Christians Say the Darnedest Things: How to Hook a Man

lori and ken alexander

Brometheus tweeted this recently: “Steps for women looking to get engaged: 1) Wear a nice sundress; 2) Smile a lot; 3) Carry a plate of bacon; 4) When people mention the bacon, say, ‘Yes, I made it.’ Men will instantly rate you far above the vast majority of modern women. This ain’t rocket science. It’s that simple.”

Most men aren’t that complicated. Women are much more complicated because we tend to be led by our emotions and feelings which change frequently. I know there are many young women who would love to be married so this is great advice for you!

Many women don’t dress feminine anymore. Most wear leggings ALL the time which are NOT feminine. Everywhere I go, women are wearing leggings. On a few women, they are very sexy since they outline the body parts clearly. On other women, they are not attractive at all. Few women have perfect bodies. Women, leggings are not feminine nor modest in the least. A pretty sundress or skirt are much more feminine and attractive to men.

….

Finding a godly man isn’t easy in this culture, I know, but there will always be a remnant (Romans 11:5). Always dress and act feminine. Learn to be cheerful and cook good food. Ask the Lord to bring a godly man into your life and then wait upon Him. Find the best Bible believing and teaching church around and get involved. Do what you can and leave the results up to Him. In the meantime, concentrate on being holy in body and spirit as God commands (1 Corinthians 7:34). Oh, and most men do prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos!

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Men are Attracted to Women Who are Feminine, Cheerful, and Good Cooks, September 10, 2019

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19 Comments

  1. Brunetto Latini

    Well I feel the same about shirtless men as she feels about leggings. Some men look fantastic shirtless, and they should go around like that all the time. Most men, however, should wear a shirt.

    Reply
  2. ObstacleChick

    I just threw up a little bit. This is the same type of drivel we got in Christian school and church, except at the school sundresses were forbidden because they didn’t have sleeves and shoulders on girls would send horn dog boys straight into hellish lust, which of course is the little tramp’s fault.

    Reply
    1. TW

      OC…

      “Ask the Lord to bring a godly man into your life and then wait upon Him. Find the best Bible believing and teaching church around and get involved. Do what you can and leave the results up to Him.”. I read the whole quote and just shook my head. But this last part that she wrote… I just don’t know… When I think back to when I was in my late teens and wanting “someone” in my life and then supposedly waiting for the “flying spaghetti monster” to bring someone along… what a crock of fucking shit! When will these people admit that it doesn’t REALLY have a damn thing to do with that, and that at the end of the day, it’s really just about who we’re attracted to! Yeah, I get that it’s what THEY believe… because I used to believe it too. But the worst part is just how misogynistic what she wrote sounds, and she doesn’t even realize it! And for the record, from a guys perspective, leggings look fantastic on a lot of women! 😏😉

      Reply
  3. Brian Vanderlip

    I try hard to see how Jesus doesn’t entirely ruin a person. I think, well, there must be a balanced faith of a sort that Christians can partake of that does not trample reason and decency! Then I hear Lori bubble happily along with God’s message to women and it confirms my worst fears: Christianity is a brain-eating virus.

    Reply
  4. Steve Ruis

    Re “Ask the Lord to bring a godly man into your life and then wait upon Him. ” Uh, what happened to “God helps those who help themselves.”?

    Reply
    1. Infidel753

      For every Biblical cliché, there is an equal and opposite Biblical cliché. It’s one of the basic laws of religion.

      Reply
  5. Michael Mock

    “Show up naked. Bring beer.”

    Reply
  6. Astreja

    I have a sure-fire way to avoid attracting Christian men: No makeup, nice heavy jeans, a T-shirt and Sensible Shoes™, humming 1970s rock tunes as I load 2x4s into my car. Works like a charm. 😉

    Reply
  7. Karen the rock whisperer

    She left out “playing stupid”. Never let a man know you’re as smart as he is, or so my mother advised me. Men aren’t supposed to be attracted to smart women. Um, sorry Mama, but I found a good guy who appreciates my brain.

