients. [In other words, busy parents beat their children so they will have time to do other important things such as reading the Bible and going to church.]
Spock: “There are several reasons to avoid physical punishment. It teaches children that the larger, stronger person has the power to get his way, whether or not he is in the right. Some spanked children then feel quite justified in beating up on smaller ones. The American tradition of spanking may be one reason there is much more violence in our country than in any other comparable nation.”
Alexander: No, it teaches children that they must obey and respect the authority in their lives, whether they be parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, and government which is a good thing. My children never beat up on the smaller ones. If they did, they would have been spanked and would have never done it again!
Many young women today believe that it’s fine to nurse a baby in public and have other men see their breasts because feeding a baby is much more important than what men think or being modest and this is why breasts were created. I disagree. In my grandmother’s generation, women were always careful to cover themselves when they nursed their babies. It was the same for my mother’s generation. They wouldn’t have dreamed of allowing other men besides their husbands to see their exposed breasts.
My generation was modest about this as well. My friends always covered themselves up when they nursed their babies. This generation is different. Nakedness no longer brings them shame and nursing a baby is “natural” and so are breasts, so no big deal, right? Wrong.
You can bet I sure wouldn’t want a woman coming into my home and openly showing her breasts to my husband while nursing her baby. I nursed four babies for over a year and no man besides my husband ever saw my breasts. God commands that older women teach the young women to be discreet and part of being discreet and shamefaced is not drawing attention to ourselves and covering up.
Nakedness and shame continually are linked together in the Bible. “…and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear” (Revelation 3:18). We are not to show our nakedness just because we live in a culture that tells us it is acceptable. We are to be discreet in all of our behavior, yes, even when nursing our babies. If most of the generations before this generation could do it, so can you. Breasts are not to be displayed in public by godly women for any reason.
Yes, breasts are sexual for men or God wouldn’t have written this in His Word: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” (Proverbs 5:19). Men are highly attracted to women’s breasts no matter how much women don’t want this to be true. I wouldn’t even nurse in front of my sons if they were older than five years old. No, breasts are to be covered and private. It’s what God has called us to do