As many of you know, I had major surgery on my spine in August. By all accounts, the surgery was a success. Three months later, I am still recovering from the surgery. That said, I am being hammered on every side by chronic pain, gastroparesis, exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (EPI), fibromyalgia, and degenerative spine disease — all of which are incurable. These diseases are my cross to bear. My cross is increasingly heavy, leaving me, some days, in despair. I am also having a blood pressure problem. I am on three blood pressure medications, yet it wildly fluctuates. My primary care doctor made several adjustments to my medications, hoping this will lead to better numbers.
Thanks to a major gastroparesis flare-up and EPI, I am constantly nauseous, and since October 1, I have lost twenty-five pounds. I am on protein supplement shakes so I get enough calories in my diet.
For these reasons, my ability to write is limited, as I am sure you have noticed. My writing production has dropped precipitously. There’s little I can do other than hope for a better day. I saw a new pain doctor who put me on a buprenorphine patch, which is slowly being titrated. The doctor required that I stop using cannabis, which had helped with my pain and nausea. The doctors giveth, the doctors taketh away.
I am woefully behind on answering emails and sending thank-you notes to donors. I apologize for my tardiness, but there’s nothing I can do to change things. I hope things get better soon, and if and when they do, I will do my best to catch up on my correspondence. In time, I hope I can return to a fuller writing schedule. For now, what you see is what you get.
By the way, Polly will have her right knee replaced on December 30. She will be off work for eight weeks.
I appreciate your understanding as I navigate this new normal in my life.
Your kindness, love, and support are greatly appreciated.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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While I know that much of what you’ve been suffering from has no cure, I hope that the treatments will give you some relief from your pain. I enjoy reading what you write so I hope you’ll soon be able to do more of it. Best wishes and good thoughts. Jen
Bruce, I wish I knew how to heal you, or at least ease your pain. And I hope Polly’s knee replacement goes well. Love to both of you.
Yet still find time to blaspheme and bash the one who bled and died and rose again to save you.
RF, you again. Have you nothing better to do than to creep on this blog and pounce on someone else’s misfortune? If heaven exists (very doubtful) I hope that it isn’t full of people who behave as you do.
Bruce, wishing the best for you and Polly. The fact that you keep publishing despite your condition shows your high level of care for everyone (including myself) trying to sort through their religious experiences. If it is of any comfort, know that you have been a great help to me on my own journey, as I am sure you have for many others.
Best wishes and speedy recovery!
Well Bruce it sounds like rough going. But when the going gets tough, tough guys can handle it. For what it’s worth, I’d require a clear explanation why to stop cannabis. There’s irrational bias against it and some biased folks are Doctors. Without the gummies I don’t sleep. Simple as that. If there is a real need to stop cannabis, at least it’s not addictive, certainly not in my case. I was wary at first, thanks to the bias, but I don’t crave it even after daily use for a couple years. Hang in there Bruce. If I said I’ll pray for you, you’d know I’m pulling your leg. I do send my best wishes to you and Polly for better times ahead.
No wiggle room on this. It is part of the contract you sign with the pain clinic. They are definitely behind the times, but I have no other option. I have been to four pain doctors before this guy: one wouldn’t treat me at all, two who were more interested in doing high dollar procedures, and one doctor who was an asshole (who I should have reported to the state medical board). This guy is in his late 30s, quite progressive, and willing to help. However, he is bound by Parkview Hospitals rigid rules. I can still use cannabis as long as I stop at least 30 days before my next drug test. Of course, a random test would be a big problem. I see my primary care doctor next week. He’s not a cannabis fan, so I need to talk to him about other treatments for sleep. I have tried numerous treatments for insomnia over the past twenty-five years — most were worthless. Restoril, by far, worked the best, but thanks to new federal and state laws, doctors are no longer permitted to prescribe benzodiazepines if you are on opiates. Sadly, I am a victim of the war on opiates in a very conservative religious area. Fuck all of them.
Bruce I recently re-discovered DMSO. It was sold without a scrip back in the 70s and 80s. I used it briefly with good effect until false reports it damaged eyesight. That was exaggerated but scared people, me included. About that time the government stopped human research on it. It fell out of use for humans although commonly used in veterinary medicine. I decided to try it again for recently acquired aches and pains. Applied topically like liniment, it appears to relieve pain. Doctors are very conservative so it may not be approved by your pain Docs. It can’t hurt to ask. It relieves my painful shoulders and carpal tunnel syndrome. I also used it with positive results on chronic skin lesions that refused to heal for years. Like cannabis, government prevented research on DMSO so how or why it works is not well understood but it is apparently very safe. I mention it to anyone who might benefit and they can try it or not. It’s available online and legal everywhere.