    Reply
  8. angiep

    Is she promoting alcohol now? ‘Cause those are definitely wine bottles & barrels in the background…

    Reply
  9. ObstacleChick

    TW, so much of fundamentalist evangelicalism is misogynistic. I feel like I recall misogyny being normalized as “God’s Will”, and as a girl I HATED IT. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me and set me on a path exploring an escape….. As if it wasn’t bad enough being sexually harassed all the time being the norm, but being told that God’s Will was that I was to be submissive to men? No effing thanks.

    Reply
    1. Brian Vanderlip

      ObstacleChick, this is what breaks my heart for close relatives. The have to love the Lord as they are the progeny of a mom who was born to a Baptist preacher and a dad who has become a dean of a Christian college. I am sad that they are both needing psych meds and both suffer without knowing why… Fucking Jesus Christ almighty! Christianity is a sickness.

      Reply
      1. TW

        OC…

        Without a doubt! I am recently divorced, and my deconstruction has had a lot to do with that. I still care about my ex, but I eventually came to know I wanted a very different life from her… she is still a believer, which I honestly have never had a problem with, but I knew this would eventually be a source of conflict, because I had decided that I wanted to embrace the world and all that it offers. Like Bruce, I was SO wrapped up in ministry and Christianity, it was absolutely who I was, my entire identity. Bruce and I have talked about this, and I just shake my head EVERY time someone writes and wants to question whether or not he was ever REALLY a true Christian, because our personalities are such that there was no “half way” for either of us. From the moment I became a believer I was in ALL the way, and I took it incredibly seriously. So anyway, because of evangelical teachings, my ex had revolved most of her life in support of mine. She developed few of her own interests, although she did work outside the home, but when the “church” piece went away, it was rough, to say the least. And now, I can’t help but look back and see a lot of harm in those teachings…

        Brian,

        Following on my last sentence, the longer I’m away from it, the longer I’m outside of it, the more convinced I become that a lot of evangelical Christianity and it’s teachings are quite harmful. For instance, the idea of the Bible being the inspired, infallible, inerrant WORD of the supposedly MOST powerful deity in the universe… I was 13 when I got “saved”, and for an impressionable young man like myself, that is an incredibly powerful concept! That, and many other concepts of evangelical Christianity shaped my entire thinking and worldview…

        Reply
        1. Brian Vanderlip

          After years of distance, I see more clearly that the basic tenants of evangelical belief are sick constructions and for me, it goes beyond evangelical fundamentalism and includes all evangelical belief and the Bible itself: We are not born evil and depraved. We are not in need of Jesus or any other magical performer.

          Reply
  10. Reverend Greg

    I met my wife when we both played on the same coed softball team. How sexy is that? But I will say a plate of bacon is enticing.

    Reply
  11. Caroline

    Lori Alexander, better than everyone and teaching women as she’s instructed to do. Followed by men she wouldn’t invite to her home (I hope) and insipid women who are trapped in a crazy worldview. She and her husband make the concept of Christianity so unappealing.
    She’s a trip and negatively influences gullible women every day while encouraging power- obsessed men.

    Reply
  12. thatotherjean

    The September meeting of the “Stereotypes “R” US” Club will now come to order. . .

    Reply
  13. Troy

    I think I’d have to disagree that most women don’t look good in leggings. General rule is if a woman has good legs she’ll probably look good in leggings. A prime requisite is to be thin, and if a woman isn’t thin why would she wear something tight?

    “A pretty sundress or skirt are much more feminine and attractive to men (than leggings)” Disagree. I don’t think one is more feminine than the other.

    As for cosmetics, while some cultists (or those who look like cultists) eschew makeup, I’d say go for it, though less is more. Don’t hide behind your makeup and don’t over do it. If you’re spending more than 15 minutes doing it, it is too much. Of course looking at Lori, who isn’t bad looking at all, she definitely needs some eye makeup.

    Odd archaic cultist styles like culottes, overly long skirts, anything that isn’t swim or weather appropriate makes you look loony, and loony is something that men don’t like at all.

    Of course Lori doesn’t tell young women this, because she likely believes being forward isn’t feminine, but expressing interest in a man that one finds attractive is the best way to get attention.

    Reply
  14. Rachel

    Troy, your entire focus on women seems to be on what we should, in your opinion, wear. Can’t you see/hear how limited and controlling that is?

    Reply

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