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Hey Girls, What Jesus Gives You is Way Better Than What Your Crush Gives You

Jesus on his way to Paula Hendrick’s apartment to pick her up for a “date”

What follows is a short video by Paula Hendricks, a writer for the Lies Young Women Believe website. Hendricks asks: Have a mushy crush on a hot boy, girlfriend? Are you blown away by his attention and all the gifts he gives you to let you know he cares? Well, Jesus is way, way b-e-t-t-e-r.

Video Link

According to Hendricks, Jesus gives girls:

  • Life
  • Breath
  • Food
  • Water
  • Coffee
  • Himself
  • Forgiveness of sins
  • Peace
  • His perfect righteousness
  • Eternal, never-ending life
  • and more and more and more . . .

Hendricks asks, what are you looking to your crush to give you that Christ can’t give you?

In other words, girlfriend, Jesus is w-a-y better than any crush or boyfriend.

Except he’s not. Jesus is a fictional, feel-good crush that will do when one is between relationships, but Jesus is no match for a tender kiss, a warm embrace, or making love. Simply put, Jesus doesn’t have a penis. Hendricks, of course, is married, so she has plenty — I assume — of sexual satisfaction in her life. I find it interesting that many of these preachers of the no-sex-until-marriage purity gospel are, in fact, getting laid on a regular basis. I am not sure Hendricks is a person from whom a young horny unmarried Evangelical women should be taking advice.

Hendrick’s video is a reminder of the fact that Evangelical preachers and media hosts have an unhealthy obsession with the sex lives of others. Following Hendrick’s preaching leads to fear, guilt, frustration, and, often, sexual dysfunction later in life. My advice? Practice safe sex, girls, and e-n-j-o-y.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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  1. Avatar
    Len Koz

    So I can’t get out of bed in the morning unless Jesus gets me out of bed? Bruce, help me out here, I know you know the Bible well, where does it say that?

  2. Avatar
    Richard B.

    Wait, is this a mockery of Jesus. Please don’t do this, to the truly loving God. Jesus is all loving and all knowing and everything, he is the perfect one, and we can’t make fun of him like this. Thanks. May God direct all of you according to his loving ways Amen and Shalom 🙂

    • Avatar

      Dear richard,
      It is unlikely you will read this, blasphemy and mockery are the highest forms of free speech and without which we would not be able to expose the hypocrisy lies and outright fraud by several(but not all)adherants of any particular religion. You saying we shouldnt do it is all the more reason to do it.

  3. Avatar

    I’m a simple soul. It always puzzled me that supposedly god gave human beings several basic needs, for food, for shelter etc. He also made humans sexual beings. Every living thing almost needs sex to reproduce its species. It’s also the most pleasurable experience in life for humans everywhere…so why did he then apparently place this ban on expressing it except in the most narrow of legalistic confines? Genesis refers to Eve as Adam’s ‘wife’….but a whole lot of shenanigans must have gone on to populate the earth from just the offspring of those two!

